Warhammer: I Don't Want to Become a Stinky Can!!!

Hades gripped his scythe with both hands, using all his strength to block a devastating slash from the enemy lord. The two were locked in a desperate stalemate.

Herera's figure gradually faded from view, and Hades breathed a quiet sigh of relief. But facing the psychic lord Lazal, he couldn't afford to let his guard down for even a moment.

The gap in their strength was too vast. A single mistake would cost Hades his life.

As if sensing Hades's plan to have Herera call for reinforcements, Lord Lazal's twisted, grotesque face contorted into something resembling a mocking grin.

"Pathetic trash! You won't last long enough for that monster to arrive! Your weak body will be torn to shreds!!!"

Hades gritted his teeth, his entire body trembling from the strain, but he managed to squeeze out a few words.

"Lazal, but you've already lost, haven't you?"

Lord Lazal flew into a rage. His bloodstained, battered body was proof that he had been on the losing end of his battle with Mortarion.

From his car-sized body, another claw suddenly emerged, reeking of blood and filth, and slashed down at Hades with lightning speed!

Damn it! Shouldn't have provoked him! I've got a big mouth!

Hades immediately hooked his scythe to deflect the force, spinning the shaft to dissipate the impact while leaping backward to the right. The claw, glowing with a sickly green-black poison, narrowly missed him.

That was close!

That guy's claws were definitely poisoned. A single scratch would probably be the end of him!

Damn it, he was facing a max-level enchanted melee mage, while he was just a rookie fresh out of the tutorial zone!

Adrenaline surged through Hades's veins as his mind raced to come up with a plan. He carefully observed the terrain and his opponent, analyzing the current situation.

They were on a narrow mountain path, with a bottomless cliff on one side and a towering rock face on the other. Scattered rocks littered the path, and a few dead trees jutted out from the cliffside.

Aside from the desperate option of jumping off the cliff to gamble on survival, the terrain offered him no advantages. He even had to be wary of Lazal throwing him off the cliff.

Hades's gaze locked onto Lord Lazal. The lord was a grotesque hybrid of human and tiger, with an ugly, bloated face covered in drool-soaked whiskers. His car-sized body was riddled with strange indentations, from which the sudden claws had emerged.

On his back, embedded in the densest cluster of indentations, was a fist-sized, eerie stone glowing faintly green.

According to previous investigations by the Death Guard rebels, this stone was some kind of psychic amplifier that Lazal had obtained through human sacrifices.

Lazal had originally been a minor lord in a remote area, but after acquiring this stone, he had used its powerful psychic sorcery to win numerous wars against other lords, gradually gaining control of the Morar region.

But what puzzled Hades was that Lazal hadn't used any psychic sorcery in his attacks so far, relying solely on his physical strength.

This was strange behavior, completely inconsistent with the Death Guard's previous intelligence on Lord Lazal.

Hades quickly formulated two possibilities in his mind. The first was that Lazal was deliberately using physical attacks to lull Hades into a false sense of security, making him drop his guard against psychic sorcery.

The second possibility was that Lazal had been severely injured in his earlier battle with Mortarion and was currently unable to use his psychic abilities.

But Hades knew Lazal was already on the run from Mortarion. A fleeing lord wouldn't waste his remaining psychic energy on a minor soldier like Hades.

So it was likely that Lord Lazal had been injured in his battle with Mortarion and couldn't use his psychic powers.

Hades silently prayed it was the second option. Fighting a weakened, mana-drained melee mage was at least within the realm of possibility for him.

At the very least, his chances of survival had improved.

While his mind raced, Hades's body didn't stop moving. He adopted a defensive strategy, hopping around comically on the narrow mountain path to dodge Lazal's attacks.

He swung his scythe, the massive blade deflecting most of Lazal's strikes. Claws clashed against the reinforced steel scythe, sparks flying with each collision.

When Hades couldn't dodge, he used his heavily armored forearms and shins to block the attacks. Bright red blood mixed with black-green poison splattered across the gray-yellow mountain path, mingling with Lazal's own blood.

While Hades focused on solid defense and buying time, Lord Lazal grew increasingly frantic.

Time was running out! He couldn't let this insignificant soldier delay him until that monster Mortarion arrived! He needed to escape!

If only his psychic teleportation hadn't been interrupted earlier! He hadn't reacted in time, allowing the other soldier to escape!

Lord Lazal's mind was in turmoil. His once-proud sorcery had been utterly crushed by Mortarion's godlike scythe skills. Knowing that continuing the fight would mean certain death, he had immediately sought to escape using psychic teleportation.

Even if Mortarion was powerful, what could he do without psychic sorcery? He could only watch helplessly as Lazal teleported away.

But Lazal's prized sorcery had suddenly failed him. He had set the teleportation endpoint at the foot of the mountain, but midway through, he felt his connection to the Warp weaken.

Barbarus was a planet with a thin barrier to the Warp, allowing psychic lords to easily draw power from it.

But suddenly, that connection had been severed. The increasingly dense laws of the physical world pressed down on Lord Lazal, forcing him to abort the teleportation.

He was ejected from the Warp mid-teleport, and when he emerged, he saw Hades and Herera mopping up fleeing soldiers.

What was going on?!

Not only that, but his connection to the Warp was growing weaker by the moment! He couldn't even focus enough to cast a simple psychic spell!!!

No! This can't be happening!!!

What's going on??!

As he fought Hades, Lord Lazal's mind raced through the countless forbidden tomes he had studied over the years. One by one, forbidden terms flashed before his eyes.

Finally, deep in his memory, he found a word—

"Untouchable."

Could this insignificant soldier be an Untouchable???!

No, impossible! Untouchables were nothing more than old legends. Even in the fabled Golden Age, there were no records of Untouchables!

Lazal wasn't a lord who believed in rumors, but his increasingly fragile connection to the Warp was a constant reminder. He could even feel his soul slowly being drained since he began fighting this soldier.

No!!! Impossible!!! Aside from a monster like Mortarion, no lowly human could threaten Lord Lazal!!!

They were garbage! Weak insects!!! Common weeds!!! They couldn't possibly be the stuff of legends!!

Lord Lazal's keen senses detected the tremors of Mortarion's heavy footsteps descending the mountain path. Time was almost up!!

This damn, jumping insect! A mere mortal relying on pathetic physical attacks!!!

I, Lazal, am far above you!!!

Die!!!

Ignoring his dangerously weak connection to the Warp, Lazal extended a pale, human-like hand from one of the indentations on his back. The space around the hand began to distort, and eerie white light crackled and gathered in his palm.

He would obliterate this insect in one strike!!!

Hades stared intently at the white light gathering in Lazal's hand, raising his scythe to protect his vital areas.

From his time with Typhon, Hades knew that if he turned and ran downhill now, he wouldn't be able to escape the range of the psychic attack.

But… he could try—

—running uphill!

He feigned a defensive stance while keeping his eyes locked on a dead tree protruding from the cliffside.

He planned to leap up at the moment the attack was unleashed, hook his scythe onto the tree, and use the momentum to swing up and avoid the blast!

If the psychic attack's shockwave was strong enough, it might even carry him to safety above!

Lazal wouldn't turn around to finish him off—he was also trying to escape!

Although Hades had blocked most of Lazal's attacks, the cuts on his limbs were starting to go numb, and the blood loss was making him dizzy.

Despite biting his tongue to stay focused, Hades knew he couldn't hold out much longer.

If Mortarion didn't arrive within the next two minutes, Hades would have no choice but to jump off the cliff.

In other words,

The next move from either side would decide the outcome of the battle.

However, something neither of them expected happened.

As Hades focused most of his attention on the gathering psychic energy, in a dimension he couldn't perceive, the spherical black hole-like aura surrounding him began to distort. The pure black void twisted and writhed as if alive, slowly creeping forward.

If one were to observe Hades from the Warp, they would see a dense, pure black humanoid figure at the center, radiating black light like a tiny star. Wherever the black light touched, it consumed everything.

But as the observer moved further away, the black light grew weaker until it blended into the impure darkness of the Warp.

Since both were black, it was hard to notice this small black figure in the Warp.

At this moment, Hades's black void slowly and irreversibly deformed, consuming the yellow-green light belonging to Lord Lazal. The floating fragments of pus and flesh nearby were also devoured.

Father Nurgle murmured softly in his sleep.

Hades stared intently at Lord Lazal.

Suddenly!!! The violent white light in Lazal's hand vanished as if it had never existed, and the stone on his back exploded, sending a massive shockwave radiating outward!

The shockwave rushed toward Hades. Without hesitation, Hades used the force to leap into the air, swinging his scythe upward. The reinforced blade hooked onto the roots of the dead tree!

Hades pulled himself up with both hands, using the momentum to swing in a perfect arc around the tree!

His blood sprayed out as he swung, tracing his path through the air.

His senses were heightened to the extreme, and time seemed to slow to a crawl. Hades could hear his heart beating slowly, once.

He was now above and to the side of Lord Lazal. The monster, having endured a strange explosion, was still alive. His back was split open, and blood gushed out like a fountain.

But he wasn't dead yet. Hades could clearly see his struggling limbs and hear his dying wails.

This was his chance!!!

Without hesitation, Hades released the scythe from the tree. In mid-air, he swung the blade down with all his might toward the monster's head.

At the same time, "Hades!!!"

Mortarion and Herera appeared on the mountain path above. Along with them came a dagger Mortarion hurled at Lazal.

But Hades, mid-air, didn't notice any of this.

His mind was empty, entirely focused on the scythe in his hands.

Then, Hades swung the scythe of death and harvest—

—and heads and blood flew together.

He was a Death Guard. He was humanity's scythe.

___________________________________________________

The protagonist has a Pariah-like constitution, but for simplicity, it will be referred to as a Pariah from now on.

In the early stages, readers can think of the protagonist as a more powerful variant of a Pariah.

There's a minor plot hole here: a normal human woman likely wouldn't be able to keep up with a Primarch's full-speed run. But I felt it was necessary for Herera to witness the protagonist's heroic moment, so let's chalk it up to the power of love. Maybe.