Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead

I stayed on the bench for a minute, trying to recover from the psychological whiplash of being the dumbest guy in the most advanced room in the estate.

"So… no one's gonna kick me, huh?" I asked again, peeking one eye open.

"Don't tempt me," muttered Ciel, the guy who could mimic magic, shaking his head as he grinned while sipping water.

"Honestly, Noah," continued Erza, leaning forward, elbows on her knees. "You might not be the brightest bulb, but you're definitely the…strongest?"

"A glorified lamp," Dario snorted.

"Can I at least be a magic lamp?" I tried, pushing my luck.

"No," everyone said in unison.

"Shit—" I exclaimed, acting like I'd been wronged.

Still, the mood had shifted.

It wasn't sharp or cold anymore. There was that weird thing happening—what do you call it?

Camaraderie?

Brotherhood?

Unspoken dumbass solidarity?

I didn't know, but it certainly wasn't as bad and idiotic as I thought it would be.

Even Lina, who had been borderline allergic to me since the last family dinner where I accidentally flung soup onto her dress, gave me a tiny nod. "You're funny when you're not trying to be annoying."

"Thanks," I said dryly. "That sounded almost like a compliment."

Maxin stood up, stretching his arms and cracking his neck. "Anyway, now that we've survived the great tragedy of Noah discovering how time works, I think I'm gonna hit the showers."

"Same," Vayu mumbled.

I stood up too, brushing imaginary dirt off my coat. "Well, before everyone runs off—"

They turned.

I cleared my throat dramatically and clapped once. "Team A. Assemble!"

Seraphina, Aurelia, Dario, and Erza looked up from their little cluster, instantly speeding towards my figure.

"I promised something, didn't I?" I said with a smirk, and pointed at them one by one. "Tomorrow. We hit the streets. Stroll. Shop. Eat.

My treat."

Dario raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"You were all nice enough to spare Pixie when I asked," I said, shrugging like it wasn't a big deal.

"So I pay you back. That's how it works, yeah?"

Aurelia's eyes sparkled. "Shopping?"

"Food first," Erza chimed in, rubbing her stomach. "You better not be bluffing, Noah."

I gave a lazy two-finger salute. "As long as no one orders gold-coated caviar or something cursed like octopus-flavored ice cream, we're good."

"Deal," Dario grinned.

With that, I waved toward the others still scattered across the benches. "Alright, folks. I'm out. Catch y'all soon. And try not to traumatize each other until then, yeah?"

A couple of them waved back.

Vayu nodded and even Lina gave a small finger wiggle like I was some passing merchant.

Cute.

I turned and started walking towards the exit, one of the inner walkways at the end of the rectangular VR chamber.

The walls here were smooth steel, painted with some kind of anti-reflection coating that kept it from feeling like a horror movie set.

A single long line of dim lights ran along the top like a guiding strip.

The double doors hissed open as I stepped through, entering the outer ring of the hall, cleaner, warmer, with polished gray floors and long windows overlooking the Romero Estate's central garden.

I slowed down when I reached the walkway outside.

Ahh, finally.

The air hit different out here—

Slight breeze, cool against the back of my neck, passed through me, making me feel energized all over again and since it had been only 2 hours since I went to the practice, I still had the half a day to myself.

Our House had gone all-out to give this side of the estate that "nature but rich" vibe.

Rows of neatly trimmed bushes ran along both sides of the path.

The kind of bushes that looked like they'd been groomed more than I ever had.

Every three feet, a small tree with glowing leaves had been planted, genetically modified or mana-infused or whatever.

Point is, they sparkled faintly in the dark, like the moon had dripped on them.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and walked slowly, enjoying the morning breeze.

The best part?

I wasn't in a rush.

It felt good, actually.

Even though I'd embarrassed myself in front of what was essentially my entire generation, it felt kind of right.

We'd all come out of the same mission, the same pressure, the same sweat and glitchy near-death moments.

And no one hated me for it.

That was new.

I walked past the water feature—the artificial stream that ran through the garden, cutting between the walkways like a lazy snake.

The water was clear, the pebbles at the bottom placed too perfectly to be natural.

I stopped for a second and looked at my reflection.

Still me.

White from stress hair of mine that looked like they could use a proper cut.

I had a wheatish pale face, sharp nose, and slightly confused expression.

Still…weirdly okay.

My studio apartment wasn't too far since our house had decided to sell the outer estate properties and mine was located a little deep. Just the fact that I could still live at the house I grew up with my parents seemed the best part to me.

It was cozy, had 3 bedrooms, one bath, and had a sofa so big and comfy that I'd made it my usual sleeping place in the night.

I walked up the small ramp, past a group of potted plants (fake, probably), and entered the code at the door.

The scanner beeped as the door to my house slid open.

Warm lights turned on as I flipped the switches.

The place smelled like…nothing, actually.

I'd forgotten to buy room scent again.

Note to self: do not forget again unless you want to keep the room smelling like air.

I kicked my boots off, dropped onto the nearest couch, and let out a sigh so long it could've been submitted to the drama council.

"Tomorrow's gonna be expensive," I muttered, staring up at the ceiling.

"But hey… at least I'm not dead."

"…Still dumb, though."

I grinned at myself.

Yeah.

One thing at a time.

***