Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu web novel

　Finding Emilia crouching, hugging her knees, Subaru felt a misplaced sense of relief.

　Finding Emilia was one thing, and having Emilia here was another.

　The conviction that this was the only place and the desire that it should be here. Both of these desires were fulfilled, and I felt the weight that had been building up in the pit of my stomach naturally drop away.

"Even so, you've thought about it, Emilia-tan."

"..."

"Certainly, here you can hide away alone without being found. To begin with, only a limited number of people can enter, and those who can are all people who don't want to enter at all."

　At the very least, other than Emilia, there were three other people who could enter this place - Echidna's Tomb.

　One refused to undergo the Trials and hated the Tomb, one saw a past that was not his own and left the future of the Sanctuary in someone else's hands, and the last incurred the Witch's wrath during the Trials and had his qualifications revoked.

　Others who qualify do not enter the tomb in order to strictly adhere to the imposed rules.

　It was truly a hiding place behind consciousness that no one could enter except Emilia.

　Emilia didn't reply to Subaru's honest words of praise.

　She remained small and looked up at Subaru in silence.

"--Can I sit next to you? Standing is actually quite tiring."

"..."

"Silence is considered a positive thing in my hometown. Well then, excuse me."

　Under the watchful gaze of others, Subaru declared confidently and sat down next to Emilia.

　Subaru's manliness and courage would naturally increase the distance between them by two fists. The only way to close the distance from this point would be to close the gap in his heart with his words and actions.

　Because right now it's clear that the gap between their feelings is greater than this.

"――――"

"――――"

　Sitting next to each other, a moment of silence fell between them.

　Subaru patiently waited for Emilia to speak, and Emilia, gazing at his profile as he stood there, her lips trembling several times and seeming to hesitate,

"Subaru is…"

"――――"

"Why are you... here?"

"It's hard to say why. I've been thinking about you, Emilia-tan, and I managed to find where you were, I guess."

　This is quite an honor.

　At the very least, within this Sanctuary, he was the one who thought about Emilia the most, and he was the one who was able to guess her feelings most accurately.

　Although, if he had truly sympathized with Emilia's feelings, they probably wouldn't have been having this conversation in the tomb.

　Emilia's eyes widen at Subaru's answer.

　Then he shook his head as if the answer he was given wasn't what he was looking for.

"No. That's not it, Subaru. It's not about why you came here… how… I think only qualified people can enter here."

"Emilia-tan, are you the one who has forgotten? I stepped inside on the first day to bring you out after you collapsed inside. If you're hated by the witches like Roswaal, it seems like your body will explode just by entering, but it doesn't get to that point for me. I just get that floating sensation that lasts endlessly before the elevator arrives. It's not to the point where I can't stand it."

"...That's right"

　He was frustrated that his prediction that no one would be able to get in had been wrong. And, she gave a gentle, sorrowful look at Subaru, who was still being assaulted by the urge to vomit.

　Even though she must be desperately trying to sort out the various things inside her, her consideration for others even in a situation like this is so brave, painful, and endearing.

"How did you know I was here?"

　Talking helps me to distract myself and makes me feel better than remaining silent.

　Perhaps sensing this from the conversation, Emilia looked at Subaru as he took a deep breath and asked a different question.

　The words are laced with doubt, resignation and awkward complexity.

　Resignation was apathy, doubt a gloomy feeling. Both were extremely rare for Emilia to show - perhaps it was the first time Subaru had seen them.

"...Subaru?"

Subaru: "Ah, sorry sorry. The reason I thought I was here is, you see. There's nothing I don't understand about Emilia-tan, that's it."

"Liar."

　Although he wasn't trying to make fun of her, the flippant remark was cut off sharply.

　Emilia, with her chin resting between her knees, tilted her head as she looked at Subaru, the emotions swaying in her amethyst eyes now so chaotic they threatened to engulf her.

　As if disliking having her feelings scooped up, Emilia averted her gaze and pouted her lips so Subaru wouldn't see.

Emilia: "Even if you say it like that, I won't be fooled. —Even I don't know myself that well. There's no way Subaru could understand me."

"You don't really see yourself that well. Other people can see right through you."

　I wouldn't say this is an actual experience, but it does happen quite often.

　When we are in the heat of the moment, we often fail to consider how reckless, foolhardy, and insensitive we are. Sometimes, we only realize it when someone else points it out to us.

　It was only when someone pointed it out to her, just like Subaru had done in the past.

"I half believed, half hoped, that Emilia-tan would be here."

"Half, half..."

"I ran around the village and couldn't find her for a while. Rather than wondering where Emilia-tan had gone, I tried really hard to think of why she had gone somewhere. And then I thought it must be here. I was so relieved when I found her."

"...Just relieved?"

"yeah?"

　As Subaru relaxed his lips in relief, Emilia asked him a question.

　When Subaru raised his eyebrows at the quiet, fading voice, she looked intently into his eyes,

"Were you just relieved to find me here? ... Or angry?"

"What is it, Emilia-tan? Are you scared of me getting angry at you?"

　Seeing Emilia's fearful attitude, Subaru nearly bursts out laughing.

　He disappeared without telling them where he was going, and then his friend managed to find him, and then he was afraid of being scolded, just like a child would do.

　Now that I know her real age and her mental age, it makes some sense, but it was still behavior that was unlike her up until now.

　However, Subaru shook his head without paying any particular attention to the strange feeling.

"I'm not angry. I was a bit worried, and to be honest I was in a panic, but I'm not angry. I'm glad that I was able to find it here."

"...I see."

　The emotion Subaru felt towards the missing Emilia was different from anger.

　If he did feel anger, it was towards Emilia, who had overlooked the signs that she had acted recklessly.

　The anxiety he felt that all of his preparations might be ruined was swept away by the relief he felt now that he had found her.

　So, Emilia's concerns were nothing more than unfounded fears. Or so she intended to convey.

"I'm not angry."

　Although that was her intention, the one muttered by Emilia was not one of relief.

"--Emilia?"

"Subaru, you're not angry with me. Even if you were, you wouldn't give me anything."

　His small, husky voice was trembling.

　By the time Subaru frowned in confusion, it was already too late to realize what was going on.

　Emilia looked down, biting her lip, and opened her eyes wide.

　Her eyes were filled with tears, and she was trying hard to hold them back from spilling out.

"Why aren't you angry?"

"Emily――"

"I did something selfish, didn't I? I caused you trouble, didn't I? I left you quietly and made you worried, didn't I? I made you worry that I might run away… I did things like that. If someone did that to you, you'd want to get angry, right? Don't you feel the same way, Subaru?"

　Emilia interrupts Subaru as he calls out to her, rattling off her emotions in a rapid-fire manner.

　Emilia presses Subaru, insisting that her actions were selfish and trying to get him to denounce her.

　Overwhelmed by her terrifying attitude, Subaru finally realized that he had made a crucial mistake in his choice of words.

　Emilia wasn't afraid of being scolded by Subaru.

　Emilia was afraid that her actions would not be punished.

　Because that wasーー,

"Why aren't you angry…? If you're not angry, isn't it because you don't have any expectations? You're still kind to me even after seeing me fail… isn't it because you're not disappointed? It's because you think it won't work out… isn't it?"

"――――"

　Perhaps it was the very darkness that had been lurking deep in her heart, something that had worried Emilia all this time but which she had never been able to put into words.

　I tried the ``Trials'' over and over again, but each time I returned brokenhearted.

　There are people who see Emilia as a failure and are disappointed in her when she fails, but among them there are people like Subaru and Puck who do not blame her.

　While Emilia was saved by the existence of Subaru and Puck, she was surely also battling anxieties that she could never shake off.

　The reason people are disappointed is because there were expectations.

　The reason I feel pathetic is because I'm disgusted with myself for not being able to resist.

　And yet, even if I fail again and again, if I am still gently comforted, although my heart may feel temporarily relieved, it feels like my heart is burning with even greater anxiety.

　Emilia had always been afraid of Subaru and Puck being kind to her.

"No, Emilia. I don't think like that."

　Subaru, realising too late the high waves in Emilia's heart, speaks out.

　If he didn't catch Emilia right now, he'd be in big trouble. If she rejected him, he wouldn't be able to catch her even if he stretched out his hand.

　So in an instant, without even having time to think about what to say, I speak up.

"The reason I can't get angry at you isn't because I feel that way..."

"Then...! Why! Why... didn't you keep your promise...?"

「――――!!」

　Subaru's expression stiffened at the topic that had been brought up, his words cut off.

　The "promise" that Emilia spoke of was none other than the one that had been exchanged between her and Subaru last night, and whether or not it had been properly fulfilled was a question of fact.

"I asked you to hold my hand until the morning! And you promised me that you understood… why did you let go of my hand? Why didn't you keep your promise…?"

"――――"

"Subaru and Puck, they broke their promises and ran off somewhere. They left me behind and went somewhere... Liars. Subaru's a liar. Puck's a liar... Liar, liar... Liar..."

　He tearfully and harshly criticizes her for breaking her promise.

　Emilia, with her head down and tears spilling down her face, hits Subaru's shoulder, and her weak hand hits his chest. The blow has almost no force. And yet it hurts like it's been pierced.

　All of this was the pain Emilia had endured, something Subaru had overlooked and failed to notice.

　This was what she had been subjected to, one-sidedly, by both Subaru and Puck.

"Promises are important… I told you that before! For a spiritist, for me, promises are important… so I asked you to keep them… I'm sure you apologized for not being able to keep them… but you broke your promise again…"

"...Emilia."

"Breaking promises is no good... lying is no good... You have to keep your promises... because, if you don't... if you don't, I... to Mother and Juice..."

　With her face pressed against Subaru's shoulder, Emilia's emotions were wandering, with nowhere to go. Her thoughts were all jumbled together by the swelling emotions and the pain of betrayal.

　Her words became incoherent and Emilia ended up speaking in a voice that sounded like a crying child.

"Lying is no good... it's no good..."

　The voice that spilled out was trembling with anguish, and Subaru felt a pain ripping out of his chest.

　"Promise" - it was a word that had echoed between Subaru and Emilia many times, taking on different meanings. At times, Subaru had taken it lightly, hurting Emilia and creating a rift between them.

　After their reunion, they would confirm the meaning of their promise and form a bond.

　And yet once again, the ``promise'' was not a gentle one, but rather it bound the two of them with a heavy weight.

　Above all, the way Emilia spoke of the "promise" was completely different from usual. Something, an important part of Emilia's very core, was binding her to the promise.

"――――"

　Emilia was still sobbing, her head buried between her knees.

　With every second he had her in front of him, Subaru's heart was torn apart by guilt.

　I struggled to think of what to say as I listened to the sounds of sobbing.

　Should I apologize, act like I understand, try my best to comfort them, or tell them how much I care?

　Thoughts were spinning around in Subaru's head, and he couldn't get a sense of where the right answer was coming from.

　What, why, how to do it, what should be done, what is the best way to do it.

"――――"

　Thinking, thinking, thinking, Subaru closed his eyes as his thoughts swirled, and then.

　I felt like I had found the answer to what I should do.

"Emilia. --I love you."

"――――"

　It was a terrible, inappropriate thing to say here.

"...picture?"

　Emilia, hearing Subaru's words, raised her head in a shocked voice.

　Emilia's gaze caught Subaru, her amethyst eyes still filled with tears, wide open. Subaru's image appeared distorted on the drops of water - and so, facing him, she kept her own heart strong and unwavering.

　Because I no longer have any doubts about what to say.

"Every night, you run into the same 'trial' over and over again. What's a 'trial'? It's just the past. Don't keep whining about something that's already happened."

"...match"

"When I offered to do it for her, she stubbornly said it was something she had to do. If that meant she could clear the challenge, it would be one thing, but if the result was the same, then it's all just lip service. I want you to try and feel for the person who has to be defeated so many times."

"Subaru..."

"And to top it off, when your pet and guardian is gone, you can't even stand and walk properly on your own. You cry your eyes out, making everyone worried, abandoning your duties and sleeping in your bed. That's good, but I can't take it anymore."

　Subaru spat out his words, and Emilia's eyes widened as if she had seen something unbelievable. Her eyes had been moist with shock, and even the tears had disappeared, and her lips trembled weakly, unable to utter any meaningful words.

　Without a doubt, Emilia's heart was hurt more than anything.

　She was torn to shreds by the malice and loathing that the person called Natsuki Subaru had never directed towards her before.

　Emilia's expression distorts.

　Not the sadness that brings tears, nor the rage that makes one rage, nor the emptiness that makes one resign.

　Receiving the abuse she had never been subjected to before, Emilia's expression changed. It was something completely different, not in keeping with the normal expression.

　--Emilia's mouth curves into a very dry smile.

"That's right. Subaru, you would think that about me, it's only natural..."

"――――"

"It's all terrible things, things that can't be helped... ever since I came to Sanctuary... no, for a long time now... I've been nothing but trouble... so, I..."

"That's right. To be honest, there hasn't been a single good thing about him since he came to Sanctuary. I know I'm not one to criticize others, but even so, this is just too bad. There's no way to explain it."

　Subaru affirms Emilia's trembling self-denial.

　Emilia's throat tightened as she heard it. Swallowing a sob or something similar, she continued to smile painfully.

"So, it's only natural that I was abandoned by both Puck and Subaru..."　

"Indeed. Even after all the things he's done, there's still no sign of improvement. It's only natural that rather than wanting to do something about it, I feel more like just letting things be what they are."

　Emilia tried to respond to the denial given by Subaru.

　Subaru snatched the final part of her answer and harshly criticised her.

"--But"

　Just before the end came, Subaru cut off his words of denial.

　Emilia raised her head and looked at Subaru, an emotion floating in her eyes that only Subaru could understand.

　--It was the same emotion that Subaru had once felt.

"I love you.――Emilia."

　Subaru won't let Emilia escape, using the same words that had once prevented him from escaping.

※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※

　Her long eyelashes framing her eyes were trembling, and Emilia's consciousness was stolen away by Subaru's words.

　Subaru's cheeks relaxed slightly at the sight of Emilia, stiffened and even her thoughts ceasing.

　It's neither a relief nor mockery; if I had to say, it's nostalgia.

　Everything, including what Emilia had wanted, felt so nostalgic that it made her want to scream.

"I love you. I love you so much, I love you so much, I can't help it."

"Wh, what are you saying all of a sudden..."

"I love your super beautiful silver hair, your moist, jewel-like amethyst eyes, your voice that makes me feel dreamy just by listening to it, your slender long limbs, fair skin, and the height difference between us are just too ideal, I can't help it, just being with you makes my heart beat so fast I love you so much it's crazy."

"――――"

"I like how you're a little absent-minded, how you put your all into everything you do is cute, I respect how you can be so desperate for someone, I can't help but feel the way you neglect yourself, and I think it would be the best if I could feel all of your expressions, all of your emotions, by your side forever… that's what I've always thought."

"At a time like this...don't mess with me!"

　His feelings for Emilia flowed smoothly from his mouth.

　Shaking off what Subaru was saying, Emilia screamed at the top of her lungs.

　Shaking her shoulders and raising her brows, Emilia was trying to change the subject, to avoid being blamed, and was expressing her anger at Subaru's attitude, which seemed to be ruining everything they had done up until now.

"Why did you suddenly bring that up?! That's not what we were talking about! Subaru, you said that I was completely useless, that I was not good enough at all, that's what you said! That you couldn't go out with me anymore, that you couldn't look at me anymore… I was, well…"

"Yeah, that's right. Seeing her be such a useless person, all talk and results that make me want to sigh, I'm short-tempered to begin with, so I would have lost patience with her a long time ago. If it wasn't for Emilia."

"Why!!"

　Despite acknowledging the disappointment of the result, Subaru denies the most important part.

　Emilia raised her voice, unable to comprehend this, as if it was something she could not forgive.

Subaru: "It's all me that's no good and that you can't save me, isn't it?! And yet, why do you try to overlook that? Why do you forgive it? Why…"

「If that's the only answer, I've already told you so many times. It's because I love you!」

"----!"

　As Emilia approached him in a tearful voice, Subaru turned to face her and spoke up in response.

　Emilia leans back as if intimidated, but Subaru closes the distance in the same amount. They continue to gaze at each other, breathing deeply into each other.

"I love you. So no matter what disappointing things you show me, I feel like I've discovered a new side of you, Emilia, and even when you're lacking in many areas, I still cheer you on, telling you that this is where you need to work harder. No matter how much you dislike yourself, I'll never hate you."

"――――"

"Even if you're tired of your own pathetic and worthlessness, and worry that everyone around you should be rejecting you in the same way... I'll continue to have high hopes for you, and I won't abandon you or give up on you because of your weakness."

　Emilia's eyes waver.

　It was the gaze that had been fixed on Subaru earlier - the weakness contained therein, wanting to accept denial, embrace resignation, and sink into sadness and grief.

　Emilia wanted to be denied. By having herself and others acknowledge that she was hopeless, by knowing that she was beyond salvation, she could finally feel saved.

　I know that, but I also know that I will be pulled away from it.

　Once upon a time, Natsuki Subaru had also tried to abandon him in the same way, but was still unable to be abandoned.

"I'm crazy about you. All of Emilia's good points shine through to me. Of course, I know that it's not all good. You… you're not an angel or a goddess, you're just an ordinary girl. You want to cry when you experience pain or difficulty, you want to avoid things you don't like, and if you could choose only easy and fun things, you would want to do that too."

"――――"

Subaru: "But I love everything about you, Emilia, even your weak spots and what some might call your ugly side. So… even now I'm not disappointed in you."

"--! That's not right! That's too selfish!"

　The thoughts spun from Subaru's mouth.

　Hearing this one after the other, Emilia was unable to control her confusion and retorted.

"Even though you denied it like that, and told me so many times that it was no good, you still say you like me… I can't believe it! How can you believe in me like that, Subaru… I don't understand it at all!"

「No! It's all wrong from the start! I can trust you because of what's going on, therefore I love you. ーーThat's not it. I love you. Therefore, I can trust you. It's like this!」

"Just because you like something doesn't give you a reason to believe it!"

"--! If you can't trust me just because I like you, then who would willingly come and rescue me and go through all this pain for a troublesome woman like you!"

　Their voices rise and their emotions collide.

　Subaru placed his hands on the wall and stood up, and Emilia also stood up to face him.

　Standing so close that their foreheads almost bumped, Subaru and Emilia raised their eyebrows at each other and howled their feelings.

　With spit flying and faces red, the two of them had never once exchanged words in such a loud voice before: "You're wrong."

「I love you! I love you so much that it drives me crazy, so much that I'm willing to die for you! That's why I'm enduring the pain and suffering, and even now, even though I feel like I'm going to throw up, I'm standing in front of you!」

"That's not true! I didn't ask you to do that! You're just saying whatever you want… You're the one who doesn't think about my feelings at all! That's how you are… Subaru, you're the one who has to take the brunt of the damage because of me, and you're always getting hurt… You have no idea how I feel when I see you!"

「I don't know, I don't even think about it! All I think about is how to look cool in front of you! How to make myself look the best in your eyes, how to get the result that will make you the happiest... Other people are going through all this trouble, so at least look a little cute the way you want to!」

"Don't talk to me like I'm a doll! If you want to make me happy or anything like that...w, why do you break your promises? It would be fine if you just kept what I asked you to do! Why don't you do that? You must really hate me!"

"I love you!!"

"You liar!!"

　As Subaru was desperately pouring out his feelings, Emilia's high-pitched voice overlapped with his.

　How many detours did Subaru have to take to finally express these feelings? How many obstacles did he have to overcome to get the words he needed to say?

　The love confessions scattered throughout the place were so numerous that they almost seemed cheesy, but to Subaru, every single one of them was his true feelings, something that permeated his heart and soul, down to the last fiber of his soul.

「I'm not lying! I like you! You're the one who should be wondering what you think of me! You're always flirting with me! Every time you make a cute face and act like you're interested in me, do you know how much my heart is wavering! Don't mess with me!」

"I, I'm not kidding! I'm just acting normally, so don't say weird things! I have so many things to think about right now, and it's hard enough, but what do I think of Subaru… I can't be thinking about that! Stop it! Don't make me feel bad!"

"Who's the one causing trouble? Me? You?!"

"Subaru! It's me, right?!"

　It's a clash of emotions without a shred of logic.

　Like angry children yelling abuse at each other wherever they can be seen, Subaru and Emilia loudly assert their feelings towards each other.

　Their voices echoed in the dim, cramped tomb, and the place that had been silent for a long time was filled with the commotion that had been there since the tomb's construction. They clashed with each other in an outburst that threatened to wake up the beings sleeping in the tomb, and the two of them continued their pointless argument, breathing heavily.

"No matter what you say, I can't believe it anymore! Subaru's a liar! He broke his promise, and yet he still showed his face in front of me without a care in the world… You probably thought I didn't notice! I was watching closely! I was watching closely to see if Subaru would keep his promise to me!"

"Don't be so mean! Don't you feel embarrassed when you pretend to be weak and test people?!"

"You're a liar who broke your promise and has no right to say such things to me!"

"My breaking of a promise and this incident are completely separate issues!"

　Emilia's cheeks turn red with anger at Subaru who is nonchalantly trying to shift the issue. Her emotions are so overwhelmed that she can't find the words to say.

　Emilia took several rough breaths and squeezed out the words.

"Why... why did you break your promise...?"

"…I feel bad about breaking my promise. It's true that I wanted to hold your hand and stay with you until the morning."

"I have not heard anything about that. Why did you break your promise?"

"...I can't say."

　Subaru gritted his teeth and groaned in pain as he answered Emilia's question.

　Emilia let out a long sigh at his attitude of trying to brush off the question even at this late stage.

"You don't keep your promises. You don't tell me why you broke them. And what do you want me to do? If you say you love me, then you should do it properly! Otherwise I won't be able to trust you."

"Emilia."

"If only he had kept his promise and stayed with me until morning! I would have been able to trust Subaru! I would have trusted Subaru, and entrusted him with everything! But he broke his promise… so I'm no good now… both Subaru and Puck are leaving me behind…"

　Emilia's face crumples and she runs her fingers through her silver hair, bowing her head.

　The rage from a moment ago turned to heat, and Emilia shifted her focus, embracing herself.

"With Puck gone, a certain scene comes to mind. Unfamiliar scenery, conversations I don't remember, keep flooding my mind..."

"――――"

"Even up until now, I thought I had remembered everything properly, but the memories that come to mind are all things I don't recognize... But, they are definitely my memories... Every time I remember, every time something that should have happened but I've forgotten comes to mind, I get worried..."

　The memories Emilia was speaking of - were the real memories that she wanted to turn away from, the ones that Puck had dragged out in exchange for his bond with Emilia.

　In order to seal away the past she didn't want to remember, Emilia had been using Puck as a lid to lock away her memories. With her contract with Puck now severed and her yoke now gone, her memories begin to overflow, and her true memories begin to fill her insides.

　However, it was so dramatic that it marked a change in her.

"I finally realized that I was relying on Puck and running away from so many things... Puck must have left to teach me this. But I'm scared. I'm scared. Without Puck, real memories are flooding me... It's like I'm no longer myself."

"――――"

"When all these memories come flooding back… I'll surely become a different person. Right now, I'm convinced that these memories, which are different from my true memories, are the beginning of my life… But if I were to remember my true beginning… The journey I've taken so far will surely disappear…"

　Emilia's resolve and determination were formed from false memories.

　So, when she regains her true memories, when the way things began has changed, what will happen to Emilia's current resolve and determination, and the path she has walked up until now?

"--What's important isn't the beginning or the middle, but the end."

"――――"

　Suddenly, a voice resonated in my mind.

　The distant voice that Subaru should be familiar with is the voice of someone close to him, but whom he can no longer meet.

　As they were about to part ways, the last thing she gave Subaru was a piece of homework.

　Ah, that's right -- I think so.

　No matter how it begins, no matter what path you take, until the very, very end, who has the right to decide whether it was a mistake or not?

"No matter what memories Emilia remembers, nothing will change. I love you. I always will."

"-- I can't believe it. You tell me you love Subaru… even after you're gone, you still feel that way…"

「I can say it. No matter what happens, you're not going to go away. I love you.」

"...You're such a liar. You didn't let me believe you..."

"--Then I'll make you believe it."

　With a trembling voice and trembling eyes, Emilia tried to reject Subaru.

　Words don't get the point across. Attitude doesn't convince. So there is no other way to express your feelings than through actions.

　that's why,

"Excellent..."

"If you don't like it, get out of the way."

　Close enough to feel each other's breath - no, close enough that not even their breath can be separated.

　Subaru reaches out to Emilia's shoulder and brings her face close. Seeing Subaru approach her, Emilia stiffens, confusion in her eyes.

　Wait a second.

　If you can shake it off, that's it.

"――――"

　But Emilia closed her eyes.

　Subaru didn't know if it was a sign of resignation or a result of hesitation.

"--Hm."

"――――zu"

　Their breathing intertwined, Emilia gasping for air, and Subaru frowning in pain.

　The small sound came from the force of our teeth crashing together. At first I felt a faint tingling pain, but the intense heat quickly made that sensation disappear from my mind.

　Soft lips. A mere touch of a kiss.

　It was Emilia's first kiss, and Subaru's second.

　Unlike the first kiss, which had a cold, "death" taste, the second kiss had a hot, "life" taste.

"--ah"

　Without any response, their lips parted.

　Their faces, which had been touching, separate and they stare at each other, forgetting even to breathe.

　Flushed cheeks. Moist eyes. Reflected in Emilia's eyes, her own face also had a melting look on its face.

　Subaru, who had come to his senses at the sight of that pitiful face, took a breath as if he had just remembered,

"I love you."

"――――"

Subaru: "No matter how many times I see your weaknesses, no matter how much we argue like this, I still love you, Emilia. That won't change no matter what happens――And that's why I'll always believe in you. If you ask why, that is."

"I love you, that's why..."

　Taking over from Subaru's words, a stunned Emilia touched her lips with her fingers. As if to confirm the feeling that still lingers there, she traced his soft lips, and tears began to flow.

　The tears that roll down her white cheeks sparkle like moondrops.

"It's only natural to feel uneasy when unfamiliar memories come flooding back. I can understand feeling scared, as if a new side of yourself you don't know might emerge. But that won't erase the path Emilia has walked, nor will it change your feelings."

"How can you say something like that?"

"The important thing isn't the first time. It's the last time. --The woman I respect the most in the world told me that."

　Although she is usually the most incomprehensible person in the world, my mother is the one who teaches me the most important things in the world.

　I don't fully understand it, but I want to understand it.

　Because there is a child in front of me and I hope we can understand each other together.

　As Emilia stood there feeling anxious, Subaru shrugged nonchalantly.

　It's no big deal, I told myself, kicking the anxiety away.

"It's okay, Emilia. No matter what you remember, I'm on your side. Just remember anything you've forgotten. If you're still scared, let's find it."

"Find... what...?"

Subaru: "Just like I can charge ahead with my feelings for Emilia, Emilia will be able to charge ahead without worrying about what others think, it's an important feeling."

　For someone, Emilia is willing to sacrifice herself.

　Subaru finds her noble and beautiful, putting others first like that, and loves her.

　The words ``for someone'' are very kind and very sad.

　The feelings you have for someone you can't see will never reach the same level as the feelings you have for someone you can see.

"I hope that those precious feelings will be directed towards me."

"My... precious feelings..."

　Emilia, not seeming to hear what Subaru was saying, placed a hand on her chest and lowered her eyes. She reached out her fingers to the spot where the crystal that had been Puck's vessel would have been.

　Now that their bond had been shattered, he reached out to confirm but found nothing. His fingertips only scratched the void. But Emilia held his hand tightly,

"Now that I've regained all of these memories... I wonder if they're inside... my precious feelings."

"Yes. There must be a reason to keep walking."

"--yeah"

　He wasn't exactly in disbelief, but his expression still didn't show complete acceptance.

　Seeing Emilia slightly tilt her chin back, Subaru closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

　I feel like the words he used when I was lifted up in the same way had more power.

　I feel like I would have been saved if there had been kinder words, stricter words, or stronger words.

　--Am I being of any help to Emilia?

"――――"

　It's just too uncool to ask it out loud.

　He sighed, and the nausea he had forgotten as soon as he relaxed shook Subaru to his very core. He instinctively put his hands on the wall and just barely managed to hold back the urge to vomit.

"Subaru?"

"It's nothing... I want to act tough, but it's nothing. Things are pretty bad right now. For now, if we're going to continue arguing or talking, I want to do it outside."

"Come on... you don't mean it like that."

　As Subaru tried to act tough with a pale face, Emilia's lips curved into a faint smile.

　However, her expression was weak and she was trying desperately to appear normal. She still hadn't come up with a clear answer. Her anxiety hadn't been wiped away.

　Placing his hands on the wall, he started walking towards the outside of the tomb.

　As Subaru staggers along, Emilia's hand reaches out and then retreats, uncertain as to whether to touch him. Their lips had touched earlier, and it seems that it had had a great effect on her.

　Thinking back on it now, it was such a bold thing to do and my face gets hot.

　However, all of those sentimental feelings have now been left behind.

"――――"

　For Emilia, the best thing to do to show that Subaru was on her side.

　It meant fulfilling the role he had set for himself and protecting her and her feelings.

　that's why--,

"I have to do what I have to do."

　Go outside the cemetery.

　Bright sunlight greeted the two as they stepped out of the darkness.

　and,

"--Hey, sorry to keep you waiting."

"Tch."

　Saying this, Subaru raised his hand and she clicked her tongue in annoyance.

"--- I'm not really waiting."

　--Garfiel stood there, his whole body stained in blood and filled with hostility.