Troublemaker’s Guide to Immortality

"Gun Gun?"

The Iron-Eating Beast was outraged.

That name didn't sound mighty, nor domineering. It completely failed to match its fearsome image!

"Change it, change it right now," the little beast shouted again and again.

Yun Jin agreed that a young one should have a say in its own name. "Do you have something in mind?"

The Iron-Eating Beast immediately perked up, eyes gleaming with excitement.

"I want to be called... Devourer. Invincible Overlord. Conqueror of All. Heavenly Emperor."

After declaring this, the beast looked at Yun Jin expectantly.

This name was perfect. Its master would surely be stunned by its naming skills.

Yun Jin was silent for a long moment. Then she nodded, looking thoughtful. "Hmm, you really do like 'Gun Gun' quite a bit, don't you? Alright, let's stick with that."

So much for freedom. Bratty cubs weren't worth it.

To spare it future embarrassment when it grew up, she'd just help it forget this phase.

Gun Gun blinked in disbelief. "??? When did I ever say I liked it? Wait, wait, wait! If you really must change it, let's go with Devourer Overlord, or Devouring Emperor, or even Devourer of the World…"

Yun Jin simply smiled as she watched the beast flail its little paws in protest. "Wow, you're this excited? You must really love the name. I'm so happy for you."

"Gun Gun is such a nice name," Lin Ya added. "Just look how happy the Iron-Eating Beast is."

Gun Gun howled, "No! Look again, closely! Do I look happy to you?!"

Yue Zhao nodded thoughtfully. "It really has become livelier all of a sudden."

Gun Gun shouted, "This is me protesting!"

Si Wanning smiled with delight. "Gun Gun, Gun Gun, it rolls off the tongue quite nicely. Come here, Gun Gun."

For reasons unknown, the little beast waddled over to her on instinct.

Si Wanning scooped it up and gave it a good pat, clearly satisfied. "See? Came right over. You do like that name after all."

Gun Gun froze.

I do NOT!

"What do Iron-Eating Beasts usually eat?" Si Wanning asked, petting the beast as she spoke.

"Elder Ling gave me a small manual. Let me check." Yun Jin flipped it open and skimmed through. "They're omnivorous, with a strong preference for various types of bamboo. Fruits and vegetables are next, and they'll eat meat as well."

Since Gun Gun was a spirit beast, it was much stronger than any mundane beast Yun Jin had seen in her past life, and much easier to care for.

As long as something contained spiritual energy, it could eat it.

"The most important thing is milk! Beast milk!" the Iron-Eating Beast added helpfully.

Yun Jin chuckled. "Yes, milk is essential too. Senior Ling already provided enough food and milk for three days. After that, we'll have to buy our own."

Yue Zhao nodded. "That's simple enough. There are stores in the market that specialize in spirit beast feed. I'll pick some up next time I go."

A Qi Refining-stage spirit beast wouldn't consume much anyway. Plus, with Yun Jin's alchemy skills, money wouldn't be an issue for long. Mention of the market reminded Yun Jin of something. "Senior Brother, take me with you when you go. I need to visit the Alchemy Pavilion."

"The Alchemy Pavilion? Are you planning to exchange insights with the alchemists there?" Yue Zhao asked curiously.

Yun Jin shook her head. "No, I'm going to take the Tier 2 Alchemist exam."

Everyone: "…"

The silence was deafening.

As expected of a master, Lin Ya was the first to recover. He coughed lightly and forced a laugh. "Xiao Jin has reached the Foundation Establishment stage, which meets the minimum spiritual power requirement for a Tier 2 Alchemist. If she wants to try, let her try. After a few attempts, she might succeed one day—hahaha!"

His laughter echoed awkwardly in the room.

Seeing Yun Jin blinking innocently, Lin Ya's laughter gradually died. His voice trembled as he asked, "You… you're not just messing around, are you?"

Yun Jin immediately gave him a disapproving look. "Master, how could you think such a terrible thing? Taking the exam costs spirit stones! Even though you have a talented alchemist disciple, that's no excuse for such extravagance! Wasting spirit stones just to 'try'? How could you think like that?"

Lin Ya: "???"

Who's the scary one here, really? Her or me?

She was seriously planning to test for second-rank alchemist… so soon after earning her first-rank title?

Yue Zhao's mental fortitude was stronger than Lin Ya's. "Junior Sister, how confident are you this time?"

Yun Jin smiled with confidence. "Completely."

She had already simplified the pill recipes. There was no way she could fail.

She even had two options prepared.

The Recovery Pill or the Foundation Establishment Pill. Either one could earn her second-rank certification with ease.

A solid ten out of ten.

Yue Zhao fell silent again.

He wanted to doubt her.

But after all this time, despite Yun Jin's love for showing off, she had never made an empty boast.

No matter how outrageous it sounded, she always delivered.

So…

Was his little junior sister really about to become a Tier 2 Alchemist?

"I was planning to go to the market tomorrow," Yue Zhao muttered. Then, turning to Lin Ya, he said, "Master, you seem to have some free time lately, why not—"

"No, no, no. I have some very important matters to attend to. I won't be free for the next few days," Lin Ya blurted out, jumping to his feet. He bolted from the room before anyone could question him further.

Yue Zhao: "…"

He turned toward Si Wanning. "Second Sister, don't you love visiting the market? It's the perfect chance to bring Xiao Jin along."

Si Wanning shuddered.

She did enjoy visiting the market—

If it weren't with Yun Jin.

Otherwise, bringing someone along wouldn't be a problem.

But with Yun Jin?

She was afraid she'd get dragged into trouble and beaten up by association.

"No, no. Senior Brother, I've been cultivating peacefully lately. Not stepping out at all," Si Wanning said, reluctantly giving Gun Gun one last pat before slipping away.

Yue Zhao despaired. He finally turned to Yu Songnian—

Only to find his seat already empty.

"Senior Brother," Yun Jin smiled sweetly. "I know you go to the market every day. We'll go together tomorrow, okay?"

Yue Zhao's lips trembled. He nodded stiffly.

Still clinging to a faint sliver of hope, he asked, "Tomorrow… can we be low-key about it?"

"Low-key?" Yun Jin looked genuinely shocked. "Senior Brother, how could you think something so horrifying? From now on, just erase the words 'low profile' from your mind, alright? Actually, your comment just reminded me. Let's go early tomorrow so we can ask Hall Master Chen to start promoting the event ahead of time. Tomorrow, we must make it even grander than last time!"

Last time, they had too little notice to gather the entire marketplace.

This time…

Not a single soul should be left out!

Yue Zhao stared at Yun Jin blankly.

He was wondering.

If he broke both his legs tonight, would that be a good enough excuse to avoid going?

When Yue Zhao finally left, he looked dazed and vacant.

One thought circled in his head: If I'm going to get beaten tomorrow, maybe I should bring a helmet. Like Iron Man. Would that be too advanced for this cultivation world?

The disciples of Tianjian Peak slowly dispersed.

Yun Jin, at last, had time to deal with Gu Jinghong.

She summoned him in directly.