Troublemaker’s Guide to Immortality

The next morning.

Yun Jin stretched with energy sparkling in her eyes.

After reaching the Foundation Establishment stage, cultivators had little need for sleep. Most would simply meditate in place of resting. Yun Jin, however, had a special fondness for the feeling of sleep, always insisting on getting several hours a day.

Thanks to her constant antics, Lin Ya had personally set up a barrier around Yun Jin's room to block out sound and light completely. So, while she hadn't heard anything inside her room, the moment she stepped out, she was greeted by a spirited howl from Gun Gun.

The little Iron-Eating Beast was currently riding Gu Jinghong like a horse, bouncing up and down on his back with great excitement, letting out cheerful cries as it went.

Gu Jinghong, in contrast, looked utterly wrecked. He exuded the despairing aura of someone whose soul had been crushed—exhausted, defeated, hollow.

Yun Jin watched the scene for a few moments, then her smile dropped.

With a swift stride, she marched over.

"Gun Gun."

The beast was in the middle of having a great time, but when it saw Yun Jin's stern expression, it froze, looking slightly guilty. "Master, I was just..."

"Just what?" Yun Jin looked at it like it had let her down deeply. "You're still a young cub. And rest is vital for children!"

Gun Gun tilted its head, eyes wide and confused.

Yun Jin turned her sharp glare on Gu Jinghong. "I left Gun Gun in your care! And how exactly did you take care of it, hmm? Did you make sure it got a good night's rest?"

Gu Jinghong pursed his lips. "I…"

"No 'I' or 'but'," Yun Jin cut him off rudely. "Spare me the excuses. I'm asking you, how is it that after just one night, Gun Gun has dark circles under its eyes?"

Gu Jinghong: "????"

"Iron-eating beasts naturally have—"

"Naturally nothing!" Yun Jin barked. "Still making excuses?!"

She activated the contract's punishment.

Gu Jinghong gritted his teeth against the pain, barely managing to choke out, "I… was wrong."

Only then did Yun Jin relent.

Gun Gun's eyes sparkled with admiration.

"Holy—"

"This human is even more unreasonable than me!"

"This master… I picked the right one!"

Seeing the little beast's worshipful gaze, Yun Jin worried it might pick up bad habits.

"Do you remember how many spirit beasts went berserk and got hurt before? That was because someone put Beast-Lure Powder in their food. And that someone, was him. So when I punish him like this, it's because he deserves it. But if it's someone else, you must remember to be polite. Do you understand?"

Gu Jinghong: "…"

"So you know you're being unreasonable?"

Gun Gun's eyes widened in outrage.

"So this was the guy who hurt all those spirit beasts?!"

"Because of him, I almost got blamed!"

"This human is evil!"

Clearly, it hadn't tormented him enough.

Gun Gun's eyes darted back and forth, clearly hatching another scheme.

Yun Jin ignored it. "I'm heading out soon, but first, I have tasks for you."

"Tasks?"

Gun Gun immediately covered its ears with its paws.

"No! I wanna play!"

Yun Jin calmly pried its paws away and spoke in a serious tone. "As your master, I intend to reach the peak of the cultivation world one day. If you fall too far behind me, I'll still pamper you, of course. But during battle, you won't be able to stand beside me. Gun Gun, you need to choose. Do you want to be just a cute pet, or do you want to stand by my side and fight?"

"If you choose to stay as a pet, I won't assign you tasks anymore. But if you want to grow stronger, I'll train you tirelessly, helping you improve every step of the way. You hate being abandoned by your previous master, don't you? Then get stronger. That way, he'll live to regret it. But if you stay weak, he'll always believe he made the right decision in throwing you away."

Gun Gun was still just a cub. Mischievous, playful, and a bit immature.

So Yun Jin wanted to let it choose for itself.

She could mold it into a divine battle beast… but only if it wanted to.

Gun Gun's eyes, which had been spinning with uncertainty, suddenly stilled at the mention of its previous master. It clenched its teeth. "I want to train!"

It would make that human regret it!

Yun Jin smiled. Though its motivation wasn't pure yet, a goal was a good start for a child.

She smiled. "Good. Then we train. Once you're strong enough, I'll take you to see him. And then you can say, 'Back then, you didn't care about me. But now, you're not even worthy to touch me.'"

Gun Gun's eyes lit up like twin suns.

Back then, you didn't care about me.

Now, you're not even worthy to touch me.

Perfect!

That line captured its entire emotional journey!

"Master, I want to start training now!" Gun Gun leapt off Gu Jinghong's back, eyes blazing with determination.

"Very well." Yun Jin nodded. "You currently have two basic skills: Charge and Roar. I have a chant here that can speed up a spirit beast's skill training. Once I teach it to you, recite it while practicing."

A chant?

To learn faster?

Gu Jinghong scoffed internally.

Beast-training secrets were hoarded by the Beast Taming Sect and its subsidiaries. The Tianxing Sect had no such techniques.

This girl was clearly bluffing.

But Gun Gun, oblivious, nodded eagerly.

Yun Jin inhaled deeply, then began to chant.

"One times one is one. One times two is two…"

Gun Gun: "???"

This… wasn't quite what it had expected from a cultivation chant.

Yun Jin quickly finished reciting all the way to nine times nine.

"There. That's the chant. Got it memorized?" she asked.

Gun Gun shook its head in confusion.

Yun Jin pulled out a recording stone and activated a loop. "Just listen to this a few more times. Once you've memorized it, begin your training."

Gun Gun didn't overthink it. It began studying the chant with all its heart.

Gu Jinghong almost laughed.

She's scamming a child.

This "chant" had nothing to do with cultivation.

If this actually worked…

He might as well kill himself.

Soon, Gun Gun had it memorized.

Yun Jin looked satisfied. "Let's begin with the Charge skill. First step: ram into that tree! While doing so, recite the chant out loud. After a hundred repetitions, you'll see the world in a new light."

"Yes, Master!" Gun Gun replied eagerly. That chant sounded so mystical—it couldn't wait to test it out.

"As for Roar, I'll teach you how to train that when I return. For today, focus on Charge. Got it?"

"Got it!" Gun Gun locked eyes with a tree, ready to launch.

"Take good care of Gun Gun!" Yun Jin turned to Gu Jinghong and barked, "If it ends up with dark circles again, I'll flay you alive."

Gu Jinghong: "…"

Just kill me now.

But he nodded numbly.

After watching Gun Gun train for a while, Yun Jin left with Yue Zhao.

Gu Jinghong stayed behind, supervising.

"One times one is one!" Gun Gun shouted as it charged.

Oof.

Head hurts.

No matter! Again!

"Two times two is four!" Another charge, shaking the whole tree.

Gu Jinghong sneered.

Only a naive beast would fall for this nonsense.