The Werewolf King's Bride

(From Blue's Perspective)

Dem told me not one, but about many events, many of his dreams. Those dreams showed his childhood, some tolerable memories, but others just plain painful. His voice remained steady the whole time, his eyes focused on the ceiling.

I gasped every time as if no matter how many similar tales he said, I would still get as surprised as the first time I had heard it.

"No… This won't do," I said. "Why? Why now of all times? Why are you dreaming about all these right now? No, Dem… I cannot… I cannot hear," I said, as I sat up with my hands shaking. "Dem… No child can survive such things… No one can…"

"I am not lying," he said slowly, his eyes not moving from the striking beauty of the ceiling.

"No… No, you are not," I said as I broke down in hysterics. "I know you are not! I never suspected you are lying… I am just sad…! I am sad for you! I am crying because you are not when you should be! You should cry!

You should feel sad, angry…! Angry at everyone who did you wrong, who did not love you when you needed love the most! And I am sad, frustrated, and angry because you are not! How? How? Tell me how!"

"I don't know," he said, not looking at me. "I am not feeling anything. I don't know why."

He then slowly got up and touched the side of my face, looking straight into my eyes as the tears ran down my cheeks.

"I did not want to make you cry, although it indeed makes me feel proud and happy that you are sad for my sake," he continued, his voice gentle. "Keeping secrets when it does not harm to tell you makes me feel miserable. I keep feeling like I am doing something wrong. It is a painful and disgusting feeling. I needed to tell you. I needed to tell you all about it.

Mother, Father… Truth be told, they are nothing to me. Once, they were. However, it is the present that matters. Now, I can say as firmly as I can affirm my love for you that I have no regard and no love for them. They are not strangers, but not someone I hold in my heart either. They are the people who made me and they are my parents, nothing more, nothing less.

Do you know what is the worst thing parents can hear from their child?"

I stared at him as his lips curled into the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. "That they lost the love of their child."

"Why did I not want to be a father? A child would not hurt, would it? It would have been better as well to have an heir. However, I still did not want a child," he said. "I loathed the idea and I even wanted to remain childless. The thought of me being a father made me uncomfortable, probably really bad.

Why? You should know why very clearly by now."

I did not say anything, only stared at him. Then, I opened my mouth slightly mumbling a few words. Even I did not know what I said.

"Yes, I was afraid. I was afraid of the blood running through my veins," he said. "I am the son of the people who were nothing less than the biggest sinners. I do think that neglecting, abusing, and hating your own child is the biggest sin, if there is something called sin if there is a judgment between right and wrong. I was scared of being a horrible father who would do what was not right.

I was afraid of loving. Silly me! I did not even know love existed!"

"But you love me," I said desperately. "You knew what is love. You could have never loved me if you did not know love existed!"

"I probably knew what love should feel like, but I was sure that someone like me would never get to taste it," he said. "When I met you, I still don't know why I was taken aback that way. I cannot call it anything other than 'love'. It must have been the thing they call 'love at first sight'. I did not need a reason. I did not look for a powerful Queen.

I wanted you. At that moment, I made a plan in my head, a plan for our future. You are the person who has seen it very well, who has seen all my twisted ways of showing love, making sure you were by my side, not caring about your opinion. Trust me, I sometimes knew I was doing wrong, but most of the time, I just did not care what was wrong and what was right. I just wanted you."

What he did to me was wrong in many ways. But I could not blame him for the most part. I loved the man who did all these to me because I saw his scars, I saw his pain and I saw the way he had suffered. How could I blame after all these? How could I blame someone who should not have been sane in the first place?

No, no matter what he did, it was not him who was to be blamed. It was my father and his mother, especially who were to be blamed for everything. My father was at the core of our sufferings and his mother was just one of my father's ponies.

"When you got pregnant for the first time, I got scared. I was afraid of being a bad father and then came the risk of you losing your life as a blow. I did not care about being a bad father, oh hell, I did not even care about being a father. I wanted you, the reason for my living I had found after so long. I wanted you so much that I would not even blink twice to get rid of that child.

Why would I care for a being that I did not even see, ignoring the life of the love that I had found?"

His words echoed throughout the room. "So, when we lost the child…"

"I was not unhappy," he said. I knew it was the truth, but it was the first time he had admitted it so clearly. "I was glad to have you out of harm's way, although it pained me to know that you were hurt. Then, my views changed slowly, thanks to your constant affirmation, hope. So, when you got pregnant the second time, I was glad.

I was not as scared as before, although I was still not sure of being the perfect father. But I was, and I am ready to try when before, I could not even think of trying."

"First of all, I was a little relieved as I always believed a child will bind you to me forever. If I could hold the child, I would have your leash in my hand automatically. And secondly, I actually, from the back of my mind, hoped to create a little family with you. We are a family, but I found it a mesmerizing thought to have you carry my child, my blood.

The thought always sent shivers up my spine and every time I look at you, I only get reminded that you are, in fact, carrying a piece of me inside you. You are growing my child."

He touched my stomach. "I don't have any regrets. Trust me, I might have done wrong to you, but I still do not regret most of it and I fear I will not ever. Will you accept me that way? Will you still love me after seeing and hearing all my twisted moves?"

If I was a girl from a normal and happy family, I would have said no, I would have done anything to run away from a man like him.

But the reality was different.

I was not a girl from a happy family. I was not a girl without scars. And he was a man with scars, the man who chose me, and captivated me.

And no matter what, I was not going to leave the person who showed me the hint of light through the darkness that crept around him.

They said love was blind. I believed it.