Troublemaker’s Guide to Immortality

Gu Jinghong was laughing like a madman. Yun Jin's irritation flared. She kicked him. "Laugh all you want now! Three of my precious Huan Yuan Pills down your throat, and you're just delighted, huh? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to get those?!"

Huan Yuan Pills?

Hard to obtain?

The Tianjian Peak disciples all turned to stare at her.

Right now, Tianjian Peak might lack many things—but Huan Yuan Pills, Bilindan, and Foundation Establishment Pills? They had plenty.

To give Yun Jin more options, Yue Zhao had even been planning to find more pill formulas for her. The only problem was that he'd boasted at Hundred Herbs Pavilion that they were elite disciples from a powerful sect.

How could elite disciples possibly lack pill formulas?

If they wanted to buy some, they had to be careful and take it slow. Another way to get pill formulas was through the sect's contribution exchange, particularly from Elder Ming.

But their group had been saving up all their contribution points to eventually redeem the Bu Tian Pill formula, a Seventh-Grade elixir. Even if no one in the sect could refine it, the formula alone was incredibly valuable.

So for now, the pill-hunting plan was on hold. Yue Zhao had it on his mental checklist, though. Once they were safe, he'd handle it himself.

The Tianjian Peak disciples knew the truth about the Huan Yuan Pills. Gu Jinghong, however, did not.

His lips pressed together.

Third-grade Huan Yuan Pills were rarer than many fourth-grade pills. Yet Yun Jin had given them to him without hesitation.

"She's harsh on the outside but soft-hearted inside."

Gu Jinghong, still weak, forced himself upright and bowed slightly. "Master, I nearly ruined everything this time and wasted such precious pills. Please punish me."

Moonlight fell in cold silver strands.

His lips were still stained with blood, a red that looked almost deliberately vivid.

Si Wanning couldn't help but click her tongue.

"This guy might be a lunatic, but damn, he's pretty."

Now that he'd fallen into their junior sister's hands, there was an added allure of being broken.

"Tsk tsk tsk."

"Everyone gets their karma. Gu Jinghong's karma is our little sister."

Yun Jin tilted her chin slightly. "Punishment? Of course there'll be punishment. There's more to deal with tomorrow, so I'll let you off for now. But I'll be thinking very carefully about how to discipline you."

Gu Jinghong lowered his head. "Yes, Master."

Lin Ya gave a short cough. "That's enough for today. Tomorrow is the public trial."

No one seemed particularly worried about it. They dispersed soon after.

~

The Next Day

Zhao Wuji couldn't wait. At first light, he gave the order for the Hall of Discipline to publicly try Yun Jin for harming a fellow disciple.

The Hall of Discipline, being entirely under his control, passed the motion swiftly.

According to protocol:

Zhao Wuji, Huo Lie, Fang Mingyue, Long Yi, and Lin Ya were to serve as observers.

Zhao Wuji had picked the panel himself. Huo Lie and Long Yi were firmly in his camp and would back him no matter what. Fang Mingyue was known for her neutrality, which gave the proceedings a veneer of fairness.

And Lin Ya?

"Oh, he'll get to watch his precious disciple be condemned."

The thought alone made Zhao Wuji giddy.

The trial was held in the main hall.

Yue Lin, head of the Enforcement Hall, presided. The five overseers sat on either side.

Below them stood the two parties in conflict.

Since this was a public trial, any disciple could attend to ensure transparency.

"Did you hear? Yun Jin ordered Gu Jinghong to kill Ye Danxia! Trial's today."

"Again? These two are really…"

"Before, it was Ye Danxia targeting Yun Jin, and Yun Jin just fought back. But now she's had enough and decided to eliminate her?"

"Hard to say…"

"Let's go watch!"

Yun Jin and Ye Danxia were both new disciples, but their fame was unmatched. Since joining the sect, they'd alternated between calling each other sisters and scheming against each other.

Some enterprising disciples had even tallied their battle records.

The result? Yun Jin, undefeated.

Someone had even coined a slogan:

"Will the 'Divine Drama Queen' Yun Jin maintain her flawless streak? Stay tuned!"

Public trials were usually dull, with few spectators.

But today?

The hall was packed before the trial even started.

"Make way, make way!" someone called out.

The crowd near the front wasn't having it. "We fought our way up here. You think you can just ask us to move?"

The voice hesitated. Then, "But… I'm Yun Jin."

"So what if you're Yun Jin?" the disciple snapped, before turning around and seeing Yun Jin's unmistakably exasperated face. A pale-faced Gu Jinghong stood behind her.

The disciple's face went bright red. "Sister Yun, Brother Gu! Everyone, let them through! If they don't come in, we won't get to see the fun."

Realizing he'd said the quiet part out loud, he glanced at Yun Jin awkwardly. "Sorry, I…"

Yun Jin nodded solemnly. "No worries, Senior Brother. Today I'll do my best to deliver a good performance. I promise everyone a show worth watching!"

She raised her voice further. "Brothers! Sisters! I know cultivation life is dull—just training, training, and more training. Don't you crave some excitement? Remember this: Where there's Yun Jin, there's drama! If you've got friends who aren't here, send a message talisman!

"Miss this, regret it forever!

"Skip it, and you're no true Tianxing disciple!"

The crowd erupted.

Zhao Wuji's face darkened. He shot Yue Lin a glare. "Are you just going to let her cause a scene?"

Yue Lin stiffened. "Yun Jin! No more disruptions! Approach the bench!"

Ye Danxia had already arrived and been given a seat. She sat there, looking delicate and pitiable.

Yun Jin, having finished stirring the crowd, made her way into the hall through the path that had been cleared, Gu Jinghong following half a step behind her with the bearing of a loyal servant.

As Yun Jin approached, she immediately noticed Ye Danxia sitting comfortably in her chair.

One detail stood out.

Ye Danxia had a chair.

She didn't.

What was that supposed to mean?

She wasn't having it.

Yun Jin narrowed her eyes and was about to speak.

But Gu Jinghong stepped forward in silence.

"Second Senior Brother, I—" Ye Danxia began.

Before she could finish, Gu Jinghong grabbed her by the collar, hauled her out of the seat, and tossed her to the floor. Then, without a word, he took out a handkerchief, wiped down the chair meticulously, and placed it beside Yun Jin.

Yun Jin smiled, clearly pleased. For once, this psycho wasn't completely insufferable.

"Good job." She sat down with a regal air.

Gu Jinghong smiled faintly and stood behind her—a perfect servant.

At this point, it looked less like a trial and more like…

A young mistress holding court.