Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu web novel

　Facing the witch looking back at her in the mirror, Emilia let out a sigh.

　Echidna, the "Witch of Greed," is completely colored in just two colors: black and white.

　Finding Echidna in a dream world that recreates her room, Emilia realizes that this is truly a place that was created inside her head.

　A peaceful, tranquil, gentle world where the days spent in the forest continued forever.

　A world where Fortuna, Juice, Arch, and everyone in the forest could laugh together.

"But that world doesn't exist anywhere..."

"Exactly. This is a temporary world, shaped based on your memories and wishes. However, the world-building power of the ritual that governs the Trials exceeds human understanding. The people who live in this world are exactly as they would have been if they'd just buttoned the buttons in the wrong place."

　Emilia had just remembered the truth of the day when the Great Elior Forest froze over.

　If the damage had not occurred and the forest had continued to enjoy peace, would everyone be able to smile and greet this day?

　The image of Fortuna and Juice sitting happily together at the dinner table is burned into my memory.

　That was the scene that young Emilia had wished to see for the last time, and that now, with her memories revived, Emilia had wished from the bottom of her heart to see.

"Looking at this impossible present, have you ever wanted to sink into this world?"

　As if peering into Emilia's heart, Echidna offers sweet temptations.

　Echidna gazed upon Emilia, her eyes as cold as her voice. She stroked her own snow-white hair, letting it flow down her back,

"My mother and her husband. When you saw how happy they were, didn't you wish they would stay that way forever? Didn't you dream of spending your days admiring the way the people who lived in the forest looked on and the friendly attitude of your friends?"

"...What are you trying to say?"

"It's just jealousy, or something like that. The fact that you found me means that you've already found the answer to the state of this world. I also know, boring as it may be, that the answer is to choose reality over dreams. Since the outcome is already clear, I thought I'd leave my mark, even if just a little."

"――――"

"You chose the reality that your mother and those close to you met an unhappy end over their happiness. In the end, the result of the 'Trial' is that you are a despicable woman who puts herself above all else."

　Echidna's scathing criticism was like a sharp spear piercing Emilia's heart.

　The words were so sharp that it felt like pain, and even though he had not actually stabbed her with a blade, Emilia instinctively placed her hand on her chest and took a step back.

　Echidna snorted softly at Emilia's reaction.

"I'm glad to see that you have become more aware. Furthermore, the Trials don't take into account the personality of the challenger. As long as they are qualified, they will be accepted regardless of their personality disorder or whether they are a mass of selfishness and narcissism. Rest assured. Your goal will soon be achieved."

"That's amazing... you really hit where it hurts. Are you like that with everyone?"

"No way."

　Echidna shrugged at Emilia's desperate words.

"The only people in this world I treat with ill will are you and two others."

"I'm not happy at all about being chosen by only three people in the world. I don't remember saying anything to you that would make you dislike me that much."

"There's no need to look so worried. My dislike of you has nothing to do with the fact that you're a half-elf. I don't question the merits of your origins. It has nothing to do with your blood or qualities, I just dislike you… No, maybe that's not quite right either."

"--?"

　Echidna looked down, feeling uneasy about the latter part of his statement. Emilia frowned as she watched the Witch think deeply about something and shook her head slightly.

　I can't just go home satisfied with what I've been told.

　Above all, there were many parts of Echidna's words that she had to deny. Not for Emilia's own sake, but for the sake of the honor of everyone in the forest.

"I think it's inevitable that you dislike me. I know very well that it's difficult to be liked by everyone. I've been told many times that they dislike me."

"In that case, it would have been even better if you had known better and stayed in the forest."

"That won't work. I told you that in the previous Trial. I'll melt the ice in the forest and save everyone. Then I'll proudly tell everyone that the world has become a place where it's easy to walk."

"That's a pretty bold lie, saying it's easy to walk around. Discrimination between races is still strong, and people's hearts do not easily accept those who are different from themselves. That's why places like "sanctuaries" have not lost their function. The number of victims of what you call misunderstandings in the world continues to increase endlessly. Isn't that right?"

"...That's right."

　Echidna's harsh words made Emilia look down.

　Emilia's slender body still remembers the days she and Puck spent together in the forest. The times when they were feared by the neighboring villages, and were subjected to no small amount of malice and abuse.

　Echidna's merciless attitude reminded Emilia of those days. No matter how much she tried not to remember, the wounds remained as scabs, never to heal, and continued to hurt.

"But I'm trying to do it differently."

"――――"

　Still conscious of the pain from her wound, Emilia argued with Echidna in a strong tone.

　Seeing Echidna narrow her eyes, Emilia bites her lip and strains her eyes.

"Being different from others can sometimes lead to painful misunderstandings. Being outnumbered or outnumbered can sometimes be a big factor in separating victims from perpetrators."

"If you look at history, the same thing has been repeated over and over. People cannot accept differences. And the greater the number, the greater the power. The more persecute the less. Even if you understand law and become wiser, what will you do with it? Will you gather the less and create a paradise for the weak? Isn't that the very essence of a place called a 'sanctuary'?"

"That is also an option. But I want to choose a different path. Even if I can't change the fact that I was a victim or a perpetrator, the future will be different, right?"

　The moment Emilia said the word future, Echidna's expression froze.

　To Emilia, it seemed as if Echidna was angry and wanted to say, "I don't want Emilia to say that to me." But still, Emilia continued.

"As the royal selection process progresses, I'm sure I'll do many things. I may be subjected to more malice and abuse than before. But I don't want to stop, I want to keep saying what's wrong with being different from others. Is it really so scary to have the person next to you being different from you?"

"Please don't make me repeat myself, but that is law. Humans cannot accept the differences between themselves and others. Essentially, living things desire others to be the same as themselves. Like the same things, love the same things, hate the same things, and despise the same things -- they feel a sense of security in this way, and love things that they can understand. Your argument will be rejected. It will be dismissed as the delusions of the weak."

"That's just plain mindless behavior! It's not cool!"

"Does it look bad...?"

　Emilia raised her voice and Echidna's eyes widened, as if she had been hit with something unexpected.

　And in response to the faltering Echidna, Emilia puffed out her chest and said, "That's right!"

"That's not cool. The person next to me is different, so I don't like it... I'm not a child. I can't stand it if you cover your ears for that reason. If you're going to be so ignorant, I'll tell you again and again. Rather than stopping to think and yelling "no, no, no," it's easier for you to try thinking for a bit, in order to shut me up when I keep saying the same thing over and over again."

"How selfish. How self-deceiving. Are you trying to force your opinion on others by rejecting theirs?"

"I won't push him away. It's up to the person whether they want to remove their hand from their ear or not. I'm just confident about who's more stubborn, me or that person."

　With her hands on her hips, Emilia made it clear to Echidna that she would not give in to her decision.

　Hearing this, Echidna made a bitter face and averted her gaze from Emilia. And then,

"Whatever your argument, the world has not changed. The people who live in the forest, who are trapped in the ice - even if they were to survive, and were brought out into the melted world, the world would not be ready to welcome them back. You are simply trying to throw the people who have been so kind to you into the raging waves. Because of your own hypocritical thoughts."

"..."

"I want to free my comrades as soon as possible. However, if I do so, they will have to endure the wall of rejection from the world. Living is pain, and dying is pain. What will you do about such a world, with your own determination? How will you change it? How will it change?"

　That was Echidna's true question to Emilia.

　Echidna had confirmed Emilia's resolve through these two Trials, the past and the impossible present. With these Trials in mind, Echidna then asked Emilia what lay beyond that resolve.

　The outlook for what lies ahead if you stick to your resolve.

　A path to reach the future you envision.

　Concrete foundations on which to build that path.

　Emilia nodded to the question and said.

"I'll think about that after the Trial is over!"

"--teeth?"

"It's counterproductive to be too conscious of what's coming next and neglect what's right in front of you. I hate to say it myself, but I'm clumsy. If there's a wall in front of me that I have to get over, and I try to do something while worrying about what's beyond that, I think I'll fall into a hole in the wall."

　After the Trials and her argument with Subaru, Emilia thought she had learned to look at herself fairly accurately and objectively.

　I believe that my current self-evaluation has been honest.

　I'm not a very skilled person who can tackle many things on my own.

　You can only achieve results if you put your all into the task at hand and work hard.

　There is hope and vision for the future.

　First, decide that you want to achieve that goal and then take the first step to get there.

　What we need to take here is the first step.

"...I've just realised how pointless it was to argue with you. What I did was really foolish."

"I know you're smart, but I really think it's unfair to try to shut down other people's opinions like that."

"You thought we were exchanging opinions? You just replied with nice words in response to my problem. I forgot. You're a helpless child, a weak woman who can't stand on her own and has to rely on those around her."

"Yeah... I guess I'm a weak girl."

　Emilia lowered her eyes at the harsh words and shook her head slightly.

　However, Emilia quickly raised her head, staring back at Echidna, and added, "But,"

"Is being weak really such a bad thing?"

"...what?"

"Anyone who has taught me something important would tell you that being weak isn't a bad thing. Trying to remain weak is what's bad."

　I picture in my mind a boy with black hair and a mean look in his eyes.

　A precious boy who laments his powerlessness, but is kind-hearted and rushes around to hurt others more than anyone else.

　That person, who is relying on everyone's help but still finds themselves in the most difficult position, will surely answer in this way.

"That's just defiance."

"Yeah. I was a little late in accepting that."

　Seeing Emilia even smiling, Echidna realized that this time there was really no room for argument.

　Emilia was beyond forward-looking; she was leaning forward, and Echidna had no way of stopping her.

　Furthermore, interfering any further would even threaten her own pride as a ``Witch.''

"...At the very least, enjoy the rest of the Trials. Once they're over, a reality far more harsh than the Trials awaits you. There, you'll come to realize just how difficult it is to keep up the niceties you've put together."

"Thank you so much for your time. I'll make sure to remember what you said. Also..."

　Perhaps it was on the verge of disappearing in the mirror.

　Seeing Echidna's image in the mirror begin to blur, Emilia continued speaking. Echidna frowned in the world beyond the mirror. Her frown made Emilia,

Thank you for showing me this world.

"――――"

"This may be an impossible world, but it's definitely the world I wanted to see. I never thought the day would come when I'd see Mother and Father Juice, smiling side by side like that. So, thank you."

　It is painful to hear such a bold statement made that this was a world that would never come to fruition.

　However, even if it was an impossible world, Emilia had seen a scene that could have possibly happened.

　What was there was undoubted happiness, and surely love, and it made me tremble with joy and sadness.

　I can truly say from the bottom of my heart that I am glad to have come across this sight.

"...you"

　With those thoughts in mind, he conveyed his words of gratitude――and upon hearing them, Echidna's expression changed.

　The look on his face earlier, as if he had seen something unpleasant, the manner in which he spoke as if he was enduring his dissatisfaction, the look of contempt he had shown as he looked down on Emilia's actions, the many other expressions he had shown up until now - this was a look that was different from any of them.

　--Echidna simply looked at Emilia with a tearful face.

"Echidna...?"

"I hate you. ーーI just hate you."

　Without responding, Echidna looked down and answered in a strained voice.

　The image in the mirror distorts, and the white-haired witch disappears in the blink of an eye. Instead, a girl with long silver hair appears in the mirror――

"--!"

　A sense of rejection pierced her heart, and Emilia quickly looked away from the mirror.

　Your heart beats faster and your breathing becomes slightly heavy.

　Even though I thought I had made up my mind, I was terrified by what I saw reflected in the mirror in front of me.

"――――"

　Emilia was trapped in ice along with the Great Elior Forest, and after a hundred years was rescued by Puck. She had never once seen her grown-up self in a mirror.

　The reason was simple: it was scary.

　Having spent a hundred years asleep, the girl named Emilia has grown into a woman's body, although her mind remains that of a child.

　When Emilia regained consciousness and first realized she couldn't control her body properly, she was overcome with the illusion that her body wasn't her own, and spent many nights crying.

　What added to her trauma was the reaction of people in nearby villages.

　Emilia, who shares the same physical characteristics as the "Witch of Jealousy," was feared by the villagers as if she were the devil. Even when they realized that Emilia meant no harm, they continued to shun her.

　As it became clear that Emilia would no longer do anything, what awaited her were days of persecution, full of insults and malice. In the midst of all this, it became ingrained in her, at least in her subconscious, that the reason they hated her was because she looked like a "Witch".

　It must have been from that point on that I began to reject the mirror and to behave in a way that would prevent me from seeing the image of myself that others disliked.

　Puck, aware of Emilia's psychological trauma, removed everything that might show her image. Even when drawing water from the water source, he called out to Emilia to keep her attention away from the water's surface.

　--The clause in her contract with Puck stating that he would take care of Emilia's daily grooming was probably actually there to protect that Emilia.

　In order to protect his daughter who could not look in the mirror, Puck covered up her trauma by calling it a contract.

"...I wonder just how many people have protected me."

　I wonder how much he had been feeling, sulking alone, without even realising how much he was feeling.

　So the time when I could be ignorant of what I was being given is over.

"----!"

　Take a breath and hold it.

　Then Emilia raised her head and glared at the mirror with great resolve.

　Reflected in the mirror was a girl with long silver hair and amethyst eyes.

　He glares at me with squinted eyes, his face as if welcoming the end of the world.

"--What is it?"

　A disappointed voice leaked out.

　Looking at her grown-up self in the mirror, Emilia lets out a sigh.

"It's a shame that you don't resemble Mother Fortuna as much as I thought you would..."

　Immediately after he muttered in a sulky voice, the world crumbled into pieces with a loud noise.

　The dream world that was so happy and that I didn't want to let go, but that I had to leave, is coming to an end.

※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※

"--Ah, hu."

　When Emilia regained consciousness, she realized that she had fallen asleep with half her body leaning against the wall.

　I sat cross-legged on the floor, leaning against the wall where Subaru's engraved message remained. I smoothed my messy hair back with my hands and drew the last time I saw myself on the back of my eyelids.

　Was that the way she looked, the reason so many people feared her as a "Witch," and why Subaru would take every opportunity to call her "cute" and "love her"?

　Emilia, who has little understanding of beauty and ugliness, doesn't know which is the correct perception.

　However, Mother Fortuna is the symbol of the most beautiful and cool person in Emilia's mind, so she doesn't think that having a mean look in her eyes is a bad thing, and in fact she doesn't dislike Subaru's mean look in his eyes either.

"I had just returned, so this was not the time to be thinking about strange things."

　Placing her hand on her cheek, Emilia put a stop to her thoughts.

　No matter how you look at it, he's too weak-willed. Just because he'd safely completed the Trial, returned home, and seen Subaru's handwritten message, he couldn't help but wonder how elated he was.

"But... is this the end of the second Trial?"

　Muttering to herself, Emilia stood up and pondered the possibility of success.

　Judging from Echidna's attitude as we parted ways, the Trial was probably over. Unlike the first Trial, he didn't have any real feeling that he had overcome it.

　Still, I am certain that I was able to free myself from the mind that was trying to trap me and return.

"――――"

　Fortuna and Juice. Remembering their loving friendship makes my heart ache.

　However, Emilia suppressed her feelings of sorrow and turned her back on the Trial.

　If there is a third "Trial", then just like the second "Trial", it will require entry and exit.

　With this momentum, they will overcome the third "Trial" and liberate the "Sanctuary".

　For Subaru's sake, for Ram's sake, and to carry out the threat Emilia herself had made to Roswaal, she needed the strength to act.

"--It's already pitch black."

　As she made her way through the dark ruins' passage, her footsteps echoing off the cobblestones, Emilia squinted her eyes as she noticed the weak light coming in from the entrance to the tomb.

　Perhaps the moonlight is being blocked by clouds, or the faint, hazy light is starlight.

　In the Sanctuary, where most light sources are dimmed at night, the only means of cutting through the darkness was the natural light pouring down from the sky.

"--Eh?"

　Emilia was walking while thinking like this.

　So the moment she left the tomb, she involuntarily choked at the amount of consciousness that was showered upon her slender body.

"Oh, here you come!"

　When someone spoke up, a murmur instantly spread throughout the surrounding area.

　In front of the faltering Emilia, the murmur spread all at once, and the attention of the numerous people in the room was focused on Emilia alone.

　--That was the image of the residents living in the ``Sanctuary.''

　The people who live in the Sanctuary other than Garfiel and Lewes.

　Emilia hadn't had more contact with them than necessary up until now, partly because her mental state hadn't allowed her to do so, and partly because they hadn't made any proactive efforts to contact her.

　As always, Emilia looked at those around her with a certain resignation.

　The residents disliked Emilia for who she was, but they also had high hopes for her role in liberating the Sanctuary, and above all, they had doubts about whether she was suitable to stand before them.

　So Emilia had thought that until she had achieved the result of liberating Sanctuary, it was impossible for them to appear in such large numbers.

　Emilia herself had no doubt that her conversations with them were the kind of thing that could only come to fruition if they produced results.

　So why are they gathered together like this now?

　And the gaze he directed towards Emilia――was one of strong expectation, not disgust.

"That was a nasty thing to say, though."

　In front of the confused Emilia, a girl from among the residents steps forward.

　The person with long pale pink hair is Ryuzu.

　As the village representative, she stepped forward to lead the residents and smiled at Emilia.

"Everyone here was hesitating. They were worried about what answer Emilia-sama would give to the 'Trial', and also... about what they would do with themselves after the 'Sanctuary' was liberated."

"...I suppose that can't be helped. But how does that relate to you being mean?"

"Well, it's a simple story. I told everyone at the Sanctuary about the fight between Garbo and Subo, and the argument between Lady Emilia and Rozbo... well, there were many other scenes as well. I'll tell you the details of those situations little by little..."

"Did you just talk?!"

　Seeing Lewes scratching her cheek as if it was difficult for her to speak, Emilia's cheeks turned red.

　Subaru and Garfiel's clash of wills was one thing, but the argument that followed between himself and Roswaal was also an imposition of immature opinions.

　Although I have decided that I won't be embarrassed if anyone overheard me, I would feel embarrassed if I found out later that someone had actually overheard me.

"But even if I told you...Lewes, where did you hear it?"

"Yes, that's it... I may not look like this, but I have incredibly poor hearing. Within this 'Sanctuary', it's almost impossible to keep secrets."

"Is that so? Amazing."

　Before getting angry, Emilia is impressed by Lewes' eavesdropping declaration.

　Not noticing that the young-looking old woman stuck out her tongue, Emilia nodded, as if to ascertain the reason why so many people had gathered there.

　And to that Emilia,

"Eh, Lady Emilia?"

"Y-Yes."

"It's like an arranged marriage meeting."

　One of the villagers - since he lived in the "Sanctuary", he was likely half demi-human.

　A man with slightly long canines and narrow pupils, about the same age as Roswaal, or perhaps a little older, stepped forward in front of Emilia, looking somewhat nervous.

"I... no, we, well... to be honest, we still haven't made up our minds."

"――――"

"I wonder if I can trust you, and what it means to know what lies outside of this 'Sanctuary'. To be honest, there's so much we don't know about the outside world, and it's frightening. We were all born and have lived here for so long. We don't know anything about the outside world."

　That is what Garfiel had also advocated, the nature of a place called a "Sanctuary."

　The barrier that has existed for 400 years has forced the people who live inside to live in the local customs for generations. If there was no way to get out, there may not have been any need to be aware of it.

　However, the means of getting outside was right in front of them, known to all, and it was about to be undone by Emilia, a woman with whom they had no connection.

　There are bound to be people who feel uneasy or resentful about this, and it would be extremely rare for anyone to be able to boldly venture out into the outside world.

　In her heart, Emilia feared that Garfiel's concerns were the consensus of the Sanctuary.

　And that fact was about to be proven by the words of the man before him.

"Even if I can receive Roswaal-sama's care outside, what will be different from here? To be honest, I'm more worried than excited. Change is frightening."

"...Yeah"

"But-"

　Emilia tucked her chin and was about to look down at his assertion, but the next words from the man stopped her in her tracks.

　The man stands upright, stretches his body, and continues, a tense look on his face.

"Garfiel... everyone heard that boy's voice."

"..."

"I learned what that hard worker was thinking, how he felt… I also learned about the black-haired man's reaction to that hard worker, and the subsequent exchanges between Roswaal-sama and Emilia-sama."

　The man straightened his back and his face contorted.

　His expression looked so frustrated and like he was about to burst into tears, and Emilia's heart sank.

"Honestly, I thought it was pathetic. Having a 14-year-old child worry about you so much, and having a child in his late twenties bark at you like that...and then I heard Emilia-sama's words, how she refused to budge even after Roswaal-sama told her she couldn't. That's why, Emilia-sama."

"--yes"

"Whatever the outcome, and whatever happens afterwards, I think your attitude in taking on this Trial is amazing. It's worthy of respect. Not everyone shares that sentiment, and I haven't fully accepted you yet either. So, please let me witness."

　There's no need to say what.

　Bathed in his determined gaze, Emilia looked behind the man - at the residents nodding in response to his representative stance, and tilted her chin back.

"I understand. I'll make sure this ends safely... and I'll listen to your story."

「Yes. I promise. Judging someone based on rumors without even meeting them… it's not something we should be doing. ――Wahha!」

　The man's shoulders slumped as Lewes suddenly grabbed him from behind.

　The jumping man turned around as if to protest, but Lewes just snorted.

"It's long and serious, you know. And partway through you changed back to "I" instead of "I". That's because you're not used to it."

"... I'm sorry."

"Anyway, our opinion remains as it is. Sorry for interfering."

　Through this heartwarming, everyday exchange, Ryuzu makes the stiff man calm down.

　Seeing this, Emilia took a deep breath, her chest swelling with oxygen and everything else.

　Thanks to Lewes's arrangement, the people of Sanctuary came to see Emilia off.

　That alone is how reassuring I feel right now.

"Thank you, Ryuzu-san. With this, I feel like I can do my best again."

"I see, I see. That's good then. The next one should be the final "Trial", right?"

"Yes, that's right. I plan on trying it right away."

　With the power she had received, Emilia turned around to face the tomb.

　However, halfway through, he seemed to have changed his mind and stopped, turning his head towards the crown.

"Oh, and... now that I think of it, Lewes, have you seen Ram? I want to let her know that the second Trial is over."

"…Ram, you have a small role to play here. However, you are only wishing Emilia-sama the best of luck. 'Emilia-sama is for Emilia-sama, and Ram is for Ram. Let's fulfill that role.'"

　Ram's typical way of speaking made Emilia almost give a wry smile, even though she knew it was just a message.

　Ram's role - where and with whom will he play it?

　There was a faint commotion in her chest, but Emilia consciously suppressed it.

　Ram believed in Emilia. And so, Emilia also believed in Ram.

　Just as Subaru and the others had paved the way for them, Emilia also wanted to pave the way for them to follow.

"I'm going."

　Lewes nodded at Emilia's words, and the murmurs of the residents gave her a push back.

　With even stronger resolve than the first time, and even stronger than the second time, Emilia stepped into the tomb.

　and--,

"Face the disaster that will come"

　The final "trial" comes...

※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※

　Ram could feel his heart beating faintly faster deep inside his chest.

　I have never experienced such hostility from someone right in front of me.

　To be able to interact with him, to talk to him, to be commanded by him.

　For Ram, all of these things were the ultimate happiness and the meaning of life.

　Therefore, even in the face of hostility, she feels the excitement of a young girl and takes delight in it.

"...I'm so glad you were able to show up here."

　A tall man in front of him muttered, glaring at Ram.

　Her trembling, beautiful voice sends a sweet tingling sensation through your brain.

　Just being subjected to those different gazes makes me feel like my body from the waist down is about to crumble.

　Of course, she would never show herself acting like such a weak woman.

　A woman like that will simply be cut off, not even being of any use as an arm or foot.

"So, what was your intention in coming here?"

"--It's simple."

　He responded to the question with his usual expressionless calm.

　Shaking her pink hair, Ram pulled out her wand from under the hem of her skirt and pointed it at the good-looking man before her――at her beloved master, pointing the tip of it.

"Due to the witch's delusion, I have come to take you away."

　He confessed his love to his beloved, who was consumed by his mad love, in order to burn him with his own love.