I Can Hear the Saint’s Inner Thoughts

77 – Please Always Prioritize Me (2)

Victoria Everhart was a far more cunning woman than I thought.

Completely opposite to her position as a saintess and the image she’d built, a woman who only thinks about ambushing me at any moment and making it a done deal.

“I don’t think it’s right to drink with friends when you have such a cute Victoria by your side…. You know I get lonely easily….”

Victoria was deliberately acting drunk, trying to be cute and charming, trying to exploit the weaknesses in my heart.

“You weren’t originally like this. Where did the Victoria who was usually so cold-blooded and devout go?”

I was trying to help Victoria come to her senses, using cold ice magic on the back of her neck.

“Huh? What are you even talking about? There’s only the cutest Victoria in the whole world here…”

Unlike when we first started our contract relationship, Victoria wasn’t breaking her act, plastering on a thick face and pretending to be drunk.

Victoria wasn’t even ashamed to refer to herself in the third person, and she wasn’t stopping her attempts to be cute with me, whether there were people around or not.

“Ughaha! How much must you have made your lover insecure, that she’s acting like this after just a few drinks!”

Glaktar was sipping his alcohol, using our unsightly display as an appetizer. A pleasant smile spread across his face.

Right now, I was using perception-blocking magic to protect Victoria and me, so the other participants in the bar wouldn’t be able to see us, but,

“It’s a long story, but yeah, it’s my fault.”

“Yessir! It’s your fault! How can I love you so much… and you not accept it…!”

Because Victoria kept planting kisses on my neck, cheek, shoulder, and collarbone like she owned me, I honestly just wanted to crawl into a mouse hole and hide.

“You won’t accept my confession either…! You won’t keep your promises about no drinking or smoking…! You don’t even hold me warmly at night…. Mph, uuph!”

“…Sorry for the commotion.”

It felt like Victoria was losing her grip on sanity and going wild, so I had no choice but to cover her mouth with my hand and break out in a cold sweat.

“It can happen. When I first started dating, I was just as awkward as you. But don’t forget that it’s rare to find someone who genuinely likes you for who you are.”

“That’s right! You’re speakin’ the truth! This person needs to treasure me more! Where else are you gonna find a saint as kind as me!”

Victoria was using her strength to override my attempt to cover her mouth, saying what she wanted to say.

Originally, we were supposed to keep our contract relationship a secret from our colleagues, so she had no one to vent all the emotions she’d been holding back like this.

“You used to swear at me like crazy and call me a pervert…”

“That was then! This is now! And it’s not like it was wrong anyway! Not even a eunuch, and still…”

Victoria shouted while reaching under the table to fondle my thigh. Touching me in places so improper you’d never think she was a saint.

“Besides, I was living on borrowed time back then! I wanted to erase my feelings for you, but I couldn’t, so I just kept griping!”

Victoria, emboldened by the alcohol (though she wasn’t actually drunk), clung to me, desperately seeking affection.

“Do you hate me? Astal?”

“I don’t… hate you…”

“Then why won’t you accept my feelings! Victoria is very angry right now…! I’ll pout if you don’t give me a kiss on the cheek!”

Victoria puffed out her cheeks and hugged me tightly. Her soft skin kept brushing against me, making it hard to know where to look.

– It’s a little embarrassing, but… I have no choice if I want to seduce Astal! Yeah, this is all your fault!

Hearing Victoria’s inner thoughts, I could constantly hear her embarrassed voice. She’d even temporarily abandoned her pride and the dignity of a saintess, now just throwing her true feelings at me.

“I think this is where a third wheel like me should bow out!”

Grak塔尔, watching the scene, chuckled heartily as he cleared his things and stood up. He even meticulously paid the bartender beforehand.

“Wait, wait a minute, what about all this food and alcohol we ordered!”

“You and that girl can eat it all! See you in the arena tomorrow!”

Without looking back, Grak塔尔 waved his hand and left the bar, giving me a thumbs up. I knew it meant he wanted me to do well, but I didn’t expect him to bail out of the game like this.

“…So, it’s just the two of us now? Astal, my lord.”

*gulp*.

Watching Victoria’s Adam’s apple bob greatly like a predator with a delicious meal in front of it, I couldn’t help but shudder.

* * *

As the glasses emptied one by one, and the stifling intoxication and heat swelled in the space, we talked, momentarily forgetting the fact that there were enemy demons and monsters outside.

“So─, the problem is that you’re too cowardly, Astal. Who knows, maybe we’re the first ones who can kill the Demon Lord and bring peace to the world!”

“So many hero parties have tried to kill the Demon Lord. But no one survived.”

Conflicting opinions and emotions clashed.

Victoria couldn’t understand me, and I couldn’t understand her either.

“You’re saying that guy Dullaham survived! I feel like if I could just be with you, I wouldn’t even care if the world was destroyed.”

“Are you saying that seriously? You, the Saintess of the Heavenly God Lumina, how can you say something like that…”

I couldn’t hide my shock at Victoria’s words. I never knew the Saintess, a hero chosen by God, would think that the world could be destroyed.

“I was born as a chess piece of the gods from the start. Do you know how painful it was to be imprisoned by the demons without being able to save my parents, living a life where I only used miracles?”

“……”

“I don’t know what the Heavenly God wants, but I never once wanted to be a Saintess.”

Victoria’s voice sounded sadder than ever. It was rare for her to bring up a story like this, a story of sacrificing most of her life just because she was born a Saintess.

“Like a canary in a cage, I was trapped in a place where I couldn’t eat or sleep properly, just using miracles. Then I was finally rescued by the Holy Knights of the Papal State.”

Victoria swallowed her tears as she recalled the past, speaking slowly. I knew from a book in the Saint Kingdom’s forbidden library that she had lost her parents to demons, just like me.

Victoria’s hometown, called the Miracle Village, was ultimately a place riddled with the selfishness of people who knew of her sacrifice but turned a blind eye to it.

“That’s why I thought I had to live my life as a Saintess. After all, I was able to survive thanks to the Heavenly God. But you know what’s funny?”

“…Victoria, you’re too drunk. Stop drinking now.”

I saw Victoria’s reddened face and her already slurred pronunciation and made her put down her glass. She was drinking heavily out of frustration because I wouldn’t give in to her seductions.

“No. You didn’t listen to me when I told you to quit drinking and smoking. I was so worried you’d be poisoned like the previous Pope, or get sick and die.”

– If you actually die, I’m staying single forever. And I’m going to carve your name big on your tombstone and make sure you get teased for being impotent for eternity….

Victoria’s true feelings were being conveyed more clearly than ever. Judging by the unfiltered sentences and thoughts, she had already drunk past her limit.

“You’re the only man who’s treated me like a normal woman, not a Saintess. Other people always say, ‘Lady Victoria, please heal my sickness. Please make me rich…’ and pray to me all the time.”

Victoria gently stroked the back of my hand with her fingers, giving me the softest look. The reason I treated her normally was because I thought it was the right thing to do.

“But it’s because that’s the right thing to do….”

“Exactly. Because you’re such an upright person. Which is why you’re even putting off answering my feelings right now.”

– If Astarte-nim was just some guy who hit on any woman, a b*stard who dirtied his X-head, I wouldn’t have fallen for him in the first place.

Victoria said, smiling slightly as she looked at my face. I’d heard countless times that I was the first man who didn’t lust after her naked body, but was actually worried about her health.

When she walked down the street, many men would leer at her with lascivious gazes because of her large chest and seductive curves.

She’d even said that she felt like dying when she became a topic of men’s gossip, subjected to lewd talk about how wanton her figure was.

“…So I thought. Ah, this person can love me as just Victoria, not Saint Victoria.”

In contrast, my reputation was very favorable.

“But why don’t you ever prioritize me? Even if it’s just a contract relationship, you know I like you now.”

Victoria said, taking out the will I’d left behind and placing it on the table. Her tear-streaked face was reflected in the clear surface.

“Is my love so overwhelming, even after I’ve told you how I truly feel? Is it okay to just leave me a will like this and die?”

“No, I don’t think so….”

“Tch, that’s all I needed to know.”

With that, Victoria left a short kiss on my lips. It wasn’t the passionate kiss she usually gave, but a sensation tinged with a little regret.

“…I’ll wait for the real answer. So don’t you dare die. And next time, tell me you love me in a more romantic place. Promise?”

Victoria then hugged me once more, saying she would go back to the lodgings first.

– No matter how I think about it, I think I would be happier if you held me because you truly wanted me, not because of some drunken accident.

– Isn’t that what real love is?

Listening to Victoria’s inner thoughts, which gradually faded into silence, I felt my heart flutter slightly.