The Love They Never Had

"Why didn't you tell me what she was doing to you?" "I didn't think anyone would care, to be honest; whether I am locked indoors for days on end, what I eat, how I occupy my time…who cares as long as I am following your rules?" "I care." She hesitated when I proclaimed this, but she didn't loose her composure at all. "Thank you for the food, My Lord…" "why do you call me that?" "Because that is what you are" "do you know what that means then? If I am a Lord, then I am mighty enough to have possessions." "Of course, you work hard so it wouldn't be inappropriate to want to have possessions. Do you know what you want?' "I want a person." She shuddered at those words and nothing give me more pleasure than watching her squirm uncomfortably and avoid my gaze. "You…you want women…" "I don't want women. I want a singular woman." "so…you want to have a concubine?" "I do not believe in keeping women for that sort of purpose. I will only have one wife in this lifetime…and I would be completely faithful to her." "That is a sweet notion, but as long as men are entitled to have concubines and take on mistress without having to face any repercussions, the notion of faithful men died out long ago…or maybe they never even existed." She replied sadly while she tried to eat again. "Your father was a devoted man; he never took on a single concubine and had never been unfaithful to your mother. He was as rigid as men come when they are devoted to their work, but he loved and pampered your mother greatly." I shouldn't have brought it up, that was the one rule that Hwi had for me as soon as we met; I was not allowed to mention their parents at all, otherwise she would wallow in sadness for days on end. We ate in silence until it was time to part ways…but I didn't want her to leave yet. But The Lady Min found me once again and started arguing with me out of nowhere about the incident that took place earlier and she wouldn't drop the subject at all.

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. "Why did you do that? And in front of the help as well! How could you…how could you expect me to do her work…" "Just because she doesn't share our noble status it doesn't mean that she is a slave either! She is a free woman and I will treat her how I please!" "How you please! Are you joking! You might as well just take her in as a concubine after we marry if you're going to continue to obsess about her this way!"

They must have forgotten that I was there or something but from the moment she uttered that last sentence, I nearly almost passed out in shock…what dud she mean by 'obsess' about me? He did…act weird around me lately, but now he couldn't keep me at distance more even if he tried. "You…tricked me into this marriage in the first place, so what business is it of yours what I do with her? I only took her to eat for goodness sake." "Only to eat? Do you think that I and every servant in here hasn't noticed how you excessively pamper her? Feed her? Clothe her? Indulge her every whim and desire? Does she even know how much you spend on her necessities? And does she even know that you picked out almost everything yourself, including the same brand of perfume that I wear!" Seon-Ho…he was taking care of me…that's all… "she's like a sister to me, of course its my duty to look after her."

"You do not fool me, Nam Seon-Ho, you have been over protective over her since we were children. Don't you remember how you basically tackled me to the ground when I even mentioned her epilepsy when you were first brought here. Now as soon as we marry, you must cut her off because I will not support you taking in any concubines at all." "Oh really? And what if I tell you that I refuse to marry you and I will not be present as that wedding stage even if my father beat me within an inch of my life…unless I marry her as well?"

You could have heard a pin drop a mile away, the tension between the three of us was so thick that I couldn't stand it. He…he must have just been trying to provoke her…he didn't mean it at all. "You want to commit the same mistake as your father and marry a lowborn bitch like that! Have you really not learned from his mistakes?"

It was at this point I decided that I was not going to hide anymore and I was not going to let him be subjected to this rubbish. I knew deep down that no matter how much his father tried to brainwash him against his mother, she was his first love as my father was my own. Even I had loved her when she was alive; after the death of my mother I followed her around everywhere, hoping childishly that she would take me in as her own daughter.

I stormed out of my room before he could say anything at all, and I slapped her to the ground so viciously that you could hear her scream for almost a mile away if Seon-Ho didn't cover her mouth in time. "How dare you! Who are you to make any comments about his mother at all! How dare you show s much disrespect to your mother-in-law! Unless you're only marrying him for this family's wealth and glory?" I was well aware that I held everyones attention right now and that I was lashing out, but I was so sick and tired of being in this greedy and selfish environment that was the complete opposite of what my father and brother had brought me up in as well as keeping up my double act and worrying about both men on top of it. I felt like I was going to explode and I needed to get out of here for a while….so when I saw that she was up on her feet again and was going to come for me, I let it happen as an excuse to storm out for a while. She had her hands wrapped around my throat and was screaming all sorts of vulgarities at me until Seon-Ho finally managed to get her off of me I made my exit as soon as I could whilst he tried to reason with her to no avail, but not without telling him that I would accompany him to The Lantern Festival.

I had only recently received the news of Moon-Bok's success in the palace and that was why normal life slowly crept up on everyone again, including The Lantern Festival which forced all of us to break away from our every day stress and burdens and mingle with one another. I knew that Seon-Ho was still adjusting to what I had been put through in the brothel and I could only be grateful that he was still wiling to try and reconnect with me after all of the torment that we had both suffered that we still needed to talk about if we were going to ever move past this obstacle that we were having trouble facing. "So what is the underlying issue? You need to tell me, because I am not a mind-reader." "Other men saw you, other men spoke to you, other men wanted you , other men gifted you things. Forgive me my love, but I am only being truthful when I say that I wanted to lock you up and only have you to myself from the moment that you woke up under my father's roof. You and I both know that it is in my nature to exploit those around me and you are no exception, but that doesn't mean that I want to share your beauty and talent with the rest of the world. I promised your bother that I would keep you away from the palace and I fully intend to do so…" "So you want me to open my legs, mouth and mind up for you when it suits you?" "I want you to become the mother of my children and raise them in a nurturing environment to be the best that they can be! I want you in our home where safe, where I can find you and my family always. In order for me to work and become successful, I need to have peace of mind and that will only happen when you care committed to raising a family! My family! So I want you to tell me your plans so that I can carry them out on your behalf whilst put in every effort into giving me as many children as you possibly can! And I know that after everything that you have been through, it is what you desperately crave for as well. I know that you are so much more than a mere housewife, and I will give you the appropriate amount of freedom after marriage, but I need you to do this for me as well." "Give you children? Become pregnant for the res of my life like some breeding mule?" "And I still will never take in nay concubine and mistress. But…in the event that I do make a mistake, you can leave me forever if I slip up in that way and I shall never try to find you or interfere with your life again."

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"Look at all of these precious lanterns! They are so colourful and precious!" "How pretty! I really want to take some home now!" "My Lady! Look! It is The Young Master Nam up ahead!" "Really? He told me that he was too busy to attend today? Why did she change his mind at the last minute?" "Let us go over to him so that you can both finally be tougher without that girl coming in the way…no, wait! Look! There she is! Right in front of him!" "Young Master Nam, is this really what you meant by 'important matters?' How could he do this to me?" "Maybe we should just head back? My Lady?" "Why should we be the ones to leave? I would just like to see how happy they can be together without me! In fact, go over to him and tell him that u have fainted in my chambers! Quickly! Go!" "Yes, My Lady!" I watched on from my carriage how my only servant who was sill willing to serve me since my childhood untruly fail in her one job to persuade the Young Master Nam to visit me at least once after my many attempts to woo him over. But I should have known that I was invisible to him whenever he pulled and dragged Yeon around as if she was some doll project he was working on to keep up for appearance only.

"Young Master Name, I truly love you so much and I have done so much for you, but this is how you choose to repay me back? She is the one who is constantly in your thoughts? Why on earth do you treat me like this? First your enemy, The Third Prince and now yourself? Am I really invisible to the world after seeing you men up to be where you are now? Why do you all deceive me eery single day after giving me so much hope? I am the only one worthy of becoming your lawfully-wedded wife, not Seo Yeon the epileptic orphan girl! How many chances must I give you? How many more times will you disappoint me? Very well, if I cannot have you, then no-one else will get a chance to either.