“The New Kilander” (16.4)
Despite giving us the signal, we were blocked by security when we tried to save Oka from her latest Kilander family major life change. Oka stood near the attending Kilanders for as long as she had to before zipping back to us. Kalei had already filled a plate of food and was eating as Oka stared over at 09, who was chatting with Penteldtam in front of the camera. Mr. Soleri had shown up too, as Penteldtam had scheduled a ‘principals’ roundtable discussion stream’ that would be shown to anyone at the school who’d be interested in whatever a ‘principals’ roundtable discussion stream’ was.
“So the clybrid android Cani Rex Steel is your cousin now,” Kalei said, taking a big bite of crackers and cheese.
“You shouldn’t eat right before we get in the pool,” I said. “Wait until after we swim.”
“I’m hungry now, though.” Kalei said. “Saying stuff like that makes me think more about pushing you in the pool, Zates.”
“No, don’t!” I said. “Fine, eat all you want. Don’t be mad at me when you get cramps later and ask us to squeeze you like you always do when you get all bloated.”
“Pfft, that’s not gonna happen,” Kalei said, taking a bite of cake.
“Anyways, yeah, Oka, how are you feeling about this?” I asked.
“I don’t know, actually,” Oka said, still staring at 09. “I don’t feel bad, or anything. It’s just weird. I still haven’t processed that I’m not stuck on Tesata anymore, or that I have an actual family. And now I have a new cousin. Who’s an android. Or a clybrid. Or something. It’s weird.”
“Oka’s about to fall into a ‘describe everything as weird’ hole again.” Kalei said.
“Shut up.” Oka said.
“I guess that means 09 is going to be at school sooner then?” I asked.
“Apparently,” Oka said. “Ah, man, they’re coming this way. Can we dive in the pool quick?”
“Too late,” Kalei said. Principal Penteldtam came over waving to us.
“So, new daughter, now that all that press stuff is done you can have fun! That rhymed.” Penteldtam said. “But if I get interviewed or something about my not-princpaling, I’m going to get you!”
“Understandable,” 09 said, turning a chair around before she sat down. “Howdy folks!”
“Hi 09,” I said. “So, a Kilander now huh?”
“Yeppers,” 09 said. “So, what are you three up to?”
“We were gonna jump in the pool,” Kalei said. “Would water make you like get electrocuted?”
“It wouldn’t,” 09 said. “As I’ve said to you before, I’m like 99.999999% the same as you.”
“Well, let’s jump in then!” Kalei said.
“Shouldn’t she probably get a swimsuit first?” Oka asked.
“Good point,” 09 said.
“They’re in that roo—“ Oka started.
“They’re in the laundry pile room, right?” 09 asked. “I’ll be right back!”
Oka and I followed Kalei to the pool. It was getting pretty chilly sitting out in the fall weather, so a heated pool sounded nice. I let Kalei jump in first because she kept saying how she was gonna push me in. As soon as I dipped my toes in the water, it felt like I had somehow arrived at an incredible spa resort. The water was the perfect temperature against the almost frigid air. I just wanted to float and forget about the world for a bit. I tried to at least before Kalei splashed me in the face.
“You better not dunk me,” I said as I splashed her back.
It was kind of weird to be the only ones in a huge pool while everyone else at the party was chatting, but at least they weren’t paying attention to us. I got a bit worried about the lack of lifeguards present, but Oka told me all the security at this also had lifeguard training.
09 joined us, wearing one of the swimsuits I hadn’t picked. I had scarcely known about clybrid Cani before I met her. So like her face, it was strange to see her body, with the same pale skin and butterfly like patterns on her back and near her collarbones. She jumped into the water with a cannonball. As she swam towards us, I couldn’t help but notice that 09 was decidedly more…endowed than me, to put it mildly.
“Geez 09, back hurt much?” Kalei asked, earning another splash from me. “What? I’m genuinely curious!”
“How come?” 09 asked. “Oh, these?” She grabbed her chest and I reflexively put my hands up like blinders. “Nah, I have a back roller I use for workouts that keeps me pretty good despite the front weight.”
“Inappropriate.” I said as Kalei laughed.
“Zeta’s a bit of a prude,” Kalei said. “Or she’s jealous.”
I splashed Kalei again.
“Knock it off,” Kalei said, splashing me back. “Dude, 09, I’m surprised you’re this cool. I wasn’t sure with the whole clybrid thing.”
“You weren’t sure I’d be cool because I’m a clybrid?” 09 asked.
“When you say that it makes me sound like an extra bad person.” Kalei said.
“You didn’t think 09 was cool after her saving me when Ovie…you know? Did all that?” I asked.
“Well, that was cool obviously, but I worried she might be like another Oka or something.”
“Another Oka?” I asked. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know, all responsible and junk.” Kalei said.
“Since when is Oka like that?” I asked. “And now you got me thinking about double Okas…and…”
“I’m still not even sure what a clybrid is,” Oka said, interrupting my unfortunately out loud fantasy of two Okas holding each of my hands. “Sorry.”
Suddenly, my wristband power blocker lit up with a projection. It was a bit hard to look at as I waded in the water, so I moved to the pool wall to keep my arm still. A video popped up on it, from that stupid company that makes all the Cani videos. I saw that surfer guy Thadley wander out into frame as a big title saying, “SO. YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT A CLYBRID IS HUH?” This video looked newer than the ones I watched, which made sense since clybrids were pretty new. That said, Thadley didn’t seem to have aged at all between the old videos and this.
“So like, you wanna like, uh,” Thadley said before the camera cut away. “Clybrids are uh, a new and exciting change for Cani-kind.”
From there, Thadley was poorly dubbed over with a voice that wasn’t even trying to imitate him as he apparently couldn’t get even the most basic dialogue right.
“A clybrid Cani is a combination of synthesized organics and state of the art cloning technologies, resulting in a being that is much like us, but different. Sound familiar? Yes, clybrid Cani have all the abilities and strangeness a Cani has, albeit in a more controlled growth environment. No random tail growth here!”
The video closed. “I could have gone without that tail dig.” I said.
“I mean, I could have told you all that.” 09 said.
“I didn’t mean to bring it up!” I said. “It acts on its own sometimes…”
“Well, it was pretty much accurate, so I guess it works out.” 09 said.
“I’m glad this stupid thing’s kind of working at least,” I said. “I’d hate to see what happens if I accidentally burst off a lightning thing here.”
“It actually wouldn’t affect us,” 09 said. “Any electrical Cani power isn’t as conductive here as it is there. But if we were in a void pool and you lit up, boom, all dead.”
“That’d be so cool,” Kalei said.
“What, dying violently from Zeta’s powers going off?” Oka asked.
“Not the dying part, but the electric explosion would be so cool,” Kalei said. “Hey, who wants to race? From this end of the pool and back.”
“You’ll win, I’m not gonna bother,” I said.
“Fine, you be the judge and wait there. Oka, 09, you in?”
I somehow ended up the official judge for a pool race. The first round ended with Kalei and 09 being too close to call, with Oka behind them, leading to a rematch between Kalei and 09 that Oka had to help me judge because Kalei said my swim race judging wasn’t good enough for the kind of performance she and 09 were bringing.
“I think that’s enough racing for now.” Oka said after Kalei and 09 decided they wanted to race a third time.
“I saw a hot tub on the other side of the pool,” Kalei said. “So I say we do that next because those races kind of wore me out.”
09 and Kalei then decided to race each other out of the pool. Oka sighed as the two blocked each other on one of the ladders.
“If one of them gets hurt I’m not taking the heat for it,” Oka said as she swam past them, climbing up to the side of the pool. I followed her lead, climbing out that way instead of taking a ladder. I stepped onto a smooth ridge that ran around the pool, but it was more slippery than it looked, and my foot shot back towards the water. For a split second it looked like I was about to land face first on the ridge, probably needing extensive dental surgery from all my teeth getting knocked out. But then I felt someone grab me by my waist. 09 hefted me out of the water like I weighed nothing.
“Close one!” 09 said.
“Second time you saved me,” I said.
“Wait, I missed it,” Oka said. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, just a slip, don’t worry!” I said. “Thanks to 09, I’m just fine.”
“Oh,” Oka said quietly.
“No problem!” 09 said. “Now if only you could convince Kalei that I won the get out of the pool first race…”
“I totally won,” Kalei said, holding her stomach. “I would have saved you too, Zeta but I was…”
“You were what, busy getting all bloated from eating too fast then swimming right after?” I asked, shivering after leaving the nice warm water for the coldness outside it.
Kalei held her stomach. “…no…why would I be…”