I am Peter Parker

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***

- Well, I'm off. - After breakfast, Peter left the house for another film shoot.

- Good luck, take care! - Mystique was once again displaying hyperbole. And it wasn't for nothing. - I'm in trouble!

- Wh-what's wrong? - Sabretooth was rendered speechless by the pale face of the co-terrorist.

- Yesterday I went as Peter on a date with Mary-Jane.

- And you fell in love? - With no sense of atmosphere at all, NEWT went into romance.

- No! But I could barely keep my answers straight without her suspecting anything! And I ended up going so far as to ask her out on a date. - Mystique collapsed in her chair, clutching her face. - How do I tell Peter?

- So what's the problem, you go on a date with her in his character again and that's it?

- And then I'll marry her and have kids? Sabretooth, do you have any idea what you're talking about?

- No. Sabretooth answered her honestly. - I've never been on a date in my life.

Suddenly there was silence and depression. There was more depression, for NEWT continued to finish her little juice through the tube.

- I don't want to interrupt your mood that might lead to a search for myself outside of my home, but... When do I have a date with MJ? - Parker's voice startled everyone abruptly.

- Um... What are you doing here? - He waved the smartphone in his hands, which he returned to pick up. - Tuesday.

- Three dates in four days with four girls..... And I'm the popular guy. - With a chuckle of humility, Peter turned round and walked out of the house for the second time that day, waving at the occupants one last time.

- See, Pyro, this is why different room fresheners are important! - Mystique proudly proclaimed.

- Wasn't it more inappropriate to say that he was the one thanking us for the quiet day we gave him!

- We? But you didn't do anything? - Sabretooth said with a predatory smile.

- Ah-ah, I did... - blushing and crumpling in her chair, said Pyro.

- Like what? - Holding in his hands the keys to the house, Parker for the second time frightened everyone with his presence.

- When are you going to get out of here?! - Piro shrieked at him, blushing even more and then running off to her room in his house.

**Peter**

- So this is how fathers who have to work hard feel..... - With my newfound knowledge, I headed off towards the bus, checking my messages as I went.

Yesterday, Pyro sent me a text in the late afternoon. Apparently while my phone was charging on the table and I was too lazy to get up to check. Given her screaming this morning, what could she have sent me? A death wish? Or a hurtful meme?

- ...Women are scary. - Looking at the nudis with "you can use" on their private parts, that's the only thing that came out of my mouth. Yesterday one thing and today another, and how can you not be afraid of them?

.....

Arriving at the date location, I couldn't keep the sinister smile off my face. While my strategy might not have worked with Brina, time would tell, I wasn't going to fail with Captain America. Her alter ego says it all, what you need to stress to piss her off and fail a date. Anti-patriotism! And who hates their country the most? Young people! That's the way it's always been, that's the way it will always be. And where do you find young people who can't afford the right to not have an opinion on anything? In college!

- Hmmm... - already at the beginning, Stephanie doesn't pay attention to her surroundings, she keeps looking at the flags, the American one weighing in below LGBT.

- Hello, Miss Rogers. - I walked up to her, overwhelmed with happiness.

- Huh? Oh! Hi, no offence, but can you not tapping your fingers ominously? It's a little stressful. - Right, show me that fake smile, it'll be off your face soon enough! Boo-hoo-hoo! - By the way, you picked an unusual place for a date, I usually go to expensive restaurants.

Damn, she's not even trying, but she's so good at ruining our date. Mentioning exes, plus a hint of stinginess on my part, at best. I should learn from her ....

.....

After the meeting, we went to a history class. Which, as everyone knows, is constantly being rewritten, for it's boring to dig through old books, and quite fun to write your own. I found out about the lecturer beforehand, read her courses, and then I had full confidence in my success.

- America was built by the stench of society, thieves, murderers and other rubbish that was exiled to the colonies.... - Stephanie cringed at the introduction, still trying to force a friendly grin out of her. I feel pretty good, partly because I'm on the right track to success, partly amused by the knowledge that the lecturer is an American immigrant.

.....

- ...Aside from a silly belief in god, Americans had no values, so slavery is not surprising. America is documented as the first country in history to engage in the slave trade. Trust me, I'm a historian.

For now Stephanie stopped pressing her smile and instead began to grit her teeth nervously. I myself became uncomfortable, firstly bored, secondly sad at how many people nodded to the lecturer's ramblings.

.....

- And in WW2, we weren't heroes at all. No, we waited until the winner was decided before we chose sides. Then we went on to destroy Japan, rape its men and ravage the land.

- Well, we certainly weren't heroes. - but I wouldn't say that about the American soldiers who gave their lives for a just cause.

- Can I say something? - while I was gritting my teeth, Stephanie went on the offensive, raising her hand.

- Okay, student, any questions?

- No questions, though I can rephrase my statement into a question if you'd prefer. Where are you getting all these lies from? - I think someone's getting a little worked up. - We fought to defeat the enemy, the ultimate evil as much as possible for mankind, we went to the front because we feared for our families and because we wanted to help the countries being tormented by the enemy.

- Um, lady, I don't know who you think you are, but I'm a historian, I know better. - narrowing her lips in a nasty manner, the lecturer tapped her heel and smiled.

- And I'm a war veteran! - after these words the audience started whispering, she was quickly recognised and eventually asked to come on stage.

.....

- France was the first country I had ever been to....

Stephanie really blossomed on stage. She talked about her friends, her commanders, with great warmth. She recalled the experiences she had before the battles, how other soldiers became a support for each other, building close relationships unlike any other.

- The tremendous sacrifice of the Soviet Army was inestimable....

When the lecturer tried to shift the subject to who did more, who suffered more, Stephanie kept her cool and simply acknowledged the contribution of other armies, and if she had something to say from personal experience, she praised them with equal fervour.

When the lecturer tried to load Stephanie with politics, horror stories or blame games, only then would she shut up for a few seconds, collect her thoughts and answer in the same way:

- War is a monstrous thing, it changes people in the most unimaginable ways. Some turn into heroes, others into monsters. For some it opens up humanity, for others it replaces people with numbers on paper. It makes you realise the cost of mistakes, makes you make drastic decisions. I can't answer for everyone, I'm sorry, I can only speak for the dozens that I knew personally, I knew that they were driven by the desire for justice.

At the end, the audience clapped loudly, some even started shouting. I also clapped, for it is really interesting to listen to a person who tells with soul.

.....

During the next two hours a crowd gathered around Stephanie, asking for photos and autographs. I managed to snuggle down, taking advantage of the unprecedented comfort of the student benches.

- Haa! - with a weary sigh, Captain America collapsed next to me. - Well that was an interesting experience...

- Hmm? - still not fully awake, I mumbled. Seriously, what are these benches made of? Why do I have to sleep on them? Is this some kind of conspiracy against the student body?!

- I wonder if they'd listen to me if I wasn't Captain America? I'm sure if I wasn't a super famous heroine. Haa.

- I don't know if the response would have been as massive, but I think everyone would have loved it. I know I would. - It's unpleasant when the person who gave you pleasant emotions starts to doubt himself and his work. It's my job to ruin a date, but I'm human.

- How sweet, trying to cheer me up? - She quirked an eyebrow upwards with a smile, hardly putting anything serious into what she said.

- I guess, though I do find it interesting to learn more about how things used to be...

.....

We spent another three hours talking about the past. Mostly she talked and I just listened, only occasionally asking questions. She talked about her time with warm nostalgia, saying that in her time people were more open, not in the sense of what was going on in the bedroom or what shows they were into, but more in the context of personal experiences. Now it seems like people talk about it a lot more, but the difference was contemplating your own experiences, the suffering in other people's lives. Back then, social media didn't exist with fake highlites of everyday life presented, so people didn't see the point in unnecessary words or complaining, they saw others going through similar experiences and couldn't help but understand them. Simple logic chain.

- Men used to take about three girls as wives. Usually it was a sister, a friend and a favourite girl. Sisters were taken to take care of them, girlfriends out of friendship and to allow them to give birth, and the favourite girl because of love. At that time, they understood what love was. Nowadays it's all about sex and escaping from loneliness. But what kind of love is love in a world where everyone thinks it's right to spread their legs if a bloke looks in her direction?

- Well, I guess they just want to be happy. - decided to stand up for the girls of their generation. - They may want children, they may actually think that fulfilling their whims will earn them love.....

- How can you love someone without a personality? A slave to your desires. - with her position already formed, she asked the question in a rhetorical manner.

- You can't. - and I was in agreement with her position, however.... - But what else can they do? They want love, they think it can magically fill their grey everyday life with colour. But few girls are born into rich families, with a carload of talent and/or opportunities, and even aspirations in life are not so easy to find, behind a screen of empty desires and dreams, so they have nothing to offer men for love.

I had a similar situation in my past world, only not so extreme, and the dynamics were mostly reversed.

- So you don't have to offer anything for love!

- When you have nothing, that's the hardest thing to understand. That's why creators have such big egos, they finally have something, that's why they hold on to it so militantly.

- Maybe. I guess in my time none of us had anything, that's why we didn't see the need to pay for love. - Stephanie commented sadly.

- I feel sorry for your generation, deprived of the opportunity to live and instead pushed into the race for success.

- Why pity us? That's the fate of man, to go through the battle. You had to overcome the great depression and real wars, and we have to deal with social expectations and economic ditches. If you ask me, we're the lucky ones.

- Oh, yeah?

Ending a date with a depressing conversation, what could be better, huh? I guess I've finally learnt how to blow a date, huh? I'm gonna be a pro at this soon!

**The next day. Avengers headquarters. Theresa.

- More! - I nervously yelled at Tora to add more weight to the barbell.

I try to keep myself in shape, but I only lift weights on rare occasions. In cases when I'm nervous my hair almost starts to fall out of my head!

There are two reasons for my neurosis, and they have names. Breena and Stephanie! We haven't seen each other in four days, so I haven't been able to ask them how it went with Peter. I tried to find out via messenger but their answers were incomprehensible, they kept going round and round, especially Breena.

- Oh Stephanie, are you in a good mood? - While Tora left me to insure me and went to say hello to the patriot girl, I....

- Ghaaaaah! - I realised with my hundred-pound chest that the barbell wasn't for me.

- Really? It's probably a good thing. - Stephanie casually tossed to me on her way to the locker room.

- Why is that? - Tora shouted after her as I seemed to start losing the size of my babies squeezing inside.

- It was a good date. - WHAT? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the first time, in five years, that she's said that! I knew Peter was a different level of player!!!

Whilst I'm glad my theory is getting more and more confirmation, why is there such a tightness in my chest...?

- Ghaaaaah! - Oh, shit, I forgot the fucking barbell.

- Hey, speaking of your date, I'm taking Parker next week if he's not out, anyone mind? - No, Natasha, I don't mind!

- No, you're not.

- Mm-hmm.

- Okay.

Claudia, Tora, Stephanie, you're traitors!

- Ugghhhh! - hey, I'm gonna die so soon, help me, you traitors!