Chapter 5: Rage and Ashes
—I tried to resist.
I leaned forward slightly, fixing my eyes on the river's current, as if somehow the water could cleanse what I was about to hear.
But it wouldn't. Nothing would.
—For a while… it worked —she whispered.
For a while. Which meant that, in the end, it didn't.
I closed my eyes for a second. I felt the pressure of rage forming in my chest, expanding with each heartbeat.
—But when he came… He was like a shadow —Cere murmured.
My head snapped up. Cere trembled slightly.
Not enough for anyone else to notice. But I did.
She didn't need to say his name. She didn't need a description. I knew who she was talking about.
My breathing slowed. My mind filled with stories. Stories told in whispers, with fear. Of a man dressed in black. Of a presence that smothered the Force around him.
A chill ran down my spine.
Darth Vader.
I swallowed hard. My fingers tensed.
I didn't know if it was the wind or if the Kashyyyk forest had suddenly turned colder. But it didn't matter. Because now I understood.
—I don't know how much time passed. I only know that in the end…
She paused. She didn't want to say it. But I already knew. I had known from the moment we started this conversation.
—I broke.
The weight of that word fell on me like a stone slab. Heavy. Crushing. Irrevocable.
—I'm sorry.
Her voice was barely a whisper.
I didn't know if she was saying it for Trilla or for me. But I couldn't look at her. Not yet. Because I didn't know what I would do.
I stood up without a word. The air in Kashyyyk felt dense, thick with humidity. I needed to get out of there.
I started walking aimlessly, my gaze down, my fists clenched.
—Where are you going? —Cere asked behind me.
I didn't stop.
—To kill some Imperials.
My tone was indifferent, as if I were talking about the weather.
—Why?
I smiled bitterly.
—Because the kid's going to need help.
It was an excuse. Cere knew it. I knew it.
But she didn't try to stop me. Because deep down, maybe she thought I needed it too.
Maybe she knew I had too much anger bottled up, and if I didn't release it, I was going to explode at the wrong moment.
I walked away from her and that stupid river.
My boots sank into the damp earth as I headed toward the abandoned Imperial fortress, the one Cal had supposedly helped reclaim.
It had been retaken by the Imperials days ago. But now, it was silent.
The bodies of the fallen still lay scattered across the ground. More Wookiees than Imperial soldiers.
The Empire had been ruthless. It always was.
My eyes landed on the marks of a lightsaber on some of the corpses. Cal. If the Empire knew he had been here before… Then it was possible they had passed through.
The Inquisitors.
My jaw clenched as I moved forward.
I found a lift and pressed the button to lower it to the lower levels. The hum of the mechanism filled the small space as it descended.
The air grew heavy. For a moment, my mind took me back to another time.
Not to a cell—the Order didn't imprison its own—but to a room of forced meditation.
I remember kneeling at the center, with a Master reciting the principles of the Jedi Code.
"There is no emotion, there is peace."
Always the same phrase. Always the same attempt to convince me that what I felt was wrong.
"You're impulsive, Sidias. Anger clouds your judgment. You must learn to control yourself."
Control myself. Always control myself. But they didn't understand that sometimes anger was the only thing keeping me standing.
The lift stopped with a screech, pulling me from my thoughts. The level I had reached was narrower, with metallic corridors and flickering red lights. And most importantly: there were Imperials.
A group of troopers in whitish armor patrolled the area. One of them saw me first. He approached with his blaster raised but didn't shoot.
—Halt. Show me your identification.
I stopped. Lifted my head, letting the shadow of my hood conceal most of my face. I smiled to myself.
—Of course.
My lightsaber ignited in a flash of purple and pierced through him before he could react.
The heat of the blade vibrated in my hand, familiar and lethal. For a moment, I allowed myself to admire its glow. I had missed it.
The shadows in the metallic reflections turned violet as the soldier fell lifeless to the ground. The sound of the saber activating alerted the rest.
—Jedi!
The troopers reacted instantly, raising their blasters. Too late.
I launched toward them with the speed the Force granted me. A flick of the wrist, and my saber traced a downward arc, slicing through a soldier's torso. Another fired, but I deflected the shot instinctively, sending it rebounding into his own comrade.
I needed more.
My senses sharpened as my movements became faster, more precise. But in the midst of the fight, a sensation began to grow in my chest. A voice, a memory buried deep in my mind.
"General, we have the droids surrounded."
"Stay calm, Captain. You and your men have done well."
My movements faltered. It was just an instant, a second of doubt, but it was enough for a blaster shot to graze my arm.
I ignored the pain and kept attacking.
These weren't those troopers. The ones who had fought by my side. The ones who had saved my life countless times.
Or were they?
The last one tried to flee. I reached him before he could round the corner.
—No —I said quietly.
My saber pierced his back. Silence fell over the fortress. I took a deep breath, feeling my heart pounding. My hands trembled slightly as I deactivated the saber.
I looked at the bodies on the ground. Men who, years ago, had fought beside me. Men who had sworn to protect us, and whom I had once protected too. Men who were now dead by my hand. Something bitter rose in my throat. They weren't the same clones I had known, I knew that.
But they were.
The Empire had turned them into enemies. Had corrupted them. Had programmed them to kill us. But I… I had done the same. I had wielded my saber without hesitation. Without thinking about who they had been before, what had been done to them. As if their lives meant nothing.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
What had we become? Did we ever have the option to make things go in a different direction?
Footsteps interrupted my thoughts. I turned slowly, my saber still in hand, ready for another enemy. But it wasn't a soldier.
It was Cal.
He had stopped at the entrance to the corridor, his blue saber ignited but not raised to attack. He looked at us. At the bodies. At me. There was no judgment in his expression. No disapproval. Just surprise.
As if he were seeing something he didn't quite understand. He didn't say anything. But his gaze said it all. He hadn't expected to see this. He hadn't expected to see me like this.
For a moment, I wondered what the hell I was doing with this group. Because deep down, I knew I wasn't like him. I wasn't a hero. I never was.
I deactivated my saber and turned away.
—Finish what you came here to do, kid.
And without waiting for a response, I walked away.
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Hope you guys like it! Gonna give you a little preview: the next chapter is kind of emotional (damage)