I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

78 – The Deathless Arena Fight (1)

So dawned a new morning in Forsaken Hollow, and I was again making my way to Durahan’s arena.

The heat of battle and the roar of the crowd, echoing from afar, were still something I couldn’t quite get used to.

The sight of the participants fighting day and night, thanks to the land’s undead properties, felt so alien, no matter how many times I saw it.

Lives fighting even when denied death, and a crowd treating it all as mere entertainment, it felt like hell itself.

“…I wish I could fight with you.”

Kyle spoke, seeing me heading for the arena’s waiting room.

In the Hero’s position, with a Four Heavenly King’s head practically within reach, sending his comrade alone seemed to displease him.

“Yeah, if you helped, we could kill Durahan in no time.”

I countered, kicking useless pebbles with the tip of my shoe, his behaviour so unlike Kyle that I had to say something.

“…Really? You actually think so?”

“Of course I’m kidding. We struggled so much to catch Bellamora, how could we easily catch someone even worse?”

“No, it might be possible. If we could sink Durahan’s helmet in the ocean, or bury it in the ground….”

Immediately, Kyle’s face lit up and he spoke playfully. The fact that he, like Durahan, was a Hero chosen by the main god, was something I couldn’t understand.

Thinking of the b*stard who took innocent humans hostage to force participation in the arena, and cunningly schemed to set this whole thing up, I gritted my teeth.

“I don’t like it. It means Astar is going to have to sacrifice himself again. He was on the verge of death just a few days ago….”

Anima looked worried, seeing the flowers still on my body. Being Victoria’s close friend, she knew how painful and agonizing these flowers were.

“If things went wrong, we could have ended up fighting each other. It’s unfortunate, but this is the best option.”

“Even so, we’re the Hero party, Tarion. We’re comrades who live and die together…!”

Anima and Tarion had differing opinions about me going to the arena alone.

And really, Anima wasn’t wrong.

We’d crossed life and death together for a year, and along the way, we learned that surviving together was better than surviving by sacrificing someone.

The reason I, a former suicide hopeful, slightly changed my thinking after joining the hero’s party was because of this.

“More than anything, I believe in Astal. He saved us even in battlefields surrounded by countless demons and monsters, and he even achieved the feat of inflicting a fatal wound on Belamora, one of the Four Heavenly Kings.”

Tarion was continuing his story, barely calming his lover.

He said that even if unfortunate infighting occurred, he would have stopped anyone else besides me from going into the arena.

“Right now, the person with the highest probability of killing the Demon King is, objectively, Astal. Don’t you all agree?”

Tarion was making that shocking statement without a hint of hesitation.

He wasn’t seeing me as the hero chosen by God, but as the hero with a high chance of subduing the Demon King.

“What…?”

I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t speak for a moment.

The fact that this party, gathered around the kindest and most trustworthy hero, Kyle, now trusted me instead of him, was astounding.

“…I agree too. I don’t even understand why the chief god Odin didn’t designate Astal as the hero.”

Hero Kyle patted my shoulder, expressing his agreement with Tarion’s opinion. Looking at his expression, it didn’t feel like a lie.

“That’s true… But, we can’t just have Astal solving everything and moving on every time. Besides, if this guy dies, Victoria apparently said she’d refuse to eat or drink and die with him…”

Anima said in a barely audible voice.

She, being close friends with Victoria, seemed to be hearing about my contract relationship from someone in between.

“Victoria…?”

“Is there any problem?”

Victoria, who had been praying for victory in the battle until just a moment ago, slowly opened her eyes in response to my call.

It was strange that she was so quiet, when in the past, whenever praise like this came out about me, she would curse and tell me to know my place.

“I told you I’m not going to die, how many times do I have to say it?”

“It’s embarrassing, but if I think you’re going to disappear… the despair I feel is like the world collapsing, that’s the kind of woman I am.”

Victoria unlocked her clasped hands, wrapping her arms around my waist and whispering into my ear.

Her ticklish voice and soft touch almost made me lose my composure, but I clenched my teeth and barely held on. I was about to go avenge my parents, I couldn’t show such a pathetic side of myself.

“…I feel a little more stable now.”

Victoria buried her face in my chest, taking a few deep breaths of my scent, then looked up at me with a relaxed expression.

“Victoria, you’re not saying anything about Astal going to the arena? A few days ago, you were almost crying, telling me how worried you were…”

Anima watched Victoria and me, speaking as if something was off. No matter how she looked at it, it was too calm of an attitude for a lover who knew their partner was being driven to a death trap.

She wouldn’t say such things if she knew how much Victoria worried and obsessed over me.

“The man I love is an altruistic person who wants everyone to be happy, rather than only himself to survive.”

– Of course I’m worried. If he really dies, I might even make a contract with an evil god to resurrect his corpse.

“…….”

Watching Victoria lie without batting an eye, I kept silent.

Even so, the idea of a saintess, chosen by a celestial god, borrowing the power of the evil god Serena to save me was chilling.

I had felt a little strange about Victoria since last night, so I took a step back from her, creating some distance.

“…? Don’t move away.”

Seeing that, Victoria puffed out her cheeks slightly and took a big step towards me.

One step away, then one step closer.

Watching that scene, I couldn’t help but feel like it was similar to our relationship.

Even though we were bound by a contract relationship, and I couldn’t properly confess my true feelings because of the mission to subjugate the Demon King.

“You can win this spectacularly, right? I’m looking forward to a gift from you later.”

“…A gift?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

Victoria was looking at my clueless expression, a faint curve appearing on her lips. I’d definitely braced myself for her to bring up baby seeds, or asking me to get her pregnant.

– A real answer to my confession, I mean.

Now, Victoria’s true feelings didn’t seem to desire anything so base. After the drinking party and the will incident, her anxiety and suspicion towards me seemed to have lessened considerably.

“You said we’d finish the revenge and go greet your parents.”

“…Ah, right, I did.”

Victoria lightly superimposed her mark on my lips, smiling. It felt less like a sticky kiss fueled by desire, and more like a blessed kiss wishing me victory.

There wasn’t even a chance to ask, *When did this happen?*

My colleagues couldn’t find out we were in a contract relationship.

“…If you defeat the Dullahan, then you too can finally cast off your guilt and spend happy days with me. Whispering sweet nothings to each other, bickering over who loved who more.”

“…Yeah. I’ll win, no matter what.”

“I believe in you. I’ll cheer you on like crazy, so make sure you see it, okay?”

Victoria patted my head like a dog, showing me the path forward. My hair got all messed up, and I smiled and accepted her affection.

“Stop it, I really have to go now.”

“Do well, my love.”

The moment I turned my back, I heard her inner thoughts.

– If we actually start dating, let’s get rid of the flowers while doing naughty things to each other. You never know, right? Maybe later, you’ll even let me keep working as a Saint even if I get pregnant.

“……”

Hearing Victoria’s inner thoughts, I paused for a moment, but didn’t look back, just kept walking forward in silence.

Wanting to become family with the person you love, wanting to have a child that looks just like them – that’s a common thought, something most normal people would want.

Even if Victoria’s inner self was shy, different from her outward appearance, and possessed some truly base qualities.

Victoria mustered the courage to confess her true feelings for me, and I, lacking the confidence that I could save her on this journey, ended up lying.

‘Now it’s my turn to respond to Victoria’s inner feelings.’

I steeled myself with that resolve and headed towards the arena where the Dullahan waited.

* * *

“Everyone, welcome—!! Forsaken Hollow, Arena Tournament number 4,321! This time, it’s Lan on commentary!”

Not long after Astal entered the arena, a woman with the lower body of a fish and bird wings on her back shouted, heating up the arena’s atmosphere.

“Today, we have a special guest! None other than the infamous legend, said to bring death wherever he goes!”

The woman, resembling a Siren from mythology, introduced herself as Lan and raised her voice towards the audience.

“Give him a warm welcome, with both applause and jeers! The magician of the despicable hero party! The living nightmare of monsters and demons! The Mad Mage! Astal Kaisaros!”

With Lan’s introduction, Astal, wearing a blue robe, appeared in the arena, and a barrage of jeers and mockery poured down upon him.

But amongst them, there was one person.

Victoria Aberhart clenched her seat tightly, suppressing the urge to destroy the arena right then and there.

“I don’t like that introduction. Some whore, I don’t even know where she crawled out from, dares to speak so freely of my love.”

“……”

Faced with language unbelievable coming from a saintess, her companions remained silent, careful not to upset Victoria.