I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

68 – Fair and Square My Ass (1)

The enemy who murdered my parents, the one I’ve searched for my entire life, is standing right before my eyes.

The knight in jet-black armor I saw in Bellamora’s illusory dream. And superimposed on him, the image of that being ruthlessly trampling on everything precious to me.

“Durahan…”

I grit my teeth against the rising rage, glaring at him.

My heart pounded, screaming to tear off his head right this instant, but conversely, the reason inside my head became more chilling than ever.

The hair on my whole body stood on end, a tingling sensation climbing my spine – a keen, cutting bloodlust.

I had the gut feeling that the moment I let my guard down, or moved rashly, the comrades here might die.

“Welcome to my territory, Astal Kaisaros. Or should I call you the Harmless Mage now?”

Durahan looked at me, as if lost in thought for a moment, then readily extended a hand, offering a handshake.

Looking at Durahan’s hand, I had the illusion that it was stained with blood. Even though there was clearly nothing unusual about the jet-black gauntlet.

Just like I’d seen ten years ago, it felt like the sickening stench of blood and the flesh and blood of the people dear to me were clinging to it, and I could only glare at him, wanting to kill him.

“…It’s not as if we’re meeting for the first time. Now that you’ve become strong enough to come here, I don’t think there’s any reason to refuse a handshake, is there?”

“Cut the crap. Don’t pretend to be some noble warrior. You’re just a pawn of the Demon King in the end.”

Durahan, as if he didn’t understand me, amplified the blue flames flickering above his neck, and I spat out bitter words as I watched him.

If Durahan were truly concerned with warriors and valuing pride, he wouldn’t be creating traps like this, using innocent people as hostages.

And in the first place, he wouldn’t have murdered my hometown folk who couldn’t even resist. What kind of warrior violates the weak who can’t even properly hold weapons?

Even thinking about the beastkin race, who worship the god of war and survival, the Beast God Fenris, that kind of thing didn’t fit the word “warrior.”

“Hahaha! Quite the composure you’ve got there. I certainly thought you’d either fly into a rage, tearing at me to avenge your parents, or beg on your knees, crying for me to spare just you…”

Then, a loud burst of laughter came from the head Durahan was holding. It was possible because his head and body could move independently like this.

“…I’ve got a chance to smash your skull in myself, so why the hell would I do that?”

I let out a hollow, almost disbelieving laugh towards the helmeted head.

Unlike my powerless childhood, I now possessed magical prowess, and companions stood by me.

“I like that nerve. Seems I did well to spare you, ignoring the Dark Lord’s orders.”

The Dullahan gripped his horse’s reins tightly, slowly approaching me, then launched into a past incident with an excited voice.

He’d brutally murdered everyone in my hometown, even making sure there were no survivors.

He was now blabbing the answer to the question of why he let me escape the village.

“…So, it was the Dark Lord’s doing, after all.”

“Indeed. They said a hero who could kill the Dark Lord would emerge from the backwater village of Mabilos, so I went to kill him, but I found you, quite an interesting one.”

The Dullahan chuckled as he said that. Shaking like he couldn’t contain his laughter, he was mocking me.

In the end, Victoria’s sleepless nights of worry had been correct. A being who could threaten the Dark Lord’s life was born, and they tried to eliminate the seed beforehand, that was her hypothesis.

“Well, thanks to that incident back then, you became such a powerful mage and came looking for me. You even killed Bellamora, one of the Four Heavenly Kings.”

“……”

I didn’t want to talk anymore. The Dullahan’s thoughts and reasoning were twisted beyond recognition. It’s said that demons and monsters live in ways humans can’t comprehend, but still.

“…Disgusting. Is that all you have to say?”

Seeing the Dullahan not feeling even a shred of guilt or sorrow for the humans he had murdered, a desire surged within me to crush that face right then and there.

“No. A new challenger has appeared, so we must proceed with the arena as scheduled. Your other companions can show their faces in our territory without suffering any harm.”

Then, the Dullahan raised his hand high into the air, gesturing for the hordes of monsters and demons surrounding us to step back.

Rattling, rustling sounds of ropes being cut echoed here and there, and I could see people being freed from their imprisonment in the crowd.

“You think I’ll believe that?”

“…A promise is a promise. I’m confident that I would pay any amount if it meant that I could fight you.”

The Dullahan, like he was doing me some grand favor, bobbed his head up and down, but I saw through the sickening hypocrisy in an instant.

If I lost after all this, the b*stard would butcher not only the hostages, but my precious comrades too, saying they were no longer needed.

“Looks like I was right to keep you alive.”

“…….”

Watching the Dullahan spread his arms wide, looking utterly satisfied with me, a wave of nausea rolled through my gut.

“Hear ye, hear ye, everyone here! A new challenger has appeared in the arena! Known by the moniker ‘Harmless Mage,’ it’s the mage from the hero party, Astal Kaisaros!”

“Waaah─!”

The Dullahan raised his voice, announcing my participation in the arena to the surrounding crowd, and a sea of people erupted in a roar of enthusiastic cheers.

Demons and monsters, their faces and hands smeared with blood like they’d just been in a brawl, bodies covered in scars, were smiling more gleefully than anyone else.

“…Yeah, this is definitely a madhouse.”

The fact that all demons and monsters needed to be exterminated flashed through my mind with renewed force.

* * *

“I can’t help but think that was far too reckless, Kyle.”

The day before the Dullahan’s arena was set to open, after settling the ruckus, we slipped into a tavern, hiding our identities, to talk.

The Dullahan told us we could drop the perception-blocking magic, but there was no way I’d trust a demon that easily.

“What?”

“The way the Dullahan anticipated what I wanted and manipulated my actions. What if I hadn’t caught on?”

I took a long-overdue sip of alcohol as I spoke. The mere thought of it still made my hands shake uncontrollably, so I’d barely managed to get Victoria’s permission.

If Kyle hadn’t made the first move, there was a real chance someone here would have their life stolen by the Dullahan in the worst-case scenario.

“…Isn’t trusting that kind of thing what being comrades is about? Besides, you’re quick on the uptake, except when it comes to romance.”

“……”

Kyle chuckled awkwardly as we clinked glasses. Victoria, next to me, nodded vigorously, showing her agreement.

“Even so, I’m not entirely happy with the current arrangement. What if Astal-nim loses in the arena, ends up dying in a fight?”

Victoria glared at Kyle as she spoke. Her gaze was so cold and sharp, you wouldn’t think she was a saintess.

Like a snake, enraged at having its things touched, baring its fangs and ready to spit venom, she showed a strength that didn’t yield even to the hero.

“If that were to happen, I would stop eating and drinking, spending my entire life longing for one man, before taking my own life.”

– It’s not a joke. Do you even know how much I cried and grieved when you collapsed last time? You bad man…

Victoria hooked her arm through mine, rubbing her chest hard against my arm. She seemed dissatisfied that I chose drinking over physical contact with her to calm down.

“At least I won’t die before I avenge them, Victoria.”

I expressed my will towards Victoria. My parents’ enemies were right in front of me; I couldn’t just die carelessly.

“I don’t believe such empty promises. If you want to reassure me, show me through actions, Astal-nim.”

“Actions, as in….”

“Leave a seed and bring about conception, to widely proliferate your descendants. Even if it means I am no longer a saintess.”

“……”

She carefully stroked her lower abdomen. At the same time, Victoria’s inner thoughts, so lewd and base, flooded my mind, and I forced myself to block them out.

“Wouldn’t that be more reassuring? No matter who you are, if you have children, paternal love will bloom, and you’ll cherish your life.”

“…I don’t know about that. We haven’t even caught the Demon King yet.”

“We are proposing to postpone it. Wouldn’t it be safer for the children born between you and me to grow into adults, and *then* kill the Demon King?”

Victoria looked up at me, speaking from below. Her eyes were red, as if she would burst into tears at any moment, and a hint of sadness resonated from her slightly choked voice.

“Besides, I don’t want to pass on something I can’t do myself to my children. If we can end it in our generation, we should do our best.”

I was trying to reassure Victoria, stroking her hair, attempting to persuade her in the calmest voice possible.

“No matter how I think about it, shouldn’t you two just get married and live happily in the countryside? I’ll take care of the Demon King…”

Kyle, watching us, drained his glass with an envious sigh. His longing for a lover, unlike the rest of us, was reflected in his eyes.

“…Absolutely not.”

“That won’t do. After all, only by killing the Demon King will Astal be able to avenge his enemies and spend the rest of his life happily with me, right?”

I found it rather terrifying that Victoria wasn’t choosing to kidnap me immediately to the countryside, but instead planning for the distant future.

“Now that I know you are considering having a child with me, I also want to follow the opinion of my future husband.”

The more I thought about it, the more Victoria’s love seemed to be a far greater emotion than I had imagined.