Into The Thrill

"Ah, play something."

Hyun Woojin, who had been reading the documents while sipping his coffee, suddenly lifted his head as if he had just remembered and spoke to Haewon.
"What should I play?"
"Play the violin."

"......Out of the blue?"
"I just feel like hearing it. Haewon, play for me."
"What do you want to hear?"

He had never directly asked for Haewon to play the violin like this, but Hyun Woojin liked to listen to Haewon play, liked to watch him play. When Haewon was practicing, he would deliberately stay quiet, not wanting to interrupt.
This time, Haewon didn’t refuse. He opened the case and took out his violin and bow. As he positioned the body between his chin and shoulder, he tuned the strings and asked again, "What song do you want to hear?"
"That one... what was it? Paganini's Cantabile?"

Paganini's Cantabile in D major, Op. 17, MS 109, is a piece that doesn’t require flashy technique but has a calm and beautiful melody. Haewon had once played it lightly while warming up, and Hyun Woojin had asked the title. Contrary to his appearance, Hyun Woojin liked delicate and static pieces, like the gentle breeze of spring.
Haewon played for him. Just as the title suggested, the smooth, singing melody of Cantabile swayed in the dry air. After finishing Paganini, he moved on to Beethoven, and after Beethoven, it felt as if he was pressing a button on a music box to select Sarasate’s piece, playing one after another.
After playing enough to satisfy him, Haewon felt like he had participated in a difficult audition. His neck was stiff, and his shoulders and arms ached. As he massaged his neck, Hyun Woojin asked.

"Is something hurting?"
"I was tense, watching you, and now it’s all stiff."
"Why are you watching me? Did you do something wrong?"

"No... just. I feel like I have to be quiet, and it bothers me."
Because Hyun Woojin pretended not to know about Kim Jaemin, Haewon trailed off, his words cut short. As Haewon rubbed his stiff neck, Hyun Woojin's fingers, without hesitation, slipped into his hair and gently massaged his scalp.
Unlike Haewon’s long fingers, Hyun Woojin’s hands were long and graceful, giving off an intellectual vibe, with thick knuckles. They were the hands of an adult man that Haewon had admired since he was a child.

Those fingers often led Haewon’s mind into sinful thoughts, making him imagine them touching him, imagining the thick fingers penetrating like a man’s organ, the pressure on his scalp, and the massage on his neck.
His hands moved down Haewon’s shoulder line. The fingers, rough and feeling like thick knuckles, were soft like the skin of a baby deer in contrast to his palms. Hyun Woojin’s hand gently grasped Haewon’s stiff neck. The grip made a faint groan escape Haewon’s lips.
"Is it relaxing?"
"It feels good."

The tension that had built up in Haewon’s shoulders and neck melted under Hyun Woojin’s touch. After massaging Haewon’s neck and shoulders for a while, Hyun Woojin pulled his hands away and spoke.
"I'm a little hungry. Can you make me something?"
"Me?"

Haewon didn’t know how to cook. He usually bought side dishes from a store, or if that was too much trouble, he just ate instant food. The only things he could make were ramen or rice in a rice cooker. Despite living alone for ten years, Haewon was so bad at cooking that the only thing he knew how to make was fried eggs.
It wasn’t even forced, but with Hyun Woojin’s unblinking gaze, Haewon nodded reflexively.
Standing in front of the kitchen, Haewon glanced back at him, feeling his gaze behind him.

"Go sit down. Are you watching me in case I put something poisonous in?"
"I’m just watching. It’s the first time you’re cooking for me. I’m touched."
"That kind of emotion can come after eating. You won’t be moved after you eat. You know I can't cook, right?"

"I’ll eat anything. Except for trash."
"......"
Haewon, still under Hyun Woojin’s silent pressure, stared back at him and searched for a simple recipe on his phone. He found a quick stir-fried rice recipe. The ingredients—kimchi, ham, potatoes, garlic, onions, pepper, and gochujang—were all in the fridge. Cooking wasn’t difficult; it was just that Haewon hadn’t cared before. It was as simple as promised, and soon, Haewon had made the stir-fried rice.

"Thank you. I’ll enjoy it."
Hyun Woojin silently ate without giving any comments on whether it was good or bad. Haewon had expected him to say something and then use it as an excuse, but he didn’t say anything about Kim Jaemin, which made Haewon even more uneasy and anxious. He had no idea what Hyun Woojin was up to. The fact that he didn’t say anything only made Haewon more nervous.
"Why are you shaking your leg like that?"

"Who? Me?"
Haewon, who hadn’t even noticed he was doing it, looked down at his legs after Hyun Woojin pointed it out.
"Why are you doing that?"

Still shaking his leg, Haewon ignored the signals from his brain telling him to stop and asked Hyun Woojin.
"Why are you acting like you’ve done something wrong?"
"No one’s done anything wrong. I haven’t done anything wrong."

"People who are interrogated tend to shake their legs like that. Especially those with small guts."
"......"
Hyun Woojin, still reading his documents, asked with precise diction. Haewon, though not even looking at him, lowered his gaze.

"It’s not that... exactly..."
"Double negatives are not a good habit. Say it clearly: either yes or no."
"Stop teaching me. Are you the teacher, and I’m the student?"

The tension was already high, and when Hyun Woojin sat there calmly, speaking in a low tone, it made Haewon’s heart race, his breath quicken, and he hated how his body stiffened because of it. That was why he reacted sharply—like now.
His calm power was sometimes nice, but other times, it was ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) creepy. Only then did Hyun Woojin take his eyes off the documents and look at Haewon.
"Did you have anyone you were seeing? You did, right? Wasn’t there someone serious?"

"I don’t have anyone coming to my place."
"What am I supposed to do when they keep coming even after I tell them not to? Should I beat them up and get arrested? Then you’ll have to visit me in prison. You know we can’t have sex while I’m in there, right?"
"Is he a composer?"

"I don’t know."
"What is he then?"
"Probably a composer."

"He was good-looking."
"......"
Kim Jaemin was not someone to be looked down upon anywhere he went, but compared to Hyun Woojin, he was on a different level, and the contrast was stark. Haewon watched him stand up from his seat in disbelief.

"A handsome man coming to your house."
"…Who are you talking about now?"
"Move."

"…"
"Move into my officetel building."
"Don't talk nonsense. I don't have the money for that, and I can't just do whatever I want here. I need my father's permission."

"I'll take care of that, so just move yourself."
"I can't sleep on any bed other than this one."
"You seem to sleep just fine."

"You're the one who came uninvited. I haven't even contacted you since I met him."
Haewon felt suffocated just by breathing while standing and looking down at him. In his hand, he held something like a tightly coiled whip, creating an extreme tension that made it difficult for Haewon to even breathe.
It would be better if he could just express his feelings as he felt them, but dealing with criminals all the time, Hyun Woojin wasn’t the type to show his displeasure in conventional ways. When necessary, he would not show his displeasure or anger but condensed it. He kept it underfoot and it seemed up to Haewon when it would explode, which was another aspect of Hyun Woojin that Haewon didn’t particularly like. Haewon liked Hyun Woojin when he seemed indifferent but was actually affectionate.

"Come uninvited, so move out. Make sure we don’t run into each other in the future."
"I'm not coming anymore. Even if I do, it has nothing to do with you."
"Give me that man's name, phone number."

Hyun Woojin took out his phone from his pocket.
"…What?"
"Name and phone number."

"Why?"
"Let me talk to him."
"What are you going to say?"

"It’s none of your business."
"…Do you realize how unreasonable this is?"
"Unreasonable?"

He rolled his eyes to look at Haewon while preparing to make a note on his phone. Haewon shuddered under that threatening gaze.
"How can you call someone I just had a thing with and say what? I told him I was seeing someone. He's not the type to pester me or act grossly."
The mess made in his officetel was unexpected, but if he was the type to get easily swayed and dragged around by emotions, he wouldn’t have started seeing Kim Jaemin in the first place.

"So you're saying I’m acting gross now?"
"Not gross, just unreasonable."
He shut his mouth and pondered for a moment before putting his phone back in his pocket. It was like blocking a predator who approached minors.

"Haah, fine."
Hyun Woojin sighed. He felt like if he even thought about cheating, he’d be on a one-way train to the afterlife. His jealousy was so fierce it didn’t even look like jealousy. It would be better if he just exploded in anger and made a scene about feeling bad. It was almost like Hyun Woojin was quietly strangling him from behind, and it made Haewon feel sorry for the suspects who got caught by him.
"Take off your clothes."

"…What now?"
"Since I’m the one you’re seeing, I have the right to ask that."
"What right? The right to undress me?"

"No, the right to ask you to undress in front of me. So take them off."
"If you're going to boss someone around, get a dog. Don’t see anyone else."
As Haewon stood up to leave, Hyun Woojin’s hand clamped down on his forearm. Haewon looked up with displeasure.

"I’m really not feeling good right now, and I don’t know how to handle it."
"Why are you asking me? You should know best."
Not a child, and acting as if he had never felt such emotions in his life, he was just executing whatever came to mind: asking for coffee, asking to play the violin, asking for cooking, asking for Kim Jaemin's phone number, and when that didn’t resolve his feelings, demanding to prove his possession by asking him to undress.

"What do you call this disgusting feeling?"
"…Are you dumb, hyung? You’re jealous."
"Jealous?"

"Yes, jealous. Like how you hated the people hyung used to see. Of course, the elder must feel the same."
Haewon was jealous of his deceased fiancée. That was the correct label for this ugly feeling. Hyun Woojin must be feeling very awful right now.
"I never expected to see you from head to toe."

"I’m sorry about that. I didn’t expect to come here either."
"Jealous?"
This is jealousy...? He seemed utterly unable to comprehend his feelings and actions.

"Anyway, if there’s a chance this might happen again, I’d like to prevent it in advance. Whether you move, or give a clearer warning to him."
"How do you prevent it? You want to put me in a chastity belt? Make sense."
"Chastity belt?"

His eyes lit up with interest at the mention of a chastity belt. Haewon punched him in the arm.
"I have a lot to complain about too. I just endure it because arguing is useless."
He had nothing to boast about. While seeing Taeshin, he dallied with women in hotels, and never once told him he loved him or liked him.

Begging for such words felt like begging for emotions, so Haewon didn’t show it, but he had felt resentful more than once or twice.
Hyun Woojin wrapped an arm around Haewon’s waist and pulled him close, their faces nearly touching. Haewon looked at him quietly.
"…If someone says you're handsome, you’d be upset to hear that."

"People usually say that when they see a face like that."
"My standards must be high. Or maybe they've gotten higher."
His face seemed new to him.

"Are you curious to what extent he touched you? Is that jealousy?"
"It’s jealousy."
"Did you kiss? Did he touch your chest? Did he suck your nipples?"

"That’s not jealousy, that’s being gross."
Haewon was sickened by his explicit questioning. He frowned.
"Tell me. I won’t get mad."

He feigned a kind expression. His lips awkwardly stretched into a smile. He didn’t seem to realize that it was even scarier. To Haewon, his demeanor was thrilling, like a thriller movie; to say he didn’t like it would be a lie. He liked Hyun Woojin for being this kind of person. It was an irresistible pull. Uncontrollably so. Haewon wanted to kiss him quickly.
"I don’t remember."
"And below? Did he suck there too?"

"Never... not there."
"You said you don’t remember. Don’t lie."
"…I don’t remember."

As Haewon embraced his shuddering, jealous shoulders, he murmured filthy words into his lips, pressing his own lips to his. Hyun Woojin twisted his head away and continued to question.
"Did you leave that part alone? The very place you wanted to touch first?"
"I don’t remember."

Haewon pressed his lips again and licked them, but Hyun Woojin turned his head the other way, avoiding his lips.
"Put your lips away."
"Stop it already."

"No way. You lied, so you need to be punished. You need to be disciplined."
Haewon looked at him expectantly. Being scolded by Hyun Woojin was a pleasure for him.