Chapter 487: Break My Heart, As Always [5]
[RUKIYA]
[FLASHBACK]
[Still, The evening of Malika and Jer's Wedding]
"D… Don't say anything about it. Assume it didn't happen," Hawi said after their heated makeup session. She was still reeling from the aftereffects of the contact and the fact that this time, she had gone in like she owned Rukiya Greyson.
The fact that the Greyson alpha hadn't once objected to the contact was something else, but then they both knew that she was down so bad for Hawi, the woman who wasn't even sure what she had done right now.
Maybe it was just Hawi grieving and Rukiya was the closest person to her at the moment, maybe it was because the last time she had run away and today she couldn't, or maybe it was because she didn't want to keep speculating about the kiss that never was.
Then again would it make it any better especially now that they had clearly crossed a line? Was it ever going to be just enough for her to tell the alpha to forget the kiss ever happened?
What of their swollen lips? What of the sparks that had erupted at their contact? What of how much she had loved the kiss? What of the emotions she had been feeling when she lured Rukiya in?
And more than anything, would Awuor Hawi deny the safety she felt when she was around the woman? Was she going to be at it again?
"If that's what you wish, Awuor," Rukiya said softly as she turned her focus on the mad woman's leg that was slowly whaling. She had done a good job fixing her earlier and they just had to wait for her to feel a little better before Hawi went back to the Clarkson pack.
"Your leg is healing pretty well. There are some issues I need to sort back home, so I'll take my leave," Rukiya said as she got up and dusted herself up. She had taken the hint clearly and she knew that there was just no point in her pushing forward her attraction to Hawi.
She had been through enough rejections with the woman and while this time, Hawi hadn't quite rejected her, Rukiya figured that she could at least leave with some of her pride. She loved Hawi, but the woman was stubborn and a pain.
Granted, Rukiya had always wanted to stay beside Hawi, and she wanted to be there to console Hawi, especially now that her papa was dead, but then Rukiya was smart to know when she wasn't needed. Maybe she will come back at another time.
Perhaps her advances this time were wrongly timed.
She would just wait for the day Hawi wanted her to show up, and she would come, after all, they had a blood oath between them. Then again, there was a chance that Rukiya would still come even without the blood oath.
"You're leaving?" Hawi said, her voice so soft and different from the prideful one she had been using on Rukiya in the past few weeks.
"Yeah. My people need me," Rukiya said, her tone so neutral that Hawi felt a pang in her heart for the first time in so long. She couldn't explain the sudden emotion and it was new to her, but would she express it to Rukiya this time?
"Oh," Hawi let out defeatedly.
"Take care of yourself alright? And stay alert," Rukiya said, as she kissed Hawi one last time on the forehead and began walking away.
It hadn't been her intention to leave Hawi like that, and she wanted to go back, but she needed to leave. She needed to choose herself this time. She had always shown up for Hawi and fought her battles and right now, Rukiya Greyson needed a break.
"You too. Be careful on your way home, Ruru," Hawi whispered softly as she watched Rukiya leave.
"You still with Hawi?" Malika asked Rukiya barely twenty minutes after Rukiya had left Hawi. She had fixed the woman and hoped to the goddess that Hawi went back home to Clarkson. She was safer there and would possibly be happier.
"No, she went to Clarkson. You shouldn't worry too much, it's your wedding night," Rukiya said tiredly as she looked at the reflection of Malika standing before her in her room. She had already reached Greysin and just wanted to forget about today.
"She called me for help, and I heard waves of water behind her. Was she close to a lake when you left her? Is there a lake close by? Or a source of water? The winds are pretty harsh on this si—" Malika asked.
That was all it took for the tired Greyson alpha to rush out of her room through her window, and in her wolf form. She could hear her warriors readying themselves to follow her, but she ordered them to stay back.
It wasn't the easiest of days for her, but what the fuck was she supposed to do when Hawi was busy testing her patience and fate? Was this all that they would always be reduced to?
One was on the verge of insanity while the other was going insane with worry for the other? Was this what Rukiya wanted?
"You didn't answer me, Rukiya Greyson," Malika stated again, this time, getting into Rukiya's head like it was the easiest of things even though Malika was in Sicario and Rukiya was in Greyson and headed for the lake near Clarkson.
"There is a lake. I'm heading there now. Come with me, please," Rukiya said before she locked Malika out of her head and made it to the lake. There, she saw the sight that would forever haunt her life.
Hawi… Her Hawi was drowning.
Rukiya was too shocked to even say or do anything. She had never thought Hawi was in such a terrible state. She had been an alpha for so long and yet when the woman she loved entered her, she had failed to assess the situation.
"Oh, you poor thing, falling in love with the craziest of them all,'' Malika's voice came through and Rukiya just stared sadly as Malika ran into the water and got Hawi out. It wasn't as hard, but Rukiya snapped out of her trance and joined in to help.
"She'll be fine, young Greyson. She's immortal, she can't exactly die," Malika said and Rukiya just stared at Hawi's unconscious form. She looked so pale and lifeless. Her leg was still unhealed, and that haunted Rukiya even more.
Hawi had jumped just after she had left. What if she had stared longer with Hawi, would Hawi have done that? Would she have tried to hold on to whatever was left of life? Would she have let the young Greyson help her?
"I'm sorry," Ruiya said, as she wiped her tears that were threatening to fall.
"Let it all out, kid. It's okay to feel," Maika said as she hugged Rukiya, who let herself bawl on Malia's shoulder. It was a hard thing for Rukiya to do, but then who the fuck was she supposed to go crying to?
Her mother? The one woman who never looked at her with love unless she wanted something? Her people who depended on her to keep them safe? Her beta who already had his fair share of hell?
"I'm so sorry," Rukiya cried while Malika held her without judgment.