Chapter 9: "The Weight of Memories"
The morning light crept into the small house, its golden fingers slipping through the thin curtains and casting soft patterns over the wooden floor. The faint clatter of dishes filled the air, mixing with the comforting scent of freshly brewed tea. Diane stood by the sink, sleeves rolled up, her hands submerged in warm, soapy water. The rhythm of washing dishes was almost soothing, a rare moment of quiet in a house that rarely knew stillness.
Dalian moved around the kitchen with practiced ease, tying her apron securely before checking the pot on the stove. The aroma of simmering broth filled the space, blending with the faint sweetness of the bread Aunt Beatrice had left cooling on the counter.
A knock on the door broke the peaceful morning hum. Dalian wiped her hands on her apron before hurrying over. When she pulled it open, Lydia stood there, wrapped in her thick winter coat, cheeks pink from the cold. Her usual bright eyes softened as she stepped inside.
"You're early," Dalian noted, stepping aside to let her in.
Lydia shrugged, setting her schoolbag down. "I thought I'd help out before we head to school."
Diane glanced over her shoulder, giving Lydia a small nod before turning back to the dishes. She had grown used to Lydia's presence over time. At first, it had felt strange to have someone outside their small world step in so effortlessly, but now, it was almost expected. Lydia had a way of making herself belong, whether invited or not.
"You don't have to," Dalian said, though she was already handing Lydia a towel.
"I want to," Lydia replied, picking up a plate and drying it with care. "Besides, it's faster if I help."
Diane didn't argue. Instead, she focused on scrubbing the last of the pots, her mind already drifting to the heavy textbooks waiting for her in the next room. Her studies had become an anchor, something solid in a world that felt constantly shifting beneath her feet. The weight of expectations—her own, the school's, even Aunt Beatrice's unspoken hopes—pressed against her shoulders, but she carried it without complaint.
As Lydia finished drying the last plate, she nudged Dalian playfully. "Did you try a new dish again? The kitchen smells amazing."
Dalian's lips curled into a small, pleased smile. "I tweaked the stew recipe a little. Aunt Beatrice likes it."
Lydia grinned. "I swear, you're going to be running your own restaurant one day."
Dalian shook her head but didn't deny it. Cooking had become her way of contributing, of creating warmth in a place where warmth had been stolen from them. The kitchen was her safe space, just as Diane's was behind her books.
The moment of lightness didn't last long. A chill crept into the air, something unspoken hanging between them. The calendar on the wall was a silent reminder. The days were slipping away, inching closer to the one they all wished they could erase.
Christmas.
Lydia hesitated before speaking, her voice softer. "So... are you guys doing anything special this year?"
The words lingered. Diane stiffened slightly, her hands pausing mid-motion before she placed the last plate in the drying rack. Dalian turned back to the stove, stirring the broth though it didn't need it.
Aunt Beatrice had suggested an outing. A family trip, something simple to pull them away from the memories that clawed at their hearts. But Christmas wasn't a day of celebration for them. It was the anniversary of everything they had lost.
Diane forced a smile, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Nothing special. Just a quiet day."
Lydia didn't push, but the look she gave them said she understood.
The morning continued, but the air felt heavier, the weight of the approaching day pressing down on them all. Even as they stepped out into the cold to head for school, the past walked with them, its shadow stretching long behind.
The morning air carried the crisp bite of early December, a warning of the approaching winter. Diane pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders as she stepped outside, the sky still a murky shade of gray. Dalian followed, adjusting the strap of her bag, her breath visible in the cold air. Lydia walked beside them, her presence a quiet but steady warmth against the unspoken weight pressing down on them.
The three moved in silence for a while, the only sounds being the crunch of their footsteps against the frost-kissed pavement. The neighborhood was waking up slowly—shopkeepers rolling up their shutters, the smell of fresh bread wafting from the bakery down the street, the distant chatter of schoolchildren ahead of them.
Lydia, always the one to break the silence, kicked a stray pebble across the path. "You look exhausted, Diane. Did you sleep at all?"
Diane's fingers tightened around the strap of her bag. "I got enough."
Lydia gave her a pointed look but didn't push. "And you, Dalian?"
Dalian hesitated before offering a small shrug. "There was a lot to do. Aunt Beatrice needed help with the baby, and I had to finish some things."
Lydia sighed, linking arms with her. "You never complain, you know that? It's kind of scary."
Dalian let out a quiet laugh. "What's the point? Complaining won't change anything."
Lydia huffed. "Still, you should let people help you sometimes."
Diane exhaled sharply. "There's no time for that. We all have responsibilities."
Lydia frowned but let the subject drop as they neared the school gates, the familiar hum of students filling the air. Groups gathered in clusters, chatting, exchanging notes, laughing. The sight had once felt normal—routine, even—but now it only reminded Diane of how much had changed. How different they had become from everyone else.
As they stepped inside, Diane steeled herself, pushing everything else aside. There was schoolwork to focus on, expectations to meet, and no space for distractions. No space for the past.
Christmas loomed in the background, but for Diane and Dalian, it was nothing more than a shadow of something they had lost. And no matter how much the world around them seemed to celebrate, the weight of that day remained, buried deep where no one else could see.
The classroom was already half full when Diane, Dalian, and Lydia stepped inside. The air carried the sharp scent of chalk mixed with the faint remnants of coffee from their teacher's usual morning cup. Rows of desks stood in perfect alignment, each occupied by students settling in, flipping through books, whispering last-minute revisions, or simply zoning out as they waited for the lesson to begin.
Diane moved to her seat with quiet confidence, setting her books down with precision. The moment she sat, her hands automatically reached for her notes, eyes scanning over the pages with an intensity that had become second nature. Around her, conversations hummed in the background, a blur of voices discussing everything from assignments to the latest gossip. None of it mattered. Only the upcoming lecture did.
Dalian took her usual place beside Lydia, who nudged her playfully. "You didn't forget about our study session later, did you?"
Dalian shook her head, smiling. "How could I? You'll probably show up at the house whether I agree or not."
Lydia smirked. "You know me too well."
Before they could continue, the door swung open, and their homeroom teacher, Mr. Callahan, strode inside, his usual commanding presence settling the room into silence. He adjusted his glasses, placing his papers neatly on the desk before turning to face the class.
"Alright, settle down," he said, his deep voice echoing against the walls. "Today, we'll be covering advanced calculus—an area that many of you struggle with, if last week's quiz was any indication."
A collective groan rippled through the students. Diane, however, simply straightened in her chair, pen poised, already prepared. Numbers were logical. They didn't deceive, didn't twist into nightmares. They were the only thing that made absolute sense.
As the lecture began, Diane absorbed every word, every equation scrawled onto the board, her mind working swiftly to process it all. Around her, some students were barely keeping up, eyes glazing over as they attempted to jot down notes. Lydia, though making an effort, sighed under her breath, leaning slightly toward Dalian. "This is going to kill me."
Dalian bit her lip to suppress a laugh. "It's not that bad."
"Says the girl who can memorize a recipe in two minutes but can't remember last week's formulas."
A soft chuckle passed between them before they forced themselves to refocus. The next hour passed in concentrated silence, interrupted only by the scratching of pens against paper and the occasional sigh of frustration.
Finally, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lesson. Students slumped back in their seats in relief while Mr. Callahan gathered his notes. "I expect your assignments on my desk by Monday. No excuses."
As he walked out, the tension broke, and chatter immediately returned to the room. Lydia stretched, groaning. "I swear, I lost five years of my life listening to that."
"You'll live," Diane replied, shutting her notebook. "Barely."
Lunch break followed, and students spilled into the courtyard, forming their usual clusters. Diane, Dalian, and Lydia found their usual spot beneath the large oak tree, unpacking their lunches. Around them, groups of students laughed and gossiped, some sharing food, others absorbed in their own conversations.
Dalian unwrapped a neatly packed sandwich, handing Lydia an extra one. "Aunt Beatrice made extra this morning."
Lydia grinned. "Remind me to thank her later."
Diane ate in quiet contemplation, eyes scanning the schoolyard. The scene before her was almost picturesque—students lost in the trivialities of youth. But to her, the weight of Christmas loomed closer, darkening the edges of her mind.
She shook the thought away. For now, there was still school. There was still studying. There was still work to be done.
The walk home from school was supposed to be routine, but today, Lydia and Dalian had other plans. The air carried the crisp scent of winter, mingling with the distant aroma of baked goods and spices. The village market, lively and filled with chatter, was just ahead.
"Come on, just for a little while," Lydia coaxed, nudging Diane's arm. "You've been buried in books all day. You need a break."
Diane adjusted the strap of her bag, her brows knitting together. "I don't see the point."
Dalian, walking beside them, gave her a sideways glance. "The point is you don't even remember the last time you went anywhere that wasn't school or home."
Diane pursed her lips, hesitating as they neared the entrance. The market stretched before them in a blur of colors—stalls draped in vibrant fabrics, baskets overflowing with fresh fruit, the rhythmic clatter of wooden carts rolling over uneven stone pathways. People wove between the stalls, exchanging coins, laughter, and stories.
"Just ten minutes," Lydia pressed, eyes pleading. "That's all."
Diane exhaled, giving in. "Fine. But ten minutes."
Lydia beamed, grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward before she could change her mind.
The moment they stepped in, the sounds surrounded them—the hum of conversations, the sharp calls of vendors advertising their goods, the occasional laughter of children darting between the stalls. Diane instinctively pulled her coat tighter around herself, trying to ignore the warmth of the crowd pressing in.
"Look at these!" Dalian stopped in front of a stall where fresh pastries sat neatly arranged, their golden crusts glistening under the soft afternoon light. The vendor, an elderly woman with a kind smile, handed a small piece to Dalian, who took a bite and hummed in approval.
"Diane, you should try one," Lydia said, nudging her again. "It's really good."
Diane shook her head. "I'm not hungry."
Lydia sighed but didn't push further. Instead, she turned to the vendor. "We'll take three, please."
As they continued walking, Diane's eyes drifted across the market. A group of children huddled near a toy stand, pointing excitedly at wooden carvings of animals. A man bargained with a fruit vendor over the price of oranges. A young couple laughed, sharing a warm drink as they strolled. It was… peaceful.
But the peace only made the hollow space inside her chest more pronounced.
Dalian glanced at her, noticing the way Diane's gaze lingered on the families, the warmth they shared so effortlessly. She didn't say anything, but she reached out and squeezed Diane's hand briefly before letting go. Diane blinked, surprised by the small gesture, but she didn't pull away.
"You're doing it again," Lydia's voice cut through her thoughts. "Thinking too much."
Diane exhaled sharply. "I can't help it."
"Then don't," Lydia said simply. "Just for today, let it be."
For today.
Diane looked around once more, the market still buzzing with life, and for the first time in a long while, she let herself take it in—really take it in.
Maybe just for today.
The market was alive with the hum of voices, the clatter of carts, and the inviting aroma of freshly baked bread and roasted chestnuts. Stalls lined the dirt path, bursting with vibrant produce, handcrafted trinkets, and bundles of herbs that filled the air with their earthy fragrance. The warmth of lanterns flickering in the late afternoon light cast a golden glow over the bustling scene.
Dalian tugged at Diane's sleeve, her eyes shining with quiet excitement. "Come on, let's look around."
Diane hesitated, her shoulders still tense from the weight of the textbooks slung over her back. She had nearly refused to come, convinced that every moment spent away from her studies was a moment wasted. But the look in her sister's eyes, the gentle urging from Lydia, and the crisp air filled with the scent of spice and fresh bread had softened her resolve.
"Just for a little while," Diane muttered, adjusting the strap of her bag.
Dalian grinned, looping her arm through Diane's. "That's the spirit."
They wove through the market, pausing at a stall selling intricately woven scarves. Dalian lifted one with a delicate snowflake pattern, running her fingers over the soft fabric. "This would look nice on you," she mused, holding it up to Diane's chin.
Diane scoffed but didn't pull away. "It's too expensive."
Lydia, who had been inspecting a set of wooden hairpins, turned with a smirk. "It's a market, Diane. You're supposed to haggle."
Before Diane could argue, the vendor, an older woman with laugh lines etched into her face, chuckled. "For you girls, I'll give a good price. It's nearly the holidays, after all."
Dalian's smile widened. "See? A little fun won't hurt."
Diane exhaled but allowed herself to linger. As they moved deeper into the market, the cheerful atmosphere slowly seeped into her rigid stance. Dalian pulled her toward a confectionery stall, the scent of honey and almonds wafting in the air. Without waiting, she bought a small paper bag of candied nuts and pressed it into Diane's hands.
"Just try one," Dalian urged.
Diane frowned at the offering but, after a pause, plucked one from the bag and popped it into her mouth. The sweetness melted against her tongue, warm and comforting. She chewed slowly, her eyes drifting toward the flickering lanterns, the groups of children laughing as they chased one another between the stalls. A strange feeling settled in her chest—one she hadn't let herself feel in a long time.
Peace.
Dalian nudged her. "Good, right?"
Diane swallowed and nodded. "Yeah… it's good."
Lydia beamed. "Look at that. She's finally enjoying herself."
Diane rolled her eyes but didn't fight the small smile tugging at her lips. For today, just today, she would let herself breathe. She would let herself enjoy the warmth of the market, the laughter of her sister, and the quiet companionship of her friend.
The books would still be waiting when she got home. But right now—right now, she was here.
The sun had begun its descent, casting a golden hue over the village as Diane and Dalian made their way toward the bus stop. Lydia walked alongside them, her usual energetic chatter filling the air as they weaved through the thinning market crowd.
"I'm telling you, Diane, you need to loosen up more. You're way too serious all the time," Lydia teased, nudging her friend lightly.
Diane, still holding onto the last remnants of her market-induced amusement, rolled her eyes but didn't protest. "I just like being productive," she replied, though her voice lacked the usual sharpness.
Dalian grinned. "Today was productive. We learned the art of picking the best fruits, haggling for a good price, and—"
"Eating three different desserts in one hour," Lydia interjected with a laugh.
Dalian giggled. "That too."
When they reached the bus stop, a small group of villagers had gathered, some carrying woven baskets filled with groceries, others engaged in quiet conversation as they waited for the next bus. The three girls stood close together, the comfortable warmth of the afternoon lingering in the air.
Lydia glanced at the arriving bus and sighed dramatically. "Well, I guess this is where I leave you two."
Dalian pouted. "You should come home with us."
Lydia chuckled. "As much as I'd love to, my mother would think I ran away."
Diane smirked. "She probably would."
Lydia gave them each a quick hug before stepping onto the bus. As it pulled away, she waved through the window, her bright smile lingering in their minds even as the vehicle disappeared from sight.
Diane and Dalian turned toward home, the road now quieter as the evening settled over the village. The walk was peaceful, the air crisp with the scent of baked goods still lingering from the market. Dalian swung the small bag of pastries they had bought, humming softly as she matched her steps with Diane's.
"You had fun today," Dalian observed, glancing up at her sister.
Diane hesitated, then sighed, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Maybe a little."
Dalian beamed. "I knew you would."
When they reached home, the comforting aroma of stew filled the air. Aunt Beatrice was in the kitchen, stirring a pot while balancing the baby on her hip. She looked up as the girls entered, her keen eyes scanning them both.
"Well? How was your little adventure?" she asked, setting the wooden spoon aside.
Dalian wasted no time launching into an animated recount of their day, her voice bright with excitement as she pulled out a chair and sat beside Aunt Beatrice. Her hands moved expressively, illustrating every detail—the crowded market stalls overflowing with fresh produce, the golden-brown pastries that had melted in their mouths, the bright fabrics that fluttered in the crisp air like dancing flames.
"And then—" she paused for dramatic effect, her eyes gleaming, "we finally got Diane to stop being a bookworm for once! Lydia and I practically dragged her through the stalls, but you should've seen her face when she took that first bite of roasted chestnuts! She actually enjoyed it!"
Aunt Beatrice chuckled, glancing at Diane, who had settled into the chair across from them. "Is that true?" she asked, raising a brow.
Diane merely shrugged, but the corner of her lips twitched. She traced an invisible line on the table with her finger, her expression unreadable yet strangely at ease. The scent of warm spices lingered on her clothes, the distant hum of the market still playing in her mind. For once, she hadn't been trapped in the rigid cycle of studying and planning—just for a moment, she had existed in the present.
Dalian, oblivious to her sister's quiet realization, kept talking, her voice filled with unfiltered joy. Diane listened, her sister's words painting vivid images in her mind. The laughter, the warmth, the simple pleasure of wandering without a destination—these were things she had pushed aside for so long.
Maybe, just for today, it had been okay to let go. Even if only for a momen