Rizz Taoist Master [A Reverend Insanity Fanfiction]

Fang Yuan nodded, giving off major "yes, and?" energy. Right then, the alpha walked in, like he was making his grand entrance. Fang Yuan and the other dude stood up, turning to greet him, giving off that "respectful players" vibe.

Seeing Fang Yuan, the elder's face lit up, giving off that "proud dad" energy. He strolled over, patting Fang Yuan's shoulder, like he was giving him a participation trophy. "You absolutely crushed it, Gooner Yue Fang Zheng, you didn't disappoint! You're the real A-tier MVP! Those B and C-tier noobs can't even touch your skill level, no matter how hard they grind. LOL."

Fang Yuan and Fang Zheng were twin clones, like a character customization glitch. Even the elder got bamboozled.

Fang Yuan remained unfazed, like he was reading a script. He took a tiny step back, freeing his shoulder from the alpha's grip, giving off that "personal space" vibe. He stared at the alpha, hands behind his back, giving off that "I'm about to drop some truth bombs" energy. Then, he hit him with the plot twist, a faint smile spreading across his face. "Sir alpha, you've been mistaken, you're getting cooked right now. I'm Gooner Yue Fang Yuan. Gu Yue Fang Zheng is my little bro."

"Wait, WHAT?" The alpha's jaw dropped, giving off major "buffering" energy. He stared at Fang Yuan, his brow furrowing into a question mark, like he was trying to solve a puzzle. After a few seconds of mental lag, he finally managed to say, "You're… Gooner Yue Fang Yuan? Are you fr right now?"

"Correct, sir," Fang Yuan replied, giving off that "I'm not playing games" energy.

"Wait, you actually rizzed up the Moonlight Gu?" The alpha was straight-up shook, staring at the crescent mark on Fang Yuan's forehead, like he was trying to scan a QR code. His eyes were glowing, asking a question he already knew the answer to, giving off major "are you serious?" vibes.

"Yup," Fang Yuan replied, like he was confirming a Discord ping.

"Then, you're the first to clutch it this year?" The alpha asked, even though he knew the answer, because, let's be real, this whole situation was giving off major "glitch in the simulation" energy.

He'd been running this academy for decades, seen C-tier players tryhard, but never this early, especially with A and B-tier speedrunners in the mix.

"If no one beat my time..." Fang Yuan pretended to lag, then rubbed his nose, like he was trying to remember a forgotten password. "Then, I guess I'm the top grinder."

The academy alpha: "....." [loading wheel spinning in his head]

Scene Transmission!

The sky was still rocking that night mode aesthetic, dawn was just hitting "load." The morning air was giving off that "dewy forest" vibe, but Gooner Yue Fang Zheng was running on pure hype fuel. His face was flushed, like he'd just finished a marathon speedrun, as he booked it towards the academy.

"I've been grinding these past few days, burning through two skibidi stones like they were energy drinks. Pulled an all-nighter, but I finally rizzed up the Moonlight Gu. I'm A-tier, and I've been putting in the work. No one's beating my time, period! Mom and Dad, I told you I wouldn't let you down!"

He remembered flexing his accomplishment to his aunt and uncle, their happiness hitting him with that dopamine rush.

He hadn't figured out the secret of the Touching Grass Gu yet, but he didn't care about touching grass right now. He was flying through the clouds in his heart, touching grass was the last thing that was on his mind. 

"Just wait, all you haters who slept on me, including big bro. From today, you'll be simping for Gooner Yue Fang Zheng!"

He clenched his fists, his pace going full sprint.

He reached the academy entrance, ready to drop the mic.

The guards looked at him like he was a glitch in the system. "Umm, Gooner Yue Fang Yuan, why are you back so soon? Did you forget something?"

"Wait, big bro was just here? Like, just now?" Fang Zheng was shook, his face doing the confused Pikachu face meme.

"Nah, whatever!" He never saw Fang Yuan speedrunning this quest and clutching a W. He shook his head, then gave them the formal hand gesture, a hint of that "main character" arrogance in his voice. "Yo, bois, I'm not Gooner Yue Fang Yuan, I'm Gooner Yue Fang Zheng. I've crafted my vital Gu, and I'm here to claim that #1 spot, no cap."

"You're Fang Zheng? You two are straight-up clones, no wonder the alpha got his wires crossed," the left guard exclaimed, eyes wide, like he'd just seen a ghost. The right guard shook his head, giving off major "too late, bro" vibes. "You're a bit late to the party. Your brother, Gooner Yue Fang Yuan, rolled up last night and snagged the prize, GG."

"My brother?!" Fang Zheng's eyes went wide, like he'd just seen a plot twist on TikTok. "He won first place? Are you serious?"

How could that be? His bro was C-tier, that's a skill issue!

"Dead serious. We wouldn't troll you with this," the guard said, throwing a bit of shade.

"The elder confirmed it. The leaderboard's gonna drop soon. Didn't your brother slide into your DMs with the news?" the other guard added, giving off that "awkward silence" energy.

Fang Zheng stood there, frozen, like his ping just spiked.

Gooner Yue Mo Bei, and Gooner Yue Chi Lian

B-tier grinders, backed by major clan guilds with OP grandfathers and fat stacks.

If either of them had snagged the W, Fang Zheng would've been coping, but it wouldn't have been a total L.

But the victor wasn't Gooner Yue Mo Bei or Gooner Yue Chi Lian, or even anyone on his radar.

It was Gooner Yue Fang Yuan, his older brother!

The C-tier noob!

The one who'd been throwing a pity party since the Awakening Ceremony!

The one who was AFK during class!

The one who was always hammered and ghosting home!

The one who bullied Shen Cui, scratched him twice, and looted his primeval stones!

The one who had opened up a Neko maid cafe and spent his afternoons cross-dressing as a catgirl maid!

The one who was always lurking in his shadow, like a perma-debuff!