Chumbler Shards #11: “A Certain Gamblical Chumbler” (Part 2)
Deciding that a minivan in a can would be too loud, and would be hard to steal, Chumbler and Z.O.K. decided to head off on their mission on foot. They were pretty far from the rest of the classes now as they trudged along the edges of the field of flowers. Chumbler whistled as though she didn't have a care in the world.
“What were we doing again?” Chumbler asked.
“Looking for that rare coin machine or something?” Z.O.K. responded. “This is your plan, moron. How’d you forget already?”
“Hey, eat gelatinous bricks and then have a hard time digesting them!” Chumbler said. “I do my best. Sometimes it’s hard to remember things when—"
“’When all my brain capacity is focused on gambling,’ yeah I remember that catchphrase.” Z.O.K. said. "And you know I have a hard time digesting gelatin and am sensitive about that, don't be a jerk!"
"Fine, whatever," Chumbler said. “But you are right, we need to get moving on finding that capsule machine.” Chumbler looked around.
“Do you seriously not have any idea how to get to this thing?” Z.O.K. asked.
“I do,” Chumbler said. “But I don’t want to show off.”
“Uh huh.”
Chumbler pointed at Z.O.K.. “Use your Kanibari nose to sniff the way.”
“You think Kanibari can just sniff stuff out like that?” Z.O.K. asked.
“Well, yeah,” Chumbler said. “The cooler kinds of Kanibari at least. What kind are you anyways? Like a wolf? A lil doggy?”
“Wow.”
“Sorry? Did I say something wrong there?”
“Wow.”
“Now what?”
“I’m just shocked you actually apologized for something.” Z.O.K. stopped in her tracks. “Wait.”
“What’s wrong, is there gambling afoot?” Chumbler asked. “Did you smell the way to the capsule machine with your heightened Kanibari sense of smell from that fuzzy nose of yours?”
“Didn’t you say this thing was in the void node we’re going to?” Z.O.K. asked.
Chumbler scratched her head. “Uh…”
“Not the one we’re in?” Z.O.K. asked. “So now that the rest of the class probably all just took off, are we just pointlessly wandering away from them?”
Chumbler laughed nervously. “Well, I figured you know, like someone would show up and take us to the capsule void node.”
“What are you even talking about?” Z.O.K. asked.
“Look!” Chumbler yelled suddenly.
Z.O.K. turned to see a big ugly monster just kind of standing there next to a pedestal with a bowl on it. It had deep blue horns that looked like the special rosin they scraped their fangs on to get into the void.
“I hate to say it, but I think this is a sign we’re on the right path.” Z.O.K. said. “I think that’s a void gate troll.”
“See, I knew it. Void gate troll.” Chumbler said.
“You did not.”
“You can’t prove it either way, so. Points to Chumbler.”
“So what do we do with it?” Z.O.K. asked as the void troll gate picked its nose.
“Ohohoho,” Chumbler chuckled. “I’ve been practicing something for just this very occasion.”
“And what would that be?” Z.O.K. asked.
“All Cani have at least a miniscule amount of shapeshifting ability.” Chumbler said. “Something I’m sure you’re aware of, given all those ‘romantic’ Cani shapeshifter books you read.”
“Stop looking under my bed!” Z.O.K. said.
“Don’t keep your secret books there then!" Chumbler said. "You think you would have figured that out after the first time I found them. But anyways, observe, my dutiful companion!”
Chumbler suddenly vanished in a poof of lilac smoke. When it cleared, a tall, voluptuous woman in an incredibly skimpy outfit now stood before her.
“I uh.” Z.O.K. said, glad her fur covered up her blushing, but less glad she couldn’t look away from the woman’s various curves barely covered by slim pieces of fabric. “H-hey there…”
The woman laughed, a horrible, snort filled laugh that could only come from one person.
“Chumbler?” Z.O.K. asked. “Is that you?”
“Indeed, it is I, Chumbler, the big money Cani!” Chumbler said, her fangs somehow glimmering in the sunlight. “All aspiring Cani and Kanibari legends know that sexy form is required for making an impact. And Exa Cani too I guess, I did see a pretty attractive Exa form of one online recently.”
“I…what? Not that I necessarily…ahem, mind this…mode that…that I'm sure will definitely…help…this mode, that is...” Z.O.K. trailed off as she chewed on one of her claws. Chumbler smacked her lightly on the top of her head.
“This FORM, you dingus. This sexy form!” Chumbler said.
“Did you shapeshift your clothes, too?” Z.O.K. asked.
“I got these online,” Chumbler said, gesturing to her mini skirt, high heeled boots, and what apparently constituted as a top somehow. She pointed at a pile of clothes nearby. “I was wearing them under my regular clothes. Well, not the shoes, I put them on really quick."
"How are you...keeping everything contained there?" Z.O.K. asked gesturing to the few pieces of clothing.
"Very carefully," Chumbler said. "I did a lot of practice to make sure this all stays where it should. Any more questions?"
Z.O.K. continued to stare at Chumbler.
“Good, now let me seduce this void gate troll already.”
Chumbler started shaking her hips and jumping around. It was pretty awkward.
“How are you feeling, void gate troll? Are you seduced by my sexy form?” Chumbler asked.
The troll shrugged.
“Dang,” Chumbler said. “I gotta work on my sexy form, apparently.”
“I don’t know, I think it’s actually pretty…pretty great.” Z.O.K. said.
“Well this troll doesn’t think so,” Chumbler said. “What do you want, some money? What do void gate trolls want, if not Chumbler’s sexy form?”
The troll shrugged again, then did a gesture that seemed to be asking for money.
“You heard the troll,” Chumbler said. “He wants cold, hard cash. So pay up.”
Z.O.K. shook her head, broken out of her trance of staring at Chumbler. “Why do I have to pay him?”
“Because I need to save every cent for this freaking rare magic capsule machine!” Chumbler said.
Z.O.K. sighed and got out her wallet. “What, like five bucks sound good?”
The troll did a “ehhh” gesture with their hands.
“More? Like ten? Twenty?”
Twenty seemed to be the sweet spot as the troll took Z.O.K.’s cash and pocketed it.
Chumbler held up the capsule article in the magazine to the troll, who sniffed for a second, then nodded. They plucked one of their horns off and handed it to Chumbler as another one grew in its place.
“Ew,” Z.O.K. said. “Is that where gate rosin comes from?”
“I don’t know,” Chumbler said. “But we have our way to the capsule node!”
“Good work, Z.O.K.,” Z.O.K. said. “Thank you for paying your hard-earned money to the troll.”
Chumbler ignored her, gathered her clothes, and poofed out of her sexy form, returning to her gremlin self.
“Good thing you learned that form,” Z.O.K. said. “I bet that’ll come in handy a lot here, you think? If you ever want to practice around me, I wouldn't mind...”
“You know what I think?” Chumbler asked as she buttoned her shirt back on.
“What’s that?”
“I’m just thinking that it’s interesting how void gate trolls can sniff to find things,” Chumbler said. “While others can’t.”
“Shut up and just go through the stupid gate already.” Z.O.K. said.