Marvel X The Boys

The Kaiju roared.

The city shook. Buildings trembled. The Avengers, The Boys, and The Seven braced themselves for the battle of their lives.

And then—

Deadpool completely lost his s***.

Deadpool's Ultimate Breakdown

He spun around, wild-eyed, screaming at the sky.

"THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"

Everyone paused, mid-preparation-for-possible-death, to just stare at him.

"Are we—are we doing this right now?" Hughie asked, blinking.

Deadpool threw his katanas on the ground like an angry toddler.

"OH, WE'RE DOING THIS. WE'RE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW."

He pointed directly at the audience.

"HEY, AUTHOR! YEAH, YOU!"

Silence.

Deadpool stomped forward, gesturing wildly.

"You are telling me, after all this time, after all these chapters, you FINALLY decide to bring in a Giant Monster™, but it's NOT GODZILLA?!"

The Others Are Confused (As Always)

"Who the f*** is he talkin' to?" Butcher muttered.

"Just let it happen," Frenchie said. "It is... how you say... tradition."

Tony sighed. "This guy makes Loki look normal."

Deadpool was still going.

"This is a fanfic. A FANFIC! We can do whatever we want! No lawyers! No copyright strikes! No Kevin Feige breathing down our necks!"

He threw his arms up. "But NOOOOOOOO, we gotta go with some Dollar Store, Great Value™ Kaiju!"

He turned back to the sky, absolutely seething.

"OH, I'M SORRY, MR. AUTHOR! I DIDN'T REALIZE BUDGET CUTS APPLIED TO FANFICTION! WHAT'S NEXT?! YOU GONNA REPLACE TONY STARK WITH 'GENERIC TECH BILLIONAIRE #4' BECAUSE HE COSTS TOO MUCH TO WRITE?!"

Tony blinked. "Wait. What?"

Deadpool spun on him.

"STARK, YOU DON'T GET IT! NONE OF US ARE REAL! WE EXIST IN A STORM OF CHAOS CREATED BY THE WRITER'S SHORT ATTENTION SPAN!"

Steve folded his arms. "Alright, that's enough—"

"NO, IT'S NOT!" Deadpool pointed back to the gigantic creature looming over the city.

"THAT THING IS BASICALLY A KAIJU! JUST CALL IT GODZILLA! WHO CARES?! IT WON'T SUE YOU!"

The Kaiju, seemingly annoyed, let out another earth-shaking roar.

Deadpool turned back to it, screaming.

"SHUT UP, FAKE-ZILLA! THE GROWN-UPS ARE TALKING!"

Homelander Has Had Enough

Homelander, who had been watching all of this with an increasingly deadpan expression, finally sighed.

"You know what?" He rubbed his temples. "I'm just gonna kill him first."

Deadpool snapped his fingers.

"HAH! JOKE'S ON YOU, SHINY-TEETH! YOU CAN'T KILL ME."

Homelander narrowed his eyes. "Why not?"

Deadpool grinned. "BECAUSE PLOT ARMOR, BABY!"

Then he turned back to the sky.

"OH, AND AUTHOR? YOU BETTER MAKE ME LOOK COOL AS HELL IN THIS FIGHT."

Steve exhaled. "Alright. We done?"

Deadpool cracked his knuckles. "Oh, we've BEEN done, Cap. But now? Now, we fight."

The Kaiju stepped forward, shaking the ground.

The battle truly began.