“The Other Cani” (15.4)
“Oh crap,” I said, getting out my phone.
“What are you doing?” Oka asked.
“Looking up side effects of being a Cani near a clybrid android on 3WMB,” I said. “They don’t have an article yet, though.”
“They’re probably not radioactive,” Oka said, once again making a valiant effort to douse my anxiety. “At least, I don’t think so. Right, er…what is your name, actually?”
“I was designated Cani Clone Hybrid Android Model 78-T-67.22tfi.i845b782-2-2 Stereo Power 455 3 09.”
“OK, let’s call you 09.”
“Luckily, Aira and Laenie already came up with that!”
“Aw, I wanted to name her,” Kalei said.
“What did you want to name me?" 09 asked. "You could give me my first nickname, if you want."
“I was thinking like Rex Steel or Chunky.” Kalei said.
“…I’m going to stick with 09.”
“Aw.” Kalei said.
“And I already know all of your names,” 09 said.
“How do you know that?” Amara asked.
“I scanned your wristbands.” 09 said. “They contained all the necessary information to connect me to various sources, including social media websites. Zeta Faleur, for instance, spends a great amount of time on a fan page for celebrity Raina Starlight’s thighs.”
“Well, I mean you don’t have to say that part out loud or anything!” I said. “And that’s…probably not even accurate, or even if it was it’d be a big violation of my privacy.”
“We all remember the post you accidentally shared,” Kalei said. "She probably didn't have to dig that deep to find that."
“I believe I said we’d never speak of that again,” I said, getting a supportive shoulder pat from Oka I probably didn’t deserve.
“And you, Amara Allegro, tried to make a fan page for Rain Adagio’s thighs, and other parts, but were banned from the social media sites you attempted to post it on.”
“Who does this android think she is…?” Amara said. “They weren’t going to be public pages; they were just for me. And…KJ, since she saw me making it.”
“You guys could start a like fan club for people who are weird superfans of people with “rain” in their name.” Kalei said.
“That would have been good when we needed a club idea.” Amara said.
“So wait,” Oka said. “Why did Aira and Laenie want us to ‘guard’ you, exactly? Are you in danger?”
“Not danger, exactly,” 09 said. “But I need to stay here for a bit longer. You know like if you miss a lot of sleep and need a lot of naps to catch up? I’m kinda going through that. The clybrid equivalent of that.”
“Sorry for waking you,” I said.
“Oh no, don’t worry!” 09 said. “I’m glad to stretch my legs. And to meet you all!”
“So the pod like…charges you?” Kalei asked.
“Yes, it’s designed for clybrid recharging pretty much,” 09 said. “But the pod gets pretty warm so it needs to be underground so people near it don’t get burned when its most heated. Luckily you four and Aira and Laenie didn’t cause the pod to rise at a heated time or you would have been scorched.”
“Zeta, remember, that didn’t happen,” Oka said, sensing my train of thought before it had fully left the station. “We’re fine and we didn’t get burned!”
“R-right.” I said.
“I’d ask how that thing recharges you, and also put out some kind of declarative statement about that 99.999999% similar to us thing isn’t entirely accurate.” Kalei said.
“Oh it is, that .000001% can change a lot.” 09 said.
“So wait, are you just gonna live here in the beach then?” Kalei asked. “Do you have a family or something? Like a clybrid android family? Or like did someone order you for their family?"
“Not ordered, what I went through is pretty similar to the adoption process.”
“Oh,” Oka said. “I’m adopted too!”
Oka suddenly twirled in place and put a hand on her collarbone.
“I…could have…a baby siiiister….” Oka started singing and dancing. “She…would be like…all the songs I’ve heard…I could ask Zeta…for sister tips! If I…only had a clybrid…sister…”
“You just sang that all out loud.” Kalei said as I was torn between finding that hilarious and finding it beyond adorable. “And you don’t think you’re a theater kid.”
“I don’t know what a theater kid is!” Oka said.
As soon as Oka said the word “is,” I heard a weird but unfortunately familiar “BWOMP” sound.
Everyone was suddenly frozen, the whole world cast in a grayish light like a low budget TV show’s color correction. Looking down, I could see that I was still in full color. I could still move as well, and I walked forward cautiously, assuming I had just fallen into the void or something again.
“Hello, Zeta Manure.”
Ovie stood behind me, holding two bloodsabers. She stood in front of her stupid minivan in a can thing, which looked more like a golf cart. I had grown to hate that “BWOMP” sound on its own, but this situation was different with everyone weirdly frozen.
“Not this again, Ovie.” I said. “You’re not here to hurt 09, are you?”
“I have no idea what that thing is, and I don’t care.” Ovie said. “I just saw that you were far out and wanted to show you my new trick.”
“That wouldn’t be freezing everyone but me, would it?”
Ovie smirked.
“My Cani gift,” Ovie said. “I can put whoever I want in stasis for thirty minutes.”
“Can we just get this over with?” I asked. “I’m already in trouble probably from the last time you tried some stupid stuff with me.”
“You’re the second person to know about my gift,” Ovie said. “You know who the first is. And she’s why I’m here.”
My stomach lurched at the thought of Jeans. Ovie took two bloodsabers out of her minivan in a can and tossed one in the sand in front of me. The blade hitting the sand kicked sand up at me, but the sand froze in place.
“Take it,” Ovie said. “I’m going to explain everything to you, and then we’re going to fight. It’s not complicated.”
“This is my bloodsaber,” I said.
“Yes,” Ovie said. “I want it to be yours this time.”
I took my bloodsaber out of the sand and held it. It didn’t feel right having it outside of the void. Minty deserved better than this stupid fight.
“I don’t want to fight you,” I said. “I just want to move on. Just be happy with Jeans. Forget about me, please?”
“Don’t tell me what to do!” Ovie yelled, making me flinch. “You don’t get to tell me what to do after what you did to me!”
“What did I do?” I asked.
Ovie scoffed, walking around me like she was a predator and I was prey.
“You insult me by the idea that you don’t know,” Ovie said.
“I don’t know! Right after I met you, you started talking to me like this all the time! What did I do to you!”
Ovie got quiet. Her lip quivered.
“For two years, you took her from me.” Ovie said.
“Wait...what?” I said. A puzzle piece was slowly clicking with another in my head, but it wasn’t possible.
Ovie gripped her bloodsaber tighter. Desperation was in her eyes as they met mine.
“You seduced her and ran around with her behind my back.”
My mind raced, but the puzzle pieces still weren’t clicking together.
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“How dense are you?” Ovie seethed. “Jeans and I have been dating this whole time. Since before you even met her.”
Then my stomach fully dropped, a phase beyond a normal stomach drop. I thought I’d faint right there. My head was clenched, my heart was pounding, I felt faint. The puzzle pieces were together, but I didn’t want to believe the picture formed by it.