Into The Thrill

"How exactly are you going to scold me?"
"Very frighteningly. So much that you won't even remember this guy."

"It looks like I'll be spending this summer vacation at home. Being punished by Hyun Woojin."
As Haewon leaned in to kiss him, Hyun Woojin pulled his head back this time.
"Don't flirt. I'm still not over it."

"Why do you grumble like an old man? Just shut up."
"How old is that guy?"
"Probably older than you."

"How old exactly?"
"Ugh, just stop it."
Finally, Haewon had enough, grabbed Hyun Woojin's head, and forcibly kissed him.

∞ ∞ ∞
Their relationship had been smooth. They spent the summer together. ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) Haewon managed to drag the busy Hyun Woojin for a day to a hotel pool for tanning and swimming. Except for the occasional deadly seriousness of Hyun Woojin, things were generally smooth.
As late autumn arrived, practice began for an overseas performance that had been booked since last year. It was a music festival organized by a state broadcaster in China. Top orchestras from Asia were participating, along with pop singers, opera singers, and a collaboration of Chinese pianists and violinists.

The conductor, who had been active in his homeland all last summer and had entered the country, handed over the symphony conducting notes to the concertmaster and went home early after catching a cold from the suddenly chilly weather in Seoul after a rain.
They couldn’t adjust the whole orchestra and decided to practice by sections. The practice kept getting interrupted because one of the second violins kept making mistakes.
"Mr. Moon Haewon, could you teach Ms. Se-yeon?"

"Me?"
"Why?" Haewon asked with his eyes to the concertmaster. It was something that the principal or the assistant principal should be doing, not someone from the second violins, who was no different from an assistant to the first violins. Though he was older in age, by tenure, she was Haewon’s senior.
"It’s because your playing has improved."

"That’s true. What’s going on lately? Any secrets on how you suddenly got better, or why you’re working so hard? You’ve changed."
It seemed like a hassle to pass on, while the assistant principal of the second violins praised him. The woman, now having to take lessons from a fellow section member, sat uncomfortably.
"I just want to finish quickly and go home."
So, he coldly said he couldn't spare the time and grabbed his music sheets. Those who wanted to practice more could stay, and those who were done could leave.

"Grinding your teeth to go home quickly? That’s a great motto."
"Can I go now?"
"Don’t go yet. Just show her for a bit. If you just demonstrate, Ms. Se-yeon can quickly follow."

The assistant principal gave orders to Haewon and then left. Stuck with the annoying task, Haewon sighed and spread the music sheets again on the stand.
"Which part are you struggling with?"
Haewon asked her. According to Hyun Woojin, she was the one who stumbled during the regular performance and accidentally flipped two pages of the music at once. The woman hesitated and then flipped the music sheets, pointing with her bow at the measures she struggled with. Haewon adjusted the screw on his bow and placed his violin on his shoulder.

"I have urgent matters, so I need to go. I’ll show you just once."
When he said he would do it just once, she quickly pulled out her phone to record it. Haewon frowned, but she quickly explained.
"I’ll make sure your face doesn’t show. It’s just going to show the violin and bowing."

Admiring her eagerness to try anything, Haewon let her and carefully drew his bow.
He was only going to show her once, but ended up watching her practice and listing the techniques she lacked. Disregarding the effort of the person who took the time to teach her, she coldly grabbed her music sheets and said she would ask the first violin principal to teach her.
He had done well to speak rudely on purpose. Haewon put away his violin and left the practice room. These days, practice ended late every day, and even if he left as soon as possible, he often arrived at his officetel after eight. Being busy was a blessing in disguise.

Hyun Woojin had also been busy, with no contact for several days. Haewon had resisted the urge to contact him ten times. On the eleventh time he felt that urge, unlike now, he didn’t resist and made the call. Looking down at his phone that didn’t pick up, he ended the call as it only gave back a ringtone.
After a shower, he had a simple dinner. Thanks to Hyun Woojin, he had learned how to make fried rice.
After dinner, he watched a movie for the first time in a while. The advantage of his officetel was the powerful audio system, which he could turn up to the limit. As he was watching a war movie, munching on snacks, the sounds of bombs and gunfire ceased, and immediately the sound of someone pounding on the door of the officetel came without missing a beat.

Haewon paused the movie with the remote and approached the entrance. Peeking through the peephole, he saw a man he didn’t recognize. Hyun Woojin, who usually came and went at his leisure, knew the door code. Even when Haewon changed it on a whim, Hyun Woojin somehow found it out and entered.
Outside stood a man Haewon did not know. Where had he seen him? As he pondered the vaguely familiar face, the man knocked again. Haewon picked up the intercom.
"Who is it?"

―Ah, you’re in there but why so slow?
The man sighed deeply and adjusted his posture. Through the intercom screen, Hyun Woojin could be seen with his arm over the man’s shoulder.
Haewon quickly opened the door. It turned out to be the man who had come with a shirt and car when Hyun Woojin had intentionally caused a collision. Supporting a staggering, drunk Hyun Woojin, the man stumbled along with him.

"I’m sorry for the late hour. The senior insisted we come here. May I come in?"
"Oh, yes. Please come in."
The man entered and laid Hyun Woojin down at the entrance. The thoroughly drunk man collapsed to the floor.

"I’ll be going then. Sorry for the intrusion. Senior, I’m heading out."
"Yeah, sure."
Hyun Woojin didn’t even lift his head as he spoke. The man who had delivered Hyun Woojin to Haewon’s officetel turned around and left light-heartedly. Haewon stood at the entrance and watched him go. It was the first time he had seen him drunk.

"How much did you drink?"
"Just a few bomb shots."
"You didn’t pick up the phone. Were you drinking?"

"How could I refuse when the deputy chief prosecutor offers?"
Drinking bomb shots seemed to be part of his job. He sighed deeply. Haewon removed his shoes and helped him up. The completely intoxicated body was barely manageable to drag to the bed. He struggled to pull the staggering man and finally laid him on the bed. The short effort made Haewon sweat.
"Phew…"

Hyun Woojin ran his fingers through his disheveled hair and tried to sit up, then gave up and lay back down. It was somewhat impressive that he had come to him instead of going to his own officetel while drunk. Perhaps his paralyzed senses from the alcohol had led him to the person he wanted to see the most. Did he think of Haewon when he was drunk? Haewon watched him, caught up in the alcohol fumes.
"I’m going to China next week."
"Uh…? What?"

"For a performance in China."
"Ah."
He grimaced as if forcibly holding back sleep. Haewon took off his jacket and removed his socks, pants, and shirt. He pulled him up a bit more so his head rested on the pillow, clad only in his underwear.

"Do you want something to drink? Are you thirsty?"
"Anything."
Haewon grabbed an ion drink from the fridge, unscrewed the cap, and offered it to him, but Hyun Woojin was too unsteady to even accept it. Haewon wrapped an arm around his shoulder to help him sit up and brought the drink to his lips. As the drink wetted his dry tongue and entered his mouth, he regained some clarity and grabbed the bottle with his own hands, gulping it down. Haewon wiped away the drink that had spilled onto his chin and cheek with a tissue.

He laid him down properly and covered him with a blanket. Haewon sat beside the bed and looked down at Hyun Woojin. He swept his disheveled hair back and touched his cheek. With his thumb, he rubbed his soft lips, causing them to move slightly. Hyun Woojin opened his eyes faintly and looked up at him.
"Haewon."
"…Yeah."

"Wake me up at six."
"I wake up at eight. How can I wake you up at six? Get up on your own."
"Six… a.m."

Haewon lowered his head and pressed his lips to Hyun Woojin's forehead. He wanted to keep pressing his lips there, wanted to suck on him. He kissed his furrowed brow, his cheek, and even his lips, which reeked of alcohol. Hyun Woojin, neither fully asleep nor fully conscious, exhaled harshly. Haewon, seeing him out of his mind, asked,
"Who am I?"
"…Moon Haewon."

"Do you like me?"
"…"
"Do you like me? I'm asking you."

"…Yeah."
He didn’t seem hesitant or like he was thinking it over; it took a long time for his brain to process the question.
"Was there someone else you liked before me?"

"…No."
He was lying, even though his brain had melted from the alcohol. Haewon, mimicking what Hyun Woojin had done to him, grabbed his cheek and lifted his head. Hyun Woojin struggled to open his heavy eyelids, and when he met Haewon’s gaze, the depth in his eyes darkened.
"Why are you lying?"

"I don't know. Hah…"
He sighed deeply and, as though irritated, pushed Haewon’s hand away.
Now was the chance. If he interrogated him now, he could uncover Hyun Woojin’s hidden feelings for his deceased fiancée. Hyun Woojin wouldn’t remember what he said, and even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to ask Haewon about the details of what happened tonight. Haewon, in a cowardly way, found a loophole and asked,

"Is that how you live?"
"…"
He frowned slightly at the simple, direct question. His expression showed he didn’t want to hear it.

"Do you just live like this, pitying yourself, getting drunk, going into hotels with random women, and coming here to sleep with me? Is that all you do to satisfy your desires?"
"…What are you talking about?"
"Is it because you're tortured by your fiancée’s death?"

"…"
He looked at Haewon with half-open eyes, as if trying to make sense of the question. His focus was gone. Haewon couldn’t find anything in his eyes—no longing, no hidden memories, nothing. Maybe he was too tired to even look anymore; Hyun Woojin eventually closed his eyes.
"I'm thirsty."

He said in a rough, cracked voice. Haewon brought some water and, like before, held Hyun Woojin up, putting the bottle to his lips. He slowly swallowed, the water traveling down his throat with a sluggish gulp. Hyun Woojin drank about half the bottle before collapsing back onto the pillow.
"Do you think I’ll see you as some pitiful man with a sad story?"
"Shut up."

He mumbled as if in his sleep. Then, twisting his upper body, he crawled up Haewon’s leg and reached for his hand. He pressed his cheek into Haewon’s palm, and then fell asleep.
Since Hyun Woojin had said he needed to wake up at six, Haewon set an alarm for six in the morning and lay down beside him, curled up, staring at Hyun Woojin’s face as he drifted to sleep.
In the early hours of the morning, Haewon vaguely heard him wake up, take a shower, and leave. Just before leaving, Hyun Woojin murmured something into Haewon’s cheek, possibly thanking him for letting him sleep or waking him up, though Haewon couldn’t be sure. Regardless, the last word he heard was "thank you."

Haewon nodded in his sleep, smiling at the pleasant feeling of someone patting the back of his head, and let his consciousness slip away.
∞ ∞ ∞
A few days later, Haewon climbed the stairs to the concert hall, holding a handout notice with a few remaining overseas schedules and reminders written on it. He took his phone out of his pocket, and upon seeing Hyun Woojin’s name, his face brightened without him even realizing it.

"Yeah, Woojin hyung."
― Did you have lunch?
"I'm on my way to the practice room after eating. What about you?"

― I had lunch with the department head.
"It must’ve been bland."
They rarely talked about work, but Haewon knew from their brief conversations that Hyun Woojin didn’t like his boss very much. And he also knew that his lunches were usually simple meals like galbitang, kalguksu, or kimchi jjigae around the legal town area, and that he didn’t like to be crowded, so he usually ate a light dinner.

There were many other things Haewon had learned about him. His work performance was ranked highly in the prosecutor’s office, making the department head unable to treat him poorly, and his office secretary and investigator were extremely skilled.
Haewon knew that Hyun Woojin drank bomb shots when he drank, that he’d been in the special department for about three years after transferring from the criminal division, and that the special department dealt with large-scale cases and important figures. He also knew that his current goal was to get promoted to ‘star’—the rank of prosecutor general.
His goal wasn’t a pipe dream; it was very specific and realistic.

Haewon also learned that, since Hyun Woojin often worked late nights, he exercised for an hour a day to maintain his stamina, usually after work before dinner.
Breathing heavily while receiving a call, Haewon had once snapped, telling him not to pick up the phone while doing that kind of thing with someone else, you jerk. Hyun Woojin had laughed and answered that he was on the treadmill.
The more Haewon learned about Hyun Woojin, the more a foolish sense of superiority grew within him. He knew more about Hyun Woojin than the dead fiancée he had in his heart, and he was imagining a future with him that was a little longer.

"Are you coming tonight?"
― I can't today.
"I bought a bunch of groceries for dinner, thinking you’d come. You jerk."

Haewon couldn’t hide his displeasure, and a curse slipped out naturally.
― You bought groceries and are making me cook? You’re such a brat. I’ll come tomorrow.
It seemed that Hyun Woojin wasn’t exactly in his right mind, since he found Haewon’s complaint about cooking to be adorable.

"Why can’t you come? Just eat dinner and leave, then."
― I have a night shift.
"You said you had a night shift last time. Is it normal to have night shifts this often?"

― I’m covering for someone else.
"Are you a fool?"
Hyun Woojin chuckled.

― To my seniors, I’m the fool.
"Then Jung’s also a fool."
Jung, his junior, was the kind of person who would do anything Hyun Woojin asked, even if it meant rolling over, getting up, or pretending to die.

― That’s right. Jung’s my fool, and I’m someone else’s fool.
"Can’t you come after your shift ends?"