My Angel Is Out of Their Mind

I clenched my fists.— Alright.

My voice sounded firmer than I expected.

The angel slowly tilted her head, looking at me with exaggerated amazement.— Wow. Did you hear that? — She pretended to address an invisible audience. — He can actually make decisions! Somebody give this guy a medal!

I rolled my eyes but said nothing.

The angel giggled but then instantly turned serious, her gaze piercing right through me.— Alright, jokes aside. You have a choice. It will define who you will become… if you choose to become anyone at all. So, use your brain.

She snapped her fingers.

In the air before me, glowing red letters flashed:

INITIALIZING SYSTEM…

A strange mechanical sound tore through the void, like something enormous awakening after a long slumber. Goosebumps crawled up my arms.

Then, a new window appeared:

⚙ CLASS SELECTION ⚙

There were… a shit ton of classes.

I slowly waved my hand through the air—the screens stretched into infinity.

🔴 Berserker"The strength of a beast, the fury of a warrior. Kill before you're killed."

🔵 Arcanist"Drawn to magic? Feel the world's energy flow through you."

🟢 Trickster"Deceive everyone. Even yourself. Even me. If you can."

⚫ Dark Paladin"Protector? Executioner? Decide for yourself. No one will judge you… except your conscience."

🟡 Fate Weaver"Some play by the rules. Some rewrite them."

🟠 Ashbringer"You are the one who carries the fire. The question is… will you burn your enemies or yourself?"

🟣 Shadow Dancer"You are neither a hero nor a villain. You are the shadow behind their backs."

I scrolled down.

The classes didn't end.

🟤 Farmer"Oh, great plowman, feel the power of the land! The harvest shall be bountiful!"

🟩 Newspaper Carrier"Deliver the news quickly and accurately! Legends say one paperboy once threw a newspaper so hard, it sliced a dragon in half."

🟦 Plumber"Save the princess. Jump through pipes. Throw fireballs. Wear a mustache."

🟥 Guard"Once a great warrior… then took an arrow to the knee."

🟧 Dock Worker"Dream job. Long-term, stable, stress-free. Very calming."

🟪 Hero in a Green Cap"Your destiny is to save the world… but first, gather 50 chickens into a pen."

I kept scrolling.

Even deeper.

🟫 Lord of Worlds"Shape the laws of reality. Remove gravity. Ban pineapple pizza."

🔳 Endless Emperor"Your people are all who live and all who will live. You are always right. And always victorious."

🔲 Protagonist"You are always the main character. The universe revolves around you. Every plot twist serves you."

I froze.

— ANGEL.

She lazily leaned against a column.

— What?

— Plumber?

— Well, someone's gotta maintain the world's sewage system.

— …Are you messing with me?

She shrugged.— Oh, come on, you just don't understand the true greatness of plumbers yet.

— Guard?

— Well, fate works in mysterious ways…

I covered my face with my hands.

— THIS IS NONSENSE.

— Oh, stop whining, I could've given you "Apple Picker."

I slowly looked down.

🟨 Apple Picker"A master of apple collecting. Legends say one once threw an apple so hard it pierced a knight's armor."

I glared daggers at her.

— CLOSE IT.

The angel burst into laughter.

I turned back to the screens.

The weight of choice pressed down on me.

So many paths.

I stared at the endless list of classes for a long time.

My face slowly turned into a stone mask of despair.

— That's it?

The angel grinned mischievously.

— Not enough for you?

— There are too fucking many!

— So pick one.

I turned back to the screens.

The more I looked, the more I wanted to jump out the window.

I squinted.

— Can I… create my own class?

The angel blinked.

Then she burst out laughing.

— Who the hell do you think you are, an indie game developer?

— I'm serious.

She narrowed her eyes.

— Oh, look at you, Mister Genius wants to invent something of his own.

I crossed my arms.

— If I'm given the chance to "choose myself," why should I play by someone else's rules?

The angel sighed.

— Oh, fine, fine, give me a sec, I'll turn on admin mode.

She snapped her fingers.

A new screen appeared in front of me.

⚠ UNIQUE CLASS CREATION ⚠"Do you really want to do THIS? Are you REALLY sure? You won't change your mind? This is not a joke!"

🔳 Enter class name[______________]

🔳 Describe its concept[______________________________________________________________]

🔳 Select starting abilities[+] Add ability[-] Remove ability

I blinked.

— Are you trolling me?

The angel dramatically waved her hand.

— No, no, you're the SUPER GENIUS here, go on, create something!

I rolled my eyes and slowly typed:

🔳 Class name: Pilgrim

🔳 Concept:"A wanderer between worlds. One who is not bound by a single fate.Not a hero, not a villain.Not a knight, not a thief.He simply… walks."

I slowly turned to the angel.

— Well?

She snapped her fingers.

The screen froze.

ERROR 404

The angel blinked.

— …Uh.

I looked at her.

She looked at me.

— Something broke.

I frowned.

— Is that… normal?

— No.

We both went silent.

Then the angel snapped her fingers again, and the screen flickered:

⚠ Selection unavailable. Class "Pilgrim" has been rejected.

I gritted my teeth.

— WHAT?!

She shrugged.

— Well… the system basically said, "Fuck your creativity."

A new screen lit up in front of me.

🔳 Random class selected…💀 "⸮⸮⸮⸮⸮⸮⸮⸮⸮" has been accepted.

I didn't have time to react.

The world flashed.

And I disappeared.