Harry Potter: The Hidden Wizard

Chapter 3: Voldemort Was Mid, I Can Do Better



Welcome back, mudbloods, to what is supposedly the second entry of my diary—

assuming that idiot of an editor didn't mess something up again.

{Editor here,

I think I should just give up on editing and let you guys see what I'm going through. You know what? I'll rewrite the above sentence exactly as he wrote it in his diary, without any corrections:

"Welocome back mudboobs to my suposingly second enrty of my dairy if that idot of a editore didn't meess upsomthing again."

Now, you understand my pain.}

[Archer shouting again: Sisterfucker! Tell my story and stop ranting about yourself!]

Anyway, my truly powerful brain has already started preparing a plan.

After a lot of thinking, I've made up my mind on what I need to do before joining Hogwarts:

I'm not going anywhere near the Leaky Cauldron or Diagon Alley. Many people may call me stupid, but imagine if Snape came to take me there for introducing the magical fairy-tale world.

That bat of a man would casually mind-fuck me without any remorse. All my carefully crafted plans would go straight down the drain if he even suspected something. So, no chances. If Voldy could become powerful after learning magic at school, then I can do better.

I'm taking Voldemort as my role model. That no-nose man became this powerful even as a half-blood—And that too, from the lazy, inbred, borderline-vegetable Gaunt bloodline.

He was definitely smart and hardworking, just like me. Maybe I should become a Death Eater—now that would make for a truly unique story.

Now, since my almighty role model, Lord Riddle, practiced magic early, I will too. I should try to control objects with magic…And maybe I should start tormenting others.

{Editor shouting: "LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY TORMENT OTHERS NOW?!"}

Yes, definitely. I already have this no-name editor as a guinea pig.

GURAAARRA! [ya, I need to work on villain laugh ]

I should start practicing spells I remember.

Let me recall

Some time later…

Sorry, dear readers, but after spending too much time with this idiot editor, his stupidity seems to be rubbing off on me.

I can only remember Avada Kedavra, Crucio, and Imperio.

No problem, I'll try to recall more later.

I need to master as many languages as possible before Hogwarts.Old English (Anglo-Saxon) [~450–1100 CE]Middle English [~1100–1500 CE]Early Modern English [~1500–1700 CE]Modern English [~1700–Present]Latin, Greek, and French (for extra fancy evil wizard points.)

One of the most important things—BECOME FILTHY RICH.

Like, golden commode rich, So rich that I piss money and shit money. And that too in both the Muggle world and the Wizarding world.

That's too much thinking. I can't burden my baby brain with this much thinking—even if yours truly is a genius.

So, let's go steal some candy from a random-ass kid on the street. I have a reputation to maintain.

Some Time Turner Rotation Ahead (3 years later…)

So, I'm currently 8 years old. Just completed my primary education last month and moving on to Year 7.

As you should have guessed, I'm skipping ahead as much as possible because I don't think I'll be able to attend some muggle school years during my first two years at Hogwarts.

Why?

Because I plan to get familiar with the wizarding world first.

After that, I'll continue my muggle education alongside my Hogwarts education. You readers may ask why you need to study muggle knowledge when you can do magic??

My answer would be you guys are a bloody fucking idiot.

Like hell I'm giving up my identity advantage. It can always be used as a backup plan.

Also, do muggle-borns' brains start to rot at Hogwarts?

Or does the high mana concentration in Hogwarts turn them into idiots?

How do they forget their biggest advantage over purebloods?

(Let's leave the bashing for later—maybe I too will become one of those snot-nosed idiots when I get there.)

Progress So Far

The last three years have been fantastic.

I started with tiny objects like bits of paper. Then moved on to separating rice grains by colour (good for micro-control). Once I could separate them smoothly, I started lifting heavier stuff.

Why? Because according to me magic in Harry Potter isn't about brute strength—it's about finesse.

Currently, I can lift about 1-2 kilos using magic.

Which, if I may say so myself, is pretty damn good.

Because, as far as I remember, Riddle, even under the influence of anger (which amplifies magic), was only able to shake a wardrobe.

But I, the almighty genius, smartest of the smartest, can consciously lift and move a 2-kilo dumbbell. Sure, it takes concentration, but my goal was never raw strength.

Next up—languages.

I said I'd learn them, and obviously, it's going great.

Maybe because I was reborn, or maybe because I was always so brilliantly genius that I grasp everything I read with ease.

Understanding different versions of English? As easy as evaporating my piss.

I'm already fluent in French:

"Ce que vous, les paysans, ne pourrez évidemment pas comprendre."

(Which, of course, you peasants wouldn't understand.)

I've started Greek as well:

"και είναι ήδη σε θέση να δημιουργήσει μια ή δύο προτάσεις."

(Again, too advanced for illiterate simpletons like you.)

This just further proves my absolute genius.

Now, On to the Real Problem—MONEY.

The root cause of all problems.The solution to all problems.The sweet, sweet 'M' word.'

After a lot of thinking, I've figured out the only path available right now:

I'll rewrite famous works from my old world.

And before you open your dirty, mudblood mouths to cry about plagiarism—

It's NOT plagiarism.

It's me helping develop the culture of this world.

For all I know, those writers don't even exist here.And even if they did—well, I'd still do it.

Because who else but me deserves to be the greatest literary mind of this generation?

So, Keeping My Genius Aside for a Moment...

I can only think of one story I could write.

.

.

And that is—THE BIBLE.

Now, before you scream WTF?!, let me explain.

There are two major reasons:

It's the freaking best-selling book of all time. Religion in this world is a complete mess.

Everyone here is borderline atheist. Even Christmas is more of a pagan festival than the birthday of a certain guy. Something about the return and alignment of Saturn instead?

Actually... that makes sense to me.

As a magician, Jesus would just be a normal wizard. I mean, let's be honest—even Dobby could turn water into wine.

But, of course, I can't just publish the Bible.

That goes against my beliefs. And I respect that guy.

And mainly I don't want to start some crazy cult.

So, My Next Best Option—PERCY JACKSON.

Before I tell you more about my plan...Let me introduce you guys to someone special.

{Your Kidnapped Editor Here

Dear readers,

I hope you're all in good health, because I'm not.

I've been surviving on a single peanut every day for the past three years.I think this devil is about to start experimenting on me.

Please, send help.

I hope you've all started collecting money for his Patreon.Because apparently, for every new member, I get an extra peanut that day.

Sincerely,A desperate soul

}


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