19
Blink, blink.
In the pitch-black void, only the bright blue system window flickered. As I finally regained my senses, I let out a deep sigh and reached toward the glowing window.
[ヽ(*。>Д<)o゜]
Hey, hey. Don’t cry. I’ve already died once, so what’s the big deal? But seriously, I thought I was really going to die that time. Just because you’ve died once doesn’t mean the second time is any easier. When I felt the overwhelming pressure of the chandelier plummeting toward me, I briefly considered biting my tongue and passing out instead. In the end, I really did faint, I guess.
I nervously reached out as if stroking the flickering system window and spoke.
“I’m still unconscious, right?”
[Would you like to disable ‘Reload’? ≧ ﹏ ≦]
“No, no. Don’t disable it completely, just restore my consciousness for a bit.”
If I suddenly disabled it and I was still in the grand banquet hall or surrounded by people, it would be a disaster. More importantly, Kyle… He’s already suspicious of me. If I disappear in front of him again, I won’t even have an excuse this time.
[Restoring consciousness!]
[10…….]
[9…….]
A countdown?
I stared blankly at the descending numbers before my eyes widened in alarm.
‘……Wait. Wait a second. No way.’
[1…….]
In an instant, my distant consciousness snapped back into place. I gasped sharply, like someone who had just been pulled out of the water, and at the same time, bit down hard on my lower lip to stifle the scream rising in my throat.
“Nggh…!”
Shit. Shit. This is insane! How is this even possible? Is it supposed to hurt this much?!
My whole body trembled violently as I curled up into a tight ball. My vision blurred. My back, which had taken the full force of the chandelier, burned. It felt like red-hot iron skewers had been driven into my skin.
I clenched the fabric of my collar tightly and forced myself to scan my surroundings.
At least, it seemed like no one was here. And the location… Right, I thought this place looked familiar. This was the study.
Kyle must have brought me here.
At least that’s a relief…
“Hey! System! Disable… disable it! Now!”
I shouted in desperation. The first time I died, it had been so quick that I hadn’t even registered the pain. But this—this was no joke. So that’s why there was a countdown. It was to give me time to prepare myself.
A white flash, like the glow of the chandelier, filled my vision.
By the time I blinked my eyes open, I was already back in my hamster house.
—Squeak! (Ack!)
My body slid down and tumbled off the slide, landing with a thud.
System! Can’t you set my landing properly?!
[(;′⌒`)]
……Yeah. You’re probably as rattled as I am.
I let out a long sigh and flopped onto the bedding.
Ahh. My body and mind both feel wrecked.
At least the crisis was over, but did I really just take that massive chandelier with my back?
Unbelievable.
If it weren’t for Reload, I’d be dead for sure. No, honestly, the only reason I made that decision in the first place was because it wasn’t my real body. Or rather, I didn’t even have time to think—the instinct to move had just kicked in first.
‘Kyle must be freaking out.’
I turned onto my side and reached toward my back, where I had landed hard after falling off the slide.
I couldn’t reach.
I turned the other way and tried with my other hand.
Still couldn’t reach.
After scratching at the empty air for a moment, I gave up and dropped my hand.
……Ugh.
The doctors entered the study five minutes later.
I sat at the front of my little house, piling up some bedding to make a cushion as I observed the scene.
The doctors were clearly in shock as they looked around—there was no patient, only a bloodstained outfit strewn across the sofa.
‘Well, that’s understandable.’
The Grand Duke had personally given urgent orders, yet the patient had completely disappeared.
“W-Where… where did they go?”
“Search everywhere!”
The doctors debated among themselves, then proceeded to check under the sofa, under the desk, even under the table. Only after finding nothing did they leave the study, muttering about ghosts.
Come on. I’m not an assassin. What kind of patient would hide under the furniture?
About two minutes later, a set of heavy, urgent footsteps approached. The study door burst open.
A man strode in, but halted abruptly in front of the sofa.
His fists clenched tightly for a moment before he turned toward the knights outside and issued a sharp command, his voice laced with anger.
“Search the surroundings. They couldn’t have gone far.”
Uh… Your Grace? That sounded way too much like a villain’s line.
The sound of the knights scattering to follow his orders faded into the distance. Kyle stood there, head bowed, rubbing his temple.
I quietly watched him.
What’s the big deal? Missing means missing. Why are you so worked up?
Anyway, once I save you and max out the Miracle stat, I’ll be back where I belong.
‘So don’t get too attached. Whether it’s to a hamster or a person.’
I hugged a macadamia nut like a cushion.
Kyle picked up the clothes I had left behind.
The once-white tailcoat was so thoroughly soaked in red that its original color was barely distinguishable. The back was completely torn, and the bloodstains looked impossible to remove, even with a thorough wash.
That must have been an expensive outfit.
“……I shouldn’t have accepted this flower.”
After staring at my clothes for a long time, Kyle muttered to himself.
The flower pinned to his chest had lost several petals, leaving it tattered.
It was already red, but now, stained with my blood, even the leaves were smeared with crimson.
“Then we wouldn’t have danced.”
His voice was heavy with guilt.
But dance or no dance, this would have happened anyway.
Belial still attended the banquet, and because of that, I still had to throw myself forward.
It was entirely my choice, my doing.
‘Well, what can you do?’
Sorry.
Your hamster has guts.
***
Despite the chaos, the grand banquet still ended successfully.
After leaving me in bed, Kyle had returned to the banquet hall and somehow managed to handle the situation.
There had been protests from the capital nobles about the Crown Prince nearly getting hurt, but Kyle shut them up by reminding them that the annual budget allocated to the North was less than half of what the capital received.
On top of that, rumors spread that the chandelier had actually been a gift from the capital.
The Imperial Family’s own present had nearly caused a catastrophe, and a Northerner—me—had stopped it.
In the end, everything was smoothed over.
“But… are you really okay?”
Sen scanned me with a worried look, inspecting me from head to toe.
“I’m fine.”
I waved her off, trying to divert her attention.
This was the third time she’d asked.
Of course, I wasn’t actually fine.
Thanks to the system’s intervention last night, I wasn’t in agony like before, but if someone even tapped my back, I’d probably leap to the ceiling.
I scooted slightly away from Sen as I took a bite of the maple pecan pie she had brought me.
The sweet, nutty flavor provided some comfort to my aching body.
“……Also, last night, I went to see His Highness Belial.”
I nearly spat out my pie.
I turned to her, eyes wide.
“What? Why?”
“He got cut by glass shards while shielding me, so I treated his wounds. You know how chaotic everything was yesterday… Though, honestly, half the chaos was people looking for you.”
She shot me a suspicious look again.
Don’t look at me like that. I had my reasons. Okay?
“Anyway, it wasn’t a serious injury. …Though if he hadn’t shielded me, he wouldn’t have gotten hurt at all.”
Watching her troubled expression, I casually finished off my pie and said,
“A future king can’t just abandon his people and run. That would be a disgrace.”
“A disgrace?”
“…Uh. I mean, pride?”
Do they not use that expression here?
I awkwardly scratched my nose.
Gotta be careful with slang.
“Hey, listen…”
Sen’s expression darkened.
I waited quietly.
But I already knew what was on her mind. Belial had taken notice of her. She saw this as an opportunity. Her goal was revenge. And to achieve that, she needed to go to the capital. But as a mere maid in the North, entering the Imperial Court wouldn’t be easy. Even getting in wouldn’t be enough.
She’d need power—one way or another.
“What is it? Just say it.”
“……His Highness Belial asked if I’d become his maid.”
That’s exactly the kind of move Belial would make.
A maid who knew the North well, was sharp-witted, and had even caught Kyle’s attention? Having her under his command would feel like a small victory.
Sen knew that Belial’s offer was motivated by pride. But did his intentions really matter? What mattered was that it gave her a way into the Imperial Court—and that she could use the prince’s favor to her advantage.
“That’s great news.”
“……Yeah.”
But Sen didn’t look entirely happy. If anything, she seemed conflicted.
Even though she had been waiting for this moment, leaving wasn’t easy. Had she grown attached to the North without realizing it?
“Sometimes, I wonder…”
Sen spoke softly.
“If maybe… just letting it all go and living my life wouldn’t be such a bad idea.”
Revenge was a swamp. Even if you repaid every injustice, all that would be left was an endless void. The moment you set foot in it, you would slowly, inevitably, sink.
Of course, I understood.
Every time I had suffered injustice, it had eaten away at me, burning me from the inside.
A child who lost their entire family—how could the world be kind to someone like that?
I knew Sen’s feelings.
I had to know.
“Still…”
I started to say something, but closed my mouth.
Still, I knew.
Sen would choose revenge.
I had let go, avoided, and emptied myself because I couldn’t bear the weight of it all.
But she wouldn’t.
She was strong.
I spoke to her in my mind.
That’s why you became Serena in the end.
No matter who possessed this body, that truth never changed.
“Make a choice you won’t regret.”
That was all I could say.
Sen gave a smile that looked like she was about to cry.