Troublemaker’s Guide to Immortality

Wait a minute—

They were here for a pill-refining assessment, right?

As far as they knew, alchemists were supposed to monitor their cauldrons religiously, terrified of the slightest mishap.

But this time?

Forget them, even the alchemist herself didn't seem the least bit concerned.

That would've been strange enough. But the furnace and the pills? Completely obedient and well-behaved, as if they knew not to cause a single problem.

Under normal circumstances, they'd call this blatant cheating.

Yet now, they found themselves wondering:

"Is that cauldron for sale?"

"Got enough stock?"

"Did she negotiate a bulk discount for the family?!"

After reminding everyone this was technically a pill-refining test, Yun Jin launched into the second half of her sales-performance extravaganza.

For four full hours, she bounced between hawking goods and hosting acts—discovering, to her delight, that commerce generated [Emotional Value] just as efficiently as showing off.

Why?

Because emotion wasn't limited to shock.

Joy, excitement, frenzy—all of it counted.

Stimulated by discounts and clever sales talk, the crowd's emotional value remained high. And every drop was credited to Yun Jin, letting her rake in profits effortlessly.

Yun Jin was delighted.

The merchants were even more delighted.

Yue Zhao was absolutely thrilled.

The buyers? They were overjoyed too.

Only one person looked less than pleased: Master Ming Heng.

Ming Heng had been wrestling with a very troubling thought. He, a mere third-rank alchemist, might go down in history... as the man who destroyed the entire field of alchemy.

What if this girl started selling goods with every exam she took?

What if she thanked him, saying it was all possible because of him?

He wouldn't be able to live with himself!

~

"All good things must end," Yun Jin sighed dramatically as the finale approached. "Tonight, we became family. Now, we must part."

Her voice suddenly boomed: "But do not mourn! The true climax awaits! Will the Perfect Foundation Establishment Pills succeed? Join me in unveiling the answer!"

"And at this pivotal moment—" She clasped her hands, eyes shimmering. "I must thank Grandmaster Ming! When I was but a clueless novice, he saw my potential and gave me this platform. So now, I invite him to witness history with me!"

She beamed at Ming Heng. "Grandmaster, please join me."

Ming Heng: "…"

Emotions warred within him:

Shame (he was a dignified alchemist, damn it!).

Conflict (but the family seemed to want him up there…).

Anticipation (if this actually worked, it would reshape alchemy itself—and he'd be the first to see it!).

By the time he regained his senses, he was already onstage.

"Master Ming, I won't let you down this time." Yun Jin beamed with confidence as she stepped forward.

Flawless quality?

Success or failure?

The answer was now.

The realization made him grimace. He'd been corrupted.

Normally, passing the assessment with a standard-grade pill would've been impressive.

But Yun Jin's theatrics had rewired his brain—now, anything less than Perfect felt like failure.

Dangerous thinking! He forcibly reset his expectations.

Even a successful pill would make her a rare genius.

Besides, she had modified the formula again.

Foundation Establishment Pills were one of the most frequently consumed pills in the cultivation world. Every sect stockpiled them in large quantities.

Yun Jin's new formula had cut nearly half the ingredients. If it could be popularized, the amount of spirit herbs saved every year would be tremendous.

So... could it really succeed?

The crowd, still a little giddy from all the shopping, finally sobered up.

Right. They were here to watch an alchemy assessment.

And now, the true climax had arrived.

Lin Ya and Si Wanning, arms full of snacks, even stopped eating. They stared at the furnace, not daring to blink.

The entire crowd held its breath.

Yun Jin, in contrast, was perfectly calm. She walked forward and lifted the lid.

GASPS erupted.

Then—

Familiar golden light ERUPTED skyward, forming a phantom pill wreathed in radiance.

This time, two pill marks circled it—proof of its second-rank status.

"F-Flawless?!" someone shrieked.

And immediately, the whole scene exploded with noise. Shock rolled through the crowd like waves, growing stronger with every passing moment.

[+2 Emotional Value]

[+3 Emotional Value]

[+4 Emotional Value]

Yun Jin's emotional harvest soared right along with them. She laughed so hard she couldn't stop. Once the light receded, the Foundation Establishment Pill had been successfully refined.

Yun Jin personally took the pill from the furnace.

It shimmered with a dreamy, transparent glow.

Ming Heng's lips trembled.

Four days.

It had only been four short days.

In that time, she had first refined a perfect-grade Biling Pill, and now she had refined a perfect-grade Foundation Establishment Pill.

Two ranks up in four days!

A 15-year-old second-rank alchemist wasn't unheard of in the Holy Land. But advancing from first to second rank in just four days? That was completely unprecedented. Ming Heng knew for a fact that four days ago, she had still been in the Qi Refining stage.

And now? She had broken through to Foundation Establishment and learned the method to refine its corresponding pill.

Such talent...

Even the Xuandan Gate would be tempted.

Ming Heng began to panic slightly.

The first time Yun Jin refined a pill, it had only been a first-rank Spirit Green Pill. He wasn't sure if she could replicate the miracle, so he didn't report it.

But now?

This had to be reported!

With talent like this, even if the Holy Land remained silent, the top-tier alchemy sects would fight to claim her.

Ming Heng's own sect was one of those top-tier factions. The surrounding sects in this marketplace? At best, mid-tier.

If the elders from his sect arrived in time, they had a real shot at securing this peerless genius.

"One furnace, ten Foundation Establishment Pills. All successful." Yun Jin smiled. "This batch was refined under the witness of our whole family. In a way, you all contributed. So I've decided to sell these pills here and now."

"Ten pills, divided into ten bottles. One per bottle. As a thank-you gift to everyone, each bottle is priced at only one supreme-grade spirit stone. Quantities are limited, and we'll be using a random drawing system. If someone doesn't want their chance, we'll draw again."

With a snap of her fingers, ten glowing firefly beasts appeared in the air. They flitted above the crowd, each shedding a soft, glowing light.

As the fireflies danced, the glowing spots shifted positions.

Yun Jin's voice rose with dramatic flair. "Those who are chosen by the light will earn the right to buy one of the ten bottles."

So this was the legendary lottery draw?

So thrilling?

The crowd looked up at the firefly beasts, barely able to contain their excitement.

[+5 Emotional Value]