Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu web novel

Subaru was temporarily saved from his emotional predicament by the encouragement of both Otto and Patrasche (the man and the dog).

　To be honest, there are still many parts of what happened at Dream Castle that I haven't fully comprehended, but I need to digest them one by one and use them to help me grow.

"First of all, we can't get any more cooperation from Echidna..."

　Echidna, the ``Witch of Greed'', had observed Subaru's struggles while pretending to be friendly towards him. After their final exchange, she wanted to believe that that wasn't all there was to it, but witches are creatures who cannot bend to their principles.

　Subaru realized this when he looked at the other five witches - Sekhmet, Daphne, Carmilla, Typhon, and Minerva. They were by no means completely evil in Subaru's eyes. However, he could never bring himself to say that they were good beings.

　Even Minerva, who believes in healing people, was not alone in this. Her willingness to sacrifice everything to heal others, even after losing her own limbs, was more heroic than noble.

　And the last witch, Satella - I'd like to put off thinking about her for later.

　The inexplicable emotions Subaru felt towards Satella welled up inside him. He instinctively understood that trying to answer them was more than just a luxury for Subaru in his current situation; it was "dangerous."

　The final words they exchanged as they parted ways. And the last time he saw Satella - just remembering them made Subaru's heart churn from within with a raging emotion that felt like it was going to burst.

　Therefore, Subaru consciously avoided thinking about Satella, and instead turned his thoughts to another problem: Echidna's final advice, and whether or not he should take Satella at face value.

"You know what I mean, take care of yourself, but..."

　As he faced Satella, and as the first and second Trials overlapped at the Tomb, Subaru learned that those who didn't want him to die would just as much mourn his death. -- He also became aware of his true feelings: that he didn't want to die.

　But what good is that? Nothing has changed, and the fact that there are few weapons available has not changed at all.

　The fact remains that there are still too many problems and nothing has been solved. In fact, there are fewer people we can turn to for solutions.

　My spirits have picked themselves up a little, but in other areas I've only regressed rather than progressed.

"I have to rely on people who care about me... What should I do...?"

　I wonder if it means to confide in someone and rely on them.

　However, the one who forbids this is none other than Satella - no, if we follow the flow of the conversation there, it seems that it is the personality of the Envious Witch who is forbidding Subaru from speaking of "Return by Death". Does Satella's personality have a different argument from the other personality? What is the meaning of her final appeal?

"--That's why, right now is not the time for that."

　My thoughts were about to flow freely towards Satella so I put the brakes on.

　What is needed is concrete solutions to each problem, and their presentation and consideration.

"Garfiel is afraid of the outside world..."

　This was the last piece of advice Echidna had given me, the information she thought would be necessary to break the deadlock.

　Garfiel's attitude has already practically admitted that he underwent the first Trial in the past, and Echidna's words seem to have added to that.

　The question is, what did he see in the past that made him fear the outside world?

　The fact that he did not accompany Frederica when she tried to leave the Sanctuary, due to causing trouble at Roswaal's mansion, is probably not unrelated to that trauma.

　I don't think it's a problem that can be confronted directly and gotten people to talk honestly about.

"In that case, the only option is to find out from people who might know... but both Frederica and Lewes seem to be tight-lipped about such matters..."

　If we believe what Frederica says, she was unable to chase after Garfiel when he entered the tomb, and as a result, she appears to have been in a position where she did not know the details of the Trial. Conversely, Lewes, who jumped in and brought Garfiel back, can be assumed to have experienced one of the clones undergoing the Trial. Isn't it highly likely that she also knows the details of the Trial that Garfiel saw?

"In that case, although I don't really want to do it... I guess the surest thing to do would be to get command using Lewes Meyer's crystal and ask him to keep quiet."

　Even Lewes, who is the leader of the clones and the representative of the Sanctuary, has stated that he cannot oppose an entity that has gained control. There is a compulsion there that makes them do things even against their will.

　The fact that he had gained over twenty people to cooperate meant that his actions had more value than just obtaining information. Or so he wanted to convince himself.

"――――"

　What came to Subaru's mind was the burning Sanctuary and a flock of white rabbits. A sordid memory of how he had desperately tried to escape, inciting Lewes's clones one by one to protect himself.

　He had to rush to Emilia's side. Using this as a justification, Subaru frantically gave orders to Lewes and the others, and even though he was covered in wounds, he rushed to the tomb.

　I have never reflected on or regretted my actions since then, but looking back on it calmly now, I am frightened at how rash my actions were.

　This is especially true now that I've realized how self-centered I am and that I don't want to die.

　Wouldn't I be being more arrogant, more direct, and make them throw their lives away? Even though I didn't want to do that, I couldn't trust myself completely.

"My head is all messed up... I'm being too negative, damn it. I'm thinking about so many things at once, it exceeds my brain's capacity. Let's eliminate them one by one, starting with what we can."

　The questions and answers are directly linked. You should start by solving them one by one, then connect the answers to the bigger problem and move towards a solution.

　For now, Subaru will look for problems that he can turn to positive aspects. First,

"Liberating Sanctuary, this is something I should do since I've completed the first Trial. There's no need to burden Emilia any further. Actually, if she's under too much pressure, it'll affect her mental state, so that's no good."

　He recalls the image of Emilia lovingly snuggling up to Subaru in the snow-covered Sanctuary.

　It was self-evident that Emilia ended up like that as a result of continuing to take on the Trials and becoming heartbroken. Continuing to make someone face the Trials will not lead to good results.

"Assuming that clearing the trial is my problem… then the next thing I'm curious about is the second 'trial'. It was quite tough, but… does that mean I've actually cleared it?"

　An impossible present - under that pretext, a world where the choices had been different. The second "trial" allowed me to experience what might have been a parallel world.

　The Trial, which allowed him to virtually experience a number of world lines that differed from the original flow, may have merely been a parallel world to anyone other than Subaru. However, only to Subaru did the Trial bare its fangs in the truest sense.

　By showing us the many worlds in which Subaru made wrong choices, and what lies beyond.

　There were various forms of regret, various tragic outcomes, and various laments mourning Subaru's "death".

　Experiencing these things with his own eyes, with his own skin, had shattered Subaru's heart into pieces.

　Even now, when I think about it, I can't help but feel a chill run through my whole body and a numbness in my hands and feet.

　And so, as I was crouching, consumed by the screams in my heart, I was taken to the castle of dreams――but in reality, how was the 『Trial』 handled?

　There is no doubt that the situation cannot be said to have been cleared.

　Having said that, how to clear the second "Trial" was different from the first "Trial", and I had no idea.

"There's no point in worrying about it... I have to do what I can."

　Shaking his head, Subaru forced his wavering heart aside and stood up. Placing his hands against the wall of the tomb he had been standing against, he glared at the darkness at the entrance.

　Subaru was lost in thought and was all alone, with Patrasche and Otto, who had been watching over him with worried looks just a moment ago, no longer by his side.

　Feeling stupid and embarrassed about their last exchange, Otto had Patrasche lead him back to the stables. Subaru felt comforted by the affection Patrasche showed as she looked at him with concern until the very end, but he wanted some time alone to gather his thoughts.

"The main problems that need to be dealt with are the Sanctuary and the mansion. The Sanctuary has the Trials, Garfiel, and the Great Rabbit. The mansion has Beatrice and Elsa...there's a limit to how versatile it is."

　I feel depressed because there are so many difficult problems that I have yet to find a solution for. But I can't afford to feel depressed. I will steadily solve the problems one by one.

　Don't think of it as a disposable life or anything like that.

"First, let's confirm the 'Trial'. If a second 'Trial' begins, that's fine, but if it's finished and a third 'Trial' begins, even better."

　At the very least, if the barrier were lifted sooner, the situation would change dramatically. Garfiel would have to think about his next move, and in the worst case scenario, if the Great Rabbit attacked, he would be able to evacuate outside. It was hard to imagine that even Garfiel would continue to be stubborn when faced with the threat of the Great Rabbit.

　The problem with the Sanctuary could most likely be resolved by removing the barrier.

　Thinking this far, Subaru felt a faint ray of hope unfold before his eyes, and he felt a sense of relief.

　Although I was plagued with mind-bending problems, I at least felt like I had a clear path to the answers.

"――――"

　Standing at the entrance to the tomb, I gasp as the stone walkway comes into view through the dim light.

　Once he entered and the Trial began, he might once again be faced with an impossible present. No matter how many times Subaru saw that scene, he would never get used to it.

　But we know that it is something we cannot ignore or forget.

　If you can't escape, you have no choice but to challenge it.

　Subaru took a deep breath, then held it, and stepped forward.

　Stepping into the tomb, he attempts to take on the "trial" to free the "Sanctuary"――

"---!?"

　Immediately after stepping on it, Subaru was suddenly shaken by the sensation of being hit on the skull.

　He felt a pain as if needles were piercing his brain, and the moment a flash of light scattered before his eyes, he lost his footing. His upper body shook and, unable to stand, he collapsed on the spot.

　A violent nausea rises up in me, and the pain in my stomach feels as if it is being squeezed, causing stomach acid to spill out. I cough, but no matter how many times I cough, my body doesn't get any better.

　Alarm bells are ringing, alarm bells are ringing.

　Subaru gasped as a chain of discomfort and discordant sounds raged within his body, and rolled over and out of the tomb. He instinctively knew that the further he stepped inside, the deeper he went, the more the malice corroding his body would unleash its ferocity.

"Ugh...ahh, abruptly, ahhh."

　Rolling out of the tomb, Subaru put his hands on the grass and began vomiting repeatedly.

　As soon as his body left the tomb, the pain that had been tormenting Subaru up until then faded away. The headache, nausea, and numbness in his limbs all began to fade, and Subaru, with tears in his eyes, raised his head,

"Ah, uh... what was that just now...?"

　Looking towards the entrance to the tomb, and reaching out his hand to crawl in that direction, Subaru felt a primordial sense of rejection well up inside him.

　This was not a matter of trauma or fear of the previous Trial, or anything of that nature. --It was clear to see that the Tomb had rejected him.

"Wh-what..."

　Once he realized he had been rejected, Subaru immediately realised what had happened to him.

　Patrasche, who had gone inside to retrieve Subaru, was injured. Roswaal had also been seriously injured when he had entered the Tomb to attempt the Trials. The Tomb rejects those who are not qualified to take the Trials. What if that effect had been exerted on Subaru as well?

"That can't be true...because then..."

　Subaru rose to his feet and, with unsteady steps, bravely set out towards the tomb.

　However, the moment he took a step forward, the headache and nausea returned, and an overwhelming negative sensation crushed Subaru, making it impossible for him to even stand.

"Haa... haa, haa..."

　Taking a step back, breathing heavily as he stepped away from the entrance to the tomb, Subaru had no choice but to acknowledge the truth he had just discovered in his challenge.

"Um, that's mean..."

　What comes to mind is a white-haired witch dressed in mourning clothes.

　As they were leaving, she had undoubtedly asked Subaru:

　He was given the choice to take his hand or Satella's.

　And instead of taking Echidna's hand, Subaru took Satella's.

　If this is retaliation for his actions, then that is too much.

"The ray of hope was finally seen...!"

　At the very end, I thought that he had given me the hint purely out of kindness, so I was even slightly considering reconsidering it.

『---You're not wrong at all, are you?』

　Hearing the mischievous voice of a witch that should not be audible, Subaru looked up at the night sky,

"I didn't hear anything about the revocation of my qualifications, Echidna!!"

　ーーNatsuki Subaru had lost the qualifications to take on the ``Trial'' that would liberate ``Sanctuary.''