Multiverse Journey With Strange Items

Sirius glanced at the digital clock on his sleek, new phone.

The time stared back, unforgiving.

He was going to be late for school, again.

With a casual shrug, he pulled out the old flip phone that still lingered in his bag from his past life's memories and quickly typed out a brief leave slip, sending it off to the school.

Today, his education would have to wait.

There were more pressing matters to attend to: the urgent business of testing his new, absurd, cheat.

He manifested the Doge Bonk Bat first, the polished wood appearing with a familiar, faint golden shimmer in his hand.

He swung it three times, a soft swoosh, swoosh, swoosh filling the otherwise silent mansion room.

It felt balanced, comfortable, but visually, it was just a normal bat.

Nothing overtly special.

With no perverted or horny targets immediately available (thankfully), he couldn't test its unique properties.

He de-manifested the bat, letting it vanish with a thought, then returned his focus to the phone in his hand.

"Let's see," he murmured, his fingers hovering over the other two newly drawn meme cards.

He tapped on the next one.

It was Vergil's Monobloc Chair.

The image was iconic: a stoic, silver-haired figure, sitting on a simple white plastic chair, an air of supreme confidence radiating from him.

Sirius read the details, his eyes widening.

<><><><>

Vergil's Monobloc Chair

Details: Summons a monobloc chair used by Vergil. When the user is sitting, it grants them a confident aura and invincibility to all attacks. While seated, the user cannot perform any attack moves.

Trait: Normal

Category: Utility

Uses: 3 [per day]

Meme Points Needed: 1 Meme Point per minute

Dismantling Return Points: 10

"Invincibility?!" Sirius practically shouted.

The sheer audacity of the ability, coupled with its utterly mundane appearance, was mind-boggling.

Even with the restriction of immobility and the Meme Point consumption, it was an incredible tactical asset. It could buy him time, offer an escape, or even allow for observation in dangerous situations.

Then, he tapped on the final card.

<><><><>

The Uno Reverse Card.

Its familiar red background and curving arrow stared back at him.

Uno Reverse Card

Details: A versatile card that can be used in any situation. Forcibly bends reality, redirecting any dangerous situation, be it attacks or events. The user will be able to reverse the trajectory of any dangerous situation they are currently in.

Type: Special

Category: Utility

Uses: 1 [per week]

Meme Points Needed: 5 Meme Points per activation

Dismantling Return Points: 100

<><><><>

"The heck!!" Sirius screamed, his voice echoing in the empty mansion.

This was even more ridiculous, more unbelievably powerful than the chair.

The Uno Reverse Card was one of the ultimate bail-out items!

Though limited to one use per week, its effect to "reverse any dangerous situation" made it a trump card worthy of absolute trust. It was the ultimate "nope" button against fate itself.

Without further ado, Sirius equipped all three cards into his "Quick Swap" slots.

He felt a satisfying click within the UI as they slotted into place, their absurd powers now at his mental command.

The only problem now was Meme Points.

"Is there any way to gather this without dismantling meme cards?"

Sirius murmured, his finger already scrolling through the app on his phone, desperate for more information.

After a moment of searching, his face fell.

He found no other methods listed.

Dismantling meme cards seemed to be the only way.

Sirius sighed, disappointment briefly clouding his excitement.

But he quickly regained his composure.

If he could draw some more powerful cards in the future, even if they required Meme Points, it could drastically improve his fighting power.

The potential was still there, albeit tied to a bizarre currency.

He continued exploring the phone's interface, a newfound curiosity overriding his earlier frustration.

Then, he found another page in the app menu.

It simply read: Relative Status Checker.

Sirius curiously navigated to it.

The screen transformed, displaying what looked like typical parameters used in games. It showed his current status:

<><><><>

Status: Lowest in this World's Hierarchy

STR (Strength): 4 [Average Human]

INT (Intelligence): 3 [Average Human]

DEX (Dexterity): 3 [Average Human]

AGI (Agility): 4 [Average Human]

WIS (Wisdom): 4 [Average Human]

PTL (Potential): 10 [Average Human]

LCK (Luck): 30 [Above Average] [Max 100]

Definitions:

STR: The total force the body can exert.

INT: The ability to digest and process knowledge and information.

DEX: The ability to make use of tools effectively.

AGI: The maximum speed to execute any task or movements.

WIS: The ability to apply learned knowledge effectively.

PTL: The maximum growth ceiling allowed to the body.

LCK: Fate manipulating stat, grants favor from fate itself.

<><><><>

Sirius stared at the stats, a mixed bag of emotions swirling within him.

His core physical and mental stats were painfully average. "Lowest in this World's Hierarchy," the status declared, a blunt reminder of his precarious position.

But then, his eyes fixated on Luck: 30 [Above Average].

A stat that grants "favor from fate itself."

He thought of the events of his recent past: being left an orphan, his malicious relatives trying to take his inheritance, and the dark moment he almost ended his life before transmigrating.

Wasn't that series of bad luck? he mused, but then shook his head.

That was his pre-transmigrated self.

He compared it to his current situation: he had wealth, the pesky relatives were already handled before his arrival, and despite a week passing, he hadn't encountered any stray devils yet.

And now, finally, his cheat perks had arrived.

Maybe this luck stat was inherently his, he pondered, not this body's.

Sirius thought for a long time, trying to untangle the threads of fate and his past life, but eventually refocused himself to check his new phone again.

Having sent a leave slip to school, he decided to spend his day thoroughly checking the phone's capabilities.

*******

Meanwhile, at school, the usual sleepy, silver-haired student was missing from his customary seat.

Murmurs rippled through the student body.

"Hey, where's Kawahara-kun today?" one girl whispered to her friend, glancing at Sirius's empty desk.

"Oh, you didn't hear?" her friend replied, leaning in conspiratorially.

"Apparently, he tried to confess to both President Rias and President Sona! Can you believe the nerve?"

"Eh, really? That gloomy transfer student? He's probably hiding in shame," a male student scoffed from a nearby desk, earning nods from his buddies.

"Serves him right for trying to get close to our school beauties."

"Honestly, some guys just don't know their place," another girl muttered, fanning herself dramatically.

"Hmmp! His face might be decent, but his personality is a zero. And to think he'd bother them like that.!"

Others speculated he might be dejected and had simply taken a leave, unable to accept his rejection.

This made the girls openly disgust him, and also earned him enmity from the boys, who saw him as yet another rival for the school beauties' attention.

Aside from these minor events, the usual school conduct moved on as normal, largely oblivious to the strange new power now brewing within one of its students.

*******

The next morning, Sirius woke up as usual, the soft sunlight filtering through his room.

He immediately reached for his sleek, unbranded phone, eager to check his daily rewards.

The card-drawing animation played, and three identical cards materialized on the screen.

His brow furrowed. "Seriously? Three of these?"

It was the "This is fine coffee" card.

The image showed the iconic dog, sitting calmly at a table with a cup of coffee, while everything around him was engulfed in flames.

He tapped on one to see its details:

<><><>

"This is fine coffee"

Details: Summons a cup of coffee. When drunk, it grants the user unmatched calmness for 1 minute. It will let you ignore anything and keep you calm even if the world is on fire.

Trait: Normal

Category: Item

Uses: 1

Meme Points Needed: None

Dismantling Return Points: 1

<><><>

Sirius's eye twitched.

"A minute of calm? Useful, I guess, but not exactly a combat cheat."

Based on its category, an 'Item' type, he realized he could directly summon and use it without needing a quick swap slot, simply by manifesting and "tearing" the meme card from his inventory.

Checking the effects again, he decided it was useful for non-combat situations, perhaps for staying composed during a stressful conversation or a surprise pop quiz.

But three of them felt redundant.

He decided to dismantle two copies, keeping just one.

He tapped the "Dismantle" option on two of the cards, and with a faint shimmer, they dissolved, adding 2 Meme Points to his counter.

His total now stood at 2 Meme Points.

With his daily draw handled, he proceeded to school.

Upon arrival, the stares of contempt were even more visible than before.

Whispers followed him down the hallways, a mix of disdain from the girls and open hostility from the boys.

Right~ he thought, a dry amusement stirring within him.

Maybe due to desperation and the urgent need for protection last time, he had failed to factor out the intense jealousy of the boys and the almost worshipful admiration the girls held for Rias Gremory and Sona Sitri.

His clumsy attempts at "confession" had only served to paint a target on his back.

Sirius sighed, but this time, it was less frustration and more acceptance.

This was nothing but a minor inconvenience.

His current goal had shifted entirely: from desperately seeking protection from prominent powerhouses in this world, to systematically gaining strength and unique abilities using the strange meme objects he would daily receive.

The path was clear, even if it was paved with absurdity.