[TS] Starting the Broadcast

My throat condition has improved slightly.
On the third day, I maintained around 100 viewers while broadcasting, drawing attention with military-related content like on the first day.
On this day, I also achieved 30 fan club members, gaining an additional 15 points.
Now I have 20 points, and I’ve received new missions smoothly, giving me hope that I can gradually improve.
However, that was until that terrible thing happened to me…
“Aack!”
[That doesn’t suit a woman’s scream. I recommend ‘Kyaa!’]
“Is, is this the time for such nonsense!”
Perhaps I had been deliberately ignoring it until now.
The mental shock and disconnection from suddenly having my body change to a woman’s.
By the way, I still wasn’t wearing a bra.
Well, it’s not a size that’s a big problem even without wearing one, but…
[This is an entirely normal phenomenon for someone with a normal female body.]
“No, I’m not originally a woman… Ha! Right, let’s stop this.”
The moment of clarity has come.
No, now that I don’t have my precious thing anymore, does that mean I won’t have moments of clarity anymore?
I entered the bathroom with a blank expression.
There’s blood.
It’s menstruation. The magical time that happens to women about once a month.
The cruel reality that I had been trying to ignore under the hope of returning to being a man now clouded my vision.
Yes, I’m a woman now.
A woman, not the man I had been for 28 years.
Every time I took care of bodily functions until now, I deliberately pretended not to notice.
Every morning, I irritably brushed the long fallen hair on the bed into the trash can and didn’t go out.
I’m scared.
Showing this appearance to someone else.
If those people became aware of the fact that I’m currently a ‘woman’, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
[Gender is not important. What’s truly important is serving the will of Haruogaamurdiaskagani-nim.]
“Oh, please read the room. Are you blind?”
Perhaps I had been viewing this current body like a game avatar.
To erase the sense of disconnection.
To comfort myself that nothing has changed.
But the pain starting from below makes me acutely feel all of these facts.
I’m a woman. I’ve become a woman.
With no promise of when I can return to normal…
‘Is this the influence of menstruation? I’m having unnecessary negative thoughts.’
It hurts.
Because it hurts, I’m not in a good mood.
Naturally, negative thoughts started to arise, and emotions that had been piling up started to reveal themselves one by one.
This isn’t right.
I feel the need to change the atmosphere.
I search the internet for ways to alleviate menstrual pain.
I also look for effective medicine.
After finishing the search, I prepared for a rare outing.
The first outing since becoming a woman… that is, after three days.
Opening the sealed wardrobe, there were flowy dresses, skirts, blouses, and so on – quite a sight.
Imagining myself in a skirt, I can’t help but frown.
If only my appearance was at least beautiful, I would feel less resistant, but since it’s not much different from when I was a man, I don’t even want to imagine it without the help of makeup skills.

[I’m sorry. I’ll take a break from broadcasting today. My throat and overall physical condition are not good. As I’m still a rookie BJ, broadcasting is more challenging than I thought. I’ll definitely recover my condition and come back with a better appearance tomorrow.]

I posted a notice on my personal broadcasting station and finished preparing to go out.
Of course, I had no makeup on, as applying skin toner and lotion was all the “makeup” I’d done in my life.
And a combination of 7/8 length pants and a short-sleeved T-shirt.
I chose practical clothes as it’s summer.
‘Looking like this, if only my hair was short, I’d look like I did in college. Except for the slimmer lines and better skin.’
I stuffed my wallet and phone into my pockets and left the house.
First, I stopped by the pharmacy to buy medicine recommended for menstrual pain.
Fortunately, it didn’t require a prescription, so I was spared the trouble of getting a medical examination.
Then I went to the supermarket and managed to find hot packs that were hidden away despite it being summer.
I’m just grateful for the tip that applying this helps greatly in alleviating pain.
I also bought several types of sanitary pads, diligently searching the internet like a beginner and choosing products with good reviews.
“Ah, this is nice.”
On the way back home, I stopped at a small park.
I put down the bag containing the purchased items next to me and sat on a bench, enjoying the gentle breeze.
Thanks to the wind and the shade above my head, I avoided the heat.
[How about offline preaching while you’re out?]
‘You’re really asking for it, aren’t you?’
While grumbling, my thoughts naturally shift to broadcasting.
I want to do well.
I think I’m showing excellent results for a rookie even now.
But I keep getting greedy.
More viewers, more donations, more fan registrations… I wanted to quickly gather lots of points and show off my growth.
‘Maybe it’s been too boring until now…’
The monotonous life of endlessly repeating home, work, home.
Although it was a sudden accident, becoming a woman and starting to broadcast was truly a great adventure and challenge.
I want to produce good results.
In fact, isn’t everyone like that?
Everyone wants to be the lead role in life rather than a supporting character.
Perhaps the life I’ve lived until now, blending in inconspicuously with my surroundings, might be able to step up as a protagonist.
‘Would it be better if I think of this as the pain necessary for that?’
I stare blankly at my waist.
The purpose of venturing out today.
I erase the gloominess.
It’s the first time. It was more unfamiliar and difficult because it’s the first time.
This too will become familiar with repetition.
Someday… I’ll be able to brush it off lightly with a smile.

After thinking a lot in the park, I returned home.
The rare outing was good, but after all, home is the best for feeling stable.
My own space where I don’t have to mind anyone else.
After a light meal, I took the medicine and lay down on the bed.
This is where the hot pack comes in!
It naturally reminds me of the cold weather training that started the week right after being assigned to my unit.
Saying to hell with the 2-week new soldier adaptation period after unit assignment, due to the brigade commander’s directive to minimize training exemptions, I arrived on Friday and went straight to cold weather training the following Monday.
It was truly a legendary military experience.
The PX opened on the weekend, but due to hoarding of hot packs, there were none left, leading to the sad fate of a private going to cold weather training without a single hot pack.
Setting up tents and sleeping by the river in temperatures around -20°C, it was so cold and my feet were so frozen that I couldn’t sleep.
I vividly remember spending the whole night awake, rubbing my feet that felt like they would freeze solid.
If my senior hadn’t shared his hot packs the next day, saying he brought plenty, I might have gotten frostbite.
[That’s a touching story.]
“Shut up.”
Anyway, as I gently rub my lower abdomen with this precious memento hot pack, the pain seems a bit less.
Or maybe the medicine is already taking effect?
In any case, since I decided to take a break from broadcasting today, I planned to improve my throat condition as much as possible through silent meditation and watch some of my favorite broadcasts that I had forgotten about for a few days to relieve stress.
“Hmm, broadcasts at this time…”
Having watched for 5 years, I’ve experienced various broadcasts.
Most were related to games or so-called “radio broadcasts” with good voices.
‘I guess after work, a light and calm feeling is nice.’
After working hard all day, you can’t get stressed from the broadcast you watch too, right?
For that reason, most of the game broadcasts I favored were “skill” broadcasts.
Those boasting high tiers or known as masters of specific heroes.
When I see strange plays from very low tiers, I can’t resist wanting to give advice.
“Three are on.”
Among the broadcasts I had bookmarked, three were currently live.
Two were game broadcasts and one was a radio broadcast.
After a moment’s hesitation, I chose one of the game broadcasts.
‘I guess radio broadcasts are hard to reference until my voice improves. And the game broadcast side has a much bigger pie…’
The broadcast I chose was BJ Lark, who mainly plays ADC, and was very popular due to his skill of usually staying in the Grandmaster tier and his good commentary.
The current viewer count alone was 1700.
Enough to create relay rooms because the main broadcast was full…
‘It’s a bit more than usual. Usually, it was around 1200-1300.’
Sure enough, looking at the broadcast title, he was doing a duo broadcast.
And by coincidence, the BJ he was duoing with was BJ Mia, whom I had met in a game two days ago.
“Mia-nim, shield, give me shield please. Quickly! I’m dying!”
“Ah, wait a bit. I’m running there as fast as I can, aren’t I?”
The two BJs were on the Red team on the top side, with Lark playing ADC Kai’Sa and Mia playing support Lulu.
“Ooh, good. Nice save! Now give me W, if we follow like this we can catch Jhin.”
“Uh, it’s on cooldown…”
“What? No, I only received E, why is W on cooldown?”
“You kept rushing me, so I used it to get back to lane quickly.”
“What? Sigh… This is why Plat supports are still (whispers).”
“If you say it loud enough for everyone to hear and then say ‘whispers’ at the end, do you think my memory will just fly away?”
-Ah, ㅋㅋ if you type ‘whispers’, it can’t be heard.
-This is a chat where good people are invisible and only bad people can be seen.
-Lark… Today too, he fights a lonely battle with a Plat support.
While the two were bickering, Jhin safely escaped and recalled.
The game continues.
The two BJs took on a concept of bickering like siblings, leaving no room for the mic to be idle.
As expected of professional BJs with long careers.
Moreover, the game was progressing smoothly.
The tier of the duo queue was Platinum.
Given that Lark’s main account tier is Grandmaster, slaughter was possible in this tier.
Although Mia is often teased by viewers as a Hyeji who gets carried, three years of experience doesn’t go to waste.
She boasts quite high proficiency with Hyeji heroes, so if the ADC’s skill supports her, she can defend well even in the Platinum tier.
“Carry! It wasn’t easy.”
“I also had a hard time saving the ADC who rushed in too quickly. That Flash-ult earlier was truly worthy of being called a super save.”
“Heng! I had Stopwatch, you know? I was looking for an angle where I could go in with ult to finish the enemy ADC, use Stopwatch to ping-pong aggro, and then escape with Flash when teammates engage, but I guess Platinum supports can’t see ‘that angle’…”
-Is Lark a god! Is Lark a god! Is Lark a god!
-Bus driver, I’m paying the fare. The passenger was too heavy today, right?
“Oops, thank you for the 500 water balloons, Mia-nim, specialist in assaulting bus drivers. No, not at all. I’ve met so many assaulters before, Mia-nim is at least sitting in her seat, even if she’s not wearing a seatbelt.”
“Eek! Who are you calling Mia, specialist in assaulting bus drivers! Are you going to change your nickname and go stir up trouble in other broadcasts? You’ll get blacklisted, you know!”
After winning the game, cheerful laughter overflows.
I was quietly watching the broadcast, going along with that atmosphere, when suddenly an unexpected chat message appeared.
-Oh? It’s Hani. I thought it was a fake, but it’s really Hani.
At first, it was a chat that was buried unnoticed, but unexpectedly, there seemed to be many viewers in this room who knew me, as several viewers started to continue the chat consecutively.
Then other viewers started to embarrass them, saying it’s forbidden to mention other BJs, and someone spilled the story about what happened with Mia two days ago.
-Ah, is that BJ Hani?
-But why is that BJ who said they’re taking a break today here? Don’t tell me it’s really sniping Mia? Are you aiming to snipe secretly today too?
-Chilling. The bewitching little BJ Mia. To succeed in seducing even another woman, how far does that charm go!
-That day Mia smashed her keyboard 3 times in a row. It was legendary. ㅋㅋ
-That’s why Hyeji should play Hyeji heroes. How dare you play damage support!
As the chat room became noisy, Lark, who was conducting the broadcast, naturally noticed first, and he must have told Mia something through Discord, as Mia started to show an ominous reaction.
“Is Hani-nim really here? Then you’re listening to my voice too, right?”
“Um, Hani-nim, would it be possible for you to connect to Discord now? Mia-nim says she has something she wants to say.”
I was flustered by the suddenly developing situation, but since I had already been discovered, there was no way to avoid it.
“Ah, hello. This is BJ Hani. My throat condition isn’t good right now, so please understand if I speak a bit quietly.”
“Hello. I’m BJ Lark. Haha, it’s nice to meet you for the first time. Anyway, it seems Mia’s business is more urgent than mine, so I’ll yield.”
“Compete with me!”
“…?”
Mia’s sharp voice cuts in fiercely, interrupting Lark’s words.
The meaning of that was clear.
“Let’s have a 1:1 match.”
-Wow, crazy!
-This is a woman who’s ‘serious’ about competition.
-Is Mia a god! Is Mia a god! Is Mia a god!
The chat room started to burn like a furnace.