Try Living Well Without Me

Once, the one I loved the most.

And even now, the one I love the most, or rather, the one I must love the most.

Such a woman is now standing before me, half-revealing herself.

The soft glow of the lamp in the room accentuates her.

Just seeing her makes my heart ache.

“…Elder, please close your eyes.”

– ? This brat?

“It means don’t look. Either close your eyes or turn your head, Elder.”

– Hey, you son of a dog! How much help have I given you until now! Isn’t it too cruel to an old man who can’t even stand up straight anymore?

“Anyway, what cannot be done, cannot be done. Turn your eyes before I completely erase you.”

– Hmm, just go into my meditative state.

No matter how much of an old benefactor he may be, she is my wife—why would you try to look?

Though, hasn’t he already seen all of my memories? Then he must have seen that monumental event between me and Soeun Yu… Ahem.

At some point, I’ll have to deal with this properly. Erase it from his memory immediately.

– Tch, perhaps I should just tell your wife that you were raped by a Blood Demon.

“…The day you say that will likely become the day of your memorial service, Elder.”

– Ack, ahem. Brat, relax your eyes. Otherwise, you’ll really end up killing someone.

“Also, cover your ears. Not only should you turn your gaze, but also…”

– WHAT?! Are you really thinking about going all the way tonight?!

“It’s not about that, but who knows what conversation might ensue. Your wife’s attire is… far from ordinary as well. So, close your eyes, sir.”

– Hahaha, right, right! I shall always support this! If you can stop feeling so much like a man about it, things will naturally develop!

Ignoring Jin Woo-yong’s nonsensical muttering, I turned my head back toward Soeun Yu.

She was still standing by the door.

No, she was slowly stepping inside, one step at a time.

“Master…”

I quickly rose from the bed to greet her.

But Soeun Yu swiftly held onto my shoulder, stopping me.

“Madam…?”

“Do not rise! It’s just a night together, so why would you get up…!”

“Night together…?”

“Ah… that… Umm, could you perhaps… dislike it? The night together with me… If Master dislikes it, I’ll immediately leave…”

Soeun Yu mumbled in a deflated tone with her head bowed.

Seeing her lack of confidence, I reached out and grabbed her wrist, pulling her.

With a small cry, Soeun Yu easily collapsed into my arms.

The embarrassed Soeun Yu covered her face with her hands upon being embraced suddenly.

I did not forcibly remove her hands. Instead, I spoke to boost her self-esteem, which seemed to have taken a nosedive for some reason.

“Uh, Master, what do you intend to do…”

“Why are you so deflated, madam?”

“…”

“Is a husband and wife sharing a night something that requires permission? Rest comfortably. This bedroom belongs to both me and you, and this bed is both mine and yours as well.”

“!”

Upon hearing my calming words, Soeun Yu’s eyes widened like a puppy’s. Her face blushed red before she quickly turned away.

“But… then…”

Even with her efforts to hide it, the smile on her lips eased my heart.

“Can I lie down?”

At her careful question, I lifted the blanket and shifted to the side, making room for her.

“Please, come in.”

“Yes, yes!”

She responded and carefully slipped underneath the covers. Her sensuous and full body melded into the bed.

Our skin did not touch, as the bed provided by Gayoung Jin was wide enough, even for one person. With two cushions available, we lay down, each resting on our separate pillows.

“…”

“…”

Honestly, it would be strange not to feel awkward.

It has been countless years since we last engaged in intimacy, and the last time we lay together was years ago.

Naturally, there was an uneasy atmosphere between Soeun Yu and me as we both lay on the same bed. The two of us felt this uneasiness more deeply than anyone else.

“…”

What should I say?

Or rather, do I need to say anything since we just intend to sleep?

While I contemplated what to do, the moment arrived.

Swoosh.

“Hmm?”

“…”

Quietly remaining still, Soeun Yu’s hand slipped into mine.

…

Turning her head away while concealing all sorts of complex emotions, Soeun Yu gathered her courage.

Of course, Soeun Yu did not intend to merely sleep with Byul Rak.

Could it be because she happened to witness a sticky, sultry scene in the evening?

Or perhaps it’s because she has never engaged in any relations, let alone self-consolation, all this while?

The area between her legs throbbed constantly. It was fair to describe her condition as overly sensitive.

There was a damp, sticky sensation, as if only that area was damp.

But reason is always heavier than desire. Soeun Yu couldn’t muster the courage to disregard the proper order of things.

Considering the awkward relationship to the point where even having a conversation now felt uneasy, it was understandable.

Nevertheless.

Even so, Soeun Yu could not let go of this sliver of an opportunity.

By day, Gayoung Jin and Hong Ryun would undoubtedly interfere with her. Blocking her from staying close or even engaging in conversation.

Therefore, this very moment is the only time she has. If tonight’s encounter were to be discovered, starting that very day, they might ensure Byul Rak wouldn’t even have a peaceful night of sleep anymore.

They were possessive women whose confidence far exceeded Soeun Yu’s.

“…Let’s at least hold hands.”

Finally, Soeun Yu extended her hand. Byul Rak’s large and rough hand connected with her small, soft one.

Soeun Yu worried that he might dislike it, but unexpectedly, Byul Rak did not resist.

He remained still, as if this were entirely natural. Soeun Yu gathered her courage.

Gulp.

“Yes, I don’t want to let this opportunity slip again. This kind of life has grown tiresome.”

The pink-haired girl she saw earlier lingered in Soeun Yu’s mind.

The girl wrapping her body around Byul Rak like a snake, sharing intimate saliva through their lips in a sloppy kiss.

That shocking image too.

Her heart raced wildly. Thump, thump, thump, thump—For someone of her age, the rapid pounding seemed absurd.

But, ultimately, the only person she could blame was herself. Her lack of nerve led her to hesitate. If only she could be as bold as Hong Ryun who kisses without hesitation, then—

“I… I have no reason why I shouldn’t be able to do it too…!”

“To be honest, if we talk just about the body… I certainly don’t yield to anyone…”

“I… I have big breasts too! When we were newlyweds, how often Master held these! Sure, they may have sagged a bit, but… they’re still soft, no?”

Soeun Yu fortified her resolve. Her competitive spirit and jealousy now ignited to the point where any obstacle seemed surmountable.

“I can do everything too!”

“I can also… hug Master…”

“If I can do more, I can kiss and… mix tongues with him…”

As these thoughts occurred to her, Soeun Yu realized she shouldn’t remain complacent.

She turned on her side, facing Byul Rak, who was lying on his back staring at the ceiling with half-closed eyes.

With great effort, Soeun Yu shifted closer. She rested her head on Byul Rak’s chest and wrapped her arm around his waist.

It was an intensely intimate pose. As Byul Rak cast a glance at her, Soeun Yu, suddenly bashful, buried her face into his chest.

“Why do I keep burying my face in Master’s chest like this…?”

“Ugh…”

But that was as far as she could go. Soeun Yu could not proceed further.

Then, Byul Rak, who had remained still until now, raised his hands. He cradled Soeun Yu’s head with his right hand and enveloped her back with his left.

Snugly—.

It was extraordinarily warm and reliable. Soeun Yu could scarcely believe that this was happening to her in reality.

“Madam.”

Byul Rak’s raspy voice invaded her ears.

“Yes, yes?”

“Please, lay down all your burdens.”

“Yes? What… what burdens?”

“The burdens in your heart. The one that’s been making you sad since late evening. It’s the way of married couples to share all their worries.”

“Ah…”

It was a bitter tone. Soeun Yu didn’t bring up the related incident.

Instead, as Byul Rak insisted that she share her inner troubles, she worried her lower lip in deep thought and quietly spoke up.

“Umm… M-Master…”

“I’m listening.”

“I don’t… ask for much…”

“…”

With great difficulty, hesitating every step of the way…

“If you just… hold me like this once in a while, I will be satisfied…”

“Madam?”

“I… I don’t have the right to comment on what you do with other women…”

“Bu, Madam?”

“But… Can’t you at least hold me like this from time to time… like tonight… Right?”

While deep down wishing for far more than what she just said, her inherent timidity restricted her.

Even with all her efforts to muster courage, Soeun Yu remained Soeun Yu.

“Hmm… Madam, surely…”

Byul Rak’s lips moved with concern.

“Did you… see me earlier in the evening? I felt someone’s gaze…”

“…”

Soeun Yu silently nodded, then spoke in a barely audible whisper.

“S-Slave always loves Master… please… don’t forget just that…”

At her earnest and heart-wrenching words, the grip of the hands around Soeun Yu tightened.

Hugging her tightly, Byul Rak whispered earnestly with firmness.

“What are you talking about.”

“That was merely a mistake and nothing I desired.”

“You are the only concubine I have. And even if the world splits in half, this fact will not change. I love you.”

The night grew deeper still.

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