Villain Hiring: Help! Author Wants Me Dead

[Aphrodite.]

[Goddess of Love, War, Beauty, and Madness]

The text lingered on the screen like a slap I hadn't braced for.

My heart stopped.

Legit stopped.

Then, a dry voice inside my skull whispered the real kicker. 'The most adored and most psychotic Goddess in recorded myth.

She doesn't 'choose' people for fun.

She crafts disasters in heels.'

My pupils dilated.

I felt something cold trickle down my back—not blood.

Not sweat.

Just pure, undiluted dread.

"...You know her," I muttered, turning my gaze inward.

Damien didn't reply right away.

"Hey," I pressed harder, "You knew it was her. Why didn't you say anything?"

No response.

"You're trembling," I added.

'I DO NOT TREMBLE,' Damien snapped, voice a pitch too high.

"You're literally jelly," I said, pointing to his blob-like essence quivering in the corner of my mind.

He instantly shape-shifted into a sharp cube, the horns atop them looking almost too funny.

'I have important system maintenance tasks. I'm going now.' Damien said, trying to escape his way out.

"Oh no you don't," I snarled, holding my finger at the air like a madman swatting ghosts. "You owe me one secret reward for completing the hidden mission.

You promised.

Don't play slippery right now."

"This is not a good time. The stars are misaligned. The mana fields are shifting. Your nose is still bleeding—Noah."

"I WILL ERASE MY BROWSER HISTORY AND NEVER SPEAK OF THE NSFW STUFF I RECENTLY LEARNT ABOUT AGAIN IF YOU JUST TELL ME."

There was silence.

A long, painful one.

Damien coughed.

"…Fine."

He slithered back into full-blown sphere form and gave what could only be described as a sigh of existential regret.

"You want your secret reward? Here's your prize, oh you dumb heir."

"The line of events supposed to happen according to the book of sin have changed."

I blinked. "Come again?"

'Your predetermined death was supposed to occur at the hands of Azazel Daffneer, right? That cocky little heroic prince?'

"Yeah, the guy who turns into a literal demon-hell-wolf hybrid in Volume 3. Don't tell me he's about to evolve faster or—"

'No.'

'He's not the threat anymore.'

I froze.

"Wha—"

Something about the way Damien said it—like a prophet giving the final spoiler before the series finale—made my bones rattle.

'The Book of Sin rewrote itself two days ago. Your death is still confirmed.'

'But the one destined to end your existence... is none other than the girl you were drooling over five minutes ago.'

'Sia Daffneer.'

"…Excuse me what now?" I whispered like my soul just left the chat.

My knees buckled, and I straight up sat on the soft velevty sofa of mine like a stunned toddler at his first funeral.

My mouth opened, but no sound came out.

I checked the tablet again like the words would vanish.

They didn't.

[God Chosen: Aphrodite]

[Classification: RED]

[Mental State: Unstable with potential for divine hysteria.]

[Divine Madness Quotient: 72% — approaching Event Horizon.]

I blinked at those lines, and then my voice finally cracked out of me like a dying pigeon.

"She's gonna kill me…?"

'Yes. In an half a year according to the updated prophecy thread.'

'Give or take an hour.'

'Depends on her mood.'

I swallowed nothing and nearly choked.

"Why?!"

'I don't know!' Damien shouted.

'Aphrodite's chosen ones aren't bound by logic!

They're driven by obsession, heartbreak, ecstasy, and pure divine chaos!'

'For all I know, she might kill you because your shoelace was untied or because you said her eyeliner was uneven—'

"I NEVER SAID THAT—!"

'BUT SHE COULD THINK YOU DID!'

I buried my face in my hands, groaning into my palms. "I'm so screwed."

This wasn't normal danger. This wasn't some academy rival or a beast with two cores.

This was divine-level lunacy packed in an 18-year-old OCD princess with a traumatized heart and a kill-switch for emotions.

"Fuck…"

She was the kind of person who could smile while vaporizing an entire castle just to prove a point.

"You're not entirely screwed..." Damien offered hesitantly.

I peeked through my fingers. "There's more?"

'You could still win. You just need to make sure she doesn't want to kill you.'

'Which means running away with your tail tucked in between your legs the moment you see a 5 foot 5inch tall women'

I gave Damien an almost dead stare as I looked at him weirdly.

Was I still talking to the same Villain Making System who said he was a half god and nothing could scare him?

"I want you to survive. Whatever that takes." Damien said, the expressions of his on that blue ball of floating mass a little too serious.

I threw my head back and stared at the ceiling. "I was supposed to be the villain, not a runaway prince who avoids a girl like a fucking coward."

The room was quiet for a moment. The weight of the new prophecy—its absurdity, its inevitability—sank in like lead.

Then Damien muttered softly, voice almost reverent.

'Aphrodite has only ever chosen four champions in all of written history.

Two became emperors.

One became a world-ending tyrant.

The last one…'

"...What?"

'Fell in love with her.

Then she killed him.'

I stopped breathing.

Dead silence.

I shakily stood back up, grabbed the tablet like it owed me rent money, and scrolled to the very bottom of the file.

A single line blinked back at me.

[WARNING: Any romantic engagements with her are highly discouraged unless one has a death wish.]

"I hate this world," I muttered, blankly staring at the screen.

"You and me both," Damien sighed, running off to I don't know where since he became totally silent afterwards.

Ughhhh

'Why did she have to be so dangerous…' I thought, 'especially a girl as beautiful as her—'

***

A/N: Please note that this is the second month of my premium and thus, from the following month, the offer of all priv tiers being below 99 coins would be over.

So I request you to continue supporting me with gifts and golden tickets, and motivate me to upload more chapters by the day.

Every 1500 coins worth gift = 1 Bonus Chapter.

Every 5000 coins worth gift = 5 Bonus Chapters.

Every 15 Golden Tickets = 1 Bonus Chapter.