Surviving marriage in yandere world

Velvet Arena, Royal Magic Academy Tournament Grounds.

Day 1 of the "Unity and Peace Festival Tournament," Already a Disaster.

Rei had woken up this morning with a single prayer on his lips.

"Please, God, smite me or smite them or smite the whole school.

Just—someone smite something before this gets worse."

Naturally, no divine lightning descended. Instead, He received a brand-new pop-up window floating over his head.

[Side Quest Unlocked!]

[Quest Title: Bet on Your Wife!]

[Details: Place a wager on which yandere will win the tournament. Correct guess: +1 Day of Peace. Wrong guess: –10 HP (Mental).]

[Note: Failure to participate will be considered "cowardice."]

"Wait, wait, wait," he muttered, nearly choking on the arena peanuts he'd been nervously stress-eating. "Why do I have to bet on them? Aren't they literally trying to kill each other out there?"

The System pinged smugly:

[System Reply: And you thought you could sit quietly in the stands like some background character?]

[System Addendum: Participation in chaos is mandatory. This is a yandere-dense zone, not a spectator sport.]

[Penalty for refusal: Public Announcement – 'Duke's Son Refuses to Support His Beloved Wives.']

My blood ran cold. "That… that would trigger an emotional apocalypse."

"Rei!" a voice purred sweetly from behind me.

Rei didn't have to turn around to know that Lilia was looming, radiating holy maiden-turned-dictator energy. She had her "Sacred Clipboard of Husband Management" tucked under her arm and was glaring at the arena with serene fury.

"You're not… thinking of supporting the wrong wife, are you?" she asked, smiling in that terrifying way saints do right before they start inquisitions.

On his left, Drakana leaned forward, her dragon tail casually shattering the marble bench. "If you don't bet on me, mate, I'll train your spine like a kettlebell."

Rosette appeared without sound—just materialized like a cursed screensaver—and whispered, "Husband, my butterfly drones have already registered your betting slip. Choose wisely."

Seraphina folded her hands in prayer, holy aura blazing. "The Lord has already decreed that you will support me, Rei. Do not fight destiny."

And Emilia—sweet, clueless Emilia—was just… cheering and waving a flag that said Go Rei! despite not even being in the tournament. She'd somehow bought snacks for the entire student section and was handing them out like she was hosting a bake sale instead of attending a death-match.

Rei buried his face in his hands. "I'm surrounded by maniacs."

The Master of Ceremonies, some poor sap of a dean who clearly regretted his life choices, raised his staff.

"Welcome, everyone, to the First Annual Royal Magic Academy Tournament of Peace and Unity!"

The crowd roared. Fireworks exploded in the shape of doves. A marching band played.

The five women in my life all simultaneously turned their heads… to glare at each other. The air temperature dropped ten degrees.

[System Observation: Threat Level — "Colosseum Divorce Court."]

[Reminder: Pick a wife to bet on before Round 1 begins, or suffer penalty.]

"Fine," Rei hissed under his breath. "Fine! If I have to bet, I'll… I'll…"

But how could I pick?

Lilia: The holy maiden whose obsessive edicts controlled half the student body.

Drakana: Dragon-blooded warrior, now doubled as Emilia's "PE coach of doom."

Rosette: The maid assassin who had probably hacked the school's registration system.

Seraphina: Actual princess, backed by divine miracles and a choir subscription plan.

Emilia: Okay, technically she wasn't in the tournament… yet somehow I was positive she'd stumble into it anyway.

It was like being asked, "Which bomb do you want to hold while it explodes?"

Round 1 was announced. The arena floor shimmered, transforming into a magically generated battleground: a replica of a ruined cathedral with stained glass shards glittering under moonlight. Very poetic. Very doomed.

"Contestant One: Lilia, the Saint of Eternal Husbandry!"

Lilia stepped out, robes shining, her staff glimmering with golden runes spelling MRS. REI. The crowd went silent in awe—until they noticed the embroidery. Then they whispered nervously.

"Contestant Two: Drakana, the Crimson Dragon Gladiator!"

Drakana stormed in, armor clanking, sword strapped across her back. She cracked her neck, blew fire into the air, and then pointed directly at him.

"WARM UP YOUR HONEYMOON MUSCLES, MATE!" she roared.

Rei soul left his body.

[System Tip: Might we suggest not betting on the one who just threatened to break you like a dumbbell?]

[System Comment: Just kidding. She'll probably win.]

The bell rang. Immediately, the cathedral floor exploded as Lilia unleashed holy spears while Drakana countered with dragonfire. The two forces collided, creating a shockwave that flattened half the bleachers. Students screamed. Professors activated barrier spells.

"UNITY AND PEACE!" the dean shouted desperately. "REMEMBER, THIS IS ABOUT UNITY AND PEACE!"

His voice was drowned out by the sound of Lilia chanting, "No rival shall claim my husband's heart!" and Drakana yelling, "I'M GONNA BENCH-PRESS HIS LOVE!"

Meanwhile, the System kept buzzing in Rei's ear.

[Reminder: Place your bet.]

[Reminder: Place your bet.]

[Reminder: PLACE. YOUR. BET.]

"Shut up!" Rei whispered harshly. "I can't! They'll kill me if I pick wrong!"

[System Reply: Correction — they'll kill you anyway. This way you might at least gain +1 day of peace.]

Rei groaned, Fine. "If I was doomed either way, I might as well gamble. But then, like a cruel twist of fate, a voice piped up beside me."

"Um, excuse me, Rei…"

It was Emilia. She was holding two candied apples, offering one to me with the world's most innocent smile. "Who are you betting on? I'll cheer with you!"

The world slowed. The wives' duel froze in his vision. Rei's heart stopped.

Because four pairs of yandere eyes had just snapped toward Emilia.

[System Warning: Emotional Hostility Convergence Detected.]

[Shared Obsession Resonance: Critical!]

"Oh no," Rei breathed. "Oh no, no, no."

Lilia's spear faltered mid-air as she hissed, "Why would Emilia be cheering with him?"

Drakana snarled, "She thinks she's allowed to share snacks with him?"

Rosette's drones swiveled in perfect synchronization, recording Emilia's every smile. Click. Whir.

And Seraphina, halo blazing, murmured, "Clearly, this is a confession trap in disguise."

Emilia blinked, utterly oblivious. "What? Did I spill caramel on my face again?"

The arena floor shook. The duel escalated into an all-out war—not against each other, but directed squarely at Emilia.

"Oh come on!" Rei shouted, standing up. "She was just giving me a candied apple!"

The crowd screamed as spells, swords, and holy fire streaked toward Emilia—who promptly tripped, sneezed, and accidentally dodged everything.

The dean fainted.

[System Log: HOW IS SHE STILL ALIVE?]

[Side Quest Update: Betting pools now include 'Emilia (Wildcard).']

Rei's eye twitched. "You've got to be kidding me."

But the System wasn't. A fresh betting slip floated in front of me, shimmering temptingly.

[Options: Lilia / Drakana / Rosette / Seraphina / Emilia (Wildcard).]

[Place your bet now.]

The wives were already tearing apart the arena in a jealous frenzy, the crowd was hiding under their seats, and Emilia was busy licking caramel off her fingers like this was a picnic.

Rei realized, with the clarity of a condemned man, that no matter who he bet on…

…He was doomed.

[System Comment: Reminder — gambling is bad for your health. Unless it's funny. Which this is.]

Rei clutched the candied apple Emilia had given him. Fire and holy light exploded around them. The smell of dragonfire and caramelized sugar filled the air.

And Rei screamed to the heavens, "WHY IS THIS MY LIFE?!"

The arena descended further into madness.

Drakana had stopped trying to duel Lilia and instead was trying to punt Emilia across the stadium "for training purposes." Lilia, scandalized, shouted scripture about "protecting the sanctity of holy snacks shared with husbands" while launching spears of light at Drakana's tail.

Meanwhile, Rosette's drones swarmed, projecting a live broadcast of HusbandVision: Betrayal Edition across the magical screens for all the student body to see. The caption read: "Scandal! Husband Accepts Caramel Apple from Rival Female!"

"WHAT?!" Rei shouted, choking on caramel fumes. "It wasn't a scandal—it was sugar!"

The crowd booed Rei. Even strangers wanted drama.

Seraphina, however, took the situation further. She raised her hands toward the sky and a golden ring began descending from the heavens like divine judgment. "If he eats another woman's offering, then let us sanctify him with holy matrimony to me at once!"

The ring fell. Rei (the world's most cursed protagonist) rolled desperately out of the way, nearly losing his candied apple. The ring instead landed on Emilia's finger, perfectly snug.

Emilia blinked down at it, chewing caramel. "Huh? Did I just get engaged?"

The stadium gasped. The wives froze mid-battle.

And Rei? His brain blue-screened.

[System Update: Unplanned Engagement Flag Triggered.]

[Achievement Unlocked: Caramel-Coated Catastrophe.]

[Note: Congratulations! You are now both single and married and murdered, simultaneously.]

The entire crowd began chanting, "EMILIA! EMILIA! EMILIA!" like she was some underdog heroine in a sports anime. Emilia, embarrassed, waved shyly and handed her extra candied apple to a random spectator.

Rei wanted to scream.

Instead, he clutched his head and whispered the only words that could describe this hell:

"…I should have bet on the apocalypse."

To be continued…