Delusive Fate

#049

He looked pale as if he hadn’t slept for days, and his once soft skin had visibly become dry. The master doesn’t care about that. After all, this isn’t the master’s concern, but something the slave should take care of.

Master Lee Han-sol stands up only when he thinks he has made slave Ki Baek-woo do enough massage labor. Then the slave, realizing the master is about to go to the bedroom, quickly comes out with the dehumidifier, air purifier, and scented candles he had kept in there. The master sits on the sofa, watching the slave busily moving around all day, and then clicks his tongue out of habit and gets up.

Master, are you going to sleep?

The slave follows closely behind. The master crosses the bedroom threshold without responding and closes the door after giving the slave standing in front an unpleasant look. He sleeps.

And morning. Repeat.

There was no exaggeration here. Ki Baek-woo’s care was perfect. Maybe Ki Baek-woo was a slave in his past life? Ki Baek-woo even seemed to find joy in being used as a slave, beyond just working professionally.

Ki Baek-woo had been looking gloomy these days. He seemed to be trying to hide it, but I could see right through it. It’s a shitty fact, but I’m an expert on Ki Baek-woo. Anyway, Ki Baek-woo’s skin, which used to be smooth like a peeled egg, was visibly dry and lacking moisture, the area under his eyes was increasingly spreading with fatigue, and he had noticeably lost weight in such a short time.

If we were to evaluate Ki Baek-woo’s current quality:

– Face condition: A-grade with the special effect of a handsome man worn out by fatigue.

– Physical condition: C-grade with both fat loss and muscle loss. But considering that a man’s body is an area heavily dependent on personal preference, B-grade.

– Health condition: D-grade, looking like he might die tomorrow or the day after.

– Final average score: C+

Such a Ki Baek-woo, while making me think, “Why is he in that state? Isn’t he going to collapse soon?”, would perk up his ears and his eyes would shine whenever I asked him to do something. He seemed to want me to keep using him. I wasn’t sure if he just didn’t like staying still or if being a slave really suited him.

When Ki Baek-woo first voluntarily became a slave man. I didn’t start exploiting Ki Baek-woo excitedly from that moment.

At first, I was tired. Annoyed and bewildered. Then I soon became angry. The good mood I had for the first time in a long while seemed not just ruined but buried in the ground. While I was cutting and eating pancakes at the table in a daze, at least once every minute, images of Ki Baek-woo dying in various ways flashed through my mind.

‘Get lost. Just leave me alone. Why are you acting up again? What kind of new bullshit is this? Can’t you just leave me be? Do this kind of thing for Jung Yi-dam. I told you enough yesterday. I said you’re disgusting to me. I told you to get lost, you slut! Does what I say not make sense? Ah, right. I see. When was it? You said it yourself, Ki Baek-woo. That I was an abandoned dog. A dirty stray that someone threw away. You treated me like a diseased animal not worth keeping, and now my words don’t sound like human speech to you? Is that it?’

All sorts of negative thoughts were boiling. My mind was a chaotic mess of killkillkillKILLKILLKILLkill thoughts. So all day long, I acted like a rabid dog, finding fault with everything.

To give one specific example, this happened when I spilled coffee while drinking. I was trying to act cool, drinking coffee while half-lying on the sofa backrest, when I spilled it as if there was a hole in my chin. My neck and chest were quickly soaked with coffee. And just as quickly, Ki Baek-woo came running to wipe my face with a tissue.

Although there was no risk of getting hurt since it was cold coffee anyway, Ki Baek-woo looked at my face this way and that as if worried, then took off the top he was wearing and handed it to me.

‘Hyung, your clothes are wet. Take them off and give them to me.’

‘My clothes are wet, so why are you taking yours off? Are you a pervert?’

‘You’ll be cold. Just wear this for a moment. We shouldn’t let coffee stain your clothes… I’ll just soak that in detergent water and bring you new clothes. Okay?’

Ki Baek-woo, half-kneeling below the sofa, said that as if he was asking a favor. His pleading tone made me feel rebellious instead. Someone might think we’re outside. Taking off his own clothes in case I might be cold for a moment, saying he’ll hand wash the shabby clothes I only wear at home, telling me to stay still here while he brings new clothes when the closet is just a few steps away. And even doing all this as if begging, as if pleading to let him do it.

It was ridiculous. This is definitely not the Ki Baek-woo I know. There must be some dirty ulterior motive. But Ki Baek-woo was looking at me with innocent eyes as if he had no such intentions at all. This son of a bitch, he’s determined to deceive me somehow. I felt irritated. Hypocrisy was more disgusting than evil.

I obediently took off my wet clothes and handed them to Ki Baek-woo, and put my head through the clothes Ki Baek-woo had been wearing until just now. As I did so, I said,

‘Ki Baek-woo, you… you’re really good at this.’

‘I am…? At what?’

‘Taking care of others. Since when did you have this talent?’

Ki Baek-woo glanced at his clothes, which were quite loose on me, and hesitated for a moment. Then, with clearer eyes, he asked,

‘Do you like it?’

‘Well… I guess it’s comfortable.’

‘I’ll do better. Even better.’

Is he saying he’s going to show off more here? Feeling provoked, I felt competitive. Seeing a strange vitality return to his tired face, I forced a smile.

‘Is there anything better you can do? Just do as you usually do.’

‘I, I’ve always been good to you… usually.’

‘Right, you weren’t the type to dislike doing things for me. You did take good care of things. Affectionately… Ah, so that’s why.’

As I nodded as if understanding something, Ki Baek-woo blinked slowly. His submissive act was detestable. I spoke in a voice as bright as Ki Baek-woo was shitty.

‘Baek-woo, you spread your affection around because you’re so caring.’

‘…Huh?’

‘Looks like our Ki Baek-woo has a lot of love to give. Time really flies. You were just this big. This little thing always following me around calling me hyung… When did you grow up to have someone else you like besides me? Right?’

Ki Baek-woo’s face, which had seemed excited for a moment, instantly turned pale. My heart pounded at the sight. It was unclear whether it was because I felt good or because I was angry. Words flowed out uncontrollably.

‘I get it. I was wondering why Ki Baek-woo was making such a fuss and bothering people more than usual, but it’s because your love has doubled! You’ve found one more person to like, so your heart is overflowing with love. You can’t contain it? Is that why you’re being so attentive, unnecessarily serving me like this? Hm?’

Or are you practicing? Do you want to be good to that person, so you’re experimenting on me to see how much you can do? What’s the right answer? I’m curious. Tell me, Baek-woo.

As I was putting on a one-man show, Ki Baek-woo’s head drooped powerlessly towards the floor. The briefly lively atmosphere quickly became dim with dejection. This is another bout of crazy bullshit. Pretending to be pitiful, pretending to be struggling, pretending to regret!

Why do you keep provoking me? If you had left me alone, this wouldn’t have happened. Why are you tormenting someone who was trying to live quietly and die quietly? Do you think I’m not tired of doing this? You son of a bitch.

‘Something about a chrysalis, acting like a child even when you’re all grown up…. Looking at you now, I think you’re really an adult now. But… isn’t it time for you to come out into the world? Baek-woo, the cocoon is curious.’

‘……’

‘It’s asking when you’re planning to tear it apart and leave, what do you think? Can you tell me?’

Ki Baek-woo looked at me with a face that seemed like he was going to die. Even such a miserable face didn’t particularly improve my mood, and I repeated such outbursts several times. I was determined to see who would win.

And Ki Baek-woo won.

Ki Baek-woo continuously acted as my servant, and I continuously lashed out and scolded him. The first one to fall was me. Actually, getting angry is also a very tiring thing. I’m originally quick to give up compared to how much I rave. I’m really confident in losing, giving up, and feeling discouraged.

Anyway, there’s a considerable difference in the required calories between muttering angrily to yourself and directly yelling at someone, and as a person who doesn’t have the energy to sustain that, my solo battle finally ended after just one full day. That’s when it started. When I began to squeeze out Ki Baek-woo’s labor.

When I gave up and accepted reality, Ki Baek-woo was quite a good worker and a usable slave man. His proactive service provided without missing a minute or second, his docility that didn’t rebel no matter what I did, his submissiveness that always bowed his head obediently. Ki Baek-woo was extremely subservient. Apart from whether I liked it or not, it was also surprising if this was an attitude that a person with a real sense of self could show.

Even I, who was certified as the most worthless human in this world, wasn’t like that from the beginning, keeping my mouth shut. Even I, who had thrown myself away because I didn’t want to live without Ki Baek-woo, wasn’t like that. How could Ki Baek-woo, with his clear and unchanging sense of self created by the system, do this?

Putting aside the tiresome question of “Why is this Ki Baek-woo like this?”, in conclusion, I started to find enjoyment in using Ki Baek-woo. Although Ki Baek-woo had voluntarily become a slave man, exploiting him made me feel like I was unilaterally tormenting him. Like how past Ki Baek-woos had tormented past Lee Han-sols. That was fun.

I thought he should suffer a bit too.