I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

70 – Fair and Square My Ass (3)

Victoria was trying to break the orb containing my will with a hammer, and even praying to the celestial gods, trying to find out what was inside.

The Saintess of Flowers, considered to be the most benevolent and devout person in the world, was showing such an obsessive side to a man.

“Why did you have to… make magic so damn difficult?!”

Victoria glared at me accusingly, biting her lip. Fatigue was already etched onto her face, making it painfully obvious how much she was struggling.

“Sorry, but that’s just how it is with magic a mage creates from scratch. Aside from the caster, it’s hard to figure out the structure or weaknesses…”

I felt a pang of guilt towards Victoria.

Originally, I made it this strong in case a demon or monster killed me and stole the will magic, disguising themselves.

“…So you’re saying I just need to get a hold of your weakness. Take your pants off, right now.”

“Why the hell would that—!”

“You’re being slow. Could it be you have some vulgar fetish for women undressing you? Fine. I’ll assist.”

But this very statement seemed to provoke Victoria, because she immediately grabbed the waistband of my pants and began pulling them down with both hands.

Thanks to her dragon-hybrid strength, and watching my pants slowly descend, I had a gut feeling that I was about to lose something precious as a man.

“Hey, my pants are coming off! Wait! Just wait a—!”

“I refuse. Do you even know how much I agonized over this, how heartfelt my confession was?! You’re cowardly even at times like these!”

I shouted at Victoria to please stop, but she paid no attention, continuing to pull my pants down.

“If what’s contained in here is truly the answer to my confession, then you didn’t have to reject me so coldly and heartlessly…!”

Victoria abandoned the formal language she usually used, her voice filled with emotional appeal.

Her face wasn’t flushed with excitement or lust as she pulled down my pants, but with the effort of holding back tears, her lips pressed tightly together.

“In the end, this is practically the same as saying you’re going to die…!”

Victoria, seeing my uncharacteristic attitude, was starting to suspect the situation was more serious than she thought. What kind of crazy person leaves a will for the man she loves to read when he’s about to die?

“Look, I left this as collateral, promising I’d come back alive. Victoria, calm down, stop crying.”

“No. Do you even remember how many times you’ve almost died? Do you have any idea how much I worried each and every time?”

“……”

Actually, it wasn’t strange that Victoria worried like this.

I’d always used magic while risking my life, and the aftermath always fell on my comrades, or her.

Even if I only used potions or basic healing magic, she couldn’t feel at ease watching me fight, pushing my body to its limits.

“Rather than being tormented with false hope like this, I’d rather…right now, I want to give up being a Saintess and just be an ordinary woman.”

– Because if you were to die, whatever kind of answer is contained within this wouldn’t matter at all.

Victoria was shedding tears, staring at me with sad eyes as she cried. Even though her current posture and actions were quite scandalous.

“You can resent me. You can call me a cowardly woman. Even if it’s disobeying the words of the Celestial Gods, I don’t want you to die.”

“……”

“Every hero party before us has been wiped out, so you prepared for a possible situation like this, right? Am I right…?”

In the end, Victoria came up with her own scheme. Because she knew why I left behind this last will magic.

Ultimately, we are pawns chosen by the Emperor or the Gods, pathetic soldiers who can be discarded at any time.

Because summoning hero parties like us every time, sending us to infiltrate the Demon Realm and fight, naturally slows down or reduces the movement to invade the continent.

For this reason, I thought that on this journey, if someone had to die, it should definitely be me.

“Yeah, I knew that too, so I prepared a last will in advance. It’s always better to be as thorough as possible when it comes to life.”

I created this magic so that I wouldn’t leave behind any regrets or lingering feelings for the people, comrades, or my teacher after I die.

“That’s just…such a sad thing.”

“But you know it too. The probability of us defeating the Demon King and returning alive is extremely low.”

I lifted Victoria up, slowly wiping away her tears as I spoke. The reason I couldn’t properly accept her confession was also because of this.

In the end, even if we were to truly date and share love, I think there’s always a case where someone will die.

The demon lord Ergothum, the one we have to face, is, according to various texts and records, a shapeless being capable of manipulating reality at will with its many arms.

Against such a demon lord, no one, ever, had managed to inflict a wound, or even drive it to the brink of death.

So, hoping things would work out as they were now felt… difficult.

“…The fact we even succeeded in subduing Bellamora, wasn’t that just luck?”

I said, looking down at the various types of flower petals still clinging to my body. If not for the whim of a celestial being, one of us could have already died.

“I want to make sure you all get back home safe, even if it costs me my life. If I try my hardest, I think I can manage at least that much good fortune.”

I recalled the conversations we’d had during our drinking sessions.

Kyle had said that once we’d defeated the demon lord, he’d go back home and marry his girlfriend, Stella.

Anima and Tarion had the goal of building a small school in their names and becoming teachers to children marginalized by society.

Lastly, Victoria had talked about wanting to see the ocean.

“…At the very least, I want to save you guys.”

I showed my resolve by giving Victoria a small kiss on the forehead.

Even though we weren’t actually dating, and she was just playing the part of a fake lover.

“……!”

“If I do this, you’ll believe me, right?”

Right now, I hoped Victoria wouldn’t cry. I actually wanted her to smile bravely and tell me to make sure I came back victorious.

“…Just one more time, or maybe two, and I might be a little less angry.”

– Coward. If you’re going to kiss me, kiss me on the cheek, or what’s wrong with the lips? Seeing you act like this makes me think it’s okay to expect a little something, doesn’t it?

In the end, unable to overcome Victoria’s stubbornness, I ended up giving her at least five more embarrassing kisses. Only then did she finally smile brightly at me, and release the arm she had been holding onto.

* * *

After that whole commotion with Victoria, I could finally drag myself toward the center of the Forsaken Hollow – the arena.

A place where the roar of the crowd and the pounding of drums deafened you. A place where fights so brutal, it was hard to watch.

I saw an Orc Barbarian, one arm severed, bone exposed, still gripping his axe and swinging,

and a monstrous creature trying to tear him apart, its massive maw ripping wide.

“We are warriors! Warriors who know no death! Fight and kill! The weak are not worthy to live! Prove your worth!”

The various demons and monsters watching the match shouted the same mantra, echoing the words I’d just heard.

They worship the strong, despise the weak.

The creed of this territory’s lord, the Dullahan, perfectly reflected. He’d even disobeyed the Demon Lord’s orders to spare me, all because I was supposedly stronger than the rest.

KRAKOOM─!

With a swing of his war axe, bigger than himself, the Orc Barbarian reduced the monster before him to finely chopped chunks of meat, a scene burned into my eyes.

‘Flawless, utterly calculated movements.’

He severed the limbs and tendons around the ankles first to immobilize the opponent, then split the skull to eliminate all variables.

It happened so fast, only someone with special eyes like mine, or someone who’d survived countless battlefields, could possibly perceive it.

‘…Can I even beat someone like that?’

I wondered, watching the Orc Barbarian raise his arm and roar to the crowd watching him, celebrating his victory according to the arena’s rules.

Mages inherently have a weakness to close combat, a chronic issue I’d tried to compensate for by learning hand-to-hand fighting and using weapons like the Core Sword to close the gap.

But in battle, what separates life and death is a razor-sharp instinct and split-second decisions.

‘I might get lucky once or twice, but after that, I could really die.’

That thought settled firmly in my mind. If I wanted the contents of my will given to Victoria to remain hidden, it was time to change my fighting style.

Just in case, I watched a few other warrior matches, but the Orc Barbarian’s fighting style was especially striking.

“Hey, think you could be my sparring partner?”

“…You? A measly human? What could you possibly do with that scrawny body?”

After thinking it over for a long time, I followed the orc, bought what looked like the most expensive bottle of liquor in the shop, and spoke to him.

Of course, I’d considered the possibility of being rejected like this. Even though I’m fairly muscular, I’d look pathetically weak by orc standards.

“If you got a problem with it, why don’t you fight me and find out?”

So I went with a method to provoke him, striking at his pride, something a man can’t refuse, what you might call a ‘chicken?’ challenge.