Urban Plundering: I Corrupted The System!

Parker tried to peer deeper—really feel the essence of that last aspect of his path. But the second he reached for it, bam—a sharp, stabbing pain ripped through his mind like someone had just taken an ice pick to his skull. Hell, it wasn't just the last one; every damn aspect hit back like a pack of rabid dogs.

[Master, your soul hasn't fully resonated with your real body yet. You need to finish the assimilation before you can control the essences of any of your path powers.] Levi's voice slid into his head, way too casual for someone dropping bad news. [In the meantime, why not check out the abilities of Plunder?]

Parker sighed, rubbing the back of his neck like that would magically get rid of the lingering sting. "Yeah, yeah—I know. Just figured I'd poke around, see if there was any change since, y'know, this is my ninth and final life. Thought maybe the universe would cut me some slack for once." He paused, snorting under his breath. "Guess even I gotta follow my own messed-up rules."

[Rules suck, huh?] Levi chimed in, snarky as ever.

"Oh, bite me," Parker muttered, already bracing for another headache. "Alright, whatever—tell me if Plunder's got anything new. I already know the basics, don't waste my time with the same old song and dance."

[Actually, yeah, there's some fresh upgrades—nothing you can read outright, though. It's all about your aura and influence now. You'll feel it in action more than anything. Though... System functions got a nice little upgrade to match your... urban plundering tendencies.]

Parker blinked, then let out a low, dry laugh. "Urban plundering? Seriously? That sounds like I'm about to rob a 7-Eleven with style. What the hell now, some budget Robin Hood in Gucci?"

[Hey, you wanted upgrades that fit the current world structure, and voilà—urban chaos vibes for the modern menace you are.]

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. That'll be all," Parker grumbled, waving off the voice in his head like that actually did something. "Now, let's get this over with and finish checking your shiny new changes. Then… assimilation time."

He paused for a second, dragging a hand through his hair.

"God, I hate the word assimilation. Sounds like I'm about to join some creepy alien cult."

[You kinda are, but hey—at least you're a creepy overly handsome and overpowered alien in this scenario. Just saying]

"Fan-fucking-tastic."

Parker smirked, that annoyingly handsome "I-know-I'm-the-problem" kind of smirk that could make angels wanna throw punches and demons second-guess their life choices. "Yeah, a perfect, annoyingly handsome creepy alien. Thanks for the ego boost, Levi."

[Hey, just calling it how I see it, Master Perfectly Disturbing.] Levi's voice practically dripped with snark. [You're basically what happens when charisma gets mixed with 'I might ruin your life for fun.']

Parker chuckled, low and smug, like he owned every inch of chaos wrapped around him. "What can I say? It's a gift—comes with the cheekbones and the 'I'll-steal-your-soul-and-make-you-thank-me' energy."

[Seriously, how do you not have a fan club of emotionally damaged exes yet?]

"Who says I don't?" Parker's smirk turned downright sinful, the kind of grin that could ruin divine reputations and start celestial wars. "Aphrodite? Let's just say love hurts—and she learned that the hard way. Then there was that Primordial beast… what was her name again? Oh yeah, Ny'thera the Devourer of Stars—real clingy after I broke her cosmic heart. And don't even get me started on that time with Eris, Chaos goddess? Babe couldn't handle a few centuries without me and some little competition."

[You're literally the reason therapy exists in the relationship multiverse and how Lady Solvence, The Eternal Mediator made all her money and why most goddesses are her friends!]

"Hey, I don't make the rules. I just... break them, twist them, and maybe flirt with them until they cry I bet Solvence is still swimming in riches."

[You're like the cosmic equivalent of an emotionally unavailable bad boy playlist.]

Parker chuckled, dark and smooth, like every bad decision rolled into one charming disaster. "And yet, they always come back for an encore."

[I swear, if the Multiverse had a restraining order, your name would be in bold, underlined, and highlighted.]

"Levi, mon cher partenaire, that's just called being unforgettable."

His grin widened, lazy and cocky, the type that screamed trouble with extra sauce. "Anyway, enough flirting and my unresolved relationship. Time to get this creepy alien fully assimilated. Can't rule the damn playground if I'm still stuck at half-power."

Levi groaned. [You make everything sound like a bad teen drama mixed with a horror flick. Wait until they come knocking on this world.]

Parker stretched, muscles pulling with that too-casual ease that screamed predator on vacation. "Yeah, well, welcome to my Netflix special—Plunder This: The Alien's Last Life. Coming soon to ruin everyone's day."

[God, you're exhausting.]

"And sexy. Don't forget sexy."

[I'd erase myself from existence if I could.] Read latest stories on My Virtual Library Empire

"Too late. You're stuck with me, mon cher partenaire dans le crime."

[I hate you in three languages now.]

"Aw, Levi, mi amor, you're just mad you can't pull off the creepy alien vibe like me."

****

The Nexus Omni Realm thrummed like the heartbeat of the universe itself—ancient, raw, and way too damn loud for comfort. Parker stood dead center in it all, like some cosmic kingpin about to drop the hardest mixtape existence had ever heard. His body? Just chillin' back in the real world, limp and soulless like an overpriced mannequin mid-reboot.

Levi's voice cut through the void, slick and smug as ever. [Alright, Master. Time to get your act together. Assimilation round nine—let's crank this baby up.]

"Yeah, yeah, let's roll," Parker muttered, sounding like this was just another Tuesday instead of a full-on cosmic body-soul fusion. Casual as hell, like ordering fries at 3 AM—if those fries could, y'know, rebuild the fabric of your existence.

On the sidelines? Ere—furry, majestic, and suddenly feeling like the forgotten side character in a drama she didn't sign up for. Her tail flicked with sheer betrayal. "Oh, cool, yeah, just ignore me. I'm obviously just here for decoration," she thought, eyes practically shooting daggers. Suddenly—

Then—boom. It began.

The air bent. Reality folded in on itself like the universe was flexing just for Parker. Threads of Omni Energy surged out of the void, raw and alive, snapping through the space like lightning that couldn't decide if it wanted to kiss you or kill you.

But here's the twist—this wasn't just energy. This was power that answered to him. Flowing into him like it belonged there. Like the whole damn universe was saying, "You're the boss, dude."

Did Parker know that immediately after the assimilation all his multiverse exes were going to feel his comeback?