Chapter 10: Lin Xiaolu's Conjecture
The world is constantly changing.
Lin Xiaolu wanted to change, but in truth, Lin Xiaolu did not like changes.
She hoped to change herself, yet she wished the world around her would remain the same.
But reality always went against her hopes, and as she gradually grew up, it was the world around her that changed, while she remained the same.
This realization had shifted from a hazy understanding to crystal clarity, from ignorance to awareness.
Elders who met her would often say she was naive and childlike, while classmates would find her immature, although she hated being told that, she couldn't come up with any arguments against it.
She indeed still liked the things she enjoyed as a child; she was still the girl farthest from romance in her class; she was still a notch shorter than her peers.
And, she was still subconsciously waiting for her mother to return.
Her mother had died, and she, no longer a child, could clearly understand this. However, she couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like had her mother still been alive.
Therefore, she had always been extremely resistant to the idea of other women appearing around her father.
She didn't know how long her father could maintain his feelings for her late mother; she couldn't imagine what would become of their already fragile family when other women entered the picture. She did not want a stepmother.
Even though she knew that her father's emotional life was his own business, she simply didn't want it.
These feelings became particularly intense after meeting a woman named Hong Siyu.
Upon their first meeting, she could immediately sense that the woman was imitating her mother's mannerisms, attempting to attract and get close to her father in this way, which gave her a strong sense of crisis.
She didn't mind, she didn't care, she told herself. She was now a Magical Girl, part of the magical realm, someone who should have a heart big enough for the world and not be disturbed by these mundane concerns.
But that night, when she overheard the conversation between that woman and her father, she realized something else that was even more shocking:
Emerald Sparrow also knew her father, and, it was very likely that this was the reason for Emerald Sparrow's extra care for her.
Even though this suspicion was later dismissed by her father as a misunderstanding, and she learned from Emerald Sparrow that the care shown was due to her mother having also been a Magical Girl, Lin Xiaolu did not forget her initial guess.
Sometimes, she would ask herself: if everything turned out as she feared, and her father and Emerald Sparrow had a deeper relationship, and one day Emerald Sparrow might become the very stepmother she had resisted, what then? Would she be sad or happy?
If she were to follow her past thinking, Lin Xiaolu believed she would still want to reject it. After all, Emerald Sparrow was just Emerald Sparrow, even if she was a senior she admired and looked up to, if she wanted to use this connection to become her stepmother, it wouldn't be acceptable.
But the reality seemed otherwise.
When she really began to consider this question, even starting to fantasize about "if Emerald Sparrow was her stepmother," she found, inexplicably, that she wasn't as resistant to the idea.
It felt as if, if Emerald Sparrow were to truly be her "mother," it would somehow be the natural course of events.
At that time, Lin Xiaolu did not understand where these strange feelings came from, so she chalked them up to wild imaginings and did not voice them.
Until the night of the Full Moon Festival.
When she and her companions chose to leave their homes due to the huge crisis in the city center, she caught a glimpse of her father's bedroom door ajar.
It was already the wee hours of the morning; even if her father was busy with work, there was no reason for him to go out at that time, yet he was gone from home.
Later, during combat with the enemies of Black Ash Dawn, when caught in a situation of great disadvantage, Emerald Sparrow, who should not have been in Fangting City, appeared.
She had clearly said she wouldn't return during the festival, but there she was, standing before the enemy in a desperate situation.
And in the end, on the battlefield, those words spoken by the woman who had transformed into a monster, who called herself Mosi:
——"Her father seems to have had something going on with you."
At that moment, Lin Xiaolu had an epiphany, as if a fog had lifted from her mind.
Why her father had left at that time, and why Emerald Sparrow had appeared then, it all made sense now because her father and Emerald Sparrow truly had a secret relationship, even, perhaps, a romantic one.
It was her father who had brought Emerald Sparrow to them at that time.
And when everything in her heart seemed to logically fall into place, having no flaws, Lin Xiaolu, who was protected by Emerald Sparrow in the battle, finally understood the strange feelings she had for Emerald Sparrow.
——She felt her mother's presence in Emerald Sparrow.
This was an inexplicable feeling because her own mother, An Ya, and Emerald Sparrow were completely different in personality.
An Ya was warm and upbeat. Maybe sometimes she was absent-minded, but her scatterbrained ways still brought tremendous encouragement.
Emerald Sparrow was aloof and profound. Most of the time she was very precise, but within her aloofness and seriousness, there was a hint of gentleness.
Even the least sensitive person could clearly discern the difference between their personalities.
But Lin Xiaolu inexplicably felt this way nonetheless.
After that day, Lin Xiaolu had a somewhat strange dream.
In the dream, she seemed to be a baby lying in swaddling clothes, her mother teasing her with a tender smile, while she was not able to speak, only able to gurgle and gesture towards her.
In that dream, she did not see her father, but her mother seemed to be talking to some invisible person the whole time, even appearing somewhat girlish and playful.
She handed her over to that unseen person amidst her joyful laughter.
Lin Xiaolu felt a sudden drop in height as a pair of slightly cool hands held her, then gently embraced her.
The embrace was cool but not disagreeable, even somewhat comfortable.
Who could it be? Lin Xiaolu thought, as she struggled to open her eyes in the swaddling clothes and strained to look up, eager to see who the person was.
She saw the color blue.
She saw a pair of deep blue eyes, clear as gemstones, gently gazing at her.
Emerald Sparrow held her, with an expression she had never seen before, forming words with her mouth that a baby could not understand.
Then, Lin Xiaolu awoke from her sleep.
In the morning sunlight, a groggy Lin Xiaolu sat up in bed, reflecting on the strange dream, feeling its experiences were incredibly real, as if they had actually happened.
She realized that this dream might not just be a mere figment of her imagination; it must have its own significance.
Lin Xiaolu sat on the bed, pondering, and after a long period of reminiscing, careful reasoning, and cautious verification, she finally reached a somewhat bold conjecture:
——Mom has sent me a dream, she approves of Emerald Sparrow as my stepmother.