MTLNOVEL 13
“It’s obesity.”
‘What?’
“What?”
Ugh. I thought I had finally reached the point where people could understand me. Obviously, the question had come from Kyle.
Noticing the irritation in the Grand Duke’s voice, the veterinarian trembled slightly.
“Th-that is… When His Highness’s companion ham— I mean, his rodent-type beast showed signs of appetite loss and reduced activity, I conducted an examination, and….”
His overly formal tone was suffocating. I was probably the only hamster in the world being treated with this level of respect.
Well, I guess it made sense. The Grand Duke himself cherished me, so the vet couldn’t exactly say, ‘This rat here…’ Not if he wanted to keep his head. Even though he wasn’t speaking informally to Kyle, he still risked being executed for blasphemy.
Unfair? Sure. But what could I do? This was a world where status outranked species.
“I found no external injuries, nor any abnormal symptoms like vomiting or diarrhea, making it difficult to suspect any illness. There was no abdominal pain when I pressed on the stomach, either. However, when I examined it more closely….”
“When you examined it?”
Kyle urged him to continue, his face serious. The veterinarian, shaking as if he had been threatened with death, stammered out his next words.
“…It was just belly fat!”
I had gotten fat.
Lying on my side, I stared at the two of them in turn. What? What are you looking at? Never seen a fat hamster before? Yeah, I bet you haven’t. Take a good look while you can. You won’t see this again.
Of course, I had a pretty good idea why I’d gained weight. I had eaten way too much this morning. Northern food was surprisingly delicious. No, scratch that—human food in general was delicious. Try gnawing on dried pollock for days, then finally eating real food. Even plain rice would taste like heaven.
[(^(00)^)]
‘…Did I really eat that much?’
This morning, I had helped out with an event thanks to Sen’s introduction. My job was to make and distribute fried sandwiches. The servants didn’t want to deal with the oil splattering everywhere, so I volunteered to do it instead.
Who am I? Back in my university days, I worked part-time at a fast-food franchise in a prime Gangnam district for four years just to afford tuition. I was a frying master.
With my exceptional frying skills, I quickly became the go-to person for all fried dishes, regardless of status.
Ducking out of sight whenever I could, I snuck bites—one bite of a sandwich, one bite of a twisted doughnut. One bite of a sandwich, one bite of a twisted doughnut. Then a donut. Then some fried meat… One bite turned into ten, and I lost count of how many times that happened.
In short, I ate until I was stuffed for a solid thirty minutes.
Kyle never gave me fried food for the sake of my “health.” Do you know how much I missed this high-calorie goodness?
Judging by how they made the newbie do all the dirty work, I’d say they were hazing me. But that was fine. Thanks for the food, suckers.
Even if it meant rolling in a field of dog shit, life as a human—or at least, eating human food—was worth it.
As I left the kitchen, patting my belly, the servants commented that the food portions seemed smaller than expected. Not my problem. I shamelessly pretended I had no idea. The frigid Northern air had thickened my skin.
That was what had happened this morning.
“But Cashew Nut hasn’t eaten anything since this morning!”
Kyle practically roared.
Of course, I hadn’t eaten. If you had devoured a whole box of fried food, would you still be tempted by a few measly peanuts? No, thank you. You eat them.
To be fair, I hadn’t planned on just eating. My original goal was to prevent the chandelier incident by getting someone to inspect the central chandelier in the banquet hall.
The problem was that my words had no credibility.
Even if I tried to insist that the chandelier needed to be checked, who would believe some random, unidentified creature?
Instead of taking me seriously, they scolded me for daring to question a gift from the imperial palace. Then, to top it off, they dumped a bunch of baskets in my arms, telling me I better fry the food properly unless I wanted to get into trouble.
Anyway, after stuffing myself in the morning and then sleeping all afternoon, Kyle had gone into full-blown crisis mode. He had been so desperate when he explained to the vet that I had no appetite and lacked energy.
“Check again. Are you sure there isn’t some kind of growth inside?”
Although the vet clearly doubted Kyle’s medical expertise, he obligingly pressed on my belly again out of courtesy. His fingers kneaded my soft stomach, then he shuddered and spoke again.
“It’s really just fat….”
A suffocating silence fell over the room.
Okay, I get it, so stop touching my stomach already. You’re trembling so much that my whole body is vibrating.
“I see….”
Kyle spoke in a tone that suggested he absolutely did not see. I quietly climbed off the vet’s palm and clung to Kyle’s elbow.
Calm down, man. The vet said I gained weight, so I gained weight. It’s not like being a fat hamster is a death sentence. I’ll be polite and nibble on a few things at dinner, okay?
Maybe my silent reassurance reached him, because Kyle absentmindedly stroked my back with his fingertips.
“…How can something this cute be obese?”
The shock must have really hit him hard. His logic had left the Northern region altogether.
The vet seemed to share my sentiment, but he wisely kept his mouth shut and bowed his head. Well, he only had one life. Couldn’t blame him for wanting to keep it.
“I suppose we’ll have to manage this carefully from now on.”
“Indeed, Your Highness. Regular management is crucial. It’s best to encourage frequent exercise and avoid oily foods. Feeding boiled vegetables would be beneficial. And… I understand that His Highness’s rodent-type beast is still in its growth phase?”
My growth plates closed over a decade ago, you fools.
“When the growth phase ends, the body size will increase, and the issue should gradually resolve. So please don’t worry too much, Your Highness. Time will take care of it.”
“Right. That makes sense.”
“Do mature beast-type creatures tend to be large?”
“Bigger than this.”
“In that case, you may need to replace things like the exercise wheel and hideout. Possibly even the entire enclosure if necessary.”
Without a moment’s hesitation, Kyle answered,
“I can replace them a hundred times over.”
The sheer devotion was almost tear-jerking. So, it wasn’t just immense wealth—there was an overwhelming amount of love involved, too.
“By the way, you mentioned regular management.”
Kyle pondered for a moment before continuing.
“Your skills seem decent, and this little one will continue to grow. How about settling down in the North?”
“The North…?”
The veterinarian looked as though he couldn’t believe his ears.
And who could blame him? Kyle had been scowling ever since the vet had started examining me. He must have been utterly baffled as to why he was suddenly being recruited.
Still, it wasn’t a bad proposal, and a hint of excitement showed on the vet’s face.
Wait a minute. Did this guy appear in the original novel?
[Veterinarian. Estimated time until death: Approximately 15 days remaining.]
Why is everyone on a damn time limit?
‘Can’t you tell me how he dies?’
[Belial’s mother and the current Empress, Serena Meinhardt, has an elderly cat that falls ill. The veterinarian is executed immediately after the cat’s death for failing to help.]
That was beyond ridiculous.
‘Does she think veterinarians are gods or something?’
Aging and dying were universal across all species. Killing a vet just because a cat couldn’t live forever? That Empress was out of her mind.
Since the cat was on its last legs, the vet had probably joined the Northern expedition as a desperate escape plan. Most likely, he made up an excuse about taking care of the horses pulling the carriages.
If he had a solid reason to stay in the North, it would be the perfect chance to survive. As he crunched the numbers in his head, his expression brightened more and more.
“I will make sure you are compensated generously. You will also receive proper treatment and respect.”
Forget the money—what he needed was a guarantee that he wouldn’t be executed! This clueless bastard! Tell him that even if I die, he won’t!
“Is there anything else you wish for? I can speak to His Highness the Crown Prince on your behalf.”
Whether it was this guy or that guy, royals were all unpredictable. The vet still hesitated, but in the end, he must have decided that an obese hamster had better survival odds than a dying cat.
“It would be an honor to accept Your Grace’s offer.”
That’s the spirit!
As a show of approval, I hopped off Kyle’s hand and placed my tiny paw on the vet’s arm. Good choice. This is the path to a long life.
[Fate has changed, and a character who was supposed to die has survived!]
[Miracle Value has increased!]
[Current Miracle Value: 11.0%]
Whoa. A whole 3% boost. Saving lives is the real jackpot.
My eyes gleamed with realization. If a no-name vet from the original novel was worth 3%, how much would saving Kyle be worth?
Come on, System. Slap an extra zero onto that. Let’s go big.
[Current ‘Reload’ duration: 1 hour.]
The ability had always been stuck at 30 minutes, but it seemed passing 10% Miracle Value had extended it.
About time. If this had happened earlier, I could’ve eaten thirty more fried snacks—
…Wait, no. I needed to stop thinking like that. At this rate, I’d forget how to walk.
A hamster’s body was brutally honest. Everything I ate turned straight into fat. At least my human form wasn’t gaining weight along with it. That was the one silver lining.
“Cashew Nut.”
The vet, now relieved about his extended life expectancy, looked cheerful again. But Kyle… Kyle still looked like a man carrying the weight of the world.
Like he had just received a terminal diagnosis.
Listen, you actual terminal cases—I was the one technically supposed to be dead. Hell, maybe I already was.
…but the System said miracles could bring people back to life. I might as well trust the damn thing.
“You heard the explanation earlier, right?”
Your Highness, normal hamsters do not understand human speech.
“Regular exercise is crucial.”
Kyle placed me inside my enclosure, his voice grave with determination.
I ignored him and sprawled out on the spot. Exercise? What exercise? I had already run a thousand laps on that wheel. That was my lifetime quota. You do the exercise.
“Hurry up. You like this, don’t you?”
He anxiously spun the wheel with his finger, making it turn like a Ferris wheel. Oh? Look at him go. Keep spinning it, let’s see how long you last.
“Cashew Nut, please.”
—Squeak. (Nope.)
“Just one lap. Hm?”
—Squeak squeak. (Do it yourself.)
Not interested. Food digests naturally with time. A chubby hamster is still cute. Just accept it.
‘But seriously, what do I do about Belial?’
After our last confrontation, Belial had completely stopped coming to the study. As a hamster, I had no way of finding out what he was up to.
Tracking him down wouldn’t be too hard, but I wasn’t getting into any restricted areas as a servant. Even if I had ten hours of ‘Reload’ instead of just one, it wouldn’t help.
‘…To stop the chandelier incident, I have to keep him from attending the banquet.’
But how?
Just thinking about it gave me a headache. System, isn’t this trial a little too much for a hamster? Can we get a beginner mode, please?
[(:3」∠)]
Oh, now even the System’s lying down.
Fine. Me too.
After watching Kyle’s increasingly desperate attempts to entertain me, I eventually dozed off, feeling warm and drowsy.