Brooklyn Nine Nine

Chapter 12: The Inspection

Morning in the Briefing, Captain Holt stood at the front of the briefing room, clipboard in hand, gaze sharp.

"Attention," Holt began. "We've been notified that a high-ranking NYPD official will be conducting a surprise inspection today. Focus: cleanliness, organization, and procedural efficiency."

The bullpen collectively groaned.

Holt continued, ignoring the noise. "We'll be graded on response time, report completion rates, and general precinct condition. Given the 99's colorful history… I suggest we exceed expectations."

Jake sat up straighter. "Copy that, Captain. I'll take point on bullpen prep."

Amy's head whipped around. "Wait—you want to organize?"

Jake smirked. "I'm trying something new here like being responsible and stuff. It's like a new cologne. Smells like 'Not Getting Yelled At.'"

Amy nodded, impressed but also slightly panicked. "I've already started a cleaning schedule and drafted task charts." She pulled out laminated sheets. "Color-coded, time-slotted, and bullet-pointed."

Boyle, holding a tray of mini muffins, grinned. "I'm making a welcome table! Nothing says 'efficiency' like baked goods from three different boroughs!"

Rosa stared. "No one cares about muffins, Boyle."

Boyle looked crushed. "But these are organic!"

Gina walked by, scrolling on her phone. "Wake me when the inspector asks for fashion tips or Twitter follower counts."

"Or actual help," Amy muttered.

"I heard that," Gina said, smiling.

Hitchcock and Scully raised their hands at the same time. "What do you want us to do?"

Jake didn't miss a beat. "Stay seated. Stay quiet. Try not to eat any official documents this time."

Hitchcock shrugged. "No promises."

Inside Bullpen Blitz Jake divided the squad.

[Amy Supervising report filing and desk organization, Boyle Setting up his "Welcome Table" near the entrance, Gina "Supervising" but secretly wiping down surfaces when no one was looking, Rosa Clearing out weapons from places they shouldn't be (like under desks), Jake Doing a final sweep and double-checking every corner]

Jake walked by Amy's desk. "Nice pen holder setup. Very… Type-A chic."

Amy shot him a glare but smiled. "Thank you. Also, your evidence logs are finally up to date. It's weirdly unsettling."

Jake winked. "I'm growing. Like a responsible office plant."

Boyle called out from the welcome table. "Who wants to sample the bacon-wrapped dates? They're cooling fast!"

"No," Rosa, Amy, and Gina answered in unison.

With just fifteen minutes to go, disaster struck.

Hitchcock knocked over a box of unsorted case files while reaching for a donut.

"Uh-oh," he said, blankly staring at the scattered paperwork.

Jake groaned. "Unbelievable."

Amy panicked. "This was not on my crisis flowchart!"

Gina, sighing dramatically, helped pick up files with one hand while still texting with the other.

Jake took control. "Rosa, help me with the heavy boxes. Boyle, keep the food setup tight. Amy, do one final desk walkthrough. Gina, keep doing… whatever it is you're doing that somehow helps."

Everyone scrambled.

By 11:29 AM, the bullpen looked spotless. Desks lined neatly, evidence files re-filed, floors mopped, and Boyle's weird little welcome table set with non-toxic snacks.

A tall, stern-looking NYPD official named Deputy Chief Gerber entered the precinct.

Holt greeted him with his usual stone face. "Welcome to the Nine-Nine, Deputy Chief."

Gerber scanned the room. Clean desks. Organized files. Even Hitchcock and Scully were sitting upright… mostly.

Jake stood near the whiteboard, arms folded, hiding how out of breath he still was from the cleanup sprint.

The inspection lasted twenty minutes. Gerber reviewed reports, glanced over the evidence room, complimented the organization, and — shockingly — he took a mini muffin from Boyle's table.

At the end, Gerber turned to Holt.

"Impressive. This precinct is… functional."

Which, coming from Gerber, was the equivalent of a standing ovation.

Holt nodded once. "Thank you, Deputy Chief Gerber."

As the inspector left, the squad let out a collective breath.

Boyle pumped his fist. "He took a muffin! That's a win for team snacks!"

Jake collapsed into his chair. "We survived. Barely."

Amy crossed her arms, smiling. "You actually led this whole thing. The new you is freaking me out a little."

Jake grinned. "Yeah, well… don't get used to it. I'll still annoy you tomorrow."

Gina walked by. "I demand cupcakes for this emotional labor."

Jake called after her. "Bill it to Boyle's snack budget."

Boyle yelled, "Worth it!"

And just like that, the bullpen settled back into its normal, lovable chaos.