Marvel X The Boys

The Boys, Alex, and Deadpool moved fast. The city was falling into chaos, but they weren't stopping to sightsee. Avengers Tower was the only safe bet—and even then, "safe" was a generous word.

Butcher led the way, silent and brooding, while Hughie struggled to keep up, probably regretting all life decisions. Alex still looked like he wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

And Deadpool?

Deadpool was thriving.

Avengers Tower: "Oh, It's You Lot Again."

The elevator doors dinged, opening to reveal the main Avengers meeting room.

And standing there, arms crossed, watching them like a pack of stray dogs?

Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, and Tony Stark.

Clint, Bruce were nearby, and Thor was leaning against Mjolnir like he was about to get real tired of this real fast.

The Boys stepped in like rebellious teens sneaking home after curfew.

Steve sighed. "Oh. It's you lot again."

"Nice to see you too, Captain America," Butcher said, voice dripping with mock respect.

"First name: Captain. Last name: America. Put some respect on it," Deadpool whispered to the imaginary audience.

Tony took one long look at Deadpool, sighed dramatically, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I knew I should've installed a 'no Deadpools allowed' protocol."

"You did!" Deadpool said cheerfully. "I disabled it."

Tony exhaled through his nose.

Why Are You Here?

Natasha sat on the table's edge, eyebrow raised. "So. This isn't a social call. What's the problem now?"

Butcher threw a thumb over his shoulder at the nearest TV screen.

The frozen image of Homelander's blood-soaked smile stared back at them.

Tony blinked. "I see. So that's today's nightmare."

Steve frowned. "Who are they?"

Hughie let out a dry, nervous laugh. "Uh. Yeah. About that… those guys are absolute psychopaths."

Frenchie nodded. "Mad gods, mon ami. You don't want to mess with them."

Deadpool clapped his hands. "BUT YOU WILL! Yay!"

Steve's expression hardened. "They killed civilians. On live television."

"That's them going easy," Butcher said grimly.

The Avengers all exchanged looks.

Tony looked at Deadpool. "And you're here… why?"

"Comic relief. Chaos. The glue that holds us together. Take your pick," Deadpool said, twirling a gun like a cowboy.

"You're the glue?" Clint scoffed.

"Hey, plot armor isn't just a perk, it's a lifestyle."

Deadpool turned to the imaginary audience.

"Okay, let's talk about the elephant in the room, folks. No, not Thor—he's the golden retriever of gods."

Thor squinted. "I do not know what that means, but I do not like it."

Deadpool ignored him.

"I'm talking about the real question. Why are we doing the 'awkward ally meetup' when there are psychos leveling the city? Huh? You all wanted Avengers vs. The Seven right away, right?"

He tapped his chin. "Well, too bad! Because we're doing buildup! That's right, dear readers! We're letting the tension simmer. We're letting you marinate in the 'oh sh** this is bad' feeling before everything explodes! It's called pacing! You're welcome!"

The entire room just… stared at him.

Bruce adjusted his glasses. "Is he always like this?"

Hughie, exhausted, just nodded. "You get used to it."

Alex, still overwhelmed, whispered. "I don't."

Strategizing… Kind Of---

Steve crossed his arms. "Alright. We need information. Who are these guys?"

Butcher's eyes narrowed. "They're the worst thing you'll ever meet. And you better hope they don't set their sights on you next."

"Define 'worst,'" Tony said.

Deadpool gasped. "TONY. BABY. You don't even know?!"

He jumped onto the table and dramatically narrated.

"The Seven!" dun dun DUNNNN

"A superpowered Justice League rip-off created by an evil corporation! BUT with 99% less heroism, 1000% more war crimes, and the combined moral compass of a dumpster fire."

He pointed at the screen. "And that bleach-blond fascist with laser eyes? That's Homelander. The human embodiment of a trust issues speedrun."

"Homelander is a god complex in a cape," Butcher muttered. "And if you ain't careful, he'll rip your head off for sneezin' too loud."

Thor rolled his shoulders. "I'd like to see him try."

Butcher smirked. "Be careful what you wish for, sunshine."

Tony swiped through data feeds. "Alright, well, these guys didn't just commit murder—they vanished after. No heat signatures. No traces. Which means—"

"They're hunting," Natasha finished.

Alex shivered. "Or waiting."

Wanda's eyes flickered red. "I can feel them. Their energy is… wrong."

Steve took a deep breath. "We need a plan. If we go in blind, people die."

Butcher cracked his knuckles. "Then let's make sure we ain't blind."

Deadpool leaned forward. "Ohhh. I like that. Very ominous. Almost like… A SETUP FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER! Dun dun dunnnn!"

Steve groaned. "I already hate you."

"I get that a lot."