The Misadventures of Rodrick and his Assistant

Rodrick, his body soaked with a disgusting and sticky liquid, landed on the dirty asphalt ground with a thud. Panicking, he jumped to his feet, looking flabbergasted by what was happening.

He looked at his right hand, which was holding the remaining empty cone of a strawberry ice cream. He had just been enjoying a morning walk near Central Park only to be hit by something and then black out.

"I was ambushed!" He exclaimed before warily looking around. Fortunately, there wasn't anyone after him.

He stood in an empty and cramped alley for a minute before stepping into the street. The first thing that caught his attention was the unfamiliar architecture, wholly different to the one found in New York.

Furthermore, the vehicles passing by were old and had six wheels.

"No… seriously, what the fuck is going on?"

Rodrick grabbed his head, cursing and mumbling to himself. When a couple of passersby looked at him, he quickly composed himself and faked a cough before walking away.

Scarce had he walked ten feet did he hear a buzzing sound in his head.

*System A.I has been installed. Initiating link with user Rodrick Dick*

Freaked out, Rodrick stood there, dumbfounded as a disembodied voice spoke to him.

Greeting user, I'm the newly programmed System Artificial Intelligence in charge of you. Let's get along.

"What?"

While drawing a deep breath, Rodrick only managed to say that one word.

You have been chosen to undertake a world-saving mission. Here is your first mission:

Kill a sentient living person.

Roulette has failed, no assistance will be offered.

Failure will result in termination of the user.

16 hours 14 minutes remain.

"Hold on a damn second! Where am I? And what are you?"

Unable to process anything that was happening, Rodrick kept bombarding the System A.I questions.

"I am your trusted and helpful assistant. With my guidance, you will save the world."

"I didn't ask for any of this shit! I want to go home!"

"I cannot answer questions not pertinent to the mission."

"Like hell you can't! And what do you mean by termination? I'm a con artist, not a killer!"

As he shouted in frustration, Rodrick, again, garnered attention from the passerby. None approached him, but their piercing looks made it abundantly clear that they saw him as a madman.

"Okay okay… let's calm down."

Rodrick sprinted away, soon finding an empty and quiet backstreet. He sat on an old wooden box and started organizing his thoughts.

He was certain he had been taking a morning walk near the Central Park. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, so how could any of this happen.

"This isn't some reincarnation or transmigration bullshit, is it?"

"I cannot answer questions not pertinent to the mission."

"Artificial Intelligence my ass! You're useless!"

"User should speak politely to his loyal assistant."

"Fuck you!"

Rodrick flipped his middle finger, though there was no one to point it at.

For now, he decided to ignore the A.I and study his surroundings. First and foremost, he wasn't in New York, but he couldn't ascertain that he was in another world. Those six-wheeled old-looking vehicles were strange, but they weren't enough of a confirmation.

The architecture of the building reminded him of Europe, but, earlier, he noticed that the citizens were wearing strange outfits, for want of a better word. 

'Am I in a mix of the mediaeval and steampunk world? Nonono, let's think about the mission first.'

Rodrick had gotten into a few fights, but he was never a violent person. He had a way of words, which allowed him to amass a fortune by swindling people, but that was it. He couldn't kill another person, even if his life depended on it.

"Let's assume I'm in another world and this isn't just a dream. How am I supposed to kill someone? And what falls into the category of 'sentient living being?'

"User, a sentient living being is a self-explanatory term."

"You motherfuc… agh! What about actual assistance? Give me a gun or something!"

Rodrick kicked the wooden box, then grabbed his greasy long hair, pulling it out of anger.

"You're just asking me to die! Ahh! Take me back home! I don't want to save the world!"

Like a lunatic, Rodrick raged and flailed his legs and arms like a child.

This fit of rage lasted for five minutes, stopping only when he ran out of breath.

Not unlike a bipolar person, Rodrick regained his calmness and sat on the ground.

"What constitutes killing a person?"

"Ending a life is considered killing."

"I know that, but do I have to do the killing? Like, does a kill-steal work?"

"I am not familiar with the term Kill-steal."

"You've got to be the most useless A.I I've seen."

"That is not kind, user."

Rodrick snorted and spat on the ground, feeling irritated by the A.I's monotone and annoying voice.

"I'm not killing anyone. I have a plan and if it doesn't work… then fuck it, terminate me or whatever."

"What is the plan, user?"

"I ain't telling you shit. Don't talk to me, okay?"

Rodrick stood up and began wandering around. As someone completely unfamiliar with the layout of this place, he didn't have a destination in mind, however, he did search for places that weren't that populated and seemed rather dangerous and shady.

As the clock was ticking, he couldn't stop by and observe what kind of city this was, but he was slowly but surely understanding the setting.

Several hours and the sun started to set; Rodrick's empty stomach growled from hunger and his parched throat yearned for water. 

When the canopy was turning dark, Rodrick was exhausted and at his wit's end. He did eventually find a place that resembled the slums, but even then, finding a suitable target was extremely difficult.

One more thing he learnt was the people, weirdly enough, spoke English. When he tried asking the System if that was its doing or not, he was, expectedly, no good answer.

"I'm going to die. It's over for me…" Rodrick lamented his own fate, regretting not spending the money he had saved up to enjoy a life of luxury.

No matter how much he saved, it never seemed enough for him, but now, it didn't look like he would be able to spend it.

The sky turned dark and the dirty streets of the slums were enveloped in a veil of ominous darkness. The decrepit houses seemed haunted and the few people loitering around were malnourished and begging for food.

Rodrick, who was wearing his new black suit, did garner a lot of attention. Unsurprisingly, three scary-looking men started following him. They didn't bother hiding themselves, their intentions blatantly displayed.

With quickened steps, Rodrick tried to run away from them but, in no time, they surrounded him.

With his back against the wall, Rodrick looked around, spotting several homeless children scurrying away in fear.

With a friendly smile, Rodrick rubbed his hands together and spoke,

"Gentlemen, how can I help you?"

The man on the left, who was the bulkiest, clicked his tongue,

"Hand over your money, Uppie."

"Uppie?"

The man, growing more annoyed, "I don't know what an Uppie is doing here, but it ain't your lucky day. Give us all your money."

"And his suit too! It looks expensive!" Chirped one of the other two.

"I don't have any coins on me." Rodrick did pick up a couple of things, such as the currency used in this world. He saw people buying things using bronze and silver coins.

"But you can have this." 

Rodrick pulled his left sleeve, revealing a silver watch.

The bulky man's eye shone with greed: He took a step forward and extended his large hand.

"This is my family's heirloom. It's been passed down for generations!"

Rodrick slowly spun his wrist, showcasing the intricately-designed watch.

"I'm sure it would fetch a high price and change your lives."

"Give it here!" Snapped at the man, which urged Rodrick to quickly remove the watch and politely hand it to him.

Pleased to have such a prized possession, the man fiddled with the watch while grinning. His two friends also approached him, all their eyes on the watch.

Grabbing this chance, Rodrick sprung into a mad sprint. Despite his fatigue, he exerted all of his remaining strength to get away from them.

He could hear them shouting and giving chase, but they weren't able to catch up, at least not until Rodrick found himself in a dead-end.

With a stone wall blocking his way, he turned around, raised his hands, and awkwardly laughed.

"You little shit!"

The bulky man, with a pipe in his hand, was charging at him with the intention to swing his blunt and potentially deadly weapon.

"Stop thy misdeed, you evil man!"

At that point, a knife fell down near the bulky man's feet, stopping him at his tracks.

"What the-"

Everyone, including Rodrick, raised their heads towards the rooftop of the building on the right. 

"No crime should go unpunished!"

There, much to everyone's disbelief, stood a masked short individual. He had a black cape and wore a ridiculous mask that only showed his eyes.

With a double-edged blade in hand, the masked man struck a childish pose.

"I will punish all evildoers!"

"Run away! Run run!"

The three thugs, overcome with fear, immediately turned around and ran.

"What the fuck?!"

As for Rodrick, he was speechless by the sight of the masked man, who leapt from the roof.

The few seconds that followed were out of a movie: The masked man, nimble and swift, descended upon the thugs, stabbing them on the back before sheathing his blade.

Still shocked, Rodrick watched the masked man retrieve his watch and approach him.

"Your watch, sir."

He scrutinized Rodrick before bowing,

"You shouldn't wander in the slums by your lonesome. Hurry back home."

Then, he left as fast as he had appeared, leaving a dumbfounded Rodrick behind.

"A bat-man looking ass just saved me. System, where in the actual fuck have I been sent to?"

"It appears you were lucky, user."

Rodrick snapped out of it when he heard a groan. The bulky man, covered in his own blood, turned on his back and raised his hand, seemingly asking for help.

"Well…"

Rodrick crouched next to him, first studying the fatal wound, and then placing his hand on the man's bloody chest. 

"This is your chance, user."

"I'm not killing anyone, I told you. Also, shut up."

Once he made sure he touched the man, Rodrick stood up and staggered backwards. He vomited, though there was nothing in his stomach to actually vomit. He just gagged there for about a minute before walking away from the crime scene.

"User, the man is about to die. Finish your missi-"

The System A.I was interrupted by the System itself.

*Mission completed.

Next mission will be announced at midnight.*

While gasping for breath, Rodrick leaned against a wall and smiled. He was still traumatized by what he had just seen, nevertheless, the fact his plan worked made him incredibly relieved.

"So that was a kill-steal. Splendid work, user."

Rodrick ignored the dry praise of the A.I and thought about the System itself. The mission had clear instructions, but he just discovered it was possible to trick it, so to speak.

Even though he didn't literally kill a person, him touching a dying man still counted as a kill. Admittedly, it was nonsensical, but since it worked, it didn't matter to Rodrick.

'It wasn't even a kill-steal. However, since the System registered it as a success, it means there are loopholes I can make use of in the future.'

"How many missions must I do? And can I even go back to my world?"

"The System's main objective is the Grand Plan. The Grand Plan is mysterious and important. You are a user that will save the world!"

"So I have to complete missions like this one everyday? Are you kidding me? Why don't you just tell me to go die?!"

"The missions are not determined by the Assistant A.I. My role is to assist you, User."

Rodrick grumbled, "What about rewards? Don't I get any?"

"Saving the world is the greatest reward, User. You are lucky to have been chosen!"

"Tell me something useful for once, goddamnit!"

"By completing missions, I will be granted access to important information. For example, I now know that this city is one of many 'Districts'. It is called Lineage and it is isolated from-"

"Do I look like I care about the lore? Give me money so I can eat!"

Disgruntled, Rodrick swiftly left the slums and began wandering around. Desperate, he started shouting the trash for food but found nothing edible.

By midnight, he was so overcome with thirst and hunger that even walking was difficult.

As he was losing hope, he saw a small fountain in a circular plaza. Rodrick hurriedly approached it and scooped some of the water.

It had a weird taste, but it satiated my thirst. Plus, it wasn't like he had the luxury of choosing right now.

Just as he finished drinking, he heard the buzzing sound, followed by the System.

*Second mission: Kidnap a noble lady and keep her confined until midnight.*

When he heard that, Rodrick started coughing, his legs giving in and his body falling on the ground.