Delusive Fate

#079

Jung Yi-dam had a lot to say. He had always been diligent and faithful to his role. After Lee Han-sol died before his eyes, he didn’t even commit the sin of doubting. He firmly believed that as long as there was love in this world and people who knew how to love, someday they would complete that love and live happily ever after. I will love with a heart so intense it feels like I’m suffocating to death. I’ll do so until I die. I’ll repeat a life of loving as if I’m dying. Once it starts burning, it will never go out. If only it keeps burning.

Jung Yi-dam approached Ki Baek-woo with a sincere and pure heart. As with other targets, it became easier to raise affection levels with each iteration. The reason this tedious process didn’t feel mundane was because the target was Ki Baek-woo. Because it was Lee Han-sol who had assigned Ki Baek-woo to him. The god of love wearing a human shell.

Lee Han-sol expressed love with his whole being tirelessly every time. At the final gate, he saved Jung Yi-dam and, crushed between the teeth of destruction in his place, whispered with a noble gasp:

“Baek-woo… do you hate me that much…?”

Lee Han-sol barely pronounced these short words with a fading voice, but Jung Yi-dam now knew how to interpret the full meaning of everything he said. To the ears of the lonely and foolish, that voice would only sound like Ki Baek-woo’s name….

Don’t fall, child. I prove to you once again, never look back and move forward. The fountain of love will be there.

Jung Yi-dam was the only one who could correctly hear these great words full of revelation. He was overwhelmed by this fact and faithfully followed the will of the god.

Jung Yi-dam was fine. Even as he watched Ki Baek-woo show no signs of change no matter how many iterations passed. Even as his bizarre behavior of searching for Lee Han-sol after the ending became more elaborate, rather than giving his heart to Jung Yi-dam. Jung Yi-dam didn’t hastily become discouraged. He drew strength thinking of Lee Han-sol, watching Ki Baek-woo die searching for him.

Ki Baek-woo showed many brilliant and beautiful sights. The time he broke Lee Han-sol’s empty enshrinement box and slit his throat with it left a deep impression on Jung Yi-dam. Lee Han-sol, who usually vanished into the monster’s stomach without leaving even a single hair, occasionally dropped parts of his body. When recovered, these parts of Lee Han-sol would become less than a handful of bone powder in the box. Once, when Ki Baek-woo secretly poured it into his mouth, Jung Yi-dam thought he was truly a romantic overflowing with romance. He was so thrilled that even after starting a new approach, he often dreamed of Ki Baek-woo devouring Lee Han-sol.

“Jung Yi-dam is strong, right?”

At times, Ki Baek-woo would treat Jung Yi-dam like a demon and lash out in anger. He blamed everything on Jung Yi-dam, accusing him of playing some strange trick. Jung Yi-dam didn’t want to attack him by pointing out the fact that “Everything happened because you didn’t love me like Lee Han-sol, so it’s not my fault but yours.” He knew well that love was a blind emotion. After glaring at the kindly silent Jung Yi-dam with eyes dripping with hatred and resentment, Ki Baek-woo soon stormed out of the house recklessly.

He’ll probably die like that. Contrary to Jung Yi-dam’s expectation, Ki Baek-woo came back to him the next day. Unlike yesterday when he couldn’t handle his own intense emotions, he looked listless like a dry straw. As soon as he entered Jung Yi-dam’s lodging, he dropped to his knees without warning. He repeatedly apologized, saying he was sorry.

I’m sorry about yesterday. Please forgive me for getting angry at you, Jung Yi-dam. I wasn’t in my right mind yesterday. Strange memories suddenly came back and I lost my composure for a moment. Please forgive me just this once.

After mumbling incoherently, he held out a familiar ceramic box. Please help my brother. You’re strong, Jung Yi-dam, so please save him just once. He begged.

“But…”

“Jung Yi-dam is the strongest healer in the world, right? You can heal anything. So, it’s something you can do. Only you can do it.”

“Still…”

Bringing an empty urn-like object and asking to save someone, it’s impossible. Jung Yi-dam quietly observed Ki Baek-woo making this absurd request. With only Lee Han-sol’s name engraved on the surface of the ceramic, Ki Baek-woo clutching the empty box looked funny but quite desperate. He seemed to really believe that Jung Yi-dam could actually bring Lee Han-sol back to life. Even though he must know that his abilities are gradually disappearing after the ending… Of course, even if Jung Yi-dam’s powers remained intact, he couldn’t revive the dead.

“Can’t you do it…? I’ll do anything… Can’t you please save my brother…?”

I need to meet him. I didn’t mean to do that to him. I don’t know why it turned out like this. I think I was crazy. I can’t do without him… He said he’d ask the grim reaper to let us be together even after death… But at this rate, I don’t think he will… I tried to die, but what if I can’t meet him even if I die… What should I do? That really can’t happen… Please let me apologize to him just once, please…

As he watched Ki Baek-woo mumbling in a daze, Jung Yi-dam wiped away tears. It wasn’t because he was sad or pitiful, but the kind of tears that naturally well up when a person is overwhelmed. Although Ki Baek-woo still showed no signs of liking Jung Yi-dam, and his outrageous behavior only increased… Anyway, Jung Yi-dam endured those situations as much as possible, to the extent he could.

But when he could no longer count how many times he had approached Ki Baek-woo, and still nothing had changed by then.

‘It’s still okay… It’s fine, but…’

At the final gate, watching Lee Han-sol repeat the same content again this time, Jung Yi-dam’s thoughts suddenly drifted here.

‘But shouldn’t I get some kind of reward by now?’

An impious heart. But harmful things always infiltrate quickly, so the thought unraveled like an old knot coming undone.

‘If I’ve worked this hard, isn’t it time I got at least a candy, if not results? If you told me not to doubt… If you told me to believe, you should take responsibility.’

I can’t remember how many times it’s been. After waiting all this time, shouldn’t I be given a chance to taste what love is like, how brilliant it is that neither Lee Han-sol nor Ki Baek-woo want to change? What’s the point of just dangling something good in front of me? How far are you trying to test me…

You’re an angel… Don’t be cruel like a snake.

Even after Jung Yi-dam began to question the situation, the approaches continued. Of course, nothing changed even by then. One day, he stared into space in front of Ki Baek-woo’s dead body, which was no longer fresh. The large hospital attached to the center, the morgue was cold. Despite the lights being on, it was dim and smelled unpleasant. Jung Yi-dam unwrapped a candy he had picked up from the hospital lobby, put it in his mouth, and thought about what to do next.

I was originally going to quit. I was just about to fully realize that love was like magic in fairy tales, an idealized illusion. If I had overturned all those fantasies that had no substance at all, I might have already been living a post-ending life, making reasonable compromises. I could have lived ordinarily after the story ended, died ordinarily, and then returned to the starting point of the story to briefly enjoy the love created by the system. There would have been no need to anxiously gauge whether this was love or not, whether the other person was sincere or not. What brought me back here when I was about to do that… was all Lee Han-sol.

An irresponsible world that makes him precious but doesn’t care about what happens after the ending. The fact that even though he was the protagonist, he thought he would live a life more special than anyone else, but in reality, he was a being who couldn’t do anything other than move as directed throughout the story. Originally, Jung Yi-dam would have blamed and resented such a world. If he had to hate something more, it would have been his own naivety and stupidity for believing in the reality of something like love. But now the arrow shot from his heart flew elsewhere. The sharp arrowhead pierced Lee Han-sol.

It was only then, when his head had cooled, that Jung Yi-dam saw Lee Han-sol accurately. It was all a misconception, he thought.

He’s neither an angel nor a snake. He’s just one of the components that make up this game, similar to him. Lee Han-sol’s feelings for Ki Baek-woo, which Jung Yi-dam had been certain were divine revelations, are in fact neither sacred nor great.

In fact, they’re probably not even real.

Lee Han-sol was just made to be written that way. A strange appearance that could be seen as both an angel and a snake. His devotion, his kindness, the history he had assembled with Ki Baek-woo. Everything about Lee Han-sol is just a setting to make Jung Yi-dam, an incomparably important component, look more splendid and plausible. He’s designed to play the role of a not-too-threatening obstacle until Jung Yi-dam reaches the ending with Ki Baek-woo, and then exit by becoming food for destruction in place of Jung Yi-dam, a somewhat miserable machine.

Jung Yi-dam bit the lemon-flavored candy between his right molars.

In the end, it’s all

fake.

With a crunch, the candy shattered. If it’s fake, it should break like a fake. Now he had no intention of watching Lee Han-sol alone pretend to be dignified and real. In fact, Lee Han-sol had never pretended to be so, and it was only Jung Yi-dam who had arbitrarily revered him… Anyway. Jung Yi-dam decided to be compensated in that way for the time he had wasted worshipping Lee Han-sol. So…

“So that’s when I first tampered with the system.”

That’s how it all happened. Lee Han-sol blankly stared at Jung Yi-dam, who spoke as if it was nothing.

“For kids like you… who could actually disappear without much problem, the system management is sloppy. If you time it right, you can quickly cause a minor bug in your code.”

“A bug…?”

“That gate where you died a few times.”

Actually, it wasn’t just a few times, but easily dozens of times… but you probably don’t remember that. Jung Yi-dam muttered mockingly, shrugging his shoulders slightly. In the small apartment, the messy kitchen still bore traces of their scuffle from moments ago. Leaning back in a cheap plywood dining chair, he continued.

“When the main story is being replaced with the ending… the system gets a bit stupid in such chaotic situations. It’s busy controlling kids like Ki Baek-woo while data that needs to be aggregated pours in. You take advantage of that moment.”

You briefly access the system and just tweak your code a little. For example, activating the data so you can remember everything like me… That kind of thing.

Jung Yi-dam grinned as if he had already concluded that Lee Han-sol wouldn’t understand his explanation at all. Lee Han-sol couldn’t make any sense of the unfamiliar story that had been flowing in helplessly for a while now. He didn’t even know what he was hearing.

What are you talking about? Something about love, angels, snakes, Ki Baek-woo…

Ki Baek-woo? Lee Han-sol just blinked slowly. His thoughts were mixing up, lagging half a beat behind. Jung Yi-dam, who had been staring directly at Lee Han-sol’s doll-like gaze devoid of any emotion, suddenly straightened his back. He rested his elbows on the table and cupped his cheeks with both hands like a shy child. He spoke, facing Lee Han-sol closely at an angle.

“It’s unfair, isn’t it… that I’m the only one suffering when everything is fake anyway. So I wanted to know how long you could endure if you remembered everything and knew everything like me…”

“……”

“I really didn’t expect it to come this far, Han-sol…”