Loving Her Forgotten Mafia

JANE

The following days went in a blur as Rosario let me hold Jake's funeral, much to my surprise. But I was numb. I didn't cry anymore. Not even when Jake was being buried. I had no idea how much time had passed. Maybe a few weeks, a month or several months and Mom was still missing.

In front of Rosario, I acted my normal self, cooking, eating, and doing small talk with Matilda. But in the privacy of my room, I lived like a moving dead body. Blank and numb. A heaviness lingered in my heart permanently.

Adessa came every day to check on me and tried to get me to talk, but I couldn't. I didn't have anything to talk about. My mind was in a trance, as if it was floating in space.

She had asked me a few times if I wanted to get out of here, away from Rosario. But no matter how much in shock I was, I didn't forget the blood oath and the people for whom I did that. I didn't have anyone to call my own now. But at least I was useful to someone even in this state. Now, that 

was the only purpose of my life.

It was getting difficult to gulp down food, as the sight of it was making me nauseous. I was feeling sick every day. Something was wrong with me. Maybe I was going to die.

My eyes were trained on the plate of food in front of me as I sat on my bed, but couldn't bring myself to take a bite. Just thinking about eating made me nauseous.

Forcing myself to eat, I took a bite of the roasted chicken. Even before I could start chewing, I sensed bile rising up my stomach and immediately dashed to the bathroom.

I tried puking but nothing came out. I hadn't had breakfast this morning. Lunch was my first meal of the day which I couldn't eat. There was nothing in my stomach to puke.

After a few minutes, I started feeling better. But as soon as I turned to leave, my head spun and I had to grab the sink to steady myself. 

As the dizziness slowly faded, I walked back to the room but stopped on my way as something struck my mind. 

That night on Dominic's yacht!

Since when have I been here? What's the date today?

I dashed to the exit and peeked out, looking for someone to ask for today's date and found a soldier standing a few feet away.

"Excuse me."

He turned his head and looked at me as if he was looking through me.

"What's the date today?"

He frowned as I waited for his answer while my stomach was in knots.

"Eighth December," he drawled before standing like a statue as before. 

My chest heaved as my breathing got heavy. I shut the door with a bang and stood against it, trying to calm my breathing.

We had unprotected sex that night. I wasn't using any birth control and he forgot to use a condom. It had been a month and two days.

Am I pregnant?

I looked around the room as if looking for an answer. As if the walls would tell me what to do next. Gulping my own spew, I went to the nightstand and rang the alarm and sat on the bed.

In a minute, a knock sounded on the door before it opened and Matilda walked in.

"Do you need anything?" she asked with a smile, which vanished instantly as she laid eyes on the untouched food.

"I am not feeling well," I spoke before she could ask. "Can you please call Dr Adessa and ask her to come here ASAP?" 

"Okay. I'll call her right away," she spoke with a reassuring nod before leaving.

I threaded my fingers through my hair while my heart was beating fast. I waited and waited for what felt like an eternity before Adessa entered the room with a worried expression. 

"What happened?" 

I waited until she shut the door and took a seat on the bed, before speaking.

"I want a pregnancy test kit." Not wasting any more time, I got to the point.

Her eyes widened as she watched me for a few seconds before shaking her head to herself as if pulling herself out of a trance.

"Did you and Rosario…?"

I shook my head instantly. For some reason, I trusted in her even if I hadn't spoken to her much. She always tried to talk to me and make me comfortable while I had always ignored her, rather rudely.

"It's not Rosario's."

She seemed to have relaxed as she let out a deep exhale, confusing me even more.

She looked at the door as if making sure no one was listening.

"I do have a few kits in my bag that I had got for myself. You can use one now. If it shows negative, try again first thing tomorrow morning. That'll show an accurate result," she whispered before rummaging through her bag and handing out a stick to me.

I took the stick with a trembling hand and thanked her before going to the washroom. At the washroom door, I turned to her.

"Can I trust you to keep it a secret? No one in this mansion can know."

Her lips curved into a small and reassuring smile as she nodded.

"Promise. No one in this mansion will know."

Finishing the deed, I waited with bated breath, fingers crossed and my eyes closed. I didn't even know what I wanted the result to be. I was just praying whatever would happen, it should be for the best.

Did I want to carry Dominic's child? Yes. I wanted it a month ago when we had sex. But now. I didn't know how I felt about it. My heart would rejoice if it happened. It was just hopeless. But how could I get pregnant with the killer of my father? 

Would it be okay if I was really pregnant? No. It wouldn't. How could it be, when there was no guarantee of where my life would lead me? How could I bring a child into this mess?

But would I keep the baby if I was really pregnant? Yes. I would. Despite not knowing the result yet, I could already feel the protective instinct of a mother.

After waiting for a few minutes, I opened my eyes slowly as my heart thundered in my ears. I turned around slowly with my fingers crossed and my gaze landed on the stick lying on the sink counter.

My heart skipped a beat as I stared at the faint pink line beside the dark one and clamped my mouth shut in surprise. I had no idea how long I stood there, looking at the positive result staring at me until I heard a knock.

"Are you okay? Should I come in?"

I picked up the stick before opening the door. My heart was racing, thinking about all the possibilities while Adesaa watched me with a curious yet concerned look.

"What happened?" she whispered.

I raised my hand holding the stick and her gaze dropped before a loud gasp left her lips.

"Oh my god!"

I gulped as my throat felt dry out of fear.

"I can't stay here anymore." I threw the stick into the trash can while mumbling to myself.

This was about the safety of my baby. I needed to get out of here. But I wanted the Andersons safe too. For that, I'd need Dominic's help. I had to contact him. This was not about me anymore. Even if I wasn't going to be with him again, he had every right to know his child. We could co-parent it while living separately.

I was pulled out of my train of thought by a flick of fingers in front of my face and found myself already sitting on the bed.

"Are you hearing me?" Adessa asked in a whisper.

"Sorry. You were saying something?" I asked absentmindedly.

"Do you want to go back to Dominic?"

My gaze snapped up to her face. 

Did I imagine her talking about Dominic?

"What?" I asked with a frown.

"Do you want to go back to Dominic?"

My mouth hung open as I stared at her, unable to form a coherent word out of shock.

She seemed to understand my surprise as she smiled lightly before speaking,

"Brian is my boyfriend."

What the actual fuck?