The Villainess Is A Little Crazy

Lidia stood in the middle of the bustling marketplace, staring at the fried chicken in front of her like it held the answers to the mysteries of the universe. It glistened in the sunlight, golden and crispy, practically mocking her with its overpriced glory. Her stomach growled in betrayal, and she cursed it silently.

"Are you buying, or do you just plan on drooling over it all day?" the vendor's voice snapped her back to reality.

Lidia jolted like a thief caught in the act. For a second, she considered running. Maybe if she grabbed the chicken and sprinted, she could—no, no. Bad idea. She forced a smile, though it felt more like a grimace.

"I'll pay," she muttered, her voice wobbling with reluctant determination. "But… uh… could you maybe—just maybe—give me two pieces for three gold coins instead?" Her hands clasped together in a silent plea.

The woman raised an eyebrow, then shrugged. "Sure. Three gold coins for two pieces."

Relief flooded Lidia's chest. "Oh, thank you! You're so kind," she gushed, though inside, she was mourning the tragic loss of her hard-earned, well, stolen money.

Her hands trembled as she handed over the coins, each one slipping from her grasp like a piece of her soul. She took the chicken from the woman, its warmth spreading through her hands.

This was it.

This was the only thing she was going to buy with her pitiful stash. She bit into the chicken, the flavors exploding on her tongue. It was crispy, juicy, and seasoned with what she could only describe as the taste of regret.

"It's good," she mumbled, almost choking on her emotions.

The vendor smirked, crossing her arms. "Of course it's good. I'm the best in this area. Everyone knows that."

Lidia nodded and took another bite. Tears welled up in her eyes, not because of the taste but because this was her life now—spending gold coins like Monopoly money for fried chicken in a world that wasn't even hers.

"Wow…" the vendor leaned closer, eyeing her curiously. "Is it that good?"

Lidia plastered on a shaky smile, tears streaming down her cheeks like she was in a tragic romance drama. "Yes," she croaked, her voice breaking. "Very good."

Without another word, she turned and walked away, clutching the chicken like it was her last lifeline. She wasn't even sure where she was going—she was homeless in a fantasy world, and the realization hit her harder with every step.

Her feet dragged along the cobblestone streets, the lively marketplace buzzing around her. Merchants shouted their wares, children laughed and played, and the smell of freshly baked bread mingled with the scent of spices in the air. But all she could think about was how utterly screwed she was.

She stopped in an empty alley, the sounds of the market fading into the background. Dropping to her knees, she raised her hands to the heavens, chicken still clutched in one fist like an offering.

"Forgive me!" she wailed, her voice echoing off the stone walls. Tears mixed with snot as they trailed down her face. She didn't care about the stares she was getting anymore. "I didn't mean it! I didn't mean to blaspheme or call this book cringe or say that the goddess's chosen was dumb! Please, just—just send me back! I don't want to be here anymore!"

A passing merchant paused, his cart of cabbages rattling as he stared at the strange woman on her knees, shouting at the sky. "Uh… you alright there, miss?"

She turned to him, her face a mess of tears and chicken grease. "Does it look like I'm alright?!"

The man flinched, muttered something about crazy people, and hurried along, his cabbages rattling louder as if they, too, were judging her.

Lidia groaned, flopping back onto the ground dramatically. She stared up at the sky, which was annoyingly bright and cheerful. "Is this because I called the villainess a simp? Is that it? Are you punishing me for being honest?"

A bird flew overhead, chirping happily, as if mocking her misery.

She closed her eyes, letting out a long, theatrical sigh. With that, she sat up, wiped her face on her sleeve, and took another bite of the chicken. It was still delicious, and for a brief moment, it made her forget how utterly hopeless her situation was—until she noticed a woman standing a few feet away, staring at her like she had just witnessed a public meltdown. Which, to be fair, she probably did.

The woman clutched a woven basket to her chest, her eyes wide and filled with curiosity. Her lips parted, but no words came out, and the longer she stared, the more irritated Lidia became.

"What are you looking at?" Lidia snapped, her voice sharp. She twisted her face into the most horrifying frown she could muster, curling her upper lip and squinting her eyes in what could only be described as "unhinged demon chic."

The woman's jaw dropped. Her face went pale, and the basket in her hands trembled as if it wanted to bolt from the situation but was tragically stuck with its owner.

Lidia took it a step further, lowering her voice into a growl. "You never seen someone enjoy chicken before? Huh?"

That did it.

The woman flinched so hard she nearly dropped her basket. Without a word, she spun on her heel and fled like her life depended on it, her long skirts swishing behind her as she darted into the crowded marketplace.

Lidia raised an eyebrow, watching her go. "Well, that was dramatic," she muttered, taking another bite of her chicken. She turned the meat over in her hands, admiring its crispy exterior. "Honestly, I don't see the big deal. People are weird."

She licked a bit of grease off her fingers, her eyes scanning the bustling street. The sounds of haggling merchants and chattering customers buzzed around her like an overly enthusiastic soundtrack to her misadventures. Somewhere nearby, a street performer played a lively tune on a lute, completely out of rhythm but clearly enjoying himself.

Lidia sighed, stepping back into the flow of foot traffic. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she knew one thing for sure—she had to figure out how to make this fantasy world work for her.