Re:Zero: The Path of Pride

The sun had begun to dip beneath the skyline of the city, and with it came a slow-spreading darkness that crept along the roads and rooftops. That is, until, almost like clockwork, the street lamps flicked to life one after another, casting warm halos of light across the cobblestones.

Even still, shadows lingered between buildings and under eaves. But surprisingly, they didn't bring with them the usual unease, no pangs of loneliness or isolation. 

Walking side by side with Reinhard down the still-active streets of the capital, I felt… grounded.

The world was still wildly unfamiliar. But I had a foundation now, Rein, my Authority, and, as of today, magic. I didn't feel overwhelmed anymore.

I just felt present.

Content.

As we turned onto one of the capital's rare canal paths, I caught the shift in city rhythm. Foot traffic was calming. Merchant stalls were shuttering for the night, and storefronts were closing one by one.

But the taverns and inns were all just waking up. 

"You've changed," Reinhard said, his tone casual, not probing.

I raised an eyebrow. "In what way? Better? Worse? I didn't shrink from using too much mana, did I?"

He gave a quiet chuckle. "You feel more relaxed. Less like someone thrown into a completely unknown place."

I thought about that for a second. Then shrugged.

"Yeah. I guess I'm starting to believe I actually exist here. That this is my new reality. It's… calming."

We walked a little farther in silence. The lamplight flickered against the water. Someone nearby was singing badly, but with heart.

"I'll begin adjusting your training," he said next, seamlessly shifting tone.

"You mean now that I'm a certified spell-slinger?"

'Damn, I never thought I would actually say something like that unironically.' 

"Precisely." Reinhard nodded once. "Magic demands a different kind of endurance, mana recovery, sustained focus under pressure. The more we work your gate, the more you'll be able to handle. We'll still train your body, of course, but now we'll balance that with your attributes."

I dragged a hand through my hair, sighing with theatrical exhaustion."Y'know, the way you're saying it… sounds like the next few weeks are going to make me regret ever finding out I had magic."

He let out another quiet laugh as we continued through the ever-darkening city.

We hit a major intersection, wide, gently sloping uphill toward the residential district. I was mid-step when it hit me.

The cold.

Not just air-on-skin cold. Not just winter breeze cold.

Bone-deep. Soul-wrapping. Wrong.

I stopped. Reinhard turned immediately, concern lighting up his eyes.

"Ethan?" he asked, stepping closer. "Are you alright?"

I tried to answer, but my teeth started violently chattering. My limbs shook. I stared into his eyes praying for a solution, until my knees buckled and he reached for me—

And then it hit.

'Huh?'

Nothing. 

Absolute darkness.

I wasn't falling.

Wasn't standing.

Wasn't breathing.

'Where—?'

I turned my head, or tried to. No muscles. No limbs. Just... thought.

And panic.

Pure, unfiltered panic.

'What the fuck is going on!?'

I triggered it on instinct.

Reason and Judgement.

Click

Time… froze?

Was time even a thing here? A valid concept that held any meaning? 

Everything around me was still, if there even was a "me" or an "around."

My thoughts quieted, but not all the way. Reason and Judgement dulled the fear, pressed it down to something distant. Manageable. Like a gun pressed to my temple, but with the safety on. For now.

'Ok, Ethan, calm down. Panicking will get us nowhere. Well, who knows where 'here' even is.' 

My gaze flittered about the abyss I had suddenly found myself in, and with the enhanced perception from Reason and Judgement, I finally saw something. 

Shadows. 

Endless purple shadows stretching across this black dimension. 

'Ok, it appears that we've landed ourselves in some sort of shadow dimension, that's good. It means we're somewhere, and not simply dead. Additionally, our Authority is still working, another sign we still live.'

The anxiety retreated a notch, but was nevertheless still present, considering I wasn't out of the dark just yet.

'Now then, what to do with that knowledge? I still live, I have Indomitable, which gives me some defense, and I have magic, judging by my current reserves, I can probably cast one big fuck off Goa, or a decent enough attempt at Jiwald... if I can even do that with no body.'

But to do any of that, I first needed the balls to resume time. During my little inventory check, I had been peering as best I could into the abyss, thankfully nothing had looked back just yet, but time was frozen so that truth remained to be fully seen. 

'Fuck man, FUCK! I don't see Rein anywhere in front of me, that's where he was in my vision before I was taken, unless he was displaced somewhere behind me, but that's under the assumption he was even taken in the first place. He looked completely fine, while I was shivering my ass off. He wasn't taken, was he?'

I ran through a couple hundred possible scenarios, but the truth was that I wasn't going anywhere, I had nothing concrete to stand on… ha ha. 

The anxiety was growing, my Authority ensured it currently didn't get too much worse, but I was far from comfortable in my mental fortress. 

'Ok, fuck it. I'll just resume time, and the very second I spot something, hit Reason and Judgement again.'

The tide of time resumed.

And with it came something else. 

The void didn't move, didn't ripple. But I could feel it, pressure, like a deep-sea weight bearing down on my chest. Suffocating.

No figures. No sound. Nothing to justify another freeze.

Then—

The shadows twitched.

They rippled like ink in water, converging at a single point in the distance, far off, then closer, then too close, reality folding in a way it absolutely shouldn't.

The first thing I saw was a hand.

A woman's hand. Pale as starlight. Beautiful in a wrong, unreal kind of way.

It reached out from the dark, fingers curling slightly, like it was trying to cradle something.

Or someone.

Then the rest of her followed, it, didn't walk, nor fly, it simply arrived. Like space made room for it.

A veil of shadows clung to her like a living dress, writhing across her form. Her face was partially hidden. Long, silver hair drifted behind her, moving like it was underwater.

Her presence?

Crushing.

Cold and endless. 

Like the moment before you drown and know it. 

The chilling understanding that death is bearing down on you, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

This was not a being you ever wished to gaze upon. 

I couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't—

Her hand rose, and I felt every thread of my being pulled taut.

Then the shadows surged, grabbing, gripping, snaring my limbs and choking my breath even though I had no body.

I could feel her emotions through them:

Fury.

Sorrow.

Grief.

And then it spoke. 

A whisper. 

A sentence like a blade to my temple. 

"You were supposed to help him."

"You were supposed to help him."

"You were supposed to help him."

"You were supposed to help him."

The thing mumbled on and on. 

No name. 

No context. 

If it wasn't for the complete and utter fear strangling me, I would have remembered to use my Authority. 

But in the face of this being? 

Everything felt useless. 

Hopeless. 

Whatever this thing was, it accused me of inaction. 

I could tell right then, the moment it finally stopped rambling and its gaze met mine, it was also to be my judge, jury, and executioner. 

The shadows pulled tighter. I felt my chest crack from pressure I wasn't even supposed to have.

I screamed, or thought I did.

Then—

Snap.

Light was filtering through my closed eyes, but my mind was still playing catch-up. 

Finally, I gathered enough mental faculties to see. 

It was midday.

The crowds flowed around me as I looked around in a lost stupor. Finally, I registered that I was actually being gently pulled to the side of the road by none other than Reinhard. 

He kept glancing back at my slack-jawed face with clear confusion and worry. 

Taking me under the shade of a nearby empty stall, he finally turned fully to face me, "Ethan, are you alright? You suddenly stopped walking, and now you look to be in pain."

I finally closed my jaw and let my eyes roam. Rein looked fine, the people walking by looked fine… but it was midday? Had I passed out standing up for an entire night? Was that just a nightmare? I feel like Rein would be more worried if that were the case, and he probably would have just carried me back to the Estate at that point. 

"Rein… why is it noon? I swear we were just walking home for dinner…"

My friend tilted his head in further confusion, "We were going to see the market near the center of the capital, remember? After breakfast, I said today was perfect for visiting the market. I wanted to show you around, my day off and all. Are you alright? You look confused—"

'What.' 

My stomach plummeted like I'd been shoved off a cliff. My fists curled so tight I felt the skin strain, moments from splitting open.

I seized one of the stars in my soul like a lifeline, a single flicker of hope I needed to be wrong.

Reason and Judgement.

Click

The world locked in place. Reinhard's mouth froze mid-word. Time bent beneath my will, and the moment fractured.

I scanned it all with the eyes of a god, desperately trying to disprove a nightmare.

Frozen snapshots flickered through my mind: echoes of this exact street, this exact scene. I reached back through the past with Reason and Judgement, dragging each memory into perfect focus.

Every detail I'd brushed past, the clouds overhead, the footfalls around us, the idle chatter, now sliced through my mind like glass.

I ripped through the scenes, fixated, relentless, hunting for even one thing that didn't fit.

But it all fit.

The same vendor handing the same parcel to the same towering demi-human mercenary. The same woman muttering about rising gang tensions in the slums. The same child tripping over the same cobblestone crack.

My thoughts stopped.

Not out of confusion.

Out of certainty.

I had gone back in time.

And everything I'd built — every conversation, every bond, every inch of progress — had been ripped away.

The fear. The disorientation. All of it drowned under a tidal wave of white-hot Wrath.

'No…no…NO! That THING stole my fucking TIME!?'

If I could move in that frozen moment, I would be tearing out my hair in sheer, blinding anger. I had never felt more enraged, more completely insulted, to have taken away something so precious to me as my time and relationships. 

'How DARE, that THING, steal from ME!' 

My Authority detonated, what had first been a blazing fire was now a screaming star. Eager to burn any who dared draw near. 

Pride and arrogance bubbled up like poison, clouding every thought. I raged in silence, my mind cracking under the weight.

'WHO does that THING think it is to take MY time from ME! TO DEMAND that I serve IT in any capacity!?' 

I wanted to scream. Let loose an overcharged Goa into the nearest building just to see it burn. 

My Authority, so reliable at dulling emotional extremes, had completely checked out. 

No. 

It was basking in my HATE. 

'Fine… you want me to save your little friend? You fucking monster. Yeah? The one you never told me anything about? You cosmic retard? The only thing you gave me was that they were MALE! That narrows it down to about half the population, you PSYCHO!' 

'Calm, Ethan. Deep fucking breaths. We'll get through this. Help whoever the dumbass is, and get our life back where we can spend our time working hard in this new fantasy world of ours.'

Now feeling a little calmer, with the storm of wrath and hate chilling down to cold anger, I could finally get together a plan that didn't involve me screaming like a maniac.

I stood there and stared at the frozen midday sky as I got a timeline of events together. 

'Okay. Step one, we get Rein. We tell him what happened. He trusts us. He'll believe it. Step two, we get the guards to that street and stop the possible murder before it starts. Step three, we unravel this whole insane mess.'

I nodded mentally, heart ironclad, and stepped out of that frozen moment.

Time resumed its flow. The river of fate carried me forward.

"—should I get help?" Reinhard finally finished the sentence he'd been midway through.

My face was locked in a mask of fury, anger so raw it probably looked like it was aimed at him. And judging by the sad look on Rein's, he likely thought he was the cause.

I shook my head and allowed my face to become more neutral before he could misunderstand, "Silly, you didn't do anything wrong. But something is wrong. Very fucking wrong."

Some of the tension left his face, but the concern remained. "What do you mean?"

"I've gone back in ti—"

The world froze. 

I hadn't been the one to trigger it. 

'Fuck.' 

The world darkened, still visible compared to the shadowy hell I'd been taken to prior, but shadows were creeping in. Heading directly for me. Tendrils shaped into crude, sharpened hands.

'Is that thing really gonna kill me for speaking out about it!?'

The hands began crawling up my legs, like disgusting, freezing-cold snakes. 

I triggered Indomitable. My body surged, gained weight, presence. I could feel the heat from my Authority flaring up like a bonfire against the darkness, but the fuel could only last so long.

The shadows recoiled at first. Then they returned. Climbing again. Unstoppable.

And then, into me.

PAIN.

Both physical and spiritual. My heart was being torn open, put back together, then shredded again. A rhythm of agony designed to break me.

My thoughts cracked like glass beneath a hammer.

It was punishment. A warning.

The thing was torturing me, forcing me into silence.

But I clenched my teeth through the scream I couldn't voice.

'I. Will. Not. Yield.'

My Authority blazed brighter. It answered me. Brighter. Hotter. Fiercer.

I would not bend.

I would not break.

I would not be silenced.

The moment collapsed.

Time began again.

I stood there. Eyes dulled from the sheer psychological weight of my experience.

My body involuntarily shaking from the pain mentally inflicted upon it. 

I stepped inwards. 

A need for respite. 

Reason and Judgement burned as I grasped it.

Click

Time froze under my command. 

Here, I was in control. 

I stayed there in that moment for an indeterminate amount of time. 

Simply staring at the frozen crowd ahead of me, the merchants hawking wares, my friend standing by, that same noble boy and his guard, the corrupt priest, the merchant giving a distracted boy a bruised appa. 

The clouds that had been gently rolling by. 

It was all the same. 

But it was also peaceful. 

Just what I needed. 

Just what I wanted. 

While time would wait for me for as long as I desired, nothing would change if I didn't get moving. 

I let out a long internal sigh.

Then let time slip from my grasp once more. 

I fixed my face from the mask of agony it was portraying to something hopefully more neutral. Reinhard looked like he was about to just lift me up and take me home. 

"You went back in…? You stopped talking, Ethan."

It wanted me to suffer alone and in silence?

'Fuck that.'

Pride burned stronger in response to my continued defiance.

That thing can try to torture me all it wants, but I was never the type to suffer in silence. Never the type to face hell alone.

I forced a breath, then spoke evenly. "Let me tell you a story, my friend. It's all purely... fictional."

I raised my fingers in air quotes, slow and deliberate. "Fictional."

"Imagine a man who walks into town with his friend. Very much like you and I. They explore the town together, one friend leading the other around, and they have a great time. One friend is a knight of the realm, the other friend, new to this city, finds himself desiring to join his friend in such a pursuit. Together they go on to do many things that day, relax and see the sights, prevent a murder, and help the new friend learn of his magic potential. Then, when they're walking home for the night, mind you, this is all very much a "story," the new friend suddenly finds himself…"

I paused. Fear made me halt. It hadn't been triggered yet. 

'What was the condition? I sarcastically tried to make this all sound like some story, but I mean, is that thing so easily fooled?'

"Standing in the middle of the road like the entire events of the day never happened…"

Reinhard's eyes locked onto mine. Confusion. Then realization. "Can you not directly tell me—"

The world froze.

My sight vanished. I was in the void of shadows once more. 

'I wanna fucking die. Are you kidding me? Are you baiting me with this shit? You let me go all the way through that just to finally fucking hit me in the end?'

She arrived.

Shadows folding space in wrong, twitching spirals.

A flicker. Then her silhouette. Pale hand. Long silver hair.

Fear punched into my soul.

But the rage was louder this time. My Authority once more flared up in my soul. Resisting the encroaching, all-encompassing darkness as best it could. The wrath I felt continued to fuel it, and in a strange feedback loop, the fear was overcome.

"You were supposed to help him."

"You were supposed to help him."

"You were supposed to help him."

"You were supposed to help him."

'How the fuck can I help this person, if they're fucking beyond help, not even ten minutes from when you send me back!?' 

'You absolute bitch! Fuck you! Fuck the person you want me to help! Give me something, ANYTHING, besides your broken radio-ass sentence! Or better yet, leave me the fuck alone!'

"You were supposed to help him."

"You were supposed to help him."

'Jesus CHRIST, you're useless. Fuck it. Get it over with and fucking send me back already.' 

The shadows surged in response.

They coiled tighter around my chest, threading through my ribs like barbed wire, dragging hooks of agony into places no one should feel pain. My lungs seized. My thoughts sputtered.

She stepped forward.

I couldn't see her full face, but I felt her eyes.

A single touch. One hand, soft and pale, pressed against my chest.

And it felt like she reached in and ripped my soul out.

My mouth opened in a soundless scream as white-hot pain exploded outward, tearing across every nerve, every memory, every truth of my being. There was no body to scream from. No breath to hold. No ground to fall toward.

Then—

Snap.

Light.

Air.

Sound.

And the world began again.