MTLNOVEL Ch. 6
Chapter 6: Inevitable Fate (3)
Friday.
On the bus headed home after class.
The conductor woman glanced at me, who was sitting in the front row by the back door.
“Why?”
“Are you a first-year at Single High School?”
“Yes.”
“You’re handsome.”
“Huh?”
“With that face, why worry so much? You could live carelessly and still be happy.”
Was she just over twenty?
How did she know I was worried?
I was fretting about how to tell my mom about the milk money and evening self‑study.
Milk cost ₩6,800.
Buying bread and milk during self‑study cost ₩500.
I needed nearly ₩20,000 every month.
My mom had quit her cleaning job.
According to the neighborhood ajummas, she had demanded an extra ₩200,000 over the ₩1.5 million monthly salary and was fired.
Maybe my mom had thought of my milk money and dinner.
Thinking of Yeonhwa, who couldn’t even afford a melodica and drew keys on paper.
I couldn’t bear to speak.
“Hey kid! You don’t have to shoulder all the world’s worries by yourself.
If you can’t fix it, give up.
If you can, find a way.
Deep think, simple act!”
I was already sensitive, and her lecture annoyed me.
“What does an ajumma know? She’s so full of herself.”
“What? Ajumma? I graduated from Jinjeong Girls’ Vocational High School last year. Do I look like someone with a messed-up head?”
“You have an even weirder head, ajumma. Do you walk around with perilla leaves stuck on your head?”
“What did you say? Perilla leaves? Ajumma? Do you really want to be punished?”
At that moment, Yang Seok‑gu, who sat behind me, stood and calmed things down.
“Sis, calm down. Ever since he breathed coal gas, she’s been a bit off.”
“So that’s why he’s off. Drink a lot of dongchimi soup. That’ll soothe your stomach and clear your mind.”
“Ajumma, get your mind together! Do you wear hairpins just to clip your hair?”
“What? Such a little brat, you don’t hold back.”
Yang Seok‑gu stood between me and the conductor.
“Kang Cheonmyeong! What’s wrong with you?”
“You’re saying my head is weird.”
“You said ‘ajumma,’ so she’s reacting. Let’s get off. Get off.”
The back door opened, and I got off one stop early.
“Don’t ever ride my bus again.”
“Is this your ajumma bus? Forever go say ‘come on!’”
I gave the middle finger to the departing bus.
“Kang Cheonmyeong!”
Yang Seok‑gu scratched his head and shook it violently.
“What’s going on with you? Are you going through turbulent adolescence? Or did you really get brain damage from the coal gas?”
“I don’t know.”
I was annoyed at brooding over just ₩20,000.
I still couldn’t completely escape my past life.
Yang Seok‑gu and I walked home side by side along the road.
“Cheonmyeong, I’ve never seen you like this. I can’t get used to it.”
“I guess the aftereffects of coal gas are lingering.”
“Did it overlap with puberty too? Get through it. Earlier, I really thought you were nuts.”
“Yeah.”
We trudged on and reached the pool hall.
Soon we’d cross the overpass; I’d turn left, and Yang Seok‑gu would go straight.
“Hey, isn’t that your mom?”
Between the stairs on both sides of the overpass stood a small makeshift booth.
My mom was crouched there, polishing shoes.
It was so embarrassing.
I remembered a conversation I overheard one night when Dad stayed over:
‘Fifty to ten.’
‘Got it. I’ll figure out a way.’
She had already quit by then.
I passed by quickly.
“Cheonmyeong, it is your mom.”
“Yes. So embarrassing.”
“Dude! What’s embarrassing? Labor is sacred.”
What’s with this guy?
Was he always this considerate?
Yang Seok‑gu spoke to calm me.
“My mom goes to others’ houses to do laundry and cleaning. I haven’t said it, but she even worked at Seo In‑ha’s house. You know how embarrassing that was for me? Even so, I’m proud of my mom.”
I had thought he was just a tattletale, but he surprised me.
I wondered why he felt that way.
“Why are you proud?”
“If others look down on her, should her own kid do the same? She does that work for me.”
It felt like I’d been hit in the head with a sledgehammer.
When I saw the shoe polish on her face earlier, I thought she was smearing dirt on mine.
I was ashamed.
“You’re a thoughtful guy.”
“See you tomorrow.”
Yang Seok‑gu waved and ran up the stairs.
I had a lot on my mind.
I walked with my head down and checked the flyer taped to the utility pole.
[Milk Delivery.
Two hours a day. ₩30,000 a month.
Students welcome.]
₩30,000.
Enough to cover milk and dinner.
I memorized the phone number and went to Ddoli Stationery, where there was a public phone.
The owner, who was cleaning in front of the store, saw me and smiled brightly.
“Cheonmyeong, back from school?”
“Yes. Hello?”
The Ddoli Stationery man always had a smiling face.
After going home, I planned to come back with ₩20 and call the milk depot.
But his bright face made me feel like I could ask him a favor.
“Mister, can I borrow 20 won? I need to make a call. I’ll go home and bring it right back.”
“Must be urgent. Who are you calling?”
“For a milk delivery job.”
“Really? Perfect timing, my friend is hiring a milk deliverer. Wanna check it out? It’s near the convent.”
The convent was just one stop away.
“How much does it pay?”
“You can earn ₩30,000 for two hours of work. They don’t bother with collections, so it’s good. Whether the milk came or not, if the volume is low, if the taste is weird—those complaints are the depot manager’s problem.”
“Is there a bike too?”
“Of course. If it’s you, Cheonmyeong, I can vouch for you, so I can confidently refer you.”
The man smiled kindly.
“Thank you.”
“I’ll put in a word for you, so go there Sunday.”
“Okay.”
Yang Seok‑gu’s words gave me strong motivation.
Since my parents were struggling so much, I needed to find something I could do.
“Cheonmyeong, study hard too.”
“Yes.”
Once the problem was solved, my steps felt lighter.
When I got home, Yeonhwa was teaching Kang Daemyung.
“Oppa, you’re home?”
“Yeah.”
“Hyung‑ah is here. Hehe.”
“What are you teaching him?”
“He keeps messing up math, so I’m teaching him arithmetic. He sometimes brings back the wrong change.”
I dropped my bag on the wooden floor and asked,
“Did you know Mom’s been polishing shoes under the overpass?”
“It’s been a few days. You didn’t know, oppa?”
“I just saw it now.”
“Well, if you cross the overpass, you wouldn’t see it. How’d you see it today?”
Since I got off one stop early, I’d seen between the overpass supports.
Normally, I’d go straight into the alley after crossing, so I never noticed.
“Why didn’t Mom tell me? You either.”
“Because you seemed like you were going through puberty.”
“Puberty?”
“You’re different than before. Sometimes you feel like a stranger.”
“Really?”
“It’s definitely puberty.”
“It’s not, so tell me everything that happens at home.”
I’d resolved to live as Kang Cheonmyeong, but my family excluding me made me feel isolated.
“Yeonhwa, if something happens at home, tell me.”
“Okay.”
I spotted a kimchi container on the floor.
“What’s that?”
“Mom made kimchi to give to Big Brother.”
“Ahyeon‑dong?”
“Yeah. Since tomorrow’s Saturday, Mom said you should go. Should I go instead?”
“How are you gonna carry that? It looks like more than 5 kilograms.”
“I can lift it.”
Yeonhwa grabbed the kimchi container handle and strained.
It was too much for a nine-year-old to carry that and ride a bus all the way to Ahyeon-dong.
“Forget it. I’ll go.”
“Mom even drew a map.”
Yeonhwa brought a piece of paper with a hand-drawn map from the cupboard.
“What do you need a map for?
If you just have the address, you can find…”
No, that’s not right.
This was an era without GPS.
“How’s someone supposed to find the place just from the address if he’s not a real estate agent?”
“Exactly.”
The moment I looked at the map, I felt suffocated.
Wasn’t this a pilgrimage route?
Saturday afternoon.
I got off at Ahyeon Station after taking Bus 103.
Following the map, I walked a hundred steps to the left, crossed the crosswalk, and there was an uphill road.
At the end of that road was a dry cleaner, and across from it, the red gate was said to be my eldest brother’s house.
“Damn it!”
This wasn’t a road.
It was a steep slope of more than 45 degrees.
And I couldn’t even see the end of the alley.
Frustration, and more frustration.
I endured the shame of smelling like kimchi on the bus just to come here.
I wanted to throw the kimchi container away right then.
A poem line from a collection a friend had came to mind.
[The wind stops before it climbs, Sillim-dong Mountain 86]
I had thought that verse was nonsense, but now I could understand it seeing the scene before me.
Even the wind would have a hard time climbing this.
Since I had come this far, I figured I had to do what I came for and started climbing slowly.
I could barely breathe.
As I went up, the lack of oxygen made me feel dizzy.
I stopped halfway.
Looking back at the path I’d climbed, it was steep enough for sledding.
What do these people do when it snows in winter?
I used to worry about the hill near our house, but that was nothing compared to this.
“Whew.”
I took several deep breaths and stood up again.
Let’s see who wins this.
My stubbornness kicked in.
I moved my heavy feet upward hundreds of times.
Finally, I spotted the red gate in front of the dry cleaner.
It felt rewarding.
‘They said it’s the room next to the gate.’
I pushed open the unlocked gate and found the wooden door on the right.
There wasn’t a room on the left, so this had to be it.
“Hyung! I’m here.”
I called out while standing in front of the door, but there was no response.
Thinking I’d just leave the kimchi container, I slid open the door.
The layout was similar to our house.
In a space smaller than a pyeong, there was a sink, a cupboard, and a door at waist height.
I was about to leave the kimchi container, but then thought someone might take it, so I opened the door.
A bikini wardrobe, some bedding, and a small bookshelf.
It was barely big enough for two people to lie down.
Everyone really lives tough lives.
Since I was already here, I thought I might as well tidy up the messy room.
I folded the blankets lying on the floor and moved them to the side, swept the room with a broom, and wiped the floor with a rag.
It looked decent now.
I stared blankly at the books on the shelf.
[Liberation Theology]
[Structure of the Korean Economy]
[Torn Landscape]
I opened the book closest to me, Liberation Theology.
It was difficult content.
Liberation theology isn’t about theory but starts with recognizing real-life situations.
Awareness, comprehension, reflection, action.
True theology is about not leaving the field, but confronting injustice and fighting it.
My head ached the whole time I read, so I closed the book halfway through.
The room had gotten dim.
Had time passed already?
I lost track of time reading such a difficult book.
[Hyung, this is kimchi Mom made. —Kang Cheonmyeong]
I placed the note on top of the kimchi container and stood up.
Just then, a strong acrid smell stung my nose.
Before I could think, my body reacted.
My nose burned, and my eyes stung.
The sliding door opened, and my eldest brother walked in.
His eyes were bloodshot, his clothes were dirty, and a pungent, spicy stench wafted in.
‘Did this bastard just come back from a protest?’
“Cheonmyeong, why are you here?”
Hyung smiled warmly, but I exploded.
“Are you insane? You’re out protesting now? Mom’s polishing shoes under an overpass, Yeonhwa’s playing paper keys because she can’t afford a melodica! What about that fool Daemyung? You’re the eldest son—you can’t live like this!”
Hyung blinked as if in shock.