Taming the Protagonist

Chapter 77 : Fate · Future · Part Three

How much must a person endure to grow?

Given the myriad natures of beings, the answer naturally varied.

For Hitana Lansmarlos, the answer was… utterly cruel.

The cruelty lay not merely in losing everything but in the fact that… at least eighty percent of her suffering stemmed from herself.

Otherwise, I wouldn’t have sunk into battle and slaughter during my long wanderings,

recognizing my mistakes in growth, numbing myself through that realization, and growing again through that numbness.

In the end, after killing the person I owed the most in this world, after receiving her admonition and restraint, I was reborn.

Fate, with such cruelty, carved my flesh, hacked my bones, and reshaped me into the embryo of an empress, the shell of a conqueror.

“This is… my future?”

Anselm’s face reappeared in my vision, and my expression wasn’t one of collapse or fear but… an incomprehensible absurdity.

I wasn’t escaping reality, only feeling an overwhelming absurdity from what I’d seen.

I couldn’t believe I was so foolish, so brutal, couldn’t believe… I abandoned my sister to escape that hell, stood wailing helplessly on the ruins of my village, wandered aimlessly in numb chaos, squandered my strength in slaughter, and in the end… killed Marina, who sacrificed everything for me, with my own hands.

I wasn’t doubting the future Anselm showed me.

I simply couldn’t believe… that pitiful, hateful person was me.

“Anselm…”

I lowered my head, my voice trembling and distorted: “Was that person really me?”

“That self-righteous, blindly arrogant person who always boasted about her strength but never supported Lina, never understood her, never stood by her when she needed that strength, and instead used it to kill her—was that me?”

“That was you, Hitana.”

Anselm gently stroked me, trembling with anger and grief, his sea-blue eyes devoid of excess emotion.

Only… the shared pity of the wretched.

“Fate’s purpose was the same as mine—to make you grow.The pain you endured, the village’s destruction, and all of Marina’s despair were the nourishment for your transformation.”

He held my hand, saying softly: “You may not grasp my words intuitively, so look at these.”

The scene in my eyes shifted again, showing Marina and me being taken by Count Chishuang’s men.

“Hitana, you’ve vaguely realized by now that despite all the trouble you caused, your village faced no retaliation because someone was protecting you, right?”

Anselm’s voice sounded in my ear: “The one shielding you was the mentor who brought you to Tianlu Tower.She held significant status there, deflecting countless disasters for you.”

“So the question is, at this moment, when you were taken by Count Chishuang, during your imprisonment in Chishuang Manor, why was she silent?”

The scene flowed, and a plain-looking mature woman appeared before my eyes.

She looked at the text on parchment, her expression anguished.

“This is… Teacher?”

I murmured.

“To be precise, it’s Polynea after learning of your situation, two years after you and Marina were taken.”

Anselm said, as the scene shifted again.

“Why did I research that damned Eternal Silence spell!If only earlier… if I hadn’t been immersed in research, Hina…”

The scene froze, and Anselm’s explanation followed: “This is Polynea’s remorseful memory from speaking with you.A week before you and Marina were taken, she dove into a significant research project.Do you know… why she suddenly started it?”

The scene resumed, and Polynea murmured tremulously: “If only that inspiration hadn’t come… if that inspiration had never appeared—”

In my rising fury, Anselm tugged his lips, saying with biting sarcasm:

“That’s right, inspiration.”

“Divinely granted… inspiration.”

“And in the present I’ve changed, Polynea never received that inspiration.I easily invited her to Chishuang City; she wasn’t lost in research that ignored the outside world.”

I stared fiercely at my long-unseen, tearful teacher, words squeezed through gritted teeth: “And that’s because… you came, Anselm.Even if teacher entered research, you’d change my and Marina’s fate.”

“Exactly, so Polynea didn’t receive that inspiration again.Fate deemed it meaningless—absurd, isn’t it?An inspiration that could revolutionize the etheric realm, just to plunge you and Marina… into an abyss of no return.”

I could only remain silent.

In this mental world, Anselm withdrew the images of his heart, projecting something else.

Not the traverser’s knowledge of the world, but… his own memories.

“This is just the tip of the iceberg of its manipulation of your life.”

Anselm said, and a young boy appeared in the scene.

Golden hair, sea-blue eyes—undoubtedly a young Anselm Hydra.

But his gaze was chillingly cold, not at all like an eleven-year-old’s, more like… a crazed, inhuman beast.

“I have one request: kill her.”

The boy in the scene issued a ruthless command, his tone unwavering.

“Hitana, at eleven, you faced a sudden assassination.”

Anselm said: “That was my doing.”

I didn’t get angry, responding calmly: “But… I didn’t die.I remember clearly, I killed that guy.”

“Yes, logically, you hadn’t entered the transcendent realm then.There was no way you could’ve countered him.Do you know… what tier the assassin I hired was?”

Anselm sneered: “Third-tier transcendent, a killer with ten years of experience.”

“…But that guy wasn’t that strong.”

“Right, because the one who came wasn’t the assassin I hired.”

“…”

“The ‘assassin’ I hired looked down on you as a target and didn’t want to go to the desolate North, so he subcontracted it to a second-tier assassin.That assassin, thinking killing a child was beneath him, subcontracted it again.After layers of handoffs, a weak, newly first-tier assassin took the job.”

Anselm looked at me, his tone flat: “And he was killed by you, forcibly awakening your Spiritual Essence.”

“How much do you think fate pushed things along?”

“I wanted to kill you without alerting anyone.You were just a kid from a remote village then.

If I made a big move, my father might’ve noticed something off about me, which I didn’t want, so this absurd assassination happened.”

I let out a bitter, mocking laugh: “That’s… quite interesting.”

“Yes, quite interesting.”

Hydra sighed, shifting the scene to something else.

“Just this one time made me realize you could never be killed, no matter what I did.Fate always lets you escape and grow.If so, I’d become its tool, so I gave up killing you and started planning anew.”

This time, I saw… a young Marina.

“My thought then was that the source of your fall into the abyss and your rebirth wasn’t Count Chishuang or Chishuang Territory, not those who caused you pain, but… the people you cherished.”

“So I tried protecting Marina, keeping her from tragedy as much as possible, but you, bound by Marina, couldn’t grow enough.”

“But I failed.”

I stood in Anselm’s perspective, watching Marina converse with a noble.

“I orchestrated over a dozen instances, letting Marina interact with people from various strata.”

Anselm said: “These were carefully selected—either conscientious, perceptive, or nobles, transcendents, merchants protecting their interests.”

“They didn’t lack fighters but needed someone to manage wealth and affairs well.

Such talent… is best nurtured from youth, the most trustworthy.”

“So, if Marina had accepted any of their offers, your family’s fate might’ve changed.”

“But Marina didn’t accept a single one.”

The young Hydra sighed with complexity and pity: “I don’t know what Marina was thinking or how fate interfered, but the fact is… she passed up a dozen opportunities, staying in Chishuang Territory, awaiting fate’s arrival.”

“Later, I realized even if you and your family left Chishuang Territory, tragedy would’ve happened, just in a different way.”

In the vast mental world, Anselm said to me, head bowed: “So I began long preparations and plans, realized now.”

“Anselm…”

I looked at the boy before me, murmuring dazedly: “What are you?Why… Why do you know these things?Why… choose me?”

Anselm smiled: “This is the last part.”

In the mental world, he held my hand, pulling me into his arms, whispering:“Now you witness me, Hitana.”

And so, I saw.

The confusion at the embryo’s birth, a soul from another world, a vast library of memories, an ocean of knowledge, and… Hydra’s future.

“I, like you, am a tool in its hands, pushing the world toward its next phase.”

Anselm smiled calmly: “But you are the cornerstone, revered as great by people and posterity, while I, the greatest sacrifice beneath it, am only worthy of eternal scorn and contempt.”

I trembled, reading Anselm’s original life.

Having felt only sorrow and anger reading my own, I now… felt fear.

Yes, Anselm’s life, so despairing it terrified even me, who’d seen my own misery.

“This traveler's friend’s memories were too vast.By ten, I found memories of this world in a corner.”

The scene before us shifted, and Anselm gazed at the reality-like images, lowering his eyes slightly.

“This is where it all began, my… final proof.”

***

When we returned to reality, I realized I was… already in tears.

Through Anselm’s perspective, I fully experienced the despair he endured.

“An… selm.”

I, who hadn’t wept for my own misery, said tremulously: “That day, you…”

Anselm just smiled, wiping my tears: “It’s passed, Hitana.I’ve escaped that day’s despair, and what remains… is only hatred.”

He pressed his forehead to mine, saying softly:“This is all I can give you.Which side you choose is up to you.”

I calmed quickly, feeling the warmth of his forehead spreading through me, my heart… stirring with new emotions.

“So… you did all that to me, deliberately telling me it was all your arrangement, to make me… hate fate?”

“The main purpose.”

Anselm replied: “Of course, there were two others.”

“First, to replace fate’s overly cruel design for your growth.Though what you’ve endured isn’t enough to reach that future’s heights, it’s sufficient for now.Future growth can come naturally; I’ll be by your side, no need to worry.”

His words warmed me… compared to fate’s methods, Anselm’s “growth” was infinitely gentle.

“As for the other purpose…”

Anselm paused, smiling at me, his sea-blue eyes quickening my heartbeat, making me look away.

“Of course, to make you unable to leave me, Hitana.”

“You!”

I punched Anselm,ashamed and angry, my heart pounding uncontrollably, forcing me to change the subject: “Then, then why didn’t you say earlier! Why wait until now… saying those infuriating things back then, I nearly beat you to death…”

“If I’d said it then, would you have believed me?”

Anselm countered.

“…”

I, the wolf lady, was speechless, his compelling words leaving me mumbling uneasily, finally burying my head in his chest in shame.

“Also, bringing you back to the village and meeting Wendigo was crucial.You’ve now recognized your abilities and weight, haven’t you, Hitana?”

Anselm stroked my soft, smooth short hair, his cheek against mine, saying softly:“From today, suffering will leave you, Hitana.”

He gently pushed me back, extending his hand, his gaze burning.

“Hitana, will you fight for our freedom and future?”

The rebel defying fate issued an invitation intolerable to the world to the prisoner finally freed from her cage:“Will you become my kin, my strength, and from now on, stand with me against fate?”

“…So, that was all for this?”

My body trembled slightly, from heartfelt emotion, warmth, ecstasy, and… happiness.

I stared intently at that face so close, asking with joy and anxiety: “Not to make me fully yours, not to make me abandon myself, but to… fight fate with you, right?”

“Of course.”

Anselm laughed happily: “Hitana, what have you been imagining?Those strange thoughts were just your own wild guesses, weren’t they?”

“I…”

My face flushed red with embarrassment: “What do you mean I was imagining things!You clearly… clearly every night…”

“Night?”

The young man tilted his head curiously: “What about at night?”

“Do I have to spell it out!”

I banged my head against his chest, panting for a moment before muttering softly: “Every night… always conditioning me, not letting me go even when I stopped sleeping…”

Anselm stared at me for a while, then said in a peculiar tone:

“But the mark I left on you only lets me come to your side, not enter your dreams to condition you.”

“…”

I snapped my head up, looking at Anselm in disbelief.

Anselm wouldn’t lie to me, which meant… It wasn’t Anselm, it was… a dream?

Those vague, ambiguous scenes suddenly became clearer.

The “Hydra” in my dreams, His shadowed face, wasn’t Anselm.

It was… me.

So that’s how it was.

I’d been regretting leaving Anselm’s side ever since.

Every night, I was criticizing myself, venting, punishing myself… repenting to Anselm this way.

Because only then could I wake up the next day… still hating Anselm, still clinging to my pitiful dignity.

I even spoke for Anselm, telling myself he must have his reasons and goals, telling myself I shouldn’t be so stubborn, shouldn’t overestimate myself.

I already knew… I was just obsessively numbing myself, unwilling to accept it.

So, the dreams, the Anselm appearing beside me, were all me.

The indistinct face, the exaggerated behavior and speech so unlike the real Anselm, the attitude toward me…

It was never Hydra, but me, facing reality.

My heartbeat.

All I could hear now was my increasingly frantic heartbeat.

All I could feel was the scalding heat spreading through my body.

So that’s how it was, from the start, even knowing Anselm toyed with my life, deep down… I still chose to believe him.

I was already unable to leave him.

“What’s wrong, Hitana?”

Anselm looked at me, head bowed and silent, teasing: “Dreamed I did something very—”

In the snow and moonlight, I raised my flushed face, offering my pink lips to the one who was never fated to be my destiny.

I no longer suppressed my desire, fiercely, passionately, wildly, and savagely pressing my lips against his, my hands tightly gripping the back of his head, my entire body clinging to his embrace.

The young Hydra, stunned for a moment, gently wrapped his arm around my slender, toned waist, skillfully and tenderly entwining with my clumsy fervor, feeling my hot breath against his cheek.

After a full ten minutes, I slowly released Anselm’s head, pulling back slightly, licking his lips like a reluctant puppy.

“Calmed down?”

Anselm smiled, patting my head.

“…Yeah.”

My cheeks burned, but my eyes gleamed eagerly, as if wanting another round.

Hydra, who called himself a vessel of desire, chuckled wryly, gently pinching my cheek: “There’ll be plenty of time for that later.”

He smoothed my hair, gazing into my eyes:“So, Hitana, your answer?”

“Will you join me on this path of no return?”

“…Idiot.”

I leaned close to Anselm’s ear.

Whether from my emotions or rational thought, after all I’d been through, all I’d seen, I understood.

No matter how powerful my future self was, in this vast world, the current me was still utterly insignificant.

If I kept blindly trusting in my strength, I’d only be a harbinger of disaster.

There was no one in this world better to me than Anselm; I had no reason to hold resentment or dissatisfaction.

And I didn’t want to leave him anymore.

So, under this night sky, the wolf who truly transformed answered without hesitation: “I won’t leave you, and I won’t let you leave me.”

The once-innocent, delicate girl, saying this, faintly carried the… conqueror’s aura of the Sky Wolf Empress from a future that no longer existed.

This was both an unreserved confession and a firm, bold declaration.

Anselm embraced me, the girl who would defy fate with him, unsure how to describe this feeling—it wasn’t just the satisfaction of conquest, the release of desire, or… winning a round.

An emotion he’d never felt stirred quietly, but Anselm, examining his heart, chose to suppress it after calm thought.

Not because he was so cold or lacked feelings for me, but in this game with fate, the young Hydra, seasoned by suffering, was accustomed to treading carefully.

Yet he was still joyful, embracing me, feeling a long-lost emotion called happiness.

“Let this be our oath.”

Anselm kissed my earlobe, responding in my ear:

“From now on, until the end.”