The Northern Grand Duke’s Hamster

I placed the edge of my hand against my forehead and looked up. The sun shone brightly in the northern sky, without a single cloud in sight.

“The weather’s nice.”

With an exceptionally bright smile, I took in the beauty of Blake Territory, which seemed even warmer today.

The neatly lined white bricks. The market stalls arranged on both sides of the road. The modest yet inviting shops that stood behind them, each reflecting the touch of human hands.

Right. The shops.

I gazed fondly at the heavy money pouch hanging at my side. It was weighty. According to Kyle, I could probably go from here to there, saying, “Give me everything,” and still be fine.

I wasn’t actually planning to spend it all like that, but money was always best in abundance. Even when I was alive as Baek Soo-hyun, I had never enjoyed such luxury.

…Well, to be precise, I died just before I could.

“Alright, let’s go, porter.”

Shaking off unnecessary thoughts, I turned to Kyle. He was dressed more casually than usual, watching me with one eyebrow raised.

That look won’t work on me. What else am I supposed to call you? Would you prefer I say we’re on a date? You’re the one who insisted on coming along in the first place.

Ignoring Kyle’s reluctant expression, I lifted my heavy money pouch.

No matter what anyone says, today, I’m spending all of this. I’ll use it all and die happy.

It was only after dying once that I realized—money is meant to be spent while you have it. I’ll show the Northern Grand Duke what it means to earn and spend like a hamster. I’ll be the most extravagant spender this world has ever seen.

“Slow down.”

He grabbed me by the scruff of my neck just as I was about to take off running. My excited steps halted as I was yanked backward.

Frowning, I turned to glare at him. I already had a piece of dried meat from a nearby stall in my mouth.

“……”

“Mmgh. Wha’ r’ you’ lookin’ at.”

Why? What are you staring at?

“…Never mind. Just finish eating that first.”

Wow. This is insane. How do they make a sauce like this? Is it even legal for something to taste this good?

I have to buy some.

I immediately bought two bundles of jerky. As I handed over the shiny gold coins, Kyle took the packages and tucked them away for me.

Chewing on the sample jerky, I moved toward the next stall. This one was selling bracelets that supposedly “make you healthier just by wearing them!” A stiff sheet of paper propped up beside the stall boldly claimed:

…Is this just a germanium bracelet? The color even looks similar… It’s obviously a scam.

Kyle, on the other hand, was already inspecting a bracelet with interest.

“Do they have one small enough for a hamster?”

Of course not.

And stop trying to put things on me. What is it with you and magic stones? Oh, my miserable fate.

‘I should have just made up a story about some rare beast that naturally repels mana stones.’

Sighing, I dragged him to the next stall before he could commission a custom order.

“Let’s see. I need some nice clothes, too.”

“Capes! Warm and lightweight!”

“Scarves! Get your scarves here!”

“Delicious monster meat skewers!”

“Buy one bag of peanut snacks, get another free!”

The lively market made me smile naturally.

If something looked good, I bought it. I piled up the goods one by one in the arms of His Grace, the Grand Duke—oh, wait. Not on his right arm. Put them on the left. The right one’s too valuable.

“Sturdy northern elephant-leather boots!”

“Functional pants! The Blake Knights’ favorite training gear!”

I can’t resist.

“Tangy and sweet tangerine candy! Handmade by a master confectioner with 30 years of experience!”

Oh, I definitely can’t resist this.

“Freshly made crepes! Selling for one more day in celebration of our festival selling out!”

Absolutely not missing out on that.

“This is great.”

I spent money like water. The once-heavy pouch grew lighter and lighter, while Kyle’s hands filled up with more and more purchases.

“Why?”

I asked, both hands occupied with crepes. Kyle responded calmly.

“It’s humbler than I expected.”

I’m out here conquering every store I see, and you think this is humble?

I guess, to someone like the Northern Grand Duke, this level of spending must look like a hamster throwing a tantrum. Would I need to buy an entire store to impress him?

“I’m treating today. Want a crepe? There’s raspberry inside.”

I bought two since they looked delicious, and I felt a little bad for making him carry all my stuff like a porter. Ah, such generosity. Truly the spirit of Korea, a country where no one goes hungry.

Kyle slowly shook his head.

“I don’t have a free arm to hold that.”

“…Ah. Right.”

His hands were already full, carrying all of my purchases. I started feeling a little guilty. Sure, I did bring him along as a porter, but still…

He was, after all, the ruler of this land and the undisputed tyrant of the North. Ever since we entered the market, he’d been silently following me, causing shopkeepers who recognized him to nearly pop their eyes out of their sockets.

“Guess there’s no helping it.”

After a brief moment of thought, I lifted my arm and stretched it out, bringing the crepe right up to Kyle’s mouth.

He simply stared down at me, as if the situation was completely foreign to him. What? What else was I supposed to do? Go out and buy him an extra arm?

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

“It’s unexpected.”

Kyle lowered his head and took a bite of the crepe I was holding. A whole corner disappeared in an instant. …Was carrying all that stuff really that tiring?

“You’re the first person who’s ever fed me directly.”

[This is the first time!~ This is the first time! 〜(￣▽￣〜)(〜￣▽￣)〜]

Shut up.

“You’re not some kind of monster, Your Grace. Feeding you isn’t a big deal.”

“Most people find it difficult to even approach me.”

“Well, when I see you every day, it stops feeling like a big deal.”

I said it as if it were nothing.

Sure, in front of others, he might be the solemn and dignified Grand Duke. But to me? He was just a hamster-obsessed weirdo who casually kissed people without warning. It’d be stranger if I still found him intimidating.

“Do we see each other every day?”

…Shit.

“…Recently, yeah. Definitely. I saw you yesterday, the day before that, too.”

I quickly shoved the crepe closer to his mouth and took a bite of my own. Let’s see… Goat’s milk whipped cream with cranberries…

“Sour!”

I let out an involuntary roar, making Kyle flinch.

“…Have you never had whipped cream before?”

“No, I’ve had it dozens of times. But whipped cream is supposed to be soft, fluffy, and slightly sweet! Why the hell is this so sour?! And who thought it was a good idea to add tart cranberries on top of something already sour? It’s twice as—ugh—twice as sour!”

Kyle tilted his head in confusion and took another bite.

“This is how whipped cream is supposed to taste.”

I followed suit and took another bite.

Still sour.

“No way. Crepes are only good when they’re sickeningly sweet.”

Ugh, this man knows nothing. The charm of whipped cream is in its airy, cloud-like sweetness. That’s the real deal.

Back when I was alive, I used to order a slice of whipped cream cake from the café near my office around 9:30 PM. They closed at 10, so I was always their last order of the night. Once a month, on the most miserable days, I’d eat that cake, and all my stress would melt away.

Back then, it just felt exhausting. But looking back now, even that became a kind of nostalgia.

“Is that so…”

Kyle’s expression turned oddly serious.

“If you don’t like it, just throw it away and get something else.”

“What are you talking about? That’d be such a waste. It’s sour, but it’s still edible.”

“Alright. Eat plenty, then.”

Kyle had already finished his crepe. Suddenly, he took my wrist in his hand, turning it this way and that.

“Small and skinny.”

The fuck? I’m taller than the South Korean average, thank you very much. I’ve never once been called small. Slap some insoles in my shoes, and I hit 180 cm. The thin ones, not the thick ones.

“Anyone would look tiny next to Your Grace.”

He let out a low chuckle.

“Make sure you eat plenty of meat, too. Even if I’m protecting you, you should be able to take care of yourself. In Blake Territory, even the support units train in martial arts.”

Kyle licked the whipped cream off his lips and asked,

“What weapons can you use?”

“None.”

“Any special skills?”

“…Let’s see… Languages?”

C counts as a language.

“Not that kind.”

“Uh… Eating a lot?”

The old lady who ran the diner near my office once told me that if my game development failed, I should just start a mukbang channel.

“…Haah.”

He let out a deep sigh.

What? Regretting dragging me around now?

Well, too bad. As long as I had the system and my knowledge of the original story, his future was golden. Sounds a little scammy, but he should just trust me.

“What’s wrong?”

I smirked, teasing him.

“Are you already worried that you won’t be able to protect me?”

The title Conqueror of the North was about to cry. The Grand Duke of Blood—what a joke. He didn’t get that nickname from slaughtering random civilians, did he? If he couldn’t even protect a single non-combatant, he should just give up his lordship.

Kyle caught the underlying taunt in my words, and his eyebrow twitched. Then, he smirked.

“You have a talent for getting under people’s skin.”

“Thanks for the compliment.”

Office workers are born fighters. We argue with clients, we argue with bosses, and we argue with overtime. I might not carry a sword, but I never back down from a fight.

“Where do you want all this stuff?”

Before I knew it, we had reached Blake Castle. Kyle gestured toward the stairs, silently telling me to walk up on my own this time.

Yeah, yeah, I got it. It’s not like I don’t have legs.

I trudged up the stairs like a turtle and replied,

“I’ll just dump it all in some unused storage room.”

“Not in the servants’ quarters?”

“Oh, no. There’s no space. I only go into the break room when Sen is around, anyway.”

“…”

I’ve been floating around wherever I could, squeezing in where possible. There’s no way I’d take up an entire break room just for my stuff.

Whenever Kyle asked where I was, I’d say the break room just to avoid the library… but now that Sen was gone, even I wasn’t shameless enough to keep using it.

“I’ll give you a room.”

Kyle said it so casually, like it was no big deal. Wait, that’s something you can just hand out like that?

“…What? For real?”

“Did you forget? I own this castle.”

Oh. Right.

“I’ll take a room with big windows, then.”

If I’m getting one, might as well get a good one. No need to be modest.

And so, all the things I bought today were neatly stored in my newly assigned room.

At the end of the day, the world runs on money and connections.