Lovers

17

Death of a Horned Goblin

My mind went blank after receiving the phone call that Jay had died.

I looked around the cafe where people were laughing. It felt surreal. How could my subordinate be dead while I’m here chatting idly? He died without me knowing, the body has been identified, and the funeral is tomorrow? That means the Security Bureau has already given the body to the family.

If that’s the case.

I strode over and grabbed Lee by the collar. He choked, but I didn’t care.

“That phone call just now.”

“Gak, this, let go…”

“They say Jay Wu is dead and the funeral is tomorrow. Why am I only finding out about this now?”

Department 2 might not know, but you, from Department 1, you bastard who stuck me here, how could you not know?

Yes, the situation was strange. Things were definitely not right. Thinking about it, it didn’t make sense from the start. No matter how much of an idiot Lee is, calling someone to drink during an operation, does that make any sense? Especially during an operation to arrest Canaris members?

This was an operation planned from the beginning. Which means.

“That Riegel bastard is also from the Security Bureau…”

“No, that’s not it. We didn’t know Riegel would show up there. That’s not it, Lee just asked to buy some time by putting you in the operation.”

Volkari, who had approached without me noticing, wrapped her hands around mine that were gripping Lee’s collar. At her gesture to stop, I looked down at her.

“Why?”

Why did I have to be dragged into this operation…

Shit.

Maderke.

Why didn’t I realize it? In Maderke, we killed those Canaris bastards. It was on Layer’s orders. Even though there was ample opportunity to capture them alive, Layer ordered us to kill them, and we followed that order. And then Layer separated me and my subordinates as we were about to leave to find the remaining members. I naturally thought my subordinates had left to find the remaining members. But I hadn’t confirmed it.

Did my subordinates leave to find the remaining members? Or… were they “dealt with”?

I should have thought about this situation when they pulled just me out of Maderke.

“Team Leader Schnieke. Team Leader Martin was just following orders. Let go, unless you really intend to kill him.”

Looking at Lee’s face, it was already purple. I roughly pushed him away, also shaking off Volkari’s hand.

In Maderke, Layer insisted on killing the ringleader. Why was that? Ordering to kill when capture was possible meant the target shouldn’t be allowed to speak.

Only after thinking that far did I realize I knew nothing about this situation. Why Layer ordered to kill the ringleader, why they pulled only me out of Maderke.

“I need to go.”

There’s no one here who can give me answers. That person is at headquarters.

As I put on my padded jacket and shouldered my bag, Volkari warned from behind.

“Team Leader Schnieke. Otto Layer might be worse than you think.”

“I may be stupid compared to the people here, but…”

There’s no need to be sarcastic. I know, but I can’t help but speak harshly.

Jay is dead. The funeral is tomorrow. What about the others? Where are they? Why did Jay die? Who killed Jay? If Jay was “dealt with”…

All sorts of bad thoughts swirled in my head. I brushed them away like erasing a drawing in sand and said:

“I know Otto Layer better than anyone here.”

The chief is the type of person who could “deal with” my entire team and then some.

I don’t understand why they only pulled me out of there.

I felt Lee getting up behind me, saying “Together,” but I just left. I can’t bring myself to apologize to him.

As soon as I left the cafe, I felt like throwing up. Shit. My heart was already pounding even though I knew nothing.

I rushed to the chief’s office as soon as I entered headquarters, but the chief had already fled. Right, he has no intention of answering. I thought about barging into the director’s office. If the Department 2 Chief knows about this situation, it means the director must know too.

However, I stood blankly in front of the stairs leading to the director’s office and eventually just left.

What would I do if the director used his position to shut me down?

What if he orders me to drop the Maderke case? Would I disobey? If I disobey there, I’d be dragged straight to the interrogation room on the 5th floor. If there’s a possibility of being confined without getting a proper explanation, I shouldn’t move.

My head was burning.

I stood in front of the Security Bureau and then crouched down on the ground. I took out my phone and looked for my conversations with Jay. Jay hadn’t read them. He usually ignored other people’s messages, and I had just thought that’s how he was.

When did he die?

At what point, while I was carelessly saying things like “That bastard, I’ll get him,” did you die? Who killed you?

Did you… die painfully? You were my subordinate, but I don’t know how you died, why you died, who killed you. I don’t even know the autopsy results.

I thought about contacting Lee to ask, but I felt like I wouldn’t be able to speak, so I gave up. I feel like I might explode if someone touches me. If I had a gun, I feel like I might start shooting. Looking up at the sky, I see a piercingly blue winter sky.

How the fuck…

How can I find out about your death like this?

I can’t even contact the other team members. Jay’s death probably means they’re not safe either.

It’s cold.

I really didn’t know Lumaier could be this cold.

The next day, the weather was disgustingly nice, and Jay’s funeral was held modestly.

“Hello.”

A woman greeted me with a smile on her haggard face. This woman must be Jay’s fiancée, who was his salvation. Jay loved his fiancée tremendously. He had to. Jay was abandoned by his home country.

Jay had caused trouble in his home country and joined the military at a young age to protect his family. He was a child soldier. And his country sold Jay, who seemed talented, to Blaiberg, which was a socialist country at the time. Jay, who was being raised as an Asian spy in Blaiberg, finally became free when Blaiberg abandoned its socialist path and became a democratic country called Rotman in the year he turned fourteen. But he couldn’t return to his home country and was just a fourteen-year-old with nothing, a beggar with the skills of a killing machine.

Eventually, as soon as he turned sixteen, he became a mercenary, and while living that life, he met this woman. To Jay, who could only ever be a permanent foreigner in this country, this woman was life, goal, friend, family – just everything. Jay said his dream was to work hard and save money for a few more years, then live supporting this woman.

I should ask how Jay died, but I can’t bring myself to. Because I might end up saying how pitiful that bastard was, how after suffering his whole life he finally met you and became a little happy, only to be murdered.

“You’re Armin, right?”

“I’m Armin Schnieke. It’s… nice to meet you.”

The woman sniffled and smiled.

“Yes, I thought we’d meet… somewhere else.”

They were engaged. They were going to get married soon. Yes, I too thought I’d see this woman in a place with white cloths fluttering, flowers in full bloom. Not in a place full of black clothes like this.

“I’ve heard a lot about you.”

At my words, the woman said “Me too” and smiled again. Every time she smiled, tears fell from her red, swollen eyes. The woman was trying to be strong. Not to live, but to take care of the last moments of the person she loved.

The woman’s sunken eyes. Her hollow cheeks. She’s trying hard to smile, but I don’t know what to do about the despair felt in each drop of her tears. I feel so guilty, damn it.

“…The cause of death…”

When I asked, the woman lowered her head and said, “A traffic accident.”

“Even though he traveled a lot for work, I thought there wouldn’t be any problems since he worked for a stable company… but a traffic accident…”

I saw the woman bite her lip. A traffic accident? It’s the easiest method used for “handling” situations. There’s no way he could have had a traffic accident in Maderke. Moreover, Jay’s cover job was an office worker who traveled frequently. Maderke was sealed off for three months, so officially he couldn’t have had an accident there.

“Where did the accident…”

“On Munben Street. On his way back from a business trip.”

Munben Street. I was there yesterday too. Because headquarters is on Munben Street.

Jay, who should have been in Maderke, died in Munben?

If they had moved Jay’s body, they wouldn’t have handled it on Munben Street. So Jay dying on Munben Street must have been the actual situation. In other words, Jay escaped from the Security Bureau but died on Munben Street. It was a death visible to others, so even the Security Bureau had to handle it as a traffic accident. – This is the most likely scenario.

That’s roughly what I suspect, but I need confirmation.

While my head was spinning, I heard the woman’s voice.

“He was trying to come to me, to me quickly…”

I can’t tell her that he was probably murdered, in response to her voice mixed with self-blame and despair. Unable to hug the crying woman who keeps saying it’s because he wanted to see her, and unable to look away, I stood there like a criminal before finally managing to walk to Jay’s body. Jay was lying in the coffin. There was a flower in his hand. And on that hand, his engagement ring was still on.

The guy who said he’d live happily if he got married, that his dream was to live supporting his wife for life, was murdered.

Asians were quite rare in the Rotman Security Bureau. In Department 1, Jay and I were the only Asians. Although we were called Asians, we who came to Rotman as children had no identity other than being Rotman people. But Rotman was a place where all kinds of discrimination ran rampant, and we weren’t safe from that discrimination either. This was a place that found hundreds and thousands of reasons to discriminate. Because you’re Asian, because you’re a woman, because you’re old, because you’re a child, because you’re a mother, because you’re a father, because you’re a man, because you’re poor, because you’re rich… Everyone was angry and discriminated while being discriminated against. Especially, looking different was a severe target for discrimination. We often supported each other while experiencing discrimination within the Security Bureau. Like two horned goblins relying on each other to survive.

After doing this, Otto Layer fled without even giving me an explanation. I can’t believe this is reality.

‘You’ll be my best man, right?’

I remembered the day Jay smiled. Shit, I can never be Jay’s best man.

Tears finally fell.