Delusive Fate

#047

“Ah, hyung,”

Holding a mug half-full of coffee, I stared blankly at Ki Baek-woo. Ki Baek-woo, who had been sitting absent-mindedly on a dining chair, suddenly stood up at my call. He moved so hastily that the cheap chair fell over with a loud clatter.

“Sorry. Did I startle you? I’m sorry, hyung.”

Ki Baek-woo awkwardly smiled as he hurriedly picked up the fallen chair. I looked Ki Baek-woo up and down as he stood uneasily with his back to the table. He looked terrible.

The area under his eyes was red as if advertising his lack of sleep, his eyelids were swollen and reddened, making his double eyelids thinner, as if desperate not to show he’d been crying all day yesterday. Even his lips had scabs on them, as if wanting to announce to the whole neighborhood that he’d been through emotional turmoil. His appearance was like that of a gambler who had lost everything – money, friends, family – and was on the verge of suicide.

Of course, with Ki Baek-woo’s level of beauty, even in such a disheveled state, rather than looking sloppy, it gave off more of a:

‘Ah! A precious, decadent beauty steeped in melancholy. Being with this man would likely ruin my perfectly normal life, but despite that, I want to give him everything. I want to embrace him and jump into a pit of fire…’

kind of feeling. It really is an unfair world.

Anyway, even though Ki Baek-woo had a complexion I’d never seen before and was fidgeting like a dog that needed to poop, I didn’t feel any particular worry or special emotion.

In the past, I would have felt sorry for him even while knowing that his behavior was due to feeling uncomfortable about his relationship with Jung Yi-dam. But now, I was merely curious about what kind of thoughts had been running through Ki Baek-woo’s head all night to make him act like this.

“Hyung, come and sit down quickly.”

Ki Baek-woo, who had been hesitating, said that while still seeming unsure. I slightly frowned one eye, feeling a bit dumbfounded. Ki Baek-woo, pulling out the chair like a gentleman escorting a lady and looking at me, didn’t seem quite normal.

Is he doing that for me to sit down?

Although I had doubts about this strange scene, the place where Ki Baek-woo had pulled out the chair was indeed where I always sat for meals. What is this crazy guy trying to do with me now? It seemed like I’d been having such doubts every single day since this regression.

This Ki Baek-woo was clearly wrong, very wrong. If until yesterday, his strange behavior was limited to clinging to me and being clingy as if he couldn’t live without me, it seemed like from today, he was planning to implement some new eccentricity.

Yes, this was a bit strange from the start.

I glanced at the beige mug in my hand.

The coffee waiting for me on the bedside table when I opened my eyes in the morning. [Drink me!] I looked around to see if there was such a suspicious tag attached somewhere, but no matter how I looked, it was just ordinary coffee in an ordinary cup.

No, no. The modifier “just ordinary coffee” was a bit lacking for this coffee. It was perfect coffee prepared to my taste – warm Americano instead of iced for mornings, and at a comfortably lukewarm temperature so it’s not too hot to drink.

I hadn’t picked up any snails, so there was no way a fairy housewife had appeared, and there was no way a passionate stalker existed who would break in and make coffee for me out of madness.

Moreover, I’m a dirty adult who, if a rabbit with a watch appeared, wouldn’t feel curiosity but would instead think about how much that watch is worth and whether it’s stolen goods or not, so I wouldn’t be invited to any strange countries. So it was clearly coffee that Ki Baek-woo had brought.

Normally, I would have been more suspicious.

‘Why would Ki Baek-woo bring me coffee? This is a service I’ve only received a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long time ago, before Jung Yi-dam appeared. Is it poisoned? Is he planning to assassinate me and live comfortably with Jung Yi-dam? This bastard didn’t secretly take out a life insurance policy on me, did he?’

Of course, if Ki Baek-woo had decided to kill me directly, that would have been the death I was meant to face this time, so I would have ended up downing the coffee in one shot anyway. But at least I wouldn’t have just brushed it off with a mundane thought like “Hmm, that’s unusual” like today.

The reason I acted carelessly was because of the improved mood I hadn’t felt in almost twenty-five years. I felt a bit happy and light-hearted. I felt confident that I could do anything. In other words, for once, I felt like a person rather than an insect.

See, I can do it too. It’s not just Ki Baek-woo who can abandon me. If I just don’t love him, if I don’t have that filthy emotion, I could have thrown away someone like Ki Baek-woo long ago! No matter how much Ki Baek-woo is the center of this world and the great protagonist, he’s nothing to me! Long live Han-sol’s independence! Hahahahaha!

This elated feeling made me positive for the first time in a while. Yeah, if it’s poisoned coffee, I’ll just drink it and die. Let’s not make a fuss over a cup of coffee. Thinking too much just builds up stress. If possible, I wanted to maintain this feeling for as long as I could.

‘Is he acting like this because he’s being considerate after I told him to leave yesterday? But why isn’t this guy leaving? It would be a great opportunity for him to move in with Jung Yi-dam. Well, anyway, the coffee smells amazing.’

I just thought that and left it at that. I should have been more suspicious. Although there’s nothing I could have done even if I had been suspicious.

The good mood I had for once was ruined by Ki Baek-woo standing in front of the dining table, watching me. Ki Baek-woo, unable to hide his anxious look for some reason, rubbed the back of the chair, looked around needlessly, and then bit his lower lip hard. So that’s how he got the scab. Did he stay up all night biting his lips? Not that it matters either way. While I was thinking to myself, Ki Baek-woo, unable to bear the silence, called out to me softly.

“Hyung.”

“What.”

“Come and sit down. You’ve had coffee, should I give you juice? Or tea? We have peppermint and chamomile…”

Ki Baek-woo glanced at the mug in my hand, then looked at me once, and when our eyes met, he quickly lowered his gaze and mumbled.

His intentions were suspicious, and I just didn’t like it. As I stared blankly without saying anything, Ki Baek-woo approached with an urgent yet hesitant attitude. He took the mug I was holding and briefly held my forearm. It was such a weak touch that it’s hardly worth describing as holding.

“Quickly… okay?”

“What exactly are you trying to do? Hey, don’t grab me.”

I shook off the strangely acting Ki Baek-woo and sat down in the kitchen. Something was already well-prepared on the table. I had wondered why the house was full of sweet and soft smells, it must have been the smell of pancakes. Perfectly cooked pancakes were beautifully placed on a plate. Well, the golden-brown pancakes looked delicious and it was indeed breakfast time, but why suddenly pancakes?

This wasn’t a menu we often ate normally. I don’t like such cute things. I lived openly rough. Kim Jin-oh, Ham Yun-a, and other colleagues I often raided with all laughed, finding it funny. What did they say? That I looked like I’d be a picky eater and wouldn’t touch anything that wasn’t clean, but I actually ate things that fell on the ground well. In any case, they meant I looked nasty but acted like a beggar.

It’s a bit unfair. Why am I a beggar? I did pick up and eat things I accidentally dropped a few times during raid meals, but those were all within 3 seconds. If you pick it up and eat it within 3 seconds, it’s all clean.

Anyway, Ki Baek-woo wasn’t different from me. This guy, if you look closely, had some subtle delicate aspects, but at least that didn’t apply to meals. We both thought it was better to grill meat than to fiddle around making cute things like pancakes. If we wanted bread, we’d make something substantial like toast. But pancakes?

While I was raising my eyebrows at the unexpected menu, Ki Baek-woo rushed over, put a fork and butter knife in my hand, and asked,

“You said you wanted to eat this last time… Should I give you honey and butter? We also have cream.”

“I did?”

When did I…

“You said it last time. While watching a drama, there were pancakes in it. You said it looked delicious and asked me to make it…”

Ki Baek-woo answered with a gradually shrinking voice. I didn’t remember at all. It must have been before the regression timing. If it was that, it’s natural that I can’t remember something from over twenty years ago. There’s no need to remember such trivial daily life that will never be relevant to us again.

That’s fine for me, but it was more surprising that Ki Baek-woo remembered such a trivial thing. Although it would be a recent conversation for him, Ki Baek-woo should have already lost interest in daily life with me. He was the type to soon forget our birthdays or anniversaries. But what? I asked for pancakes? And he made them because of that? It wasn’t even funny.

Why on earth is he acting like this? Has he really gone mad?

As I remained silent with an indifferent attitude, Ki Baek-woo hesitated and spoke again.

“If you don’t like it, should I make something else? I’m sorry. I should have made it earlier, but with the gates overlapping… I was too late for various reasons, right?”

Is there anything else you want to eat? Just tell me. I’ll make it right away.